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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Playpen With Higher Sides??? NAUGHTY 2 Year Old!!
My4SunshineGirlsNY 05:04 AM 02-09-2011
I am having an EXTREME hard time with my 2 year old dcb...he's very mean to all the other kids in my house...smashes toys over their heads for no reason and without warning, throws hard toys at them, throws crayons across my kitchen...yesterday he threw a playphone at me after he smashed it on my other dcb's head, then later on when he refused to nap I got down at his level to talk to him and he hit me in the face! These are daily battles.

He's at the point I want to let him go because everyone in the house is high stressed because of this boy, but his mom just switched her hours so he can get picked up sooner and the grandma watches him most of the day before he comes here, so now he's only here 3 hours except for one day out of the week he's here for 6.

When he's naughty I have been using the playpen for time outs that is set up in my living room, this way he's away from the other kids where he can't hurt them...I have tried other methods such as talking to him to help him understand but usually that ends up with me getting smacked in the face.

Lately he's climbing right out of the playpen the moment I put him in. My house is wide open so I have no small area to put him while he's in his throwing/hitting mood to keep the other kids (and myself) safe. Is there a playpen on the market that has higher sides so he won't climb out? I don't know what to do with this boy (other than terminate, but was hoping to avoid that as he's only here a short time).
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BentleysBands 05:09 AM 02-09-2011
I would terminate! I also would not tolerate my own child being abused at daycare.
I would let him go now before you loose other families.
good luck
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Francine 05:13 AM 02-09-2011
Originally Posted by BentleysBands:
I would terminate! I also would not tolerate my own child being abused at daycare.
I would let him go now before you loose other families.
good luck
Ditto! I would not tolerate that for a minute.
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Cat Herder 05:16 AM 02-09-2011
Originally Posted by My4SunshineGirlsNY:
I am having an EXTREME hard time with my 2 year old dcb...he's very mean to all the other kids in my house...smashes toys over their heads for no reason and without warning, throws hard toys at them, throws crayons across my kitchen...yesterday he threw a playphone at me after he smashed it on my other dcb's head, then later on when he refused to nap I got down at his level to talk to him and he hit me in the face! These are daily battles.
Terminate. You and the group deserve better. Terminate today.

This child may do better in a new environment so don't feel guilty. I was a difficult child (bet you would not have guessed that ) but once I was sent to a retired teacher it stopped.

Man I loved that old battle ax!!!!
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My4SunshineGirlsNY 05:39 AM 02-09-2011
I know deep down everything will be better if I do terminate...I think I'm being WAY too soft here. Backbone....oh backbone...where are you backbone????
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nannyde 05:55 AM 02-09-2011
I don't know of any brand of playpens that are deep that are still in production. (whenI use JMasons that are 26 inches deep (about six to seven inches deeper than the current playpens) The Jmasons can easily accomodate a child up and during the third year. The current playpens I know of are about 19-20 inches deep which will really only work up until around one.

Regarding him hitting you and being violent. I wouldn't have had that for one day. I'm 31 years into caring for kids and I've never once had a kid raise their hand to me. If they did they would be out of my house that day and they would not return. If they were hitting my other kids or being violent they would be out that day. I have a zero tolerance policy for violence.
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Mrs.Ky 06:14 AM 02-09-2011
Originally Posted by My4SunshineGirlsNY:
I am having an EXTREME hard time with my 2 year old dcb...he's very mean to all the other kids in my house...smashes toys over their heads for no reason and without warning, throws hard toys at them, throws crayons across my kitchen...yesterday he threw a playphone at me after he smashed it on my other dcb's head, then later on when he refused to nap I got down at his level to talk to him and he hit me in the face! These are daily battles.

He's at the point I want to let him go because everyone in the house is high stressed because of this boy, but his mom just switched her hours so he can get picked up sooner and the grandma watches him most of the day before he comes here, so now he's only here 3 hours except for one day out of the week he's here for 6.

When he's naughty I have been using the playpen for time outs that is set up in my living room, this way he's away from the other kids where he can't hurt them...I have tried other methods such as talking to him to help him understand but usually that ends up with me getting smacked in the face.

