This is more of a sharing thread for me than a vent or looking for suggestions, but here's what's going on.

I've had this school-ager since September. He's my only SA and I will not be doing this age next year, as I don't believe the bus area is safe where I can properly supervise everyone in my care. Anyway, I have this kid for a half hour in the morning before I put him on the bus.

After school, I basically walk him from my gate to his mom's car. His mom comes 20 minutes before the bus even comes! She knows what time the bus comes, she knows she's going to be waiting for a long time. So this woman is in my driveway for 20 minutes every day! Why doesn't she just go do something? Or even pick up the child from school? I just think it's weird.

There's an early release day today and he will be coming in a half hour. Dcm told me that grandma will be picking him up. I'm curious to see if grandma will be doing the same thing; waiting in her car for 20 minutes!

Does anyone else find this strange? Before, the mom would wait in my house, but it was really uncomfortable for me and my dck's, so I told her that she had to wait outside, which she agreed to no problem. I just don't get it.

Thanks for "listening" to my rant. I'm done now!

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I have a question.... after school if she is already there, why do you have to walk him from your gate to her car?? Why can't she just meet him getting off the bus???

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Yeah, I'm super confused.

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If I had a normal set-up, that's what I would do. However, the front of my house is on a busy street with no parking. Then the child has to climb up a flight of steps to get to my house (we live on a hill). The parents drive into our alleyway behind the house (which to me, really is our main entrance since we have such a unique set up) and park in front of our garage. So the child comes up the stairs which leads to our privacy fenced in yard. So I have to lead the child (who is special needs, I should mention) through the yard out of the gate to mom's car.

Hassle huh?!? He's had a hard time in other daycares and I was such a great fit because of my special ed teaching background.

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Why can't Mom get OUT of the car, walk to the front of your house, and get him off the bus herself?

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I would instruct the mother that starting tomorrow or Monday or whatever day.... that being as she is there she needs to go meet her child in the front when the bus drops him off. Simply tell her you have other children to care for and there is no reason for you to be leaving them to attend to her child when she is there and capable.

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My house is on a hill. Basically, my front yard is a cliff of sorts. Which is why I have a staircase to get to my house. I'm not a fan of it, which is why we all use the alleyway as the front/main entrance. With the exception of this SA, we don't even use the front stairway. There's really no need for it and I find that the whole setup of the property is strange (but I make it work )

So I took this guy on because I knew they needed someone who has experience with his needs, but after this school year, I'm done with SA. It's just not worth it for the whole inconvenient bus situation.

If I could find a way to get dcm to wait for him at the bus without lurking in my yard and making the dogs bark at her for 20 minutes, I would definitely be having her do that!

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Is she going to school out of district using your daycare address as reason for exception?

I have had that alot, they were willing to drive and pay for childcare they really did not need for the better school district....

If not, I see no reason why this child has to go through the ordeal of a bus ride if she can just pick him up at school... YKWIM?

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There is your answer...tell her your dogs are freaking out so she will need to wait down the street, wherever, just not your yard until the time her child is ready to be picked up. Are you paid for after school care too? or just before school?

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Interesting... She is considering taking him back to their own school district next year, but she never said why. Now I just have to wait it out!

This is embarassing, but I'm paid terribly for this service. Yes, it's technically before and after school care, but I got this family as I was just starting out here and before I discovered you great people. So I'm hardly charging for this. I told her 5 dollars an hour, thinking he'd be here for 2 hours, instead of the half hour it turned out to be. So I'm only getting 25 dollars a week! If she didn't need me so badly, I'd term.

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Tell her to park out front... down a bit from where the bus drops or across the street... she can wait in her car till she sees the bus coming then get out and get him right off of the bus... this shouldn't bother anyone or the dogs???

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I wish I could show you pictures of my property to show everyone how that's just not possible, but I'm afraid to "share too much". The street where he's dropped off is not a street where you can park. It's almost considered a highway. The bus is able to stop, but that's it. The mother can't park on the street. She's at the other end of the house and cannot see what's going on. She'd have to go into my privacy fence, go into the yard, and then go down the stairs. Or else, she'd have to park in the alleyway, walk to the end of the block, walk down a steep hill, then get onto the sidewalk at the front of the street. All this in a Minnesota winter. Just not a safe option.

I'm probably going to keep doing what I'm doing, but just thought I'd share how strange it is that she's here 20 minutes before hand.

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I'm sorry, I guess I'm being dense today, but I still don't get it?

So, DCM waits in your driveway for up to 20 minutes BEFORE the bus comes, in the back of your house. You leave the front of your house, get the child off the bus, and walk him around the house, through the yard and out of a gate behind your house. At no point does the child enter your house in the afternoon. Is that correct? Is this a one way or locked gate? Do you have large biting dogs outside?

