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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>A little off Topic. Second Grade
daycare 01:38 PM 09-16-2015
My son is in the second grade

we are having HUGE issues with his teacher.

My son is VERY sensitive to yelling. The only place he hears it, is on the football field when he plays and practices.

Well this Teacher is a yeller. My son is scared to death of her to go to school. so we are having the daily I don't want to go to school. UGH


I have already emailed her about it and she assured me that she was not yelling, but was having issues getting the kids on to a routine and was using very stern voices. Ok I get it been there, but if you ask any of the kids, they will say she yells.

Ok I get it they are just back from summer, actually we are one month in. the kids are learning to adapt to new teacher, class and etc.

Well the yelling has settled a little, my son does not like his teacher and we are having a hard time finding a way to convince him that she is ok.

Then there is the issue of forgetting the daily homework folder to bring home and he is not the only one. Just this week 5 out of 6 kids that we know in his class forgot their homework more than once and its only Wednesday. I know because many of the kids in his class are also on his football team.

Well I emailed the teacher asking what the routine or expectation of the kids are when it comes to making sure that the homework folder is in their bag and going home. See last year the teacher organized it all and made sure it went home. This year the kids have to do it. the teacher still has not returned my email. This was Friday of last week.

well today when my son forgot his homework folder, I made my husband go back and get it. I made him ask the teacher my question and her response was the kids are not organized.

REALLY...... so then show them how to get organized and teach them what is expected. how can I reinforce anything with my child if I don't know what is expected of YOU or what they are expected to do. am I wrong for feeling like this??


what should I say to her so that I can help my son fix this. HELP......
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littletots 01:53 PM 09-16-2015
You've spoken to the teacher, now make appt with principle. The yelling is what I would focus on. Good luck & pls update.
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Thriftylady 04:43 PM 09-16-2015
While even at this young age, I agree that kids need to be learning responsibility. But she needs to be helping teach it! You do need a meeting. In the meeting I would discuss the yelling, and I would also discuss the homework folder. I don't see how it would be that hard to take a couple minutes at the end of the day to direct the kids to put their folder in their backpack. I would also bring up at the meeting not answering emails in a decent time. I understand teachers have many students in class (to many in most cases), but much like us they need to be working in a partnership.
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hope 07:18 PM 09-16-2015
In regards to the homework, if the folder or assignment is not brought home than ds needs to do his missed assignment the following day during recess. He will only forget once.
As for the yelling, that is just unacceptable. Pps are right. Speak with the principal.
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Willow 07:56 PM 09-16-2015
Is she new?

I actually would NOT go to the principal this early on. My kids and I have dealt with the fallout from pulling that trigger too soon. Consider the fact that if you go to that extreme, and it pisses her off, he's still stuck spending 7+ hours with her a day for the rest of the school year.


Forgetting homework is common for kids at that age and imo, no cause for alarm. There is a learning curve and it takes time to sort out. If she's young and green she'll sort out eventually that what she's doing isn't working and change it, if she's experienced she's likely laid back because she knows the issue nearly always sorts itself out. Just like you as a daycare provider can feel miffed if/when parents don't trust your process, you couldn't blame her if she was upset by you telling her boss that she doesn't know how to do her job right? Now I would hope a grown woman wouldn't hold a grudge against a child but honestly now, if crap hits the fan with a parent, doesn't it mess with your head and put a damper on the whole working relationship?

I think it's only fair you give her the benefit of the doubt for a bit longer than a month. I'd personally shoot for that first report card and gauge his progress then. If he's learning, retaining and thriving - you may just need to suck it up and admit maybe she did know what she was doing after all (even if it goes against everything you'd do!). If however he's struggling academically, socially or in general just isn't making the progress you'd like to see - by all means do what you need to do as far as contacting her superiors for intervention.

Teachers have a myriad of different personalities and teaching styles and not all are going to jive with you and yours. That's ok!


I don't retrieve forgotten homework/projects/band instruments/gym shoes etc. Ever. I think it teaches there is an out for irresponsibility.

On a similar note, my oldest son, being of the timid variety, didn't like "loud" talkers or yelling coaches in early elementary school either. I was a calm SAHM, he did no preschool, and he was the youngest in his class. I used his encounters with such individuals to teach him that everyone is different. Maybe they didn't like the quieter way he talked. Or his fidgety ways. You can't expect people in the world to change for you just because you find them unpleasant. Nor can/will mommy make all those unpleasant people change or disappear. Tolerance and acceptance are awesome virtues, as is the confidence to know unpleasant traits in others aren't to be taken personally




(hope, my daughter is dyslexic and has missed recess many times for being unorganized and forgetting her homework. It's definitely not an effective technique for many kids and I personally think it's kind of cruel with how long children are expected to just sit throughout the day these days).
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childcaremom 01:53 AM 09-17-2015
I think Willow is right... maybe a bit more time to sort itself out. I think grade 2 is a good time to start taking some responsibility and this seems age appropriate.