Lately he's climbing right out of the playpen the moment I put him in. My house is wide open so I have no small area to put him while he's in his throwing/hitting mood to keep the other kids (and myself) safe. Is there a playpen on the market that has higher sides so he won't climb out? I don't know what to do with this boy (other than terminate, but was hoping to avoid that as he's only here a short time).
You need to look at WHY he is acting this way, does Mom let him get away with murder at home, is he spoiled by Mom, does Mom punish for bad behavior and reward for good? If YES I would look at other things he may have some mental problems going on children who are like this misbehave for a reason. This is NOT in anyway normal toddler behavior I think you should also sit down with Mom and talk with her and see if he is this way at home.
Im NOT saying this child has mental problems but he sounds alot like my Son at the age of 2 who is ADHD he would scratch, bite, pull hair, hit kids with toys, throw toys, have awful tamtrums where he would bang his head and bruise it, I knew it wasnt normal behavior but the doctor kept reassuring me it was I wish I would of had someone tell me different at the time so I could of gotten him help earlier so PLEASE let Mom know this is not normal toddler behavior.
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My4SunshineGirlsNY 06:14 AM 02-09-2011
I have a list a mile long and honestly don't know HOW I have hung on this long...seriously...yesterday he also threw a hard brush at my other dcb's head....last week he pulled a handfull of my 11 year old daughter's hair out because she was getting him down from climbing where he shouldn't of been, and swatted at my 7 year old daughter for no reason at all. He has thrown hard toys at my 7 year old daughter who is VERY kind to him, she has a heart of gold and asks for him to play with her a lot and he will play for a few min. before he's chucking a hard toy at her, FOR NO REASON AT ALL, she is the most gentle girl and out of nowhere he does these things.

Yes, he should of been terminated a while ago and I am holding on by a thread here...it really stinks, I shouldn't let money come in the way of safety, I really can't afford to terminate unless I get a replacement!
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momma2girls 06:22 AM 02-09-2011
I would definately terminate! I always think of the motto- would you like your own child being treated like this in daycare? Nope!!
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countrymom 06:23 AM 02-09-2011
I have a playpen high sides I bought it at a yard sale, I think its an old graco, its awesome and its large too.
I would start laying down the law with him. I don't term right away. The minute he does something bad, put him in the corner, if he gets out, YOU PUT HIM BACK. Ya it will take a bit, but you have have to be on him like glue. It sounds like he keeps getting away with things, you need to get tough. Make him your shadow too, you make him follow you everywhere. He'll get the idea.
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My4SunshineGirlsNY 06:31 AM 02-09-2011
Originally Posted by countrymom:
I have a playpen high sides I bought it at a yard sale, I think its an old graco, its awesome and its large too.
I would start laying down the law with him. I don't term right away. The minute he does something bad, put him in the corner, if he gets out, YOU PUT HIM BACK. Ya it will take a bit, but you have have to be on him like glue. It sounds like he keeps getting away with things, you need to get tough. Make him your sha
dow too, you make him follow you everywhere. He'll get the idea.
This is EXACTLY what I have been doing...I have been putting him back when he climbs out (and lately he shakes the playpen so hard because he's upset) and also do have him follow me and be by my side or I carry him whereever I go...this is the ONLY way I can assure he's not hurting the others, but seriously, I can't keep up with this daily, he's not the only one here and I can't care for the others when he's in my arms constantly... this is exhausting when I have others to care for. I know what I need to do, I am asking around if anyone I know needs daycare.
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momofboys 06:34 AM 02-09-2011
Originally Posted by My4SunshineGirlsNY:
I am having an EXTREME hard time with my 2 year old dcb...he's very mean to all the other kids in my house...smashes toys over their heads for no reason and without warning, throws hard toys at them, throws crayons across my kitchen...yesterday he threw a playphone at me after he smashed it on my other dcb's head, then later on when he refused to nap I got down at his level to talk to him and he hit me in the face! These are daily battles.

