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Old 11-18-2010, 07:58 AM
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Default 3yo Lying..WWYD?

So I have a 3yo dcb that I watch do certain things and when I tell him to stop he says "I didn't do that" or "I'm not". I physically see him doing these things and he knows it.

I would think this is fairly normal for this age because they are just starting to learn about lying, fibbing, etc.

What do you do when your kids do this? I keep telling him to stop lying but even in my own head "lying" seems like a harsh word in this context. I'm a fairly strict provider as I don't let them get away with a lot but it's very hard getting through to this child. He is defiant in a way that he thinks he's cute and not mean.

I thought about getting some books from the library on lying, making things up, etc.
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Old 11-18-2010, 08:00 AM
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The Boy Who Cried Wolf is a good one. Instead of 'Are you lying', you can say "Are you telling the truth?" and have a lesson about truth and trust.
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Old 11-18-2010, 08:04 AM
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Originally Posted by missnikki View Post
The Boy Who Cried Wolf is a good one. Instead of 'Are you lying', you can say "Are you telling the truth?" and have a lesson about truth and trust.
Yeah, I like that phrase much better. Thanks We did get a version of the Boy who cried wolf but I'm not sure we read it enough for them to get the actual meaning. I might have to get it again.
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Old 11-18-2010, 08:16 AM
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if its continues and you see them do it then I think harder consequences need to be taken. I hate lyers, even my own children know this. I have a 3 yr old whos brother is a habitual lyer, well now the younger one is following his footsteps so I told him that his nose keeps growing and will fall off if you keeps lying (like pinochio) and I even say "oh my your nose just got bigger" I should add, I can usually tell when the kids are lying.
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Old 11-18-2010, 08:18 AM
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We have a great dvd by Max Lucado Hermie and friends.. The one about Lying is Hermie and Friends Series #2: Flo the Lyin' Fly, DVD. There are three dvds in the series I have and they are all great And its a carton Id try that if it were me..
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Old 11-18-2010, 08:28 AM
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Max Lucado is awesome! I have a bunch of his books from when my own kids were younger.

"More serious consequences for lying"......what if they are lying about a potty issue? I want to make certain that they can't misunderstand and think they are being disciplined for potty issues when I'm really doing it for the lying. I have a 3 1/2 yo dcb who still won't potty train. If I start smelling something funky, I'll ask him if he needs a diaper change, and he'll always tell me no. Upon further investigation, it IS him who needs to be changed. I always talk to him about telling the truth, and also remind him that he needs to tell me he needs to go, not go in his diaper. That's obviously not working though. So what consequence would you give in this case for the lying?
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Old 11-18-2010, 08:33 AM
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I would also try and ask him things when he's NOT in trouble, and really praise him for telling the truth. A lot of times at this age kids "lies" are more of the way they wish it was, rather than an actual trying to decieve someone
You could even do a little truth/not true game at circle, so he knows exactly what he's doing. You state a few "facts" and the kids tell you if it is true or not--simple things like:
"S has on a blue shirt today"
"True"
It's raining outside"
"Not true!"
then talk about the difference in what was true and what was not true, and how we always need to be truthful so that people can trust us
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Old 11-18-2010, 08:37 AM
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I know this won't work for all, b/c everyones beliefs are different. But when my dcg, gave me the "I'm Not". I reminded her...that is was lying and Jesus didn't like for her to lie. I about 2 weeks of doing that (she is part time), she stopped. Jesus is very important to her, even a 2 1/2 yo. It does help that her Dad is a Pastor and she is very well taught .
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Old 11-18-2010, 09:08 AM
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Originally Posted by SandeeAR View Post
I know this won't work for all, b/c everyones beliefs are different. But when my dcg, gave me the "I'm Not". I reminded her...that is was lying and Jesus didn't like for her to lie. I about 2 weeks of doing that (she is part time), she stopped. Jesus is very important to her, even a 2 1/2 yo. It does help that her Dad is a Pastor and she is very well taught .
I think that is great I had similar thing this am with my dd she was acting upset when I brushed her hair and complained and got all huffy (normal) and I said What do you think Jesus would say about how you are talking to me and it was the end of the subject Girls though tend to wear there hearts on their sleeves( at least mine) and can be broken down more than some boys! works for me with her..
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Old 11-18-2010, 09:11 AM
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I know someone who helped potty train a boy by telling him "Jesus wants you to use the potty" and if he ever got scared about using the potty that His angels would come down and help him. It worked.
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Old 11-18-2010, 09:21 AM
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I just did alot of crazy jumping happy praise I also made a sticker sheet chart and if they pottied they got a sticker or happy face drawn on the chart and if a boo boo i made a sad face .. My son was devastated by the sad face But I would jump up and down and whoop it up when we went. My grandson would do the same things to me when I went potty.. Grandmas a big girl ...Yeah grandma lol.. Praise is everything with kids it works wonders. Try rewarding overly on the times he goes and does well.. try a sticker chart
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Old 11-18-2010, 10:20 AM
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my son did this when he was 3/4 - he's still four, and it's not as bad. he does it to ME. i'll be watching him while he's doing something and when i ask why he's doing it, he says "i'm nooot." for example, cutting his bedsheet with a pair of scissors. walk in...see him doing it...i'm nooot.

