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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>New DCM Just Shows Up Early at My Door
Josiegirl 09:54 AM 03-21-2016
Hope everything's okay Tasha?? I'll bet you'll be glad when this all stops.
KIDZRMYBIZ 09:59 AM 03-21-2016
Wow. That is quite the story! I would like to hear how she took the news of being termed. I had a crazy DCM 2 weeks ago, too, that resulted in her finding alternate care when I wouldn't back down from my policies.

Sometimes it's really hard to pull that trigger when I know I will have an open spot for who knows how long and all the interviewing. And often times I end up just trading one problem for another!
SnowGirl 10:08 AM 03-21-2016
Originally Posted by Josiegirl:
Hope everything's okay Tasha?? I'll bet you'll be glad when this all stops.
I'm just praying that no news is good news.
CalCare 10:37 AM 03-21-2016
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
Yes, this is correct.

There have actually been 3 different unregistered poster's in this thread.

The first one disappearing shortly after the second one appeared.

#1 did return to make one additional comment but has since not posted other than her/his first few posts.

#2 has been the most vocal but is NOT the one that has riled the most feathers.

That would be #3 who has made the LEAST amount of posts but appears to have gotten under everyone's skin rather quickly.

One of the unregistered posters is a regular poster. Of the other two, I've "seen" one around now and then but not so much I'd call them a regular and the other unregistered is UNKNOWN.
Really, only three? I didn't sign in for two posts I made (which were totally normal, non-trolling posts about my experience with centers and that Tasha should get rid of dcm asap! lol) just because it's inconvenient to sign in half the time. I can't imagine there were only 2 other people making all those other unregistered posts. The posts were all so different.

?? Really?
EntropyControlSpecialist 10:41 AM 03-21-2016
Originally Posted by daycarediva:
I would have told her NO at the door.

"Sorry dcm, you did not notify me of your schedule change at least 24 hours in advance so I am unable to request your change." and then I would have told her "See you at 8!" and closed the door. NOPE. I only do schedule changes when I feel like it. I charge extra for them. I have a max # of hours and contracted times for a reason.

7 am doctor appt?

Not knowing about it until the night before?

Sounds like total BS to me.
Bingo!
Blackcat31 11:17 AM 03-21-2016
Originally Posted by CalCare:
Really, only three? I didn't sign in for two posts I made (which were totally normal, non-trolling posts about my experience with centers and that Tasha should get rid of dcm asap! lol) just because it's inconvenient to sign in half the time. I can't imagine there were only 2 other people making all those other unregistered posts. The posts were all so different.

?? Really?
Ok, I am not really sure how to take this......

I only counted posts from where the drama started. I did not count unregistered posters that didnt post within the drama that ensured. My comments about there being only 3 unregistered stand....the drama started within posts made by 3 different users/posters.

The first 100-115 (or so) posts were not dramatic, were not stirring the pot and did not invoke any type of uprising from the masses.

I also recognize your IP as a regular member so in my head don't count you as a normal "unregistered" if that makes sense at all...

ETA.....a 4th unregistered has made an appearance since I originally posted.
EntropyControlSpecialist 11:41 AM 03-21-2016
I made it to the end of this post. That's a lot of drama and, unfortunately, in my 4 years of being open I have seen quite a bit similar to this (at least 4 families off the top of my head).

So sorry that it escalated with the Mom so quickly. I've found that even if you find a way to terminate a contract in the nicest, simplest way possible an offended parent will still find some way to stick it to you. I had this happen two weeks ago and it was terrible. Like you, it was my second termination in two months. I'm advertising to fill the spot currently, but will be taking a full month off to unwind (2 weeks in, 2 or more to go). Perhaps you can do the same.