He's at the point I want to let him go because everyone in the house is high stressed because of this boy, but his mom just switched her hours so he can get picked up sooner and the grandma watches him most of the day before he comes here, so now he's only here 3 hours except for one day out of the week he's here for 6.

When he's naughty I have been using the playpen for time outs that is set up in my living room, this way he's away from the other kids where he can't hurt them...I have tried other methods such as talking to him to help him understand but usually that ends up with me getting smacked in the face.

Lately he's climbing right out of the playpen the moment I put him in. My house is wide open so I have no small area to put him while he's in his throwing/hitting mood to keep the other kids (and myself) safe. Is there a playpen on the market that has higher sides so he won't climb out? I don't know what to do with this boy (other than terminate, but was hoping to avoid that as he's only here a short time).
Could you put him in a kitchen booster seat/high chair that has a strap? I put my own almost 3-year-old son in that for time outs b/c he can't undo the strap.
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Zoe 06:48 AM 02-09-2011
My very first dck was exactly like that! I'm surprised I'm still in the field after having that little boy as a starter! He was 2 and on the first day of care, wouldn't sit at the table, bit my son (who was also 2), and hit my dogs!

I put up with it for 6 months because I desperately needed the money and didn't want to admit defeat. I was so stressed out all the time, my chest was starting to hurt whenever he was around. My kids HATED him coming over and I had to watch his every move. Heaven forbid I ever had to go to the bathroom, he had to sit outside the open door or else I might catch him choking my son! Of course mom would say, "Oh he's never like this at home!" All sweet and surprised by his behavior.

I finally worked up the nerve to terminate him for my sanity and more importantly, the safety of my family! I was called a Momma Bear, but you know what? We're all a lot happier and I won't put up with anyone hurting ANYONE in my home, whether it's my children or someone else's!

Be a Momma Bear and terminate! It's not worth the stress!
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My4SunshineGirlsNY 07:20 AM 02-09-2011
Ah the highchair...NEVER thought of that!! Thank you...that just may work!

You nailed it Zoe, I don't want to admit defeat...as if I'm supposed to be the professional and figure out how to handle these kids...after all, I work with children, it is my business to deal with all types of behaviors.....at least this is the assumption parents have when hiring a daycare provider..........we all know it's not the case but many parents are trusting us to handle whatever situations come up and when we mention things that are happening, it MUST be our fault, we are not doing something right..

If I terminate I get an aweful pit that the mom will spread the word that I'm terrible and can't handle anything...I KNOW that is far from the truth but I'm in a small town.....humph, stress all the way around!!
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Little People 07:33 AM 02-09-2011
Originally Posted by My4SunshineGirlsNY:
Ah the highchair...NEVER thought of that!! Thank you...that just may work!

You nailed it Zoe, I don't want to admit defeat...as if I'm supposed to be the professional and figure out how to handle these kids...after all, I work with children, it is my business to deal with all types of behaviors.....at least this is the assumption parents have when hiring a daycare provider..........we all know it's not the case but many parents are trusting us to handle whatever situations come up and when we mention things that are happening, it MUST be our fault, we are not doing something right..

If I terminate I get an aweful pit that the mom will spread the word that I'm terrible and can't handle anything...I KNOW that is far from the truth but I'm in a small town.....humph, stress all the way around!!
You said "parents are trusting us to handle whatever situations come up" First did this parent tell you about this child hitting?? I bet not! Then the trust would of been broken from the start.
I would be more worried about the other dck's. I would not think this is fair for them to be hit, toys throwed at them, their hair pulled. And most of all you as a provider being hit. I would never keep a child that has hit me.

Ever think about setting up a video recorder and then play it back to a parent and then after you talk with the parent, show them the video, then HAND THEM A TERMINATION PAPER!