i really never, ever considered dealing with it as lying although i guess it technically is lying - i think there's more to it. does your boy lie in other situations? or only if you catch him in the act?

my son gets embarrassed and gets his feelings hurt easily. he'll go hide somewhere if he thinks he's going to get in trouble, BUT if i walk in and catch him in the act...it's hard to run and hide. i think he says "i'm not" because he's embarrassed/afraid, and doesn't know what to say. if i were to see that he cut his sheet an hour after he had done it and i didn't catch him in the act - he would tell me that he did it and why.
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Old 11-18-2010, 10:28 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by marniewon View Post
Max Lucado is awesome! I have a bunch of his books from when my own kids were younger.

"More serious consequences for lying"......what if they are lying about a potty issue? I want to make certain that they can't misunderstand and think they are being disciplined for potty issues when I'm really doing it for the lying. I have a 3 1/2 yo dcb who still won't potty train. If I start smelling something funky, I'll ask him if he needs a diaper change, and he'll always tell me no. Upon further investigation, it IS him who needs to be changed. I always talk to him about telling the truth, and also remind him that he needs to tell me he needs to go, not go in his diaper. That's obviously not working though. So what consequence would you give in this case for the lying?
i would do what momofsix suggested....talk about a lie and her game is a perfect example.

if he's 3.5 and hasn't figured out to go to the potty, i wouldn't count on him telling the truth about whether or not he went. i don't think he knows what a lie is. i think his parents know what a lie is and you need to spank them when they lie and say they've been potty training i don't know how you do it....i had to change a 4 year old diaper once and i swore i'd quit my job if they expected me to do it again. NASTY!
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Old 11-18-2010, 10:37 AM
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if I know they are lying,.. I point blank say,.. I do not believe you, I saw you do it. I am not happy and you need to,... and finish with whatever the punishment or activity or whatever is. I think sometimes we give them TOO much rope. you know? did you push him down,.. gives them room TO think maybe I didnt see them,.. and that they may get away with it,.. if I see them, I correct them. If I have a pretty good idea that they are lying,.. I simply say,.. You know Robyn, you hit Josh a minute ago, and now he is crying and saying you hit him again,.. is there something I need to know? and they usually fess up. or If they dont I say,.. ok,.. well until we figure out what happened, you are my shadow,.. come on.... and they have to stay within touching distance of me.
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Old 11-18-2010, 10:50 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by QualiTcare View Post
i would do what momofsix suggested....talk about a lie and her game is a perfect example.

if he's 3.5 and hasn't figured out to go to the potty, i wouldn't count on him telling the truth about whether or not he went. i don't think he knows what a lie is. i think his parents know what a lie is and you need to spank them when they lie and say they've been potty training i don't know how you do it....i had to change a 4 year old diaper once and i swore i'd quit my job if they expected me to do it again. NASTY!
@ spanking the parents!!

He's 3 1/2 but looks/acts/speaks like a 5 or 6 year old So yeah, not real thrilled about changing diapers on a child that size.
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Old 11-18-2010, 10:57 AM
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I'm going to have to get these movies, cause like I said, the kid I have loves to lie all the time.
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Old 11-18-2010, 11:22 AM
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Yeah, I'm definitely going to look into these movies as well!
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