MANY hugs for your stress.
CalCare 11:43 AM 03-21-2016
oh ok. I thought you were saying there were three people, total, making unregistered posts in this thread which was so shocking to me that there could have been only 2 people other than me. Because some of the posts were supportive and some were pot-stirring. I was like 'wow, I'm so naïve to not realize how much faking is going on here!'. But you didn't mean the whole conversation.
Blackcat31 11:46 AM 03-21-2016
Originally Posted by CalCare:
oh ok. I thought you were saying there were three people, total, making unregistered posts in this thread which was so shocking to me that there could have been only 2 people other than me. Because some of the posts were supportive and some were pot-stirring. I was like 'wow, I'm so naïve to not realize how much faking is going on here!'. But you didn't mean the whole conversation.
My apologies... I should have pointed that out.
But yes, you are correct
Rockgirl 11:49 AM 03-21-2016
These situations are almost always avoidable! How? Parents should enroll their child in a daycare program that operates within hours and policies that work for them. As in, the hours and policies work as they are already. Too many times, they sign up with hopes (or expectations) that they can have things changed to fit them.
NightOwl 12:18 PM 03-21-2016
Dang it, Tasha! Where's the update?
Heidi 12:21 PM 03-21-2016
Originally Posted by Rockgirl:
These situations are almost always avoidable! How? Parents should enroll their child in a daycare program that operates within hours and policies that work for them. As in, the hours and policies work as they are already. Too many times, they sign up with hopes (or expectations) that they can have things changed to fit them.

well, women sometimes marry men with that same attitude!
momofboys 06:43 PM 03-21-2016
Update when you can, Tasha! I hope all is okay!
Josiegirl 02:53 AM 03-22-2016
Well darn. I DO hope you're okay Tasha. An event like this can frazzle a person big time and cause lots of problems. Hope that's not the case.
MissAnn 08:45 AM 03-22-2016
I keep checking back. I really worry about people in here! It's as bad as waiting on my kids to call and my mind goes all kinds of places. Hope she posts soon!
NightOwl 08:53 AM 03-22-2016
Me too, it's driving me nuts. I hope everything is OK.
daycare 09:45 AM 03-22-2016
especially after reading the Parent attacks post from BC.

and didn't one of the unregistered on here say that we are crazy for thinking of being proactive and having a plan in case something like this was going to happen?? Or am I just reading too much ...lol
SnowGirl 09:51 AM 03-22-2016
Originally Posted by daycare:
especially after reading the Parent attacks post from BC.

and didn't one of the unregistered on here say that we are crazy for thinking of being proactive and having a plan in case something like this was going to happen?? Or am I just reading too much ...lol
If you're reading too much into it then I am too!

Tasha, I completely understand if you want to put this whole thing to rest and not talk about it anymore. If you could let us know you're okay, though, whenever you have a chance. Praying for you xoxo
MotherNature 10:10 PM 03-23-2016
Sooo,,,are you ok? What happened?
Mariahsaint 07:43 AM 03-25-2016
Kinda getting worried now. :/

I hope everything is okay.
NillaWafers 08:45 AM 03-25-2016
Perhaps she has decided to steer clear of the forums since all the lovely trolls decided to accuse her of fibbing ect.
Blackcat31 09:27 AM 03-25-2016
Originally Posted by NillaWafers:
Perhaps she has decided to steer clear of the forums since all the lovely trolls decided to accuse her of fibbing ect.
Not all unregistered posters are trolls.

Like everyone they are entitled to their opinion.
Even if other's do not agree.
NillaWafers 09:30 AM 03-25-2016
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
Not all unregistered posters are trolls.

Like everyone they are entitled to their opinion.
Even if other's do not agree.
I was simply postulating why she wasn't coming back. There seemed to be one unregistered who was certain she was lying and followed the subject from one thread to the next. Maybe not a troll but certainly going out of her way.

If I received that kind of reply I'd make myself scarce too. I would most certainly be worried someone I knew had found me and was harassing me for a reason.
Blackcat31 09:54 AM 03-25-2016
Originally Posted by NillaWafers:
I was simply postulating why she wasn't coming back. There seemed to be one unregistered who was certain she was lying and followed the subject from one thread to the next. Maybe not a troll but certainly going out of her way.