What are the consequences for forgetting their homework? As long as the punishment isn't extreme and fits the 'crime', I would think they would catch on sooner than later. I would give it another few weeks or so and if he is still having issues, have a chat with the teacher again. Maybe she has some tricks or techniques to help him remember?

My ds is a forgetter and a worrier. When he forgets something, he gets himself worked into a state. We've done a lot of talking about being organized, checking your school bag at the end of the day, etc. He's getting better.

As for the yelling, I understand completely as my 2 youngest would be sensitive to that, as well. Depending on the class make up, her stern voice may need to be extra stern at the beginning of the year until everyone gets in gear. Hopefully things quiet down soon.
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Play Care 03:06 AM 09-17-2015
When my oldest DD went from K to 1st grade, all the sudden it seemed she had to be responsible for getting her things together each afternoon. As she has ADHD, and never had to do it previously, it was a nightmare I swear if I heard the teacher say "She's in FIRST grade now!" one more time...
Not a good year at all.

I'm actually LESS concerned about the supposed "yelling." Yelling is so subjective. I am from a large Italian family and tend to be loud. I never realized it wasn't normal until I started dating my husband in my mid-20's We would leave family gatherings and he would say "Don't they know they're in the same room?!" It's something I bring up during interviews because I don't want parents to think I'm a yeller. I'm not.
I also find that some kids have no idea of the difference between being firm and yelling. I think it's all this wishy washy parenting that we tend to complain about a lot on here Unless I saw it first hand I don't know I'd be in a rush to complain. I might be more inclined to volunteer in the class (you have staff, if I recall?) now and again to see first hand what's happening. It's really hard to hide it when you have a parent coming in to volunteer a few times a week...
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Cat Herder 08:23 AM 09-17-2015
* Avoids and withdraws from adults.

Number two on the list of social development milestones for 7 year olds.

* Tends to complain, has strong emotion reactions.

Number three under emotion.

Sounds like he is right on target.

Son, please take out the trash. (smile) Ignored.

Son, take out the trash now. (same volume, no smile) "Fine, whatever! You don't have to yell."
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daycare 08:30 AM 09-17-2015
Originally Posted by Cat Herder:
* Avoids and withdraws from adults.

Number two on the list of social development milestones for 7 year olds.

* Tends to complain, has strong emotion reactions.

Number three under emotion.

Sounds like he is right on target.

Son, please take out the trash. (smile) Ignored.

Son, take out the trash now. (same volume, no smile) "Fine, whatever! You don't have to yell."
my love my love my love.....

where are you getting this wonderful information from.

My son actually is odd. He listens on the first time, NOw the rest of my own kids. are exactly as you said.

In fact i was talking to some other moms the other day about the fact that we have to get bat Sh%t crazy before our kids will listen. My oldest son is like this. Oh goodness he makes me want to pull out my locks
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hope 10:00 AM 09-17-2015
Originally Posted by Willow:
Is she new?

I actually would NOT go to the principal this early on. My kids and I have dealt with the fallout from pulling that trigger too soon. Consider the fact that if you go to that extreme, and it pisses her off, he's still stuck spending 7+ hours with her a day for the rest of the school year.


Forgetting homework is common for kids at that age and imo, no cause for alarm. There is a learning curve and it takes time to sort out. If she's young and green she'll sort out eventually that what she's doing isn't working and change it, if she's experienced she's likely laid back because she knows the issue nearly always sorts itself out. Just like you as a daycare provider can feel miffed if/when parents don't trust your process, you couldn't blame her if she was upset by you telling her boss that she doesn't know how to do her job right? Now I would hope a grown woman wouldn't hold a grudge against a child but honestly now, if crap hits the fan with a parent, doesn't it mess with your head and put a damper on the whole working relationship?

I think it's only fair you give her the benefit of the doubt for a bit longer than a month. I'd personally shoot for that first report card and gauge his progress then. If he's learning, retaining and thriving - you may just need to suck it up and admit maybe she did know what she was doing after all (even if it goes against everything you'd do!). If however he's struggling academically, socially or in general just isn't making the progress you'd like to see - by all means do what you need to do as far as contacting her superiors for intervention.

Teachers have a myriad of different personalities and teaching styles and not all are going to jive with you and yours. That's ok!


