The 2 foster kids in my daycare are moving to a new foster home at the end of the week. Their last day of daycare will be this Wednesday. Lots of emotions rolling around right now.

On the one hand, this move needs to happen and has needed to happen for awhile. We all made it to the end of the school year so the 6 year old wouldn't have to change schools for the 3rd time in 1 school year, ditto with daycare for the 4 year old. We made it but it was by the skin of our teeth.

On the other hand, the kids have been with us and the foster family for over 1/2 a year. There are behavioral concerns that the current foster family and my daycare cannot address without outside help, and the state sees no reason to approve that help. We've done what we can but without the additional professional help, we're stuck.

I'm sad to see them go, but at the same time happy because it has been difficult to say the least. I'm upset at the system and their bio parents who are failing them. I'm angry, heartbroken, happy, and feeling guilty all in one. I'm grieving I guess. Grieving for the kids, grieving for the loss.

These kids need help. Things were going well for 4 months, improvements were happening. Then, bio parents spiraled. It started with one parent leaving the state all together, with no plans to come back. A month later the other parent went back to the old lifestyle. Things got worse in a fast hurry. The kids went back to survival mode. Self preservation at all cost. They have remained in that state of self preservation for 2 months, and it's just getting worse.

The whole situation just sucks. This week is going to suck. Sometimes I hate my job.

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HUGS!! Had a little girl, special needs, who was removed from her parents and given to her grandparents. We made so much progress in the 3 months she was here. Then gram lost her job and state wouldnt help anymore. They left the daycare and ended up back with the parents. Miss that kid everyday (and its been almost 3 years)

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Whatever happened to doing what's best for the child?? If these poor children need help, even more now, then why are they not going to get it?? I hate bureaucracy and jumping through hoops; I hate that children's futures are sadly affected and determined by crap like this. Those little ones were born into situations, through absolutely no fault of their own. They need all the help they can get. I hope it comes around.
Why aren't they approving the help they need? Do they come in and observe for 15 minutes and base their answers on that? So a dcprovider or foster family who sees those children day in/day out don't know what they're talking about? I've seen that happen before.
I hope the best for them. Sounds like the state might be handling bigger problems down the road if those children don't get help that they need now.

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That right there. It's either 1000's when they are kids, or many times that when they are older.

I hope something goes right for them soon.

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Bumble Bee

I just lost a DCK that was also a foster child.

Foster family got whole family (5 kids- same bio parents for all) 3 yrs ago. Had them about a year and a half when an Aunt and Uncle took them back. Then about 6 months later decided to keep child #1 and #3 but return #2, #4 and #5 to the foster family

Foster family tried everything to adopt.

Nope. Difference race so NO GO.

Foster family simply could not continue doing it (same reasons as you gave....system failure/no support for additional needs/help) and children were returned to the system.....

Parental rights will never be terminated although they rarely comply with visit rules or court requirements but "reunification" is more important so ....

The foster care system is a huge failure in this country.
Like welfare, the idea/concept is commendable and positive but the implementation is despicable and disgraceful.

I am sorry you are dealing with this. My parents were foster parents while I was growing up and the kids we took in will forever have a place in my heart and I hope the little we were able to do helped them.

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Big hugs. Sometimes it's so hard to see kids get less than they deserve. And so many of them are in that situation. It makes me so, so, so, so sad.

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This is precisely why I could never do foster care

Sending lots of love your way so you get through your week.

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I researched and wrote an article on this - "Adoption over Reunification" a few years ago. IMO reunification is putting the parent's biological rights before the child's rights to health and safety.

OP - I'm so sorry you're going through this And I'm sorry these kids have to go through this I've read so much on foster care and I can only imagine the heart break you're feeling by seeing this first hand.

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Thinking of you this whole week. It's a tough emotional battle for all of you.
It's hard knowing there's only so much you can do when the child needs so so much more.

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I agree with this so much. It's very disappointing. I thought the CPS in my county was one of the few that was awful but the more I speak with other moms who have adopted OR who do foster care the more I'm learning that it's pretty awful everywhere.

So sorry for all involved in this situation.

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This 100%, I will never forget them.

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This says it all

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Amen to this! A child's physical and mental well being should be priority over remaining with bio parents!

I can't foster again, bless those who do.

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Their last day was Wednesday. They moved today. To say I've been an emotional wreck would be an understatement. I hold it together during work but once work is over it's an all out cry fest over here. I'm grieving big time.

I'm off all of next week for my summer vacation. I'm not sure if that's a good or a bad thing given the circumstances but it is what it is.

Thank you to everybody for the kind words, thoughts, and prayers. They are all greatly appreciated.

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