Sorry you are going through all this!! here is huggggsss
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happykidschildcare 08:13 AM 02-09-2011
Think of the other kids in your care, totally unfair to the other DCK's to have to deal with that, I would be more worried about parents pulling thier children out of care because of this Childs behaviour. ( Kids learn what they see) If he doesnt get with the program after the first 2 wks, he's probably not going to workout. I would not want to deal with the constant stress of worrying about him hurting other DCK's and just let him go.
I have a 2 week trial period in my contract giving both parties the option to bow out. And I have used it a few times over the years. Just sayin...
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My4SunshineGirlsNY 08:58 AM 02-09-2011
I have had the child almost a year, took him in when he was 16 months...he was young yet and had the slight throwing/hitting issue...he was so young and didn't quite understand in my opinion...but now he's getting older and things are getting worse and the throwing/hitting is more agressive as he grows older and stronger and more frequent.

I can't say what is going on at home as I'm not there.. child lives with his mom and grandma (the mom's mom), the father is not in the picture... and from what I gather there doesn't seem to be enough discipline when he throws things at the mom and grandma (yes I know he does this because the mom and grandma tell me) and he's the baby and is oh so cute....but I'm not there and don't know what happens so can't say for sure, but from what I see he's spoiled and doesn't have enough firm rules for his naughty behavior. And if he does, it certainly isn't showing here.

But I have been firm with him and letting the child know this negative behavior isn't acceptable here for months and it's doing no good. I guess a part of me is/was hoping it was just a stage and he'll grow out of it, but as time passes, I'm losing hope and feel it's going the other way around...getting worse.
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Unregistered 06:03 AM 08-29-2013
How many hours a week is the child in your care? It sounds like the child has been exposed to abuse, or alternatively has learned that he can do no evil (by your daughter not being firm with him), or he could have good intolerances, a disorder, or it could be the very discipline strategy you used with him. You had him for a substantial amount of time yet all blame is pinned on the mother. Ever consider that putting a toddler in a corner is not actually guiding into more positive habits. You are teaching him that you are more powerful than him, which alleviates anger on your behalf but may actually make the problem worse as he feels out of control of his environment. He is still so young and you are all talki about caging him up and strapping him down in high chairs. I can just imagine the screaming - will this really teach a child and form new neurological pathways. No. It may be effective at preventing attacks. It sounds like this was a child in need (looks like an old thread). Get a good baby carrier like an ergo that goes up to 18kg and keep him warm, cuddled and secure and out of trouble. Put all thrown toys up high. Remove dangerous objects from his reach and allow only soft toys down low. This has become a habit and he is struggling to express something. Teach him "gentle hands" (demonstrate, hold his hand and stroke gently) this is how you should have handled it from the beginning rather than reacting in a way that caused frustration and did nothing to actually TEACH. Kids can't learn if you don't teach them.
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MamaBearCanada 06:18 AM 08-29-2013
Term.

However, if you will not term he has to come full time until his behavior is under control. He is not with you enough for your rules and consequences to have an effect. 3 hrs a day means there is too much variation in rules and consequence between different providers. Give 2-3 weeks full time and if his behaviour improves then keep him and try dropping back to part time.

Howev, for the sake of the other kids I would term. Also, document everything.
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MyAngels 06:25 AM 08-29-2013
Old thread alert .

This child is 5 by now and I'm sure this was solved one way or another
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Maria2013 06:26 AM 08-29-2013
Originally Posted by BentleysBands:
I would terminate! I also would not tolerate my own child being abused at daycare.
I would let him go now before you loose other families.
good luck


I'd get rid of him before he seriously harm someone
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Maria2013 06:26 AM 08-29-2013
Originally Posted by MyAngels:
Old thread alert .

This child is 5 by now and I'm sure this was solved one way or another
oops
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MamaBearCanada 06:28 AM 08-29-2013
Originally Posted by MyAngels:
Old thread alert .