I don't retrieve forgotten homework/projects/band instruments/gym shoes etc. Ever. I think it teaches there is an out for irresponsibility.

On a similar note, my oldest son, being of the timid variety, didn't like "loud" talkers or yelling coaches in early elementary school either. I was a calm SAHM, he did no preschool, and he was the youngest in his class. I used his encounters with such individuals to teach him that everyone is different. Maybe they didn't like the quieter way he talked. Or his fidgety ways. You can't expect people in the world to change for you just because you find them unpleasant. Nor can/will mommy make all those unpleasant people change or disappear. Tolerance and acceptance are awesome virtues, as is the confidence to know unpleasant traits in others aren't to be taken personally




(hope, my daughter is dyslexic and has missed recess many times for being unorganized and forgetting her homework. It's definitely not an effective technique for many kids and I personally think it's kind of cruel with how long children are expected to just sit throughout the day these days).

Willow, I do not think that taking away a child's recess time alone will solve the problem but I do think it can be used as a step towards a solution. My DD also has disabilities and organization and focus are a real challenge. I teach my children that no matter what challenges they have they can never use them as an excuse. They will have jobs some day with real responsibilities that will need to be accomplished by the end of the day, week or quarter. They will need to take care of all their responsibilities in that time line. So when my DD has forgotten her books at school and can not do her homework I do not find it cruel to expext her to do it the next day at recess. Same as I would not want her in the future to leave her job undone to go away on vacation. Now, I use this opportunity for her to brainstorm on ideas to help her get organized and focused so that it will not happen again in the future. If she was not held accountable then I dont see much reason for her to even try to become organized.
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daycarediva 10:16 AM 09-17-2015
Originally Posted by Play Care:
When my oldest DD went from K to 1st grade, all the sudden it seemed she had to be responsible for getting her things together each afternoon. As she has ADHD, and never had to do it previously, it was a nightmare I swear if I heard the teacher say "She's in FIRST grade now!" one more time...
Not a good year at all.

I'm actually LESS concerned about the supposed "yelling." Yelling is so subjective. I am from a large Italian family and tend to be loud. I never realized it wasn't normal until I started dating my husband in my mid-20's We would leave family gatherings and he would say "Don't they know they're in the same room?!" It's something I bring up during interviews because I don't want parents to think I'm a yeller. I'm not.
I also find that some kids have no idea of the difference between being firm and yelling. I think it's all this wishy washy parenting that we tend to complain about a lot on here Unless I saw it first hand I don't know I'd be in a rush to complain. I might be more inclined to volunteer in the class (you have staff, if I recall?) now and again to see first hand what's happening. It's really hard to hide it when you have a parent coming in to volunteer a few times a week...
Same here. I am loud. Italian/Cuban family. Our house is loud.

I think recess should NEVER be taken away. I know that seems odd, but outside time should be a right. It is in prison. It is in childcare. It should be in school.

Ds's )2nd grade) teacher this year gives them all 20 minutes of free play at the end of each day if they don't have a 'red incident' (behavior that requires more than one warning). They have a white erase checklist. (put items away in backpacks, notes home, etc) once that's done- they can PLAY! It has been SUPER easily for even ADHD ds to meet that expectation.
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Play Care 10:22 AM 09-17-2015
Originally Posted by daycarediva:
Same here. I am loud. Italian/Cuban family. Our house is loud.

I think recess should NEVER be taken away. I know that seems odd, but outside time should be a right. It is in prison. It is in childcare. It should be in school.

Ds's )2nd grade) teacher this year gives them all 20 minutes of free play at the end of each day if they don't have a 'red incident' (behavior that requires more than one warning). They have a white erase checklist. (put items away in backpacks, notes home, etc) once that's done- they can PLAY! It has been SUPER easily for even ADHD ds to meet that expectation.
Yes!! I feel that a lot of times when it comes to taking away recess, the punishment doesn't fit the "crime" no one should have to sit inside because they forgot to put a folder in the basket.

I would never use my dd's ADHD as an excuse but I darn well will point it out when I believe the teachers expectations are not meshing with reality. It takes a few weeks to learn a new class system and kids need to be taught what that system is.
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spinnymarie 10:23 AM 09-17-2015
Originally Posted by daycare:
my love my love my love.....

where are you getting this wonderful information from.
I want to know too! My daughter is almost 7, I thought I was going crazy!!
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Annalee 10:31 AM 09-17-2015
Originally Posted by daycare:
My son is in the second grade

we are having HUGE issues with his teacher.

My son is VERY sensitive to yelling. The only place he hears it, is on the football field when he plays and practices.

