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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>OMG - 2-Year-Old "Touching Himself" While Potty-Training!
hsdcmama 04:48 AM 09-24-2014
So the 2-year-old has begun using potty time as a time to to "pleasure himself". He seriously gives himself a stiffy and then ends up peeing all over the floor! 
I have tried to explain to him that we don't do that, don't play with it, just leave it alone, etc. but he just won't stop! He won't go pee if I am in the room, we will end up just sitting there for 10 minutes until I leave; and then he does this. It's pretty disturbing.
I have tried to explain to him that we don't do that, don't play with it, just leave it alone, etc. but he just won't stop! He won't go pee if I am in the room, we will end up just sitting there for 10 minutes until I leave; and then he does this. It's pretty disturbing.
Heidi 05:00 AM 09-24-2014
STOP!!!!
He just found a new toy. Please, don't shame him, and don't freak out. Just focus on where he pees (we pee IN the toilet). Maybe throw cheerios in there to sink, if you think that'll work.
Then, be matter-of-fact about the other part. "Please hurry, your friends are waiting to use the bathroom", "ok, time's up, if you haven't gone pee yet, we'll have to try again later. Right now, it's time for lunch"
I'd also stick to more "hey, dude, it's not private time in here. It's potty time. Go potty and let's go play..move it along!"
Is he still in pull-ups?
He just found a new toy. Please, don't shame him, and don't freak out. Just focus on where he pees (we pee IN the toilet). Maybe throw cheerios in there to sink, if you think that'll work.
Then, be matter-of-fact about the other part. "Please hurry, your friends are waiting to use the bathroom", "ok, time's up, if you haven't gone pee yet, we'll have to try again later. Right now, it's time for lunch"
I'd also stick to more "hey, dude, it's not private time in here. It's potty time. Go potty and let's go play..move it along!"
Is he still in pull-ups?
coolconfidentme 05:01 AM 09-24-2014
Originally Posted by hsdcmama:
So the 2-year-old has begun using potty time as a time to to "pleasure himself". He seriously gives himself a stiffy and then ends up peeing all over the floor! I have tried to explain to him that we don't do that, don't play with it, just leave it alone, etc. but he just won't stop! He won't go pee if I am in the room, we will end up just sitting there for 10 minutes until I leave; and then he does this. It's pretty disturbing.
What is your potty training policy? So the 2-year-old has begun using potty time as a time to to "pleasure himself". He seriously gives himself a stiffy and then ends up peeing all over the floor!
I have tried to explain to him that we don't do that, don't play with it, just leave it alone, etc. but he just won't stop! He won't go pee if I am in the room, we will end up just sitting there for 10 minutes until I leave; and then he does this. It's pretty disturbing.As a provider, the child does not pee in the potty. Period. Tell mom he goes back to diapers until she corrects the situation.
hsdcmama 06:03 AM 09-24-2014
Heidi, I am not shaming him at all. I know it's a natural point of curiosity, but I cannot allow him to continue stiffening himself up and peeing all over my floor like it's a game. He started out doing pretty well with potty training; his parents put him in underwear during the day and Pull-Ups at night. He was starting to get the idea really well, and then I went on vacation for a week. I come back, and they've got the kid in Pull-Ups full-time. Since then, he has shown zero interest in using the potty. Like, ZERO. He will not tell me at all -- ever -- if he needs to go. He will just go in the Pull-Up and not tell me. Then I will ask him if he needs to go potty, and he will say no, but I will make him go anyway because I know it's about time. Then he will say, "Sorry", and I know he's gone in his Pull-Up and not told me.
I have him go to the bathroom about every couple hours or so, especially right at drop-off, before lunch, before nap, etc. If he doesn't feel like it, he will sit on the potty and hold his pee, then unload in his Pull-Up as soon as he gets up.
It seems to me like the parents had the right idea at the beginning, started out strong, but just got lazy and decided Pull-Ups were easier than continuing with the underwear. When he was in underwear, he could go all day without an accident, maybe 1 or 2 if he was playing and didn't notice he had to go. And when he did have an accident, I would notice right away and we could take care of it right then & there. A Pull-Up is nothing but a glorified diaper, so when he pees in it I have no idea until I make him go potty. I'm thinking of telling the parents to bring me underwear instead of Pull-Ups, and they need to use underwear at home so we are all on the same page. This just isn't going to work if I do it one way here and they do another thing at home. Either that, or if they cannot commit to actually potty-training him for real, he needs to go back into diapers until they are ready to commit to it.