I'm really not trying to be a smart alec, I just don't see why, if you can walk the child TO the car outside, why Mom can't come in through your gate and around/down the stairs and get her own child off the bus.

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Yeah I'm still super confused lol.


But what I would suggest, is if she's there early enough that she is waiting for him and driving your dogs insane, just ask her to not be there so early. Maybe even just 5 minutes before she knows he gets there?

OR

Mention that it doesn't seem right that he's bussing if she clearly has enough time to sit and wait for almost half hour in front/behind your house.

Is she paying you for you to walk him around the house?

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Ok, I'm just not explaining myself correctly. Like I've said before, my property is not set up like most houses. I don't have a front yard or back yard. There's my house, then a side yard, which is completely surrounded by a privacy fence. My house is on the top of a steep hill, with a staircase leading up to the yard. We don't have a "front door". We have a side door leading to the yard, and a back door leading to the alleyway. The kid comes up the stairs into the yard by himself.

So picture coming up the stairs into a yard with the house at your right.

Now imagine walking straight from the gate into the yard, keep walking straight through the yard (past the house, which is on the right) and that's where the other end of the fence is. There's a door there in the privacy fence that leads to the alleyway.

I'm sorry to confuse everyone, I would be confused too. Trust me, I was super confused when we saw this house at the time were going to buy it!

If I had the guts, I would tell the mom to cross through my yard and go down the stairs and wait for her son. Maybe it's just me, but I feel weird about having her cross my property like that.

Really, the point of the post was to vent about how early she comes. It just confuses me why she does this. I don't mind helping her son, who has some special needs, to the car. That's not the problem. What I don't get is why she even needs me after school, but from talking to her, I don't think she gets it.

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It just seems unecessary for her to come to your property at all. The bottom line is that if she has 20 minutes to spare she can just pick him up AT THE SCHOOL!!! He shouldn't even have to ride the bus. Unless there is some rule in your school district that says bus riders must ride in the morning AND in teh afternoon.

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That's exactly what I've been thinking! I tried to talk to her about it once and she got upset. I don't think she understands things very well in general. She's so scared that I won't take her kid anymore, but it doesn't seem to me that she even needs after school care. I gave up reasoning with her a few months ago.

Tomorrow I'm going to try watching him cross the yard to get to the car and see how it goes, see if he can handle it. Maybe it will make things easier.

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The bus ride may be something that she wants to continue due to his special needs.... I have children with special needs and my son used to ride the SE van to and from school... it took a lot to get him to be able to ride the school bus with the typical kids... I wouldn't want to do anything to disrupt this and send us back to square one... maybe the mom has a reason for keeping him on the bus.

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A lot of districts in my area have this rule. It's making for some very angry and inconvenienced parents, and providers! On top of the fact that the way around the issue is paying the school district for after school care .

So I have 2 SA that started today and they only come 3 days a week. The parents are driving them to school the other days. Mom just told me that she has to send in a note every single day (even tho it's every W/TH) that they will be parent pick up. I told her to just pick them up here. They are at 2 different schools and she has to get out of the car at each school, walk across the street and wait for the doors to open/child to be released. All with a 2yo in tow. It's crazy.

As for the waiting. 20 mins is excessive. I'd tell her the dogs are going nuts disrupting napping. Maybe 10 is more reasonable if the bus is random. And I'd make it her job to cross your yard and get him off the bus if the space does not allow for her to park on the street during the winter months. As soon as that snow melts, ask her to walk around the block. The exercise is good for both of them.

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I like the her cutting across your yard option you mentioned. That way you wouldn't be leaving the rest of your dck's, right?

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I think I can understand the dc mom's reasoning -- if her son is special needs, she may not want to change the usual routine and possibly confuse matters or frustrate him. I've had dc parents continue to drive way out of their way to pick up their kids at my bus stop, just so the kids (kindy and gr. 1) wouldn't have to deal with changes to their bussing schedule, even though I was no longer caring for them.

And it is odd that the dc mom is sitting there for 20 minutes, but maybe she has the extra time because of her work schedule. 20 minutes is enough time to kill, but it might not be enough time to grab some groceries or whatever, so she's left with waiting at OP's place.

However, if I were OP, I think I'd tell dc mom to just let herself through the yard. Yeah, it's a little weird having someone traipse through your yard every day, but it's alot less disruptive than the alternative ...

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Thank you for all of your responses! I'm going to try to get over my issue with having her in my yard and try to put her in charge of getting her kid. It would really be easier if I didn't have to watch out my window to see if he's coming and all the rest!

Thanks again!

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