Well this Teacher is a yeller. My son is scared to death of her to go to school. so we are having the daily I don't want to go to school. UGH


I have already emailed her about it and she assured me that she was not yelling, but was having issues getting the kids on to a routine and was using very stern voices. Ok I get it been there, but if you ask any of the kids, they will say she yells.

Ok I get it they are just back from summer, actually we are one month in. the kids are learning to adapt to new teacher, class and etc.

Well the yelling has settled a little, my son does not like his teacher and we are having a hard time finding a way to convince him that she is ok.

Then there is the issue of forgetting the daily homework folder to bring home and he is not the only one. Just this week 5 out of 6 kids that we know in his class forgot their homework more than once and its only Wednesday. I know because many of the kids in his class are also on his football team.

Well I emailed the teacher asking what the routine or expectation of the kids are when it comes to making sure that the homework folder is in their bag and going home. See last year the teacher organized it all and made sure it went home. This year the kids have to do it. the teacher still has not returned my email. This was Friday of last week.

well today when my son forgot his homework folder, I made my husband go back and get it. I made him ask the teacher my question and her response was the kids are not organized.

REALLY...... so then show them how to get organized and teach them what is expected. how can I reinforce anything with my child if I don't know what is expected of YOU or what they are expected to do. am I wrong for feeling like this??


what should I say to her so that I can help my son fix this. HELP......
I feel your pain! My boys are middle schoolers now but went thru and are still going thru the same process. Responsibility is part of the cirriculum and I agree to a certain point and age-group but it was difficult, in particular, from 1-4 grades. The kids would even get their name on the bad list if the parent didn't sign something or their homework folder was left at school. My kids were terrified if they ever forgot to have something signed or completed. I went in a couple times early in the morning so I could help them get their homework before school started and the teacher would tell me this is part of the new cirriculum????? It will get better but I still believe the core teaching/testing/expectations are rediculous!
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Willow 10:44 AM 09-17-2015
Originally Posted by hope:
Willow, I do not think that taking away a child's recess time alone will solve the problem but I do think it can be used as a step towards a solution. My DD also has disabilities and organization and focus are a real challenge. I teach my children that no matter what challenges they have they can never use them as an excuse. They will have jobs some day with real responsibilities that will need to be accomplished by the end of the day, week or quarter. They will need to take care of all their responsibilities in that time line. So when my DD has forgotten her books at school and can not do her homework I do not find it cruel to expext her to do it the next day at recess. Same as I would not want her in the future to leave her job undone to go away on vacation. Now, I use this opportunity for her to brainstorm on ideas to help her get organized and focused so that it will not happen again in the future. If she was not held accountable then I dont see much reason for her to even try to become organized.
Being dyslexic and chronically disorganized isn't a matter of not trying hard enough or dropping the ball as a parent. It's about a difference in the brain and brain chemistry that prevents such processes entirely. It's not an excuse, but you bet it's a very real and valid explanation.

I don't think she should be punished for those differences in the way her brain works.

She has and meets goals within the scope of her abilities, and that's ok. Indeed, she will need to find a career that suits her different abilities, and that's ok. Not everyone needs precision in life to function successfully.
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Blackcat31 10:57 AM 09-17-2015
Originally Posted by Willow:
Being dyslexic and chronically disorganized isn't a matter of not trying hard enough or dropping the ball as a parent. It's about a difference in the brain and brain chemistry that prevents such processes entirely. It's not an excuse, but you bet it's a very real and valid explanation.

I don't think she should be punished for those differences in the way her brain works.

She has and meets goals within the scope of her abilities, and that's ok. Indeed, she will need to find a career that suits her different abilities, and that's ok. Not everyone needs precision in life to function successfully.
X 10000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

My DS struggled all the way through school because he had issues with organization, remembering things that came easily for others and was "punished" accordingly.

Needless to say, his self-esteem plummeted. Right at that time in your life when you are just figuring out what that is and why it's important.

The "lesson" my son learned was he was not a good person and something MUST be wrong if he couldn't do something as simple as remember his Tuesday folder like the other kids did. He spent a lot of time in detention. Separated from the other kids and plunged into the middle of the kids that DID have behavioral issues verses learning or processing issues.

FWIW ~ My DS has an IQ of over 120. He WAS/IS one of the smartest, most intelligent people I know. He simply learned how to get from A to B in a different way than others.
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BabyMonkeys 12:57 PM 09-17-2015
Originally Posted by Play Care:
I'm actually LESS concerned about the supposed "yelling." Yelling is so subjective. I am from a large Italian family and tend to be loud. I never realized it wasn't normal until I started dating my husband in my mid-20's We would leave family gatherings and he would say "Don't they know they're in the same room?!" It's something I bring up during interviews because I don't want parents to think I'm a yeller. I'm not.
Too funny! I'm an only child from a quiet family. My husband is Puerto Rico and has a HUGE family. I thought that a family was a mom, dad and their children, anyone else is a relative. His family consists of anyone and every one that the have ever met.