I have him go to the bathroom about every couple hours or so, especially right at drop-off, before lunch, before nap, etc. If he doesn't feel like it, he will sit on the potty and hold his pee, then unload in his Pull-Up as soon as he gets up.
It seems to me like the parents had the right idea at the beginning, started out strong, but just got lazy and decided Pull-Ups were easier than continuing with the underwear. When he was in underwear, he could go all day without an accident, maybe 1 or 2 if he was playing and didn't notice he had to go. And when he did have an accident, I would notice right away and we could take care of it right then & there. A Pull-Up is nothing but a glorified diaper, so when he pees in it I have no idea until I make him go potty. I'm thinking of telling the parents to bring me underwear instead of Pull-Ups, and they need to use underwear at home so we are all on the same page. This just isn't going to work if I do it one way here and they do another thing at home. Either that, or if they cannot commit to actually potty-training him for real, he needs to go back into diapers until they are ready to commit to it.
craftymissbeth 06:16 AM 09-24-2014
The biggest thing I'm seeing from your post is that he's not ready for potty training. If you have to make him sit on the toilet and he still won't go and still prefers to unload in a Pull-Up then it's time to back off and try again in a few months.
ETA: why would you want an unpotty trained kid in underwear??? You're seriously just going to create more work for yourself... you'll be cleaning pee puddles all day. Also, if you prefer diapers to pull-ups then just tell them. You said so yourself.. they're just glorified diapers. Therefore there's no difference other than the ease at which the kids can pull them up and down. I prefer them for that reason, but I know many providers despise pull-ups.
ETA: why would you want an unpotty trained kid in underwear??? You're seriously just going to create more work for yourself... you'll be cleaning pee puddles all day. Also, if you prefer diapers to pull-ups then just tell them. You said so yourself.. they're just glorified diapers. Therefore there's no difference other than the ease at which the kids can pull them up and down. I prefer them for that reason, but I know many providers despise pull-ups.
hsdcmama 07:24 AM 09-24-2014
Originally Posted by craftymissbeth:
ETA: why would you want an unpotty trained kid in underwear???
When I potty-trained my own kids, I put them right in underwear so it made them uncomfortable when they peed/pooped in it, and it gave them more motivation to use the potty. I don't mind cleaning up occasional accidents as long as the kid is ready and mostly potty-trained by the time they come here in underwear (which this kid was until I went on vacation & the parents put him in Pull Ups full time). In my own experience, it speeds up the process naturally since the kid sees that his options are 1) Learn to use the potty, or 2) End up with pee running down my legs. If a child is really ready to use the potty, they will choose option 1. ETA: why would you want an unpotty trained kid in underwear???
I get your concern though, as this method definitely does not work if the parents are not on board 100%. I just figured that since that's what the parents started with, and it worked while they were doing it, then if they put him back in underwear this weekend and re-committed to it for the long term it would be fine. But from what I'm seeing now, this kid just does not give a crap. He just pooped in the Pull-Up about 10 minutes ago.
Blackcat31 08:06 AM 09-24-2014
Originally Posted by hsdcmama:
Heidi, I am not shaming him at all. I know it's a natural point of curiosity, but I cannot allow him to continue stiffening himself up and peeing all over my floor like it's a game. He started out doing pretty well with potty training; his parents put him in underwear during the day and Pull-Ups at night. He was starting to get the idea really well, and then I went on vacation for a week. I come back, and they've got the kid in Pull-Ups full-time. Since then, he has shown zero interest in using the potty. Like, ZERO. He will not tell me at all -- ever -- if he needs to go. He will just go in the Pull-Up and not tell me. Then I will ask him if he needs to go potty, and he will say no, but I will make him go anyway because I know it's about time. Then he will say, "Sorry", and I know he's gone in his Pull-Up and not told me.
I have him go to the bathroom about every couple hours or so, especially right at drop-off, before lunch, before nap, etc. If he doesn't feel like it, he will sit on the potty and hold his pee, then unload in his Pull-Up as soon as he gets up.
