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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Should I Tell Them?
Unregistered 03:25 PM 08-15-2011
I have had this dcg for about 4 months now. Dcg is almost 2 and we are entering "that" phase. I was sitting right by both of them today, baby in bouncer, when dcg walks up and tries to pinch baby, then a few minutes later, tries to hit baby. Of course I tell her "no, we don't hit" or pinch. I have not seen her do this before, but I am worried that it will get worse. She also threw a fit today and fell off of a little car toy outside, trapping one leg under it. I looked her over and she was fine, but this family is not the easiest to work with. Whenever I tell them ANYTHING but sunshine and roses, it's my fault. Even though they send her here with bruises (normal stuff for that age) and saying she was "having a really bad morning" meaning fit throwing. Should I tell them what's going on here and risk losing a client/being blamed for her behavior or should I just keep my mouth shut?
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cheerfuldom 04:40 PM 08-15-2011
My general thought is that I don't approach a parent with an issue unless 1) there is something they can do about it or 2) its a big enough deal where I would term if a solution is not found. Tantrums and such are normal for the age. I think you should just wait it out a bit, shadow her and make sure she does not hurt anyone and then re-evaluate down the road if it is escalating and too much for you to handle.
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Unregistered 05:32 PM 08-15-2011
Thank you for your imput! I was thinking the same thing. I know how it feels to be on their end of things, and no on really wants to hear every little "naughty" that happens during the day, I just wondered how others would deal with it as well.
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nannyde 05:37 PM 08-15-2011
If I had a physically aggressive kid I would DEFINITELY tell the parents because they would definitely be looking for day care somewhere else. I have a ZERO tolerance policy for violence.

You hit one of my babies and you are gone that day.


The technique they use of they are upset if any report isn't sunshine and kittens in bubbles.... is a BULLYING move on their part. They don't get the luxury of not being told when a child is acting aggressively to another kid. They MUST know about it and let them know you will not tolerate it at ALL.

Tell them.

When they start blaming it on you then listen to what they are saying first. If you are having a supervision issue with her then rethink what you are doing. If you are properly supervising and disciplining and she is refusing to do as she is told then they must know. If they blame it on you then be SPECIFIC blow by blow to them to tell them what happened. Do not allow them to put it back onto you.

Keep repeating to them: I can not have her hitting my kids. I can not have her being aggressive with my babies. I can't have it. She can not be physical here with any of the kids at any time.

Over and over and over. Same phrase with the same stern face.

I'm not one to run to parents with every misbehavior at all. I tell them if it's anything to do with pre-violence or violence. I have no problem talking to them about what kids do BEFORE they hit, pinch, bite.... and get it stopped RIGHT THERE. When I talk to a parent about behavior they know ... know in a huge way... that I'm not playing and it has to stop. I can not have kids being mean here. I can't live like that and I can't have my kids around it. I can't risk my babies... all my babies from birth to five.
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Unregistered 06:07 PM 08-15-2011
Originally Posted by nannyde:

The technique they use of they are upset if any report isn't sunshine and kittens in bubbles.... is a BULLYING move on their part.
Yes, this exactly. They are bullies and I am so sick of it. Now, obviously, she is a bully as well. I don't want to lose the income, but I cannot have this happening, you are right. Thank you.
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Tags:parent notification, tantrums
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