In my house on the rare occasion someone was yelling, they were MAD! I don't speak Spanish, and whenever we would go over there I was scared to death. The scream at each other constantly and gesture wildly when they speak. I thought someone was going to start throwing punches all the time.

20 years later and I KNOW that they aren't fighting, but it still makes me uncomfortable. Thankfully they have learned my triggers and attempt to calm down a bit around me. I'm constantly telling my husband when he is on the phone to stop screaming. I'm pretty sure they could hear you a mile away without the phone!

I am going to go against most of the advice you have received so far and say that I think that the yelling IS a big deal. I'm not sure if it is something that your son's teacher will be able to correct though. Some people are just yellers, even when they don't mean to be. It is early enough in the year that I would seriously consider asking to have him transferred to another teacher. Your son should look forward to going to school and learning new things. If he dreads going to school because his teacher yelling is upsetting to him, he isn't getting the education he deserves.
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daycare 01:08 PM 09-17-2015
Originally Posted by hope:
Willow, I do not think that taking away a child's recess time alone will solve the problem but I do think it can be used as a step towards a solution. My DD also has disabilities and organization and focus are a real challenge. I teach my children that no matter what challenges they have they can never use them as an excuse. They will have jobs some day with real responsibilities that will need to be accomplished by the end of the day, week or quarter. They will need to take care of all their responsibilities in that time line. So when my DD has forgotten her books at school and can not do her homework I do not find it cruel to expext her to do it the next day at recess. Same as I would not want her in the future to leave her job undone to go away on vacation. Now, I use this opportunity for her to brainstorm on ideas to help her get organized and focused so that it will not happen again in the future. If she was not held accountable then I dont see much reason for her to even try to become organized.
they can't take away recess any ways. Against school rules.

there is more I have not told you

She is older, late 50s she cant' handle this class. I am convinced. every day since school has started they are late coming out for after school pick up. as much as 10-15 min. We have complained about it to her and she said that the kids are so unruly that she can't get them together on time. It sounds like to me she has no classroom management skills for kids of this generation. She is way old school.

Every day my son is not getting to each hardly any of his lunch because again, they are late to lunch do to behavior issues. I know it's not my son causing them, they send home a daily behavior progress chart where the teacher gives them a number from 0 to 8, 8 being the best and my son always has a 6, 7 or 8.

I do know however many of the other kids and some of them do have very out spoken personalities, but parents that would not deal with bad behavior.

As we all know parents of today's kids are much different than parents of kids even just 6-10 years ago.

I don't agree that yelling is ok. It is her responsibility to provide a safe environment for all children in her class and she is not doing that. My dad is hearing impaired, he has hearing aides, has his whole life, so my family talks loud. It took me a long time to learn to turn it down lol.

If she can't make her students feel safe in her class either my son needs to be moved and all of the other kids that are scared to death of her or she needs to learn to chill out......
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daycare 01:12 PM 09-17-2015
I think most of the issue i have is the yelling, but I am also upset that she still has not answered my email asking what the homework routine is so that I can help reinforce it. It's what we would want out DCP to do to right?

Last night was back to school night and she was not there. and I know why. because at football last night about 7 parents with students that are in her class are fired up and were ready to ask tons of questions that they have also emailed to her that she has not responded.

we all agree that she is scared of what everyone is going to say and I guess if I were her I would be scared to face them all at once too. it's like facing a firing squad.

i don't want to rattle anything and make the situation worse. I am trying to be patient and work it out, I just don't know what else to do if she won't answer my emails or talk with me via phone.
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BabyMonkeys 01:20 PM 09-17-2015
Originally Posted by daycare:
i don't want to rattle anything and make the situation worse. I am trying to be patient and work it out, I just don't know what else to do if she won't answer my emails or talk with me via phone.
I'm going to respectfully disagree and say that I think that you SHOULD NOT be patient. You are right, it IS the schools responsibility to provide an environment that children feel safe. Every day that something is not done to correct the problem is a day that your son is scared and not learning as much as he could. Even if she was a great teacher, which I highly doubt given your comments, she may not be the right teacher for YOUR son. I would call the principle and have him transferred. He's your son..you know him better than anyone. Don't let potentially offending the teacher impact your doing what you know is best.
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hope 01:21 PM 09-17-2015
Originally Posted by daycare:
I think most of the issue i have is the yelling, but I am also upset that she still has not answered my email asking what the homework routine is so that I can help reinforce it. It's what we would want out DCP to do to right?

