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Unregistered 11:51 AM 09-12-2013
Any ideas on how to address this mom's lunch comments? We have the same conversation at least twice a week.
DCM: So what are you having for lunch today?
Me: Whatever we are having for lunch
DCM: They eat that? (With a disgusted look)
Me: Yes, especially your son, he loves it. (Her son loves any food)
DCM: Oh I don't think I would like that.

I don't serve any processed meats in my daycare and I'm pretty sure that they are a "kid food family" This conversation has taken place over white bean chili, veggie soup and today over a frittatta with sweet potatoes. It's all pretty "normal" food.
I know it's a little thing but it makes me batty!
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Blackcat31 11:53 AM 09-12-2013
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
Any ideas on how to address this mom's lunch comments? We have the same conversation at least twice a week.
DCM: So what are you having for lunch today?
Me: Whatever we are having for lunch
DCM: They eat that? (With a disgusted look)
Me: Yes, especially your son, he loves it. (Her son loves any food)
DCM: Oh I don't think I would like that.

I don't serve any processed meats in my daycare and I'm pretty sure that they are a "kid food family" This conversation has taken place over white bean chili, veggie soup and today over a frittatta with sweet potatoes. It's all pretty "normal" food.
I know it's a little thing but it makes me batty!
Right after, DCM: Oh I don't think I would like that

I would have said... "Well good thing you don't eat lunch here then." OR I would say "HE eats it NOT you."

Either way, just find a phrase that works for you and smile really big and repeat repeat repeat....

You are serving her child not her. She can eat whatever she wants.
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Cat Herder 11:57 AM 09-12-2013
DCM: "blah, blah, I don't like it...."

You: "DCB, tell Mom the *nice words rule* !!!"

DCB: "If you have nothing nice to say then you should say nothing at all."

You: "Good job DCB!! Little ears are listening everywhere aren't they??? High five! Bye DCM, have a great day."

Or...

DCM: "blah, blah, I don't like it..."

You: "Well, it's a darn good thing you don't eat here. Have a great day!! Bye."

edit...Too funny BC...typing at the same time, again, I see.
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itlw8 11:59 AM 09-12-2013
Yep just say he is a good eater and likes healthy food/

It is good he comes to you to introduce good foods. sounds like dcm is a picky eater.
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Heidi 11:59 AM 09-12-2013
Some people!

We had a potluck over Labor Day weekend (not for dc), and one lady actually looked at a salsa someone brought and loudly said "oh yuck! That's gross!"

REALLY????? Didn't your mama teach you any manners? Who, over the age of 3, does that? Well, this lady, apparently....

By the way, it was wonderful salsa. Chopped tomatoes, cilantro, beans, corn. It could have been a little spicier, but it was yummy! It looked beautiful; fresh and colorful.
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lovemylife 12:02 PM 09-12-2013
One if my DCM said her son hates veggies and won't eat them. He loves them here! Maybe mom just doesn't like that kind of food so she doesn't cook it and assumes dcb doesn't like it either.
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Cat Herder 12:02 PM 09-12-2013
Originally Posted by Heidi:
By the way, it was wonderful salsa. Chopped tomatoes, cilantro, beans, corn. It could have been a little spicier, but it was yummy! It looked beautiful; fresh and colorful.
Sounds awesome! Kudos to those who can make salsa.

There is a skill set to salsa that I just have not mastered... I still end up with spicy paste... Cat Herders spreadable salsa... yeah!
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Heidi 12:09 PM 09-12-2013
Originally Posted by Cat Herder:
Sounds awesome! Kudos to those who can make salsa.

There is a skill set to salsa that I just have not mastered... I still end up with spicy paste... Cat Herders spreadable salsa... yeah!
sounds....yummy?



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MarinaVanessa 12:09 PM 09-12-2013
I'd pick a generic response to reply with and use it every single time she says she wouldn't like to eat your food. Use it every. Single. Time. "That's nice" or just don't say anything at all.

I have a sarcastic/snarky personality sometimes and I personally if I was asked this all the time and DCM remarked "I wouldnt like that" I would so want to say ...
DCM: what are you serving for lunch today.
ME: oh, you probably woildnt like it.

