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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Been Open For 10 Months And Ready To Call It Quits
Unregistered 09:05 AM 04-28-2013
I love working with kids but can't stand the drama with the parents. I have had nothing but trouble with the parents I've worked with. They all seemed great at the beginning and then suddenly they turn. Now every parent I have is arguing policies, trying to get out of paying fees and getting downright rude. I don't think I can handle this anymore. Any one else have a similar feeling in the beginning? Will it go away? Or is this business just not for me?
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EntropyControlSpecialist 09:42 AM 04-28-2013
How many families do you currently have?
Have you always implemented your policies from day one and given no room for "special treatment?"
Do you review the policies with them before they enroll so you are sure they have actually read them/heard them/know them?
What fees are they arguing about paying?

Perhaps we can give you suggestions on how to word things.

I went through a rough spell with several really tough clients. In fact, some signed on believing that they could change my business policies after signing on. Last year I termed, or greatly assisted them in terming themselves, a grand total of 6 families within my first 6 months of business dealing/coping with them one family at a time.
I have between 8-12 children here (currently 8) so I interact with many families. Had I had those 6 families at the exact same time (one didn't follow rules/provide payment and said she wouldn't, one wanted a lot of special treatment and allowed their child to be violent with me, one wanted me to change my rates for her family after signing up and agreeing to them, one didn't inform me of their child's violent tendencies towards other children, one wanted me to accommodate their part-time child's demands and were upset that I wouldn't, and one family had one parent accepting that their child was violent and unable to change while the other parent blamed me for their child's sociopathic behaviors which I worked with them about for 9 months) I know I would have called it quits. I promise you that not every family will attempt to "gain control" of your business. Not every family will be difficult to work with. Not every year will be like this one.


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AmyKidsCo 04:05 PM 04-28-2013
Most child care providers agree that working with parents is much harder than working with the children.

I've been in child care for 18+ years and you get some great parents and some not-so-great ones. So no, this will never end because even if you have all great parents for a while, eventually their child will "graduate" out and you'll have new parents again.

The good news is that over time you'll get better at communicating with parents and enforcing your policies so you'll have fewer problems with parents.
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EAP 06:25 PM 04-28-2013
Originally Posted by EntropyControlSpecialist:
How many families do you currently have?
Have you always implemented your policies from day one and given no room for "special treatment?"
Do you review the policies with them before they enroll so you are sure they have actually read them/heard them/know them?
What fees are they arguing about paying?

Perhaps we can give you suggestions on how to word things.

I went through a rough spell with several really tough clients. In fact, some signed on believing that they could change my business policies after signing on. Last year I termed, or greatly assisted them in terming themselves, a grand total of 6 families within my first 6 months of business dealing/coping with them one family at a time.
I have between 8-12 children here (currently 8) so I interact with many families. Had I had those 6 families at the exact same time (one didn't follow rules/provide payment and said she wouldn't, one wanted a lot of special treatment and allowed their child to be violent with me, one wanted me to change my rates for her family after signing up and agreeing to them, one didn't inform me of their child's violent tendencies towards other children, one wanted me to accommodate their part-time child's demands and were upset that I wouldn't, and one family had one parent accepting that their child was violent and unable to change while the other parent blamed me for their child's sociopathic behaviors which I worked with them about for 9 months) I know I would have called it quits. I promise you that not every family will attempt to "gain control" of your business. Not every family will be difficult to work with. Not every year will be like this one.

I have had quite a few power struggles lately with parents and it is really hard - even when I have been very firm from day one or when they were previously great parents (who are leaving and are pushing all the limits) - it is exhausting - what sucks is I don't want to just start terming people because I don't want to get a bad reputation - but these parents need a wake up call. I'm trying to figure out how to force people to quit?
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Play Care 05:38 AM 04-29-2013
Originally Posted by EAP:
I have had quite a few power struggles lately with parents and it is really hard - even when I have been very firm from day one or when they were previously great parents (who are leaving and are pushing all the limits) - it is exhausting - what sucks is I don't want to just start terming people because I don't want to get a bad reputation - but these parents need a wake up call. I'm trying to figure out how to force people to quit?
I think one thing you can do is when they question your policies to state very clearly "Patty, this has been policy since day 1, so I'm not sure why it's all the sudden an issue. I understand if my care is no longer working for you/your family and you need to give your two week notice ." or a simple "Are you giving me your two week notice?" when they are particularly being asinine. That might give them the shove they need find another dc provider. That said, I am in a small town so I feel your pain about terming and getting that kind of reputation.
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mbullette 07:21 AM 04-29-2013
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
I love working with kids but can't stand the drama with the parents. I have had nothing but trouble with the parents I've worked with. They all seemed great at the beginning and then suddenly they turn. Now every parent I have is arguing policies, trying to get out of paying fees and getting downright rude. I don't think I can handle this anymore. Any one else have a similar feeling in the beginning? Will it go away? Or is this business just not for me?

I have been providing in home childcare for a couple years now and it never gets easier. The parents are nice to you as long as everything is going their way. Once you confront them or they hear something they dont like they turn and it gets ugly. I love working with kids but lately I have started looking for a job outside the home. I have tried getting rid of the problem families but once you get rid of one you always have another behind them. Good luck!!!
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hope 07:52 AM 04-29-2013
One thing that has helped get me through this job is to not take ANYTHING personally. When a parent asks to bend the rules say no and don't think about it again. It is not your problem if this upsets them. If they leave because you will not bend the rules for them do not worry, thisopens up a new spot for you for a New family that may be a better fit. Once you let go of the fear of upsetting the parents and what that may mean for your reputation you will feel a lot more relaxed and confident. Stick to your policies and don't stress.
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EAP 09:49 AM 04-29-2013
Originally Posted by hope:
One thing that has helped get me through this job is to not take ANYTHING personally. When a parent asks to bend the rules say no and don't think about it again. It is not your problem if this upsets them. If they leave because you will not bend the rules for them do not worry, thisopens up a new spot for you for a New family that may be a better fit. Once you let go of the fear of upsetting the parents and what that may mean for your reputation you will feel a lot more relaxed and confident. Stick to your policies and don't stress.
I want to be you when I grow a back bone! I am so worried about them bashing my program.
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williams2008 10:25 AM 04-29-2013
Originally Posted by hope:
One thing that has helped get me through this job is to not take ANYTHING personally. When a parent asks to bend the rules say no and don't think about it again. It is not your problem if this upsets them. If they leave because you will not bend the rules for them do not worry, thisopens up a new spot for you for a New family that may be a better fit. Once you let go of the fear of upsetting the parents and what that may mean for your reputation you will feel a lot more relaxed and confident. Stick to your policies and don't stress.
everything she said!!
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Tags:burnt out, overwhelmed, parents - don't cooperate
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