Last night was back to school night and she was not there. and I know why. because at football last night about 7 parents with students that are in her class are fired up and were ready to ask tons of questions that they have also emailed to her that she has not responded.

we all agree that she is scared of what everyone is going to say and I guess if I were her I would be scared to face them all at once too. it's like facing a firing squad.

i don't want to rattle anything and make the situation worse. I am trying to be patient and work it out, I just don't know what else to do if she won't answer my emails or talk with me via phone.
How long ago did you email her? I think skipping out on back to school night os skipping out of a big part of her job. Maybe (hoping) she does have a reasonable excuse and it's not what you think. I would be asking to speak with the principal at this point and forward all emails to her.
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daycare 01:28 PM 09-17-2015
Originally Posted by hope:
How long ago did you email her? I think skipping out on back to school night os skipping out of a big part of her job. Maybe (hoping) she does have a reasonable excuse and it's not what you think. I would be asking to speak with the principal at this point and forward all emails to her.
i emailed her last Thursday. i was very nice about it. I just asked if she could let me know what the end of the day homework routine was becuase my son seems to be unclear about it and that he is forgetting his homework folder daily. My son is border line OCD organized, but for him it's a new routine and it sounds like it is just not clear to him. Or any of the other kids from what i hear, but I did not say that to her and am only focusing on my child. I am not talking to her about the other kids or saying I know anything else from other parents. even though I do,
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daycare 01:30 PM 09-17-2015
Originally Posted by angelw2babies:
I'm going to respectfully disagree and say that I think that you SHOULD NOT be patient. You are right, it IS the schools responsibility to provide an environment that children feel safe. Every day that something is not done to correct the problem is a day that your son is scared and not learning as much as he could. Even if she was a great teacher, which I highly doubt given your comments, she may not be the right teacher for YOUR son. I would call the principle and have him transferred. He's your son..you know him better than anyone. Don't let potentially offending the teacher impact your doing what you know is best.
lol this is what my older son said to me who is 20. He said mom if that were me you would have already been to the principal, what are you waiting for.
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childcaremom 01:47 PM 09-17-2015
Originally Posted by daycare:
I think most of the issue i have is the yelling, but I am also upset that she still has not answered my email asking what the homework routine is so that I can help reinforce it. It's what we would want out DCP to do to right?

Last night was back to school night and she was not there. and I know why. because at football last night about 7 parents with students that are in her class are fired up and were ready to ask tons of questions that they have also emailed to her that she has not responded.

we all agree that she is scared of what everyone is going to say and I guess if I were her I would be scared to face them all at once too. it's like facing a firing squad.

i don't want to rattle anything and make the situation worse. I am trying to be patient and work it out, I just don't know what else to do if she won't answer my emails or talk with me via phone.
I thought you had heard back from her already.... changes my thinking a bit.

I would email her again, tonight. Explain that you are trying to help you son be successful, wondering what the routine is, etc. If you don't hear back from her, call tomorrow and leave a message for her. Then..... if no response, Monday afternoon I would be speaking to the principal.

I would try to approach it friendly... because as you said, she does not want to be on the defensive, but at the same time, you need some answers.

A month in, this needs to get solved.
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spud912 01:49 PM 09-17-2015
I think the biggest problem from what I gather is your son's teacher's lack of communication. I agree that yelling can be left up to interpretation, and considering the fact that your son is already hyper-sensitive to it, it may not be as bad as what he is alluding to. I would take the suggestion from others and volunteer in the class to see what is truly going on. As far as the homework, I do believe that second grade is old enough to remember the homework and/or suffer some consequences if it is forgotten. Teachers are given so much material to go over in such a small amount of time, they are limited on the amount of free time they can allot for doing homework that should have been done the prior day. My dd's school doesn't give students the opportunity to "make up" incomplete homework. Instead, they are given half credit for the first day it is missing and no credit for the second day it is missing. I think asking for suggestions on organization was a great idea on your behalf though .... it's definitely unfortunate she never responded.

I personally would let a week pass from the time I sent an email and then send another one (or call her direct line if possible) asking if the first email was received. If I don't get a response within 2 more days, then I would take it up the ladder and ask a principal if there are other ways to communicate with your ds's teacher since she is not responding to email.
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daycare 01:52 PM 09-17-2015
Originally Posted by childcaremom:
I thought you had heard back from her already.... changes my thinking a bit.

