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Old 01-09-2020, 03:38 PM
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CountryRoads CountryRoads is online now
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Default When a Child Exaggerates

Dcb3 at pick up told his mom that I yelled at him and got mad at him today.

I most definitely did not yell, I just told him he couldn't go in a certain area that is blocked off for the babies.

Dcm just told him that I'm allowed to get mad at him and tell him no.

I didn't say anything, but I'm just curious if you would have? I cringed when it happened and didn't really know how to respond
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Old 01-09-2020, 04:00 PM
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Originally Posted by CountryRoads View Post
Dcb3 at pick up told his mom that I yelled at him and got mad at him today.

I most definitely did not yell, I just told him he couldn't go in a certain area that is blocked off for the babies.

Dcm just told him that I'm allowed to get mad at him and tell him no.

I didn't say anything, but I'm just curious if you would have? I cringed when it happened and didn't really know how to respond

This is one of the reasons why i switched to infant/toddler care only.
I probably would have said something. “oh i didnt yell at you silly, i just told you not to go in the infant area, but i wasnt mad at you.” Somethin like that
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Old 01-09-2020, 04:15 PM
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It has happened to me a few times and what I usually do is verbally walk the kid through what happened in front of the parent, asking questions, making him explain to the parent what really happened. So if a kid claims I yelled at him, I'll say something like, ""What?! Hold on a minute now. First of all, lets tell mom what you did today that made me unhappy with your behavior." The kid usually looks embarrassed and confesses. Then, "Exactly; you were trying to get into an area you know you're not allowed to be in. When I told you not to go in there, what did you do?" "Right. You ignored me and went in anyway." "Now...what did I say to you when you did that?" "That's correct; I told you to come out of there right now because.....well, were you supposed to be in there? "Right. You weren't." "Did I yell at you or did I just tell you to come out of there?" "Ah! I told you to come out. That's how I remember it, too. Thanks for explaining that to Mom so she can understand what happened today."

So far, this approach has worked well for me. The kids know what really happened and when prompted, give a pretty accurate version of what really happened.
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Old 01-10-2020, 04:51 AM
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I had a four-year-old do something similar. I told her to show her mom how I yelled at her. She did the wide eye mom stare and three-finger count down. Her mom laughed.

I usually just say "I'll believe half of what she says about you if you do the same for me." Then laugh.
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Old 01-10-2020, 06:32 AM
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One of my kids told their parent I said we weren't having a Christmas party because they were all jerks.

I did say that but I wasn't talking about daycare or the daycare kids.

Thankfully all my daycare parents are super laid back and know me. They also know their kids can be jerks sometimes so even though I wasn't referring to them, I could have been and it was okay.

As for yelling.....meh... it happens.
Raising your voice now and then is part of the job.
We shouldn't really have to apologize for it.
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Old 01-10-2020, 06:48 AM
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Originally Posted by Blackcat31 View Post

As for yelling.....meh... it happens.
Raising your voice now and then is part of the job.
We shouldn't really have to apologize for it.

In a room full of 12 kids 5yrs and under, including one or two usually crying or screaming... I think it should be expected!

I would have just laughed and said "yea, my mom voice was used today."
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Old 01-10-2020, 06:53 AM
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Thanks everyone for the replies! Makes me feel better

Now I wonder what gets said at home!
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Old 01-11-2020, 05:55 AM
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I don't stress about it anymore. I have and do raise my voice at kids occasionally. It is not a regular occurrence but it does happen. Generally if it's a safety issue and I need to get their attention immediately.
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Old 01-11-2020, 01:41 PM
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Makes me laugh because we had visitors this week and they were in the corner observing. I was usually my really low "Ms Honey" voice and a super pleasant face, so the visitors thought I was having sweet one on one interactions but I was really threatening to tar and feather them
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Old 01-11-2020, 02:16 PM
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Our childcare consultant came in one year to inspect us and our administrator yelled at the kids and she heard her but didn't say anything
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