In reality though I'd probably just address it straight out. "Susan, can I ask you not to make faces or make comments about what I serve if you don't like it? I serve nutritious food and work very hard to encourage healthy eating habits to the daycare children. Unfortunately children pick up on cues from grown ups and from other children so I'd hate for the children to see your reaction to the food that I serve them and they now enjoy and then suddenly reject the food. I know that you want to stay informed on your chillds meals and I can appreciate that so when you ask about them please stay positive in your comments or of you like I can give you a list of what we ate at the end of the week so that you can read it at home. Thanks. I appreciate it. "
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Rockgirl 12:10 PM 09-12-2013
Originally Posted by lovemylife:
One if my DCM said her son hates veggies and won't eat them. He loves them here! Maybe mom just doesn't like that kind of food so she doesn't cook it and assumes dcb doesn't like it either.
Kids are so easily influenced by what they hear! Why would a parent project their negative attitudes onto their kids like that?
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Leigh 12:10 PM 09-12-2013
I have the most pleasant, compliant, sweet little DCB here (if every child were like him, I would be in heaven). His only real issue is food...today, I made a chicken casserole. He wasn't even all the way in his seat yet when he stood up and shoved the plate all the way across the table and yelled, "NO, I want a cookie!". When I told him that we don't have cookies at my house, he had a crying meltdown.

I have been through this with him at least 25% of the time at mealtimes...cookie! Animal Cracker! Pizza! Cheese! Cookie again! I have a feeling that he NEVER gets good foods-he doesn't even eat the stuff that most kids his age do: carrots, green beans, peas, eggs, chicken...these are things my other kids love. He often goes hungry at lunchtime because he will only eat the fruit that I serve (and I serve it as dessert, not along with the main dish, and sometimes he won't even eat that). I feel sorry for him that he is so averse to nearly all foods that aren't junk, but I won't change my menu for him, either. His mom just laughs, "oh, he loves cookies. Don't worry, he won't starve". And he won't. It's just so frustrating to see him shove his food away constantly. I know that he is at an age where unfamiliar foods can freak a kid out, but even what I consider "usual" foods make him angry.

I love having this kid, and lunchtime is his ONLY bad time, the rest of the day he is almost abnormally happy. It's all about the parents sometimes.
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MissNic 02:51 PM 09-12-2013
While the sarcasm may be the most tempting answer to this DCM, I've found that if I communicate more openly and effectively, I'm more likely to get the response I want from parents. Although, there are certainly times when I want to say "here's your sign" and walk away.

Instead of your original scenario, perhaps things would work out better if you tried something like this:
DCM: So what are you having for lunch today?
Caregiver: (describes lunch)
DCM: They eat that? (With a disgusted look)
Caregiver: Yes, the children enjoy it very much.
DCM: Oh I don't think I would like that.
Caregiver: That's too bad. Have you ever tried (lunch food)?
DCM: No, I never really have time to cook/we usually eat out/I'm a terrible cook (whatever it is she says)
Caregiver: That's disappointing. Maybe you could join us for lunch sometime. Your son loves (whatever it is for lunch)
When you listen to her words with empathy (and I mean Listen not hear) and respond to the mother's needs, you may find that she's not trying to be difficult at all.

Hope this helps. =)
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MissNic 03:02 PM 09-12-2013
Double posted somehow... weird.
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Angelsj 07:56 PM 09-12-2013
Originally Posted by Cat Herder:
Sounds awesome! Kudos to those who can make salsa.

There is a skill set to salsa that I just have not mastered... I still end up with spicy paste... Cat Herders spreadable salsa... yeah!
Dice tomatoes, jalepenos and red onions into 1/8 in chunks. Chop cilantro. Salt to taste and a twist of lime juice (about 1 tsp per tomato)
It is more a pico de gallo, but so yummy. We call it "tomato salad" here, and sometimes we eat it without chips.
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Cradle2crayons 11:37 PM 09-12-2013
Originally Posted by Cat Herder:
Sounds awesome! Kudos to those who can make salsa.

There is a skill set to salsa that I just have not mastered... I still end up with spicy paste... Cat Herders spreadable salsa... yeah!
Every summer when all the fresh garden veggies are ready to be picked, I make a weekend out of canning fresh salsa. We eat it year round. I make a few different varieties and mmmmmm mmmmm yummy!!
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Play Care 03:41 AM 09-13-2013
Originally Posted by MissNic:
While the sarcasm may be the most tempting answer to this DCM, I've found that if I communicate more openly and effectively, I'm more likely to get the response I want from parents. Although, there are certainly times when I want to say "here's your sign" and walk away.

Instead of your original scenario, perhaps things would work out better if you tried something like this:
DCM: So what are you having for lunch today?
Caregiver: (describes lunch)
DCM: They eat that? (With a disgusted look)
Caregiver: Yes, the children enjoy it very much.
DCM: Oh I don't think I would like that.
Caregiver: That's too bad. Have you ever tried (lunch food)?
DCM: No, I never really have time to cook/we usually eat out/I'm a terrible cook (whatever it is she says)
Caregiver: That's disappointing. Maybe you could join us for lunch sometime. Your son loves (whatever it is for lunch)
When you listen to her words with empathy (and I mean Listen not hear) and respond to the mother's needs, you may find that she's not trying to be difficult at all.

Hope this helps. =)

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Tags:lunch, parent - complains
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