I would email her again, tonight. Explain that you are trying to help you son be successful, wondering what the routine is, etc. If you don't hear back from her, call tomorrow and leave a message for her. Then..... if no response, Monday afternoon I would be speaking to the principal.

I would try to approach it friendly... because as you said, she does not want to be on the defensive, but at the same time, you need some answers.

A month in, this needs to get solved.
no, she did not email me back. what happened was my son got home and I said right away where is your folder he open his bag, no folder. thankfully we are very close to the school so I had dad take him back to the school and go get it. at that time my husband asked her what the routine was and she only said that all of the kids are unorganized.
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daycare 01:56 PM 09-17-2015
Originally Posted by spud912:
I think the biggest problem from what I gather is your son's teacher's lack of communication. I agree that yelling can be left up to interpretation, and considering the fact that your son is already hyper-sensitive to it, it may not be as bad as what he is alluding to. I would take the suggestion from others and volunteer in the class to see what is truly going on. As far as the homework, I do believe that second grade is old enough to remember the homework and/or suffer some consequences if it is forgotten. Teachers are given so much material to go over in such a small amount of time, they are limited on the amount of free time they can allot for doing homework that should have been done the prior day. My dd's school doesn't give students the opportunity to "make up" incomplete homework. Instead, they are given half credit for the first day it is missing and no credit for the second day it is missing. I think asking for suggestions on organization was a great idea on your behalf though .... it's definitely unfortunate she never responded.

I personally would let a week pass from the time I sent an email and then send another one (or call her direct line if possible) asking if the first email was received. If I don't get a response within 2 more days, then I would take it up the ladder and ask a principal if there are other ways to communicate with your ds's teacher since she is not responding to email.
the only reason I know she does yell for sure is that all of the other kids said she does too. what i didn't realize is that a few years back, kinder year for my son I was volunteering and waiting for his teacher.

as i am waiting for the kinder teacher to get back from the library with the kids I can hear a classroom coming around the corner. All I hear is this teacher yelling at the kids, saying stuff like how horrible their line is, what are you guys babies and etc. I was in complete shock. I had no clue who this teacher was at the time. She came around the corner and saw me and had that oh crap look on her face.

well I didn't realize that was my sons teacher until the 2nd week of school when i did a morning drop off and met her. so I know that she does yell at the kids.
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spud912 02:03 PM 09-17-2015
Originally Posted by daycare:
the only reason I know she does yell for sure is that all of the other kids said she does too. what i didn't realize is that a few years back, kinder year for my son I was volunteering and waiting for his teacher.

as i am waiting for the kinder teacher to get back from the library with the kids I can hear a classroom coming around the corner. All I hear is this teacher yelling at the kids, saying stuff like how horrible their line is, what are you guys babies and etc. I was in complete shock. I had no clue who this teacher was at the time. She came around the corner and saw me and had that oh crap look on her face.

well I didn't realize that was my sons teacher until the 2nd week of school when i did a morning drop off and met her. so I know that she does yell at the kids.
Well that is a bummer you ended up with her of all teachers. Unfortunately, some people were just not cut out for handling children. If that is the case, I would look for a specific time she lost her temper and belittled the children and bring it up with the principal when you discuss the lack of communication. She obviously has issues with communicating with parents AND children .
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daycare 02:07 PM 09-17-2015
Originally Posted by spud912:
Well that is a bummer you ended up with her of all teachers. Unfortunately, some people were just not cut out for handling children. If that is the case, I would look for a specific time she lost her temper and belittled the children and bring it up with the principal when you discuss the lack of communication. She obviously has issues with communicating with parents AND children .
thinking about it. I just looked at the school website and last year she taught 4th grade. so perhaps she is the one not adjusting to the younger kids. Not saying that it's ok that she yells, but just a thought. that's a big difference?? no?? yes??
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spud912 02:14 PM 09-17-2015
Originally Posted by daycare:
thinking about it. I just looked at the school website and last year she taught 4th grade. so perhaps she is the one not adjusting to the younger kids. Not saying that it's ok that she yells, but just a thought. that's a big difference?? no?? yes??
I don't think there is any reason to yell all the time to the kids. I'm not saying there is never an appropriate time....I think when children are so loud they can't hear over you, it's ok to raise your voice long enough to get their attention, but not with any frequency.
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childcaremom 02:26 PM 09-17-2015
Originally Posted by daycare:
the only reason I know she does yell for sure is that all of the other kids said she does too. what i didn't realize is that a few years back, kinder year for my son I was volunteering and waiting for his teacher.

