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Old 04-12-2012, 02:26 PM
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spud912 spud912 is offline
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Default Potty Training My DD Who Won't Go Pee in Potty....Sassysue and others

I posted in another topic about the 4 year old wearing undies but did not want to side-rail the post.

My dd just turned 3 and is extremely stubborn with potty training. I've tried many times and many different ways, but she still has not ever peed or pooped in the potty. She is more than capable to potty train (can verbalize her needs, goes for extended periods of time without soiling her diaper including overnight, tells me when she needs to be changed, knows when she needs to poop as she will go hide in a corner, can undress and redress herself with ease and washes her hands by herself, can climb on the toilet herself, etc.). Unfortunately, she has knowingly let this become a power struggle. She has always battled me changing diapers and now sitting on the potty and wearing panties. I have tried everything from bribes to just taking her.

I have had many people tell me to just lay off and let her tell me when she is ready, but I can assure you that I know her personality well and she will always fight anything to do with her bowel and urination habits. She does not like to be interrupted from any activity, especially when it is something mundane like personal hygiene.

Anyway, Sassysue mentioned in the other post to just take her at the regular potty times and put her in panties. I initiated her idea immediately and put her in thick cotton panties with plastic pants and I put her on the potty every time I change her. The first time, she fought me like normal and the second time I was very surprised because she didn't fight me. Then after she got down, she even asked to try again, which was great! I know she won't keep it up, but I think with consistency, she will improve with fighting me.

The main issue I have is how do I get her to actually pee on the potty? She has NEVER even came close. In the past, we (as in my husband and I) would put her on the potty for 15 minutes or so when we know she had to go. She will hold it in until she gets her panties or diaper back on, to which she doesn't care if they get soiled. Is there some trick to doing this? Should I just take a weekend and let her run around naked? Suggestions please?!
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Old 04-12-2012, 02:39 PM
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bice99 bice99 is offline
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When I was just a mommy and didn't run a DC, I sat with my girls and read books, sang songs, let them play with my hair, etc. Anything I could do to distract them. Sometimes they try to push the pee out, and that just doesn't work. It worked well for pooping as well. Our older DD always pooped before bed, so some nights I would be up sitting on the floor of her bathroom while she played with my hair for what seemed like forever. She only dropped the comb in the toilet once
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Old 04-12-2012, 02:45 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by spud912 View Post
I posted in another topic about the 4 year old wearing undies but did not want to side-rail the post.

My dd just turned 3 and is extremely stubborn with potty training. I've tried many times and many different ways, but she still has not ever peed or pooped in the potty. She is more than capable to potty train (can verbalize her needs, goes for extended periods of time without soiling her diaper including overnight, tells me when she needs to be changed, knows when she needs to poop as she will go hide in a corner, can undress and redress herself with ease and washes her hands by herself, can climb on the toilet herself, etc.). Unfortunately, she has knowingly let this become a power struggle. She has always battled me changing diapers and now sitting on the potty and wearing panties. I have tried everything from bribes to just taking her.

I have had many people tell me to just lay off and let her tell me when she is ready, but I can assure you that I know her personality well and she will always fight anything to do with her bowel and urination habits. She does not like to be interrupted from any activity, especially when it is something mundane like personal hygiene.

Anyway, Sassysue mentioned in the other post to just take her at the regular potty times and put her in panties. I initiated her idea immediately and put her in thick cotton panties with plastic pants and I put her on the potty every time I change her. The first time, she fought me like normal and the second time I was very surprised because she didn't fight me. Then after she got down, she even asked to try again, which was great! I know she won't keep it up, but I think with consistency, she will improve with fighting me.

The main issue I have is how do I get her to actually pee on the potty? She has NEVER even came close. In the past, we (as in my husband and I) would put her on the potty for 15 minutes or so when we know she had to go. She will hold it in until she gets her panties or diaper back on, to which she doesn't care if they get soiled. Is there some trick to doing this? Should I just take a weekend and let her run around naked? Suggestions please?!
I definately think you are on the right track! The first one is always the hardest! If you can take a weekend to dedicate to watching her so you can catch the peepee dance and stick her on the pot immediately it will help. It sounds like she hasnt figured out that she has control of those muscles. Once she figures that out she will be a pro!

With one of mine i put a potty chair on a towel in the middle of the livingroom and then I could watch her and the potty was 2 feet away to catch her mid trickle! At this point, if you get one 1 drop in the toilet and the 97% is on the floor. Praise her and then you can work on getting it all in.
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Old 04-12-2012, 03:52 PM
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I know that sometimes making the bathroom colder and running some water from the faucet works. You might try that.
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Old 04-12-2012, 06:42 PM
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Thanks everyone! I really thought I had her earlier. She kept saying something about needing to poop, but it turns out she just had a lot of gas to release. Darn it! The plus side is that she is not fighting sitting on the potty nearly as much as I expected (I am more matter of fact with her than my normal militant "you will go potty" attitude).
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Old 04-13-2012, 10:58 AM
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If she does poop in her pants, go help her dump it into the toilet and flush. Again, matter-of-fact like you're doing. "Oh, gosh, we don't want that in your pretty panties. Let's go dump it in the toilet where it belongs".

I don't know what your licensing laws are there regarding the whole dumping-of-poop out of underwear, but I think you could do over the weekend, at least, if the opportunity comes up. It will reinforce your message.

Is there something "big girl" you know she'd like to have? Maybe after she has gotten a little success, you could say something like. "You know, I can see you're really getting to be a big girl. I think perhaps you are ready for a big girl xx now". (or a movie, or an ice cream cone with daddy?), or if she doesn't have any "cool" underwear, maybe she could pick some?

Don't tie it into the potty thing as a bribe (don't tell her ahead of time), just use it as another reinforcement. Big girl responsibilities=big girl fun!
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