If I received that kind of reply I'd make myself scarce too. I would most certainly be worried someone I knew had found me and was harassing me for a reason.
I know but speculation only adds unnecessary fluff to the issue. We can speculate all day and still be no closer to the truth than before.

Also there was more than one unregistered and even the one that said she felt Tasha was lying didn't do it in a mean way.

She (or he) merely stated her opinion of the situation and because other's didn't agree... she (or he) was immediately made out to be the bad guy.

The responses of some of the regular registered members was far worse than the unregistered.

There are 3 sides to every story.

In this case;

Tasha's
the DCM's
and the truth.

We aren't privvy to all the details so we only know what Tasha has posted and a user name brings no more validity to her version than anyone else's.

It's only ONE side to the story.

Now I am not saying Tasha is lying at all. I am just saying I am personally astounded at how quickly others will rally when only hearing one side of things.

I don't give weight or merit to anyone just because they gave a user name.
I care only about content posted and facts as they are presented.

Considering different perspectives in every situation is how we learn and grow.

Taking things at face value limits growth and future perspective.
SnowGirl 01:05 PM 03-25-2016
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
I know but speculation only adds unnecessary fluff to the issue. We can speculate all day and still be no closer to the truth than before.

Also there was more than one unregistered and even the one that said she felt Tasha was lying didn't do it in a mean way.

She (or he) merely stated her opinion of the situation and because other's didn't agree... she (or he) was immediately made out to be the bad guy.

The responses of some of the regular registered members was far worse than the unregistered.

There are 3 sides to every story.

In this case;

Tasha's
the DCM's
and the truth.

We aren't privvy to all the details so we only know what Tasha has posted and a user name brings no more validity to her version than anyone else's.

It's only ONE side to the story.

Now I am not saying Tasha is lying at all. I am just saying I am personally astounded at how quickly others will rally when only hearing one side of things.

I don't give weight or merit to anyone just because they gave a user name.
I care only about content posted and facts as they are presented.

Considering different perspectives in every situation is how we learn and grow.

Taking things at face value limits growth and future perspective.
I don't know.

I went back to the thread in question ("Tasha!!!") and reread the conversation.

It wasn't until "unregistered" on that thread just wouldn't let go of the "Tasha is obviously lying and hiding because she can't back up her outlandish story" rhetoric for several posts that people finally started saying "Okay, enough, you're being mean". At first, all the regular posters were not making "unregistered" out to be a bad guy, but questioning where she came to that conclusion based on the evidence in this thread. Yes, they were questioning her logic, but not attacking her.

She came to a thread that was made to check up on and support Tasha, and brought the unkind speculation from this thread over to that one. Perhaps we could have all been more pragmatic about our approach and simply said, "You speculating like that isn't really helpful. We just want to check up on Tasha, not throw anymore speculation out there." And instead people got into a debate about it.

I think the only member who could have approached it more constructively is me (I simply said "Go away troll"). But, I had already read the whole conversation up to that point and I was frustrated that the debate was even a part of that thread. Yes, she's entitled to her opinion, and she has free speech and all of that. But, I feel like she chose the wrong place and thread to continue the unkind speculation. Those of us who debated and/or defended had a right to let "unregistered" know that, too.

I will, however, be more constructive in my feedback to posters I don't particularly agree with in the future.
Unregistered 01:22 PM 03-25-2016
Originally Posted by SnowGirl:
I don't know.

I went back to the thread in question ("Tasha!!!") and reread the conversation.

It wasn't until "unregistered" on that thread just wouldn't let go of the "Tasha is obviously lying and hiding because she can't back up her outlandish story" rhetoric for several posts that people finally started saying "Okay, enough, you're being mean". At first, all the regular posters were not making "unregistered" out to be a bad guy, but questioning where she came to that conclusion based on the evidence in this thread. Yes, they were questioning her logic, but not attacking her.

She came to a thread that was made to check up on and support Tasha, and brought the unkind speculation from this thread over to that one. Perhaps we could have all been more pragmatic about our approach and simply said, "You speculating like that isn't really helpful. We just want to check up on Tasha, not throw anymore speculation out there." And instead people got into a debate about it.