It seems to me like the parents had the right idea at the beginning, started out strong, but just got lazy and decided Pull-Ups were easier than continuing with the underwear. When he was in underwear, he could go all day without an accident, maybe 1 or 2 if he was playing and didn't notice he had to go. And when he did have an accident, I would notice right away and we could take care of it right then & there. A Pull-Up is nothing but a glorified diaper, so when he pees in it I have no idea until I make him go potty. I'm thinking of telling the parents to bring me underwear instead of Pull-Ups, and they need to use underwear at home so we are all on the same page. This just isn't going to work if I do it one way here and they do another thing at home. Either that, or if they cannot commit to actually potty-training him for real, he needs to go back into diapers until they are ready to commit to it.
This is going to sound kinda ignorant/weird... but being a female (I have no actual way of knowing the validity of this or not) .......but I was always under the impression that males cannot actually urinate when they are "stiff" Heidi, I am not shaming him at all. I know it's a natural point of curiosity, but I cannot allow him to continue stiffening himself up and peeing all over my floor like it's a game. He started out doing pretty well with potty training; his parents put him in underwear during the day and Pull-Ups at night. He was starting to get the idea really well, and then I went on vacation for a week. I come back, and they've got the kid in Pull-Ups full-time. Since then, he has shown zero interest in using the potty. Like, ZERO. He will not tell me at all -- ever -- if he needs to go. He will just go in the Pull-Up and not tell me. Then I will ask him if he needs to go potty, and he will say no, but I will make him go anyway because I know it's about time. Then he will say, "Sorry", and I know he's gone in his Pull-Up and not told me.
I have him go to the bathroom about every couple hours or so, especially right at drop-off, before lunch, before nap, etc. If he doesn't feel like it, he will sit on the potty and hold his pee, then unload in his Pull-Up as soon as he gets up.
It seems to me like the parents had the right idea at the beginning, started out strong, but just got lazy and decided Pull-Ups were easier than continuing with the underwear. When he was in underwear, he could go all day without an accident, maybe 1 or 2 if he was playing and didn't notice he had to go. And when he did have an accident, I would notice right away and we could take care of it right then & there. A Pull-Up is nothing but a glorified diaper, so when he pees in it I have no idea until I make him go potty. I'm thinking of telling the parents to bring me underwear instead of Pull-Ups, and they need to use underwear at home so we are all on the same page. This just isn't going to work if I do it one way here and they do another thing at home. Either that, or if they cannot commit to actually potty-training him for real, he needs to go back into diapers until they are ready to commit to it.
Anyways..... I would stop trying to train him. If he thinks this is all just a game, then he is telling you he isn't ready for potty training.
He may have caught on in the beginning because it was new and interesting but now, the novelty has worn off and his actions are clearly saying he is not ready or willing.
It's more fun to "get to know himself" right now so maybe once he has past that phase he'll take training more seriously and actually WANT to go instead of "playing" instead.
Soccermom 08:26 AM 09-24-2014
What about maybe trying to offer him a book or toy to occupy his hands while he is on the potty?
I had a DCG who would take a handful of toilet paper and masturbate with it while on the potty... I would keep telling her that she was dry enough now, that she had to wait until she peed to wipe, we only need to wipe twice and then put the paper in the potty but she would make such a scene and scream that she needed toilet paper that it was affecting the training itself.
I put together a potty time basket and would allow her to choose something from it while she was on the potty. She was happy to play with a toy or book instead of cry that she needed toilet paper. She still "overwiped" afterwards but it was much more tolerable.
Although it is completely natural to begin exploring themselves at this age, it makes me so uncomfortable LOL
I had a DCG who would take a handful of toilet paper and masturbate with it while on the potty...
I would keep telling her that she was dry enough now, that she had to wait until she peed to wipe, we only need to wipe twice and then put the paper in the potty but she would make such a scene and scream that she needed toilet paper that it was affecting the training itself. I put together a potty time basket and would allow her to choose something from it while she was on the potty. She was happy to play with a toy or book instead of cry that she needed toilet paper. She still "overwiped" afterwards but it was much more tolerable.
