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Essentialrose1 04:01 PM 04-20-2016
I am the director in a center that has been preschool for over 35 years. We just opened an infant/toddler room that has been so successful & growing quickly. I have one parent that I thought was gonna be awesome & very supportive but I'm considering telling her we just aren't a good fit for her. I just wanna make sure I'm not crazy. Here are her complaints. Most of which I've addressed with my teacher - some I disagreed with but had the teacher make changes to make mom happy.
*not snapping all 3 snaps on onsie for diaper changes
*the number of diapers not matching up to what's on her daily gram
*got emotional & upset when she learned that we taught her 11 month old how to hold her own bottle
*still giving her a bottle at 13 months
(We r understanding with giving her formula since she's giving mom a hard time with solids we still spoon feed her baby food stage ONE. I don't really believe she's giving a hard time but we don't know coz we only have permission to give baby food & mini goldfish)
*helping 13 month old stand by holding her hands & encouraging her to take a step
*not using the big plastic big with the pocket --- she doesn't even feed herself!! Why should we use it? We spoon feed her & her regular bib hardly gets a drop. She actually checks her bib to see if we used it during feedings
*giving her grass time outside which she hates but nice weather just started & she needs time
*letting the school age kids in the room before the bus comes in the morning both them & the babies absolutely love it. They help & play with them. There's only ever 2 one year olds in at that time.
Those are the things I don't agree with but we have made special accommodations to make her happy. I have addressed concerns that I believed to be my duty. Teacher making silly comments about baby being lazy & needing to walk. That hurt moms feelings. & now teacher gave 13 month old bottle in pack & play (after her nap if that makes a difference that she was awake) which I'll apologize about & assure that it won't happen again.
Please give me some honest feedback.
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Thriftylady 04:12 PM 04-20-2016
Well, I would be upset at the bottle thing also. I believe children should be held with a bottle, so teaching her to hold her own just so you can put her down would upset me.

But, a child over a 12 months here isn't allowed a bottle without a doctor's script. Most won't write it, it isn't healthy for children to stay on the bottle past a year.

In a center I would also be upset about the SA kids be in the room. Many parents choose centers because of the age groups being broken up. So unless mom agreed to that in the beginning, I can see her being upset at that also. In a center there are many more children than in most home daycares, I could see someone getting stepped on.

But if I agree or not, makes no difference. The policies you have in place are your policies. And if mom doesn't like those policies, she should find some place else for her kiddo. If she came to me, I would have to tell her I couldn't provide care, because kiddo would be expected to sit at the table at meals and eat with the rest of the kiddos, the same thing they ate. Unless once again I had a doctors documentation and treatment plan. The bottle would never be allowed in my home at that age. And going outside, it happens here! Little one would be in the grass. Mom doesn't have to allow it, but I would have to decline to offer a spot.

Just because someone wants to pay for a spot, doesn't mean they are a good match for that spot. Sometimes we have to take a little bit of a hit in the pocket to get families that fit our care. IMHO, there is no amount of money worth keeping a family that isn't a good fit. Causes to much stress and heartache!
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Essentialrose1 04:36 PM 04-20-2016
Thank you for your input. We've bent over backwards to make her happy. As for the school agers - it's one kid per day & actually they're bored of it now. It was a new thing in our center to have babies & they were excited to help. I received numerous emails from parents applauding us for it. That their kids were coming home talking about how great it was & how much they love helping. There's no chance of them getting "trampled" since it's one school ager & they only come in if they feel like helping not to horse play. But I get what you're saying. It wasn't a policy in place before we started since its a new room for us & we are just going with what feels right.
As for the bottle - I really have to revisit that & maybe put in a policy like that.
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Thriftylady 04:51 PM 04-20-2016
Originally Posted by Essentialrose1:
Thank you for your input. We've bent over backwards to make her happy. As for the school agers - it's one kid per day & actually they're bored of it now. It was a new thing in our center to have babies & they were excited to help. I received numerous emails from parents applauding us for it. That their kids were coming home talking about how great it was & how much they love helping. There's no chance of them getting "trampled" since it's one school ager & they only come in if they feel like helping not to horse play. But I get what you're saying. It wasn't a policy in place before we started since its a new room for us & we are just going with what feels right.
As for the bottle - I really have to revisit that & maybe put in a policy like that.
Well the problem you find is that if you try to cater to every little thing every picky parent wants, you will make yourself and your staff nuts. Trust me, people like asking for "special".
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childcaremom 05:38 PM 04-20-2016
The only thing I agree with is a bottle in the pack n play.