as i am waiting for the kinder teacher to get back from the library with the kids I can hear a classroom coming around the corner. All I hear is this teacher yelling at the kids, saying stuff like how horrible their line is, what are you guys babies and etc. I was in complete shock. I had no clue who this teacher was at the time. She came around the corner and saw me and had that oh crap look on her face.

well I didn't realize that was my sons teacher until the 2nd week of school when i did a morning drop off and met her. so I know that she does yell at the kids.



yelling or not I would not want a teacher talking to any children that way.
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daycare 03:02 PM 09-17-2015
Originally Posted by childcaremom:


yelling or not I would not want a teacher talking to any children that way.
I agree that is a horrible way to talk to anyone kids or adults.
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BabyMonkeys 08:02 AM 09-25-2015
Did you guys get the teacher situation figured out?
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daycare 09:04 AM 09-25-2015
Originally Posted by angelw2babies:
Did you guys get the teacher situation figured out?
we actually did work something out this past Tuesday, but it was not pretty and i am still very baffled by her responses.

She could not explain her homework routine to me. She tried, but it made zero sense. i told her I am 41 years old and I don't even understand it, how do you expect for 7-8yr old kids to understand. basically it sounds like the teacher is just a HOT MESS. sorry, i am not picking on her, but that's what it seems like.

I did find out that she used to teach 6th grade in the past. This is her 2nd year as a 2nd grade teacher. When the common core came out, she could not adapt to teach it to the 6th graders, so the school moved her to second grade.

any questions I had she could not answer. I made simple suggestions that I honestly thought were common sense and she acted like it was the best idea in the world. In the end after an hour conversation and her crying, I agreed to come in and volunteer in the classroom at the end of each day to help her. She said the kids are so out of control and she just wants to get them out the door. UGH I can feel for her, but I realized she just does not have an behavior management skills at all.

so starting next week I will go in for the last 15 min of class to help her. We shall see how it goes.

thanks for asking
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Annalee 10:05 AM 09-25-2015
Originally Posted by daycare:
we actually did work something out this past Tuesday, but it was not pretty and i am still very baffled by her responses.

She could not explain her homework routine to me. She tried, but it made zero sense. i told her I am 41 years old and I don't even understand it, how do you expect for 7-8yr old kids to understand. basically it sounds like the teacher is just a HOT MESS. sorry, i am not picking on her, but that's what it seems like.

I did find out that she used to teach 6th grade in the past. This is her 2nd year as a 2nd grade teacher. When the common core came out, she could not adapt to teach it to the 6th graders, so the school moved her to second grade.

any questions I had she could not answer. I made simple suggestions that I honestly thought were common sense and she acted like it was the best idea in the world. In the end after an hour conversation and her crying, I agreed to come in and volunteer in the classroom at the end of each day to help her. She said the kids are so out of control and she just wants to get them out the door. UGH I can feel for her, but I realized she just does not have an behavior management skills at all.

so starting next week I will go in for the last 15 min of class to help her. We shall see how it goes.

thanks for asking
Shifting teachers has become the norm here as well due to common core issues???? The whole system baffles me so I am sure the teachers and the kids are feeling the effects of the changes as well.
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hope 10:11 AM 09-25-2015
Daycare, that is great that you are able to volunteer your time and help out. It will give you some great insight. Would be better if the teacher was able to handle it herself but since that is not the case, very sweet of you!

I have never heard of teachers getti g moved between grades like this. If a teacher is having trouble with 6th graders, why fo they think she woulf be better suited for 2nd graders? I really don't understand.
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Annalee 10:14 AM 09-25-2015
Originally Posted by hope:
Daycare, that is great that you are able to volunteer your time and help out. It will give you some great insight. Would be better if the teacher was able to handle it herself but since that is not the case, very sweet of you!

I have never heard of teachers getti g moved between grades like this. If a teacher is having trouble with 6th graders, why fo they think she woulf be better suited for 2nd graders? I really don't understand.
They shift teachers in my state to keep the "scores" for each grade like they want them. There is a "testing system" here that assesses teachers and it is tied in with common core as well which is difficult for all students to achieve....so to counteract the possible negative test scores they shift the teachers around to help the overall school's scores....that confused me typing that but I think I explained what is happening in my state.
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KiddieCahoots 11:08 AM 09-25-2015
My DS is in 2nd grade too. His teacher has been teaching 4th grade for yrs and is teaching 2nd grade for the first time. Same thing here with the dang homework folders, my son keeps forgetting them. Like pp, it's got to be part of the curriculum with teaching independence/responsibilities. His teacher is allowing us to make up the work though, so my son gets hit with extra homework the following night. That's not fun either, but at least the cause fits the effect.
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