I think the only member who could have approached it more constructively is me (I simply said "Go away troll"). But, I had already read the whole conversation up to that point and I was frustrated that the debate was even a part of that thread. Yes, she's entitled to her opinion, and she has free speech and all of that. But, I feel like she chose the wrong place and thread to continue the unkind speculation. Those of us who debated and/or defended had a right to let "unregistered" know that, too.

I will, however, be more constructive in my feedback to posters I don't particularly agree with in the future.
Please read it. I was called a liar and the mom in question when I said I thought the mom should be given more than a few hours notice. How would anyone like to have to give up a day of work to find daycare? I was also cursed at by Nannyde. I wasn't treated nice. I'm a long time reader. I post once and awhile, but I've seen this mob mentality before. As I said, I am a licensed teacher and have walked in all types of environments with parents. I don't want to see it as them vs us. I think sometimes this forum does that. I want to see it as two parties caring about a minor's well being. I'm aware some of you solely look at this as a job, but I don't. I feel that view isn't respected at all.
Thriftylady 01:30 PM 03-25-2016
Originally Posted by SnowGirl:
I don't know.

I went back to the thread in question ("Tasha!!!") and reread the conversation.

It wasn't until "unregistered" on that thread just wouldn't let go of the "Tasha is obviously lying and hiding because she can't back up her outlandish story" rhetoric for several posts that people finally started saying "Okay, enough, you're being mean". At first, all the regular posters were not making "unregistered" out to be a bad guy, but questioning where she came to that conclusion based on the evidence in this thread. Yes, they were questioning her logic, but not attacking her.

She came to a thread that was made to check up on and support Tasha, and brought the unkind speculation from this thread over to that one. Perhaps we could have all been more pragmatic about our approach and simply said, "You speculating like that isn't really helpful. We just want to check up on Tasha, not throw anymore speculation out there." And instead people got into a debate about it.

I think the only member who could have approached it more constructively is me (I simply said "Go away troll"). But, I had already read the whole conversation up to that point and I was frustrated that the debate was even a part of that thread. Yes, she's entitled to her opinion, and she has free speech and all of that. But, I feel like she chose the wrong place and thread to continue the unkind speculation. Those of us who debated and/or defended had a right to let "unregistered" know that, too.

I will, however, be more constructive in my feedback to posters I don't particularly agree with in the future.
No maybe I could have also. But really the person who keeps posting is just stirring the pot. And if I were Tasha, after everything that was said, I would be very upset at someone following me around questioning me. But, just us "unregistered" feels they can have have their opinion, even if it is mean spirited. I feel the regular posters also have a right to stand up for what we believe in and support a fellow provider. If not us then who?
SnowGirl 01:41 PM 03-25-2016
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
Please read it. I was called a liar and the mom in question when I said I thought the mom should be given more than a few hours notice. How would anyone like to have to give up a day of work to find daycare? I was also cursed at by Nannyde. I wasn't treated nice. I'm a long time reader. I post once and awhile, but I've seen this mob mentality before. As I said, I am a licensed teacher and have walked in all types of environments with parents. I don't want to see it as them vs us. I think sometimes this forum does that. I want to see it as two parties caring about a minor's well being. I'm aware some of you solely look at this as a job, but I don't. I feel that view isn't respected at all.
In regards to THIS thread, I remember the part of the conversation you're referring to. I was talking about another thread entirely, by the way.

Anyway, you would have given this DCM a week to work out other care, and that's a choice you have every right to make.

Tasha and this DCM were still within the two week trial period, but that was just about to end. If Tasha wanted to end the relationship before the contract became official, she needed to do so that day. The straw that broke the camel's back was the email she received on Saturday, and she acted immediately (sent out a messenger Sunday morning).