Other than that..... she's just being picky. Sounds like she maybe has some mama guilt, too.
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Nothankyou 09:22 AM 04-21-2016
Bottle in pack and play never okay period. However giving a bottle past 12 months for anything less than a doctors note is also not okay. Also most places require them to be on 100 percent table food by a year and feeding themselves.

If she can't comply with these things she may need to seek a nanny who is willing to do things 100 percent the way mom wants.

Not everyone is a good fit for a center.
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Blackcat31 09:32 AM 04-21-2016
Originally Posted by Essentialrose1:
I am the director in a center that has been preschool for over 35 years. We just opened an infant/toddler room that has been so successful & growing quickly. I have one parent that I thought was gonna be awesome & very supportive but I'm considering telling her we just aren't a good fit for her. I just wanna make sure I'm not crazy. Here are her complaints. Most of which I've addressed with my teacher - some I disagreed with but had the teacher make changes to make mom happy.
*not snapping all 3 snaps on onsie for diaper changes
*the number of diapers not matching up to what's on her daily gram
*got emotional & upset when she learned that we taught her 11 month old how to hold her own bottle
*still giving her a bottle at 13 months
(We r understanding with giving her formula since she's giving mom a hard time with solids we still spoon feed her baby food stage ONE. I don't really believe she's giving a hard time but we don't know coz we only have permission to give baby food & mini goldfish)
*helping 13 month old stand by holding her hands & encouraging her to take a step
*not using the big plastic big with the pocket --- she doesn't even feed herself!! Why should we use it? We spoon feed her & her regular bib hardly gets a drop. She actually checks her bib to see if we used it during feedings
*giving her grass time outside which she hates but nice weather just started & she needs time
*letting the school age kids in the room before the bus comes in the morning both them & the babies absolutely love it. They help & play with them. There's only ever 2 one year olds in at that time.
Those are the things I don't agree with but we have made special accommodations to make her happy. I have addressed concerns that I believed to be my duty. Teacher making silly comments about baby being lazy & needing to walk. That hurt moms feelings. & now teacher gave 13 month old bottle in pack & play (after her nap if that makes a difference that she was awake) which I'll apologize about & assure that it won't happen again.
Please give me some honest feedback.
WHY would a parent continue to stay somewhere that does not do things the way they (as a parent) want them done? That never ceases to amaze me....

In your case mom is staying because you are bending to please her.

I would let mom know YOUR program policies.
Let her know they are NOT negotiable.

Mom's ONLY choice is to stay AND follow all policies or find care that meets HER needs.

It really is that simple.
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Blackcat31 09:33 AM 04-21-2016
Does your program participate in a CACFP food program at all?
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EntropyControlSpecialist 10:57 AM 04-21-2016
Originally Posted by childcaremom:
The only thing I agree with is a bottle in the pack n play.

Other than that..... she's just being picky. Sounds like she maybe has some mama guilt, too.
Same here.

What she wants to do at her home is her business, but what you do at daycare is yours. She either agrees with the policies or she doesn't. It isn't her business, your daycare center and its staff are not her nannies, and she can accept the services you offer or go elsewhere (which sounds best).

I would implement the no bottle rule immediately. I'm sure this child would love to begin exploring real food and not young infant pureed food and bottles.
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nannyde 12:52 PM 04-21-2016
She has a severe case of PASS. Parental attention seeking syndrome.

I have a chapter on it in my book.

School agers with one year olds... that's way risky. One trip on the one year old and they could be hurt badly. Please rethink that.

She needs a nanny. She won't pay for one until you quit doing it for group care price.
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Blackcat31 12:55 PM 04-21-2016
Originally Posted by nannyde:
I have a chapter on it in my book.
http://www.amazon.com/Daycare-Whispe...ords=Tori+Fees
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Tags:bad fit, directors, parents - don't cooperate, picky, picky parent
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