Although it is completely natural to begin exploring themselves at this age, it makes me so uncomfortable LOL
AmyKidsCo 08:27 AM 09-24-2014
I had one who'd do this too - he'd play with it too much to ever pee. He ended up leaving before we got anywhere with potty training and now it's his grandparents' problem.
hsdcmama 10:29 AM 09-24-2014
Originally Posted by AmyKidsCo:
I had one who'd do this too - he'd play with it too much to ever pee. He ended up leaving before we got anywhere with potty training and now it's his grandparents' problem.
I think this is mostly what is happening, bc most of the time he doesn't actually pee, he just sits there getting himself hard. But then if he does stop long enough to pee, he is hard enough that it is still sticking up over the edge of the potty seat & it goes everywhere. We use a frog potty thats "eyes" are up high so it acts as a shield for the boys, but when they are sticking straight up, well... I had one who'd do this too - he'd play with it too much to ever pee. He ended up leaving before we got anywhere with potty training and now it's his grandparents' problem.
I think I'll tell dad today that I think he's just not ready, that he just sits there and plays with himself instead of actually using the potty, and that it would be best to wait a few months and try again later. Plus get some feedback to see if this is going on at home as well. Blackcat I think you are right that the novelty has worn off. He was not really interested to begin with; I think potty-training now was the parents' idea more than his own.
Heidi 10:40 AM 09-24-2014
So sorry! I misunderstood your "OMG".
I agree he's just not ready.
I agree he's just not ready.
melilley 11:17 AM 09-24-2014
I have a dcb who has this happen...as soon as he pulls down his pants to go to the bathroom, there it is. He pees every time too, but I'm not sure if it's still like that when he goes (I don't look). It's not his fault, it just happens ( I think I read somewhere that cold air can make that happen).
I agree, your dcb is not ready to potty train.
I agree, your dcb is not ready to potty train.
melilley 11:20 AM 09-24-2014
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
This is going to sound kinda ignorant/weird... but being a female (I have no actual way of knowing the validity of this or not) .......but I was always under the impression that males cannot actually urinate when they are "stiff"
I have a dcb who, as soon as he pulls down his pants, there it is! I can't even look so I can't tell for sure, but he does go pee every time, and right away so I assume it's still big.? This is going to sound kinda ignorant/weird... but being a female (I have no actual way of knowing the validity of this or not) .......but I was always under the impression that males cannot actually urinate when they are "stiff"
Maybe only adults can't pee when that happens?
Blackcat31 12:57 PM 09-24-2014
Originally Posted by melilley:
I have a dcb who, as soon as he pulls down his pants, there it is! I can't even look so I can't tell for sure, but he does go pee every time, and right away so I assume it's still big.?
Maybe only adults can't pee when that happens?
Dave? Dave? I have a dcb who, as soon as he pulls down his pants, there it is! I can't even look so I can't tell for sure, but he does go pee every time, and right away so I assume it's still big.?
Maybe only adults can't pee when that happens?
melilley 01:06 PM 09-24-2014
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
Dave? Dave?
Dave? Dave?
Oh where are you Dave?
hsdcmama 10:58 AM 09-25-2014
Spoke to mom & dad about it, dad said he hasn't been doing well w/ potty-training at home either. Mom admitted to them getting lazy about it after a while and not enforcing the issue, and has agreed to put him in underwear again this weekend and see how it goes. But she says she's having a hard time getting dad on board bc he doesn't stay on top of dcb like he should when she's not home. Mom said she made up a potty chart w/ a reward at the end for stickers in all the boxes, so I made up a chart for him here too. He got super, SUPER excited when he actually peed in the potty & got to put a sticker on. We'll see what they have to say come Monday...
coolconfidentme 01:18 PM 09-25-2014
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
This is going to sound kinda ignorant/weird... but being a female (I have no actual way of knowing the validity of this or not) .......but I was always under the impression that males cannot actually urinate when they are "stiff"
I just asked DCH.., he said you can, lol. This is going to sound kinda ignorant/weird... but being a female (I have no actual way of knowing the validity of this or not) .......but I was always under the impression that males cannot actually urinate when they are "stiff"
Unregistered 07:38 PM 09-25-2014
I smiled when I read the title and thought - don't they all?
I just remind to point it down, and that it is time for peeing with it, not playing with it.
I just remind to point it down, and that it is time for peeing with it, not playing with it.
dave4him 06:04 PM 11-08-2014
Oh dear! My four year old son seems to find himself with the same fascination..... its all normal at that age. Best thing to do is try some redirection.