This child is 5 by now and I'm sure this was solved one way or another
Oooops.
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JoseyJo 07:22 AM 08-29-2013
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
How many hours a week is the child in your care? It sounds like the child has been exposed to abuse, or alternatively has learned that he can do no evil (by your daughter not being firm with him), or he could have good intolerances, a disorder, or it could be the very discipline strategy you used with him. You had him for a substantial amount of time yet all blame is pinned on the mother. Ever consider that putting a toddler in a corner is not actually guiding into more positive habits. You are teaching him that you are more powerful than him, which alleviates anger on your behalf but may actually make the problem worse as he feels out of control of his environment. He is still so young and you are all talki about caging him up and strapping him down in high chairs. I can just imagine the screaming - will this really teach a child and form new neurological pathways. No. It may be effective at preventing attacks. It sounds like this was a child in need (looks like an old thread). Get a good baby carrier like an ergo that goes up to 18kg and keep him warm, cuddled and secure and out of trouble. Put all thrown toys up high. Remove dangerous objects from his reach and allow only soft toys down low. This has become a habit and he is struggling to express something. Teach him "gentle hands" (demonstrate, hold his hand and stroke gently) this is how you should have handled it from the beginning rather than reacting in a way that caused frustration and did nothing to actually TEACH. Kids can't learn if you don't teach them.
Seriously? Pulling up an old thread and not even reading it thoroughly before responding? (OP stated how many hours she had the child, and it wasn't very many a week)

I am sure after almost 2 years this situation is now resolved! What is your point in bringing up this old thread and "schooling" the OP? Do you want her to teach him "gentle hands" now after 2 years? Do you want her to hold a now 4 year old's hand and stroke it gently?
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Leigh 09:18 AM 08-29-2013
Originally Posted by JoseyJo:
Seriously? Pulling up an old thread and not even reading it thoroughly before responding? (OP stated how many hours she had the child, and it wasn't very many a week)

I am sure after almost 2 years this situation is now resolved! What is your point in bringing up this old thread and "schooling" the OP? Do you want her to teach him "gentle hands" now after 2 years? Do you want her to hold a now 4 year old's hand and stroke it gently?
Surely, the person didn't notice the age of the thread (old threads pop up on the bottom of the screen under "similar threads"). Trying to humiliate the person who responded is surely the way to make a newcomer feel welcome...good job!
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Blackcat31 09:26 AM 08-29-2013
Originally Posted by Leigh:
Surely, the person didn't notice the age of the thread (old threads pop up on the bottom of the screen under "similar threads"). Trying to humiliate the person who responded is surely the way to make a newcomer feel welcome...good job!
This was no more helpful or productive than her post was.

Negativity breeds when added to.
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JoseyJo 09:52 AM 08-29-2013
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
It sounds like this was a child in need (looks like an old thread). Get a good baby carrier
Originally Posted by Leigh:
Surely, the person didn't notice the age of the thread (old threads pop up on the bottom of the screen under "similar threads"). Trying to humiliate the person who responded is surely the way to make a newcomer feel welcome...good job!
She/He DID know it was an old post and posted anyway as if it was a new post. My question to "unregistered" is what is the point of her post? She/He knows it is an old post and this issue must be resolved by now but still posted all that advice. Why?
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Michelle 10:37 AM 08-29-2013
I had similar problems with a 2 year old...
told dad about it in front of child..
dad took child out to the car and "took care of business"
child came back in ..said sorry and was the best child I have ever had!
when kids know we can't "take care of business" ...then they act this way and get away with it.

