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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Do You Tell Parents About CIO/Lack Of Nap Routine?
jojosmommy 12:19 PM 09-28-2011
I have a 4 month old who lacks any type of nap routine/schedule. Will sleep wrapped or rocked. Will sleep alone for 45 min. Monday I decided I was going to do CIO with her. In bed at 9 out at 10-10:30. She will fall asleep at this time with only a little fuss.

In bed at 12 for afternoon nap is a whole different thing. She is getting better about CIO and is crying much less time than the past few days. I have been leaving her a bit and if she doesn't sleep after a while I take her out of pnp, and keep her in the office with me and try agian. Lights out, I leave, and we start over after about an hour or so of her being awake with me. The afternoon is the worst. She will fight and fight until pick up at 4:30. Needless to say she looks like she is very tired a pick up- there is no hiding it really.

I send home daily sheets with parents and they are starting to question why she is not napping here anymore. They keep saying she is so fussy at home in the evening/night now b/c she is not napping here. They want me to put her in the swing so she can sleep the 3 hours she used to (with me holding/coddling) and like she does at home. I refused. I explained that I can't per licensing, eventually she will be too big for a swing and we will have to go down this road anyway, it's not safe for sids, and the other kids bug her when she is in the swing so she wouldn't be able to sleep 3 uninterrupted hours there anyway. The kids don't bug her but they aren't going to be quiet in the common areas while she is sleeping like the parents would like.

So do you stop telling them she isn't napping well? How when I send home daily sheets? Do you lie and write down what she "rested" while in the pnp working on falling asleep?

I don't want to lose a client but I am not willing to concede on this. NO napping in swings. NO holding for 3 hours. This is daycare not nanny care, Period. I can't really afford to lose them, I only have 2 families in care so this family is half my income. YOUR IDEAS?
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Cat Herder 12:25 PM 09-28-2011
With a 4 month old I don't have a nap schedule at all. When they look sleepy, I place them in bed, awake, on their back.

After 20 minutes without falling asleep, I place them back in their playroom area with toys.

Rinse/Repeat as many times a day as is necessary.

Typically by about 6-8 months they start following the routine with everyone else because they are then eating more on the same schedule as everyone else and the room is calmer, KWIM?

Maybe that will work for you?
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Heidi 12:26 PM 09-28-2011
Can you shorten up the am nap a bit (like 30 minutes), and wake her? Maybe that will hold her over until 12 or 12:30, yet she will be tired enough to go down easier then.

I don't envy you this one! My 14 mo twins just went to one nap, and life is much easier. They were big fussers at nap time, now suddenly, they are not. So, there is hope...

You are right about all of it! It only gets harder. She learns now, or you will be having this same fight when she can sit up, or stand and shake the daylights out of the crib.

If the parents really don't want you to do this, they will have to find other care. I am not sure how it is in your area, but finding infant care around here is tough!
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MyAngels 04:31 PM 09-28-2011
Originally Posted by Catherder:
With a 4 month old I don't have a nap schedule at all. When they look sleepy, I place them in bed, awake, on their back.

After 20 minutes without falling asleep, I place them back in their playroom area with toys.

Rinse/Repeat as many times a day as is necessary.

Typically by about 6-8 months they start following the routine with everyone else because they are then eating more on the same schedule as everyone else and the room is calmer, KWIM?

Maybe that will work for you?
This is what I do, too.
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cheerfuldom 08:26 AM 09-29-2011
I go with the flow for kids younger than 6 months (especially if you cannot lose her!). I think you are asking a bit too much of a 4 month old. We do the EASY method here for babies and at 4 months old, I would not keep her up longer. I wouldn't let a child that young stay up for more than an hour and a half between naps. Can you swaddle for naps or no? Do you have a dark place with white noise to help her? I wouldn't expect parents of a 4 month old to be okay with CIO and if you push this too far, they will just leave.
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jojosmommy 09:48 AM 09-29-2011
Let me clarify that I will ALLOW her to sleep whenever she pleases however unless she is in a swing/wrapped she will not sleep long. It just so happens that the time she wants to sleep is 9 am and 12. I think she is pushing herself too far and getting overtired but unless I wrap her (NOT LEGAL HERE) or allow her in a swing (ALSO NOT LEGAL) she will fight sleeping.

Catherder- that is what I have been doing. Putting her in when she appears tired, giving her time to go to bed and if she doesn't I take her back out an play (or do so in the office if the other kids are sleeping). My concerns are that she is getting seriously overtired from the attempts to sleep (which she is fighting) and her parents want me to get her a 3 hour nap at any cost which I am not willing to do.
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cheerfuldom 09:50 AM 09-29-2011
ahhhh....I see. Perhaps put her on a time frame where it needs to start working or she needs to find a better fit for daycare. sounds like mom and dad are going to continue holding and swinging to sleep which will make it even harder to get her to adjust to your restrictions at daycare.
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Cat Herder 09:54 AM 09-29-2011
Originally Posted by jojosmommy:
Catherder- that is what I have been doing. Putting her in when she appears tired, giving her time to go to bed and if she doesn't I take her back out an play (or do so in the office if the other kids are sleeping). My concerns are that she is getting seriously overtired from the attempts to sleep (which she is fighting) and her parents want me to get her a 3 hour nap at any cost which I am not willing to do.
Hmm... well she is halfway to the 10am and 2pm "older infant" sleep schedule (2 nap a day) so you are soooo close. IMHO, You are doing better than you think..

Is it possible that this infant has a sleep sheep (or other soother) at home that you don't at daycare?

I use the "heartbeat" setting with small infants very often. Also having mom sleep in one of Dads t-shirts then bringing it to you to put over the crib mat (like a slip-on sheet) will often help. (they smell Mom and Dad)

Have you tried those, yet?

Oh, and a solid three hours is something I would not expect for a few more months. She should still be eating every 4 hours with time to spend those sugar calories and soil a diaper. Maybe they just need a loaned copy of 'What to Expect, The First Year".
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MyAngels 09:57 AM 09-29-2011
What other types of things have you tried to help her rest?

Some things I've used from time to time:

White noise
Dark, quiet, cool room
A certain scent used only at naptime
Lullabye CD on low/repeat
Sleep sack

You know you are right in not using the swaddle/swing technique, the baby will come around with time and consistency .

To answer one of your original questions: I would be candid with the parents about the sleeping issue and all that you are doing to solve it. I say that because that is what I would want if it were my child.
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Tags:infant - behavior, infant care, naptime -infants
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