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Old 08-05-2014, 09:36 PM
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Default Is Your Mom Your Assistant?

I would love to hear feedback from anyone who does in home daycare and their mother is their assistant. I am thinking about hiring my mom, but I'm wondering if there would be too many downfalls to working with family. What to you like about it, what do you not like? Anything you would do differently?
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Old 08-05-2014, 10:01 PM
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My mom is my assistant and she is wonderful! I can be totally honest with her, she's super dependable, and such a huge help! I guess it would depend on whether or not you have a good relationship and can have open communication. I couldn't have made it without my mom as an assistant- she's truly incredible and is a huge asset to the daycare- the kids just love her and she's able to give my own kids a little extra love while I'm feeding a baby, changing a diaper, etc.
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Old 08-06-2014, 04:29 AM
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I can see it both ways. My Mom subbed/ assisted for me a few times when opened, and it worked really well. She had 25 years in ECE experience and I had worked for her for several years in her center, so we knew how we worked together. Now she enjoys retirement too much- if I called about subbing she would be "busy" that day.

My Mother in law lives with us now, and it is a mess as far as the daycare goes. My advise would be to ask yourself 3 questions:

Would I hire her to work with me if she wasn't my mother?
Can we separate personal and professional lives?
If I say out loud "My Mother's going to be here ###hours a week." are you smiling or cringing when you say it? Go with your response to that question.
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Old 08-06-2014, 04:33 AM
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Mine is a sub. Works ok for me that way.
I would feel weird having her as an assistant though. I would expect an assistant to do all the things I don't want to do. So giving her a list of cleaning chores would be awkward.
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Old 08-06-2014, 06:58 AM
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My mom is my sub and was my assistant after I had our 6th child. It worked out really well, but we get along great. and our parenting/caregiving styles are similar.

IMO if you get along well with your mom and can keep the business part strictly business it'll be great. I've cared for family members' children before and the times it didn't work out was when they couldn't keep business and family separate.
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Old 08-06-2014, 07:52 AM
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It has it's days. I'm the boss it's my daycare and my mom has a hard time with that part. Also clients will take issues to her since she is older which is not OK. Also my mom has a favorite daycare kid which she treats him better than any of the kids I call her out on it and she doesn't like when I do that. We have plenty of disagreements.

Its not easy!
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Old 08-06-2014, 08:56 AM
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I had some health issues this year and instead of paying my usual subs all day every day to come, my mother stepped up and helped me out. All of the families liked it bc she has that grandma quality about her. They seemed to open up and be more trusting of her bc they knew me and I guess figured she must be ok if she raised me. Haha! I learned a lot from her when she was here. She had a great way she talked with the babies, she shot down any tantrums and had a patience for the kids that I could only wish to have one day. The only down side I saw was that my mother still saw me as her child. So when a parent asked to pick up a little late or didn't thank me for going out of my way, my mom wanted to protect me in some sort of way. She made quite a few comments to the parents when I wish she would have kept quiet. I like to pick my battles. As long as you have a good relationship with your mother it can work out very well. It's a great way to bond!
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Old 08-06-2014, 10:40 AM
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My mom is my part-time asst and my sister is my full time asst, altho we are 'partners' to everyone except licensing.
Upsides: I can trust them with everything, we generally agree on most child-rearing/daycare issues, and I like to hang out with them anyway.
Downsides: I feel I have to tiptoe a little bit through issues if there are any, not a lot, but I try harder not to hurt feelings bc they take it personally (could be a personality and not relationship issue), and I get tired of them.
I'm guessing I would get tired of almost anyone, however, so that's really a moot point. And I would probably tiptoe through issues with anyone as well, just to keep a good working relationship.
All in all, I wouldn't do it any other way, they are both essential here
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Old 08-06-2014, 11:25 AM
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My mom is my co-owner. We opened one daycare 3 years ago and worked together there. Then a year and a half later we opened a preschool in a separate house that I run. So now we don't work together all day, but still see each other and talk a lot. It's not bad, but there are times when I get frustrated with her and I'm sure she secretly gets frustrated with me. I guess it all depends on the relationship you have with your mom. I don't think I could be my mom's boss. My MIL tried working for us a few times when we were desperate but she couldn't handle all the kids lol
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Old 08-06-2014, 11:42 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Is it bedtime yet? View Post
I would love to hear feedback from anyone who does in home daycare and their mother is their assistant. I am thinking about hiring my mom, but I'm wondering if there would be too many downfalls to working with family. What to you like about it, what do you not like? Anything you would do differently?
I am group child care which means I can keep 12 children and have worked with my mom the entire 20 plus years.....if she ever wants to quit, I will go back to 7 children.....SHE IS AWESOME! Would NOT work with anyone else 45-50 hrs a week!!!!!
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Old 08-06-2014, 04:30 PM
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Blandino and her mom work together. She is not on here much anymore, but if you message her you might get some feedback.
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Old 08-07-2014, 05:03 AM
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My mom worked as my assistant several mornings a week over the summer. I loved having her here and she was very helpful and dependable. She is much more firm than I am which is actually a good thing with 2 of my dck, but dcg kept telling dcm that my mom was mean to her. She wasn't, they just clashed b/c dcg doesn't mind well at all. It's really hard to tell your own mom if dcm has a complaint with her. I finally got to where I didn't even bring it up with my mom. Just told dcm that dcg doesn't like to listen and exaggerates. I said I was sorry for the issue it was causing, but if dcg was staying here she would have to trust that no one is being mean to her child. The complaints stopped after that and dcg is still here. I would say it all depends on your relationship with your mom. If you can discuss the hard issues that might come up w/o causing family drama, go for it. Having my mom here was a blessing! Just remember that if you often have disagreements it will be compounded when you are together a lot more during the day.
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