There are many ways a provider can handle a situation like this, and Tasha's way was valid. Your way would have been valid. I've been in Tasha's shoes before and I handled it in a less strict way (trying to work with the family), and they never started to respect me or my policies. If there is ever another family to treat me that way, I will be doing it the way Tasha was advised to do it in this thread.

I, like you, desire a partnership with my families, not a "me vs. them". I'm lucky in that I have had that with most of my families save the one.
NightOwl 01:45 PM 03-25-2016
Agree with thrifty. Some may call it mob mentality, I call it sticking up for one another when one who is very familiar is being attacked and called a liar by an unknown person.

Unregistered, you have to see that Tasha has been on this forum for quite some time, but as "Unregistered", you are one of many. Even if you are a regular poster, we have no way of knowing that because you do not have an identifiable name and no track record.

So from our perspective, a regular member was being trash talked by an Unregistered troll. It's just a matter of perception and that's what most of us perceived.

IMHO, and plenty of other do not share this opinion, if you want more credence, more respect, more attention paid to your posts, way less assumptions that you're a troll, then put your name on it.
Rockgirl 01:50 PM 03-25-2016
We can hash out this topic for days....wait, already have! But why? If Tasha chooses to come back and update, she will, but isn't this getting old? Maybe we should put it on the back burner....just a suggestion.
SnowGirl 02:03 PM 03-25-2016
Originally Posted by Rockgirl:
We can hash out this topic for days....wait, already have! But why? If Tasha chooses to come back and update, she will, but isn't this getting old? Maybe we should put it on the back burner....just a suggestion.
Now we're debating whether or not we were unfair to "unregistered"...the debate has evolved. Sigh.

Anyway, you're right. Time to put this topic to rest.
Ariana 05:08 PM 03-25-2016
I personally think that Tasha picked up the phone, chatted with the mom and they worked something out. Maybe she feels she can't tell us that.

I have also been on forums where a lot of crazy stuff was going on behind the scenes that I was completely oblivious too!

Either way, hopefully it's all good
Thriftylady 05:16 PM 03-25-2016
Originally Posted by Ariana:
I personally think that Tasha picked up the phone, chatted with the mom and they worked something out. Maybe she feels she can't tell us that.

I have also been on forums where a lot of crazy stuff was going on behind the scenes that I was completely oblivious too!

Either way, hopefully it's all good

I wish that happened and she would tell us how it worked out. So we could learn a new way to handle things if we need to later on!
Unregistered 01:50 PM 03-26-2016
I was the unreg that posted that dcm only cares abt herself, the "sickofyoazz" term letter and the one who had the family that threatened me. I hope Tasha comes back and updates. I also hope if mom did find the thread, she sees the selfishness of her actions and gets a grip.
none 02:10 PM 03-26-2016
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
I was the unreg that posted that dcm only cares abt herself, the "sickofyoazz" term letter and the one who had the family that threatened me. I hope Tasha comes back and updates. I also hope if mom did find the thread, she sees the selfishness of her actions and gets a grip.
Oops meant to say I am same as "none" i posted also abt nursery and lying mom. Guessed that may have helped explain i wasn't one of the other unreg. I believe i also did a long post yelling at someone who said it was cruel to leave mom 'hangin' or something.

I am a former provider and now dcm. I post here from time to time but not often bc I am not online often.
christine19720 07:58 AM 03-29-2016
Originally Posted by laundrymom:
Well. Water over the bridge now, charge her your biggest contractually allowed fee.
Text it to her::

Hey mom. Your fee for early drop off is ($$) and needs to be paid in cash at pick up or an additional fee will be charged. Care will not be resumed until it's paid.

Plus at pickup there would be a severe lecture about curtesy, respect, and procedure.
I might say something like,

"This mornings events will NOT be repeated. You had no confirmation of me even receiving your message, let alone knowledge of me being able to accommodate an early drop off. This is the only warning I will give. If this happens again I will answer the door with your child's belongings and care will be terminated immediately. Your extra fee for this morning is($$) and needs to be paid in full immediately. "
This👍
Tags:early arrival, late fee, parents - ask too much, passive aggressive
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