I don't believe in having dad or mom do this for every little thing but when the kid KNOWS the parents and provider are on the same page and KNOWS that he is expected to behave or there will be consequences... it makes life so much easier and is good for the kid and group.
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Unregistered 06:46 AM 08-16-2017
My beloved adorable little 2 year old started impulsively bashing other kids. He was a good sharer and an only child who loved being with other kids but inexplicably started hitting for no apparent cause out of the blue.
I researched and found out about sensory overload. He went to see an occupational therapist who was an expert in sensory integration therapy with kids. After 2 weeks he stopped hitting and has never done it again he also learned a lot about regulating his energy by doing bouts of extreme exercise when he needs to. He still remained a very hyper little boy who was hard to handle but what I discovered was that with enough exercise at intervals during the day things improved. I put him in a pre-school with a full sized playground on a huge college campus where they went for walks every day and a huge gym for rainy days.
He is 16 now and knows how to regulate his own energy by vigorous workouts in his room when he feels tense, he is an A student in a challenging large public high school and plays in an orchestra and a chamber group and I NEVER used the drugs that lots of misguided school personal thought I should but I did put him in a Waldorf school from age 10-through 8th grade because they integrate being outdoors, the arts and academics in a way more humanely matched to his nervous system.Please don't judge a small child who is "wild". Read "The Out of Sync Child"
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Cat Herder 09:45 AM 08-16-2017
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
My beloved adorable little 2 year old started impulsively bashing other kids. He was a good sharer and an only child who loved being with other kids but inexplicably started hitting for no apparent cause out of the blue.
I researched and found out about sensory overload. He went to see an occupational therapist who was an expert in sensory integration therapy with kids. After 2 weeks he stopped hitting and has never done it again he also learned a lot about regulating his energy by doing bouts of extreme exercise when he needs to. He still remained a very hyper little boy who was hard to handle but what I discovered was that with enough exercise at intervals during the day things improved. I put him in a pre-school with a full sized playground on a huge college campus where they went for walks every day and a huge gym for rainy days.
He is 16 now and knows how to regulate his own energy by vigorous workouts in his room when he feels tense, he is an A student in a challenging large public high school and plays in an orchestra and a chamber group and I NEVER used the drugs that lots of misguided school personal thought I should but I did put him in a Waldorf school from age 10-through 8th grade because they integrate being outdoors, the arts and academics in a way more humanely matched to his nervous system.Please don't judge a small child who is "wild". Read "The Out of Sync Child"
Most of us did not have access to this type of training or local CCR&R support systems back in 2011 (when this thread was posted), terming was our only option to keep from being liable for other childrens injuries.

So much has changed since then and this is something most of us have resources for now. That said, not all of us can accommodate a child with high needs in a small group setting with one provider. As long as parents are up front during enrollment, we are typically well prepared for what lies ahead and know if it is something we can or can't deal with, now (2017).
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LysesKids 11:10 AM 08-16-2017
Originally Posted by My4SunshineGirlsNY:
I have a list a mile long and honestly don't know HOW I have hung on this long...seriously...yesterday he also threw a hard brush at my other dcb's head....last week he pulled a handfull of my 11 year old daughter's hair out because she was getting him down from climbing where he shouldn't of been, and swatted at my 7 year old daughter for no reason at all. He has thrown hard toys at my 7 year old daughter who is VERY kind to him, she has a heart of gold and asks for him to play with her a lot and he will play for a few min. before he's chucking a hard toy at her, FOR NO REASON AT ALL, she is the most gentle girl and out of nowhere he does these things.

Yes, he should of been terminated a while ago and I am holding on by a thread here...it really stinks, I shouldn't let money come in the way of safety, I really can't afford to terminate unless I get a replacement!
Look at it this way... you will be out even more $$ if other parents start pulling because this child injured theirs; What if your dd was at another daycare and was getting hurt - would you let her stay in that environment, I know I wouldn't. Your reputation will be tanked if word gets around about what's happening too. I termed a child like this last year (he was barely 18 months) - it hurt my income for a few months, but it let my families know I was watching out for everyones best interest. Money vs Reputation ... Reputation and sanity won in my home
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LysesKids 11:24 AM 08-16-2017
Dang... didn't even catch the date... I'm bad
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Rockgirl 12:34 PM 08-16-2017
I can't be the only one who cringes at the title of this thread, right? Lol
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hwichlaz 04:32 PM 08-16-2017
A fire place gate/room divider can section off a smaller part of a room...mine is 29 inches tall.

I'd also terminate. But I have a 2-year old that needs a taller gate and I was going to order one so she can have her own area when she's being more 2 than usual, but I think she'd vault over it anyway.
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TheMisplacedMidwestMom 05:52 PM 08-16-2017
TWICE! Twice today I cruised this post like it was recent.
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Tags:2 year old, 2011, behavior problems, behavioral observation form, classroom management, developmental - support, developmental screening, playpens, terrible 2's, training, violence in child care
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