Okay so I have a 3 year old DCB and I believe he has a speach delay. Cognitively he understaands what you say with little repetition and can follow simple directions, the only problem here is that he doesn't speak well at all. I knew he had trouble with his speach but it wasn't until I had to do a Toddler Observation project for my Child Growth and Development class that I was taking that I realized exactly how bad it is.

DCB turned 3 in October so he just barely turned 3. According to the textbook the average 3yo should have a vocabulary of 1,000 words but it's still okay if they know half that or twice that many. I doubt DCB knows 50 . I'm including words that he understands when you talk to him but If I were to only count what he can actually say then it would be around 25 and many of those words are really hard to understand.

I've talked to DCM about it in a roundabout way and even in a direct and straight forward way about her getting him evaluated and possibly some speach therapy and have given her the number to Early Intervention and even volunteered to have it done at DC but she always says that "Maybe I'm in denial but kids develop differently and at their own pace and I think he's fine" then just shrugs it off and I know that she won't call the number. Many of my other DC parents have mentioned his delay, my college proffesor pulled me aside after correcting my paper with concerns about DCB and this week my food program representative came by and showed real concern and asked ALOT of questions.

Her questions got me to thinking about where I stand liability wise. My food program specialist asked me things like how long he's been like that, how many words can he say, has he ever been evaluated, have I talked to the parent, how many times, what did I say to her, did I really push the issue, have I given her any written information, have I offered to give her information to resources etc. Now I'm concerned that his mom being in denial and not getting him help could somehow turn into neglect on her part (failure to provide necessary care) and whether it could somehow fall onto me?

Whether or not liability falls onto me I truly think that this child needs help and I want to do something. What else can I do?

Reply

Did you present any information to "back up" your claim or was this just mentioned casually to her as she was at the door? I think if you sat down with her and expressed your concern and the concerns of others you might get somewhere with it?

If you've done this already then there isn't much you can do. Some parents are so far into denial they'll never come out. What I find extremely upsetting is that there is always some story out there that there was a boy exactly like this boy who just all of a sudden started talking perfectly at 4. She likely hears this over and over from friends and then just dismisses a professionals opinion. I also find DR's really bad for telling parents not to worry.

Reply

I have 2 of my kids in speech therapy, and honestly they don't really get super concerned with it until the age of 3 to 4. This boy maybe a late developer, which verbally most boys are.

Reply

Yes that's what upsets me most. She always tells me about how friend said this and how her friend said that and it frustrates me. Her biggest thing is about how she was told by her best friend that her nephew was slow to talk too because younger siblings sometimes don't have the need to learn to talk because the older sibling will do a lot of the talking for them, which I get, she's blaming his older brother to a point but this is far beyond that. I work with this child every day that he's here and he has improved some, but he's here only 2 days a week.

I did offer her the information from class but she laughs and won't look at it. She just said "You're so funny".

My concern here is that my food provider may feel like the child is not getting help that he needs. She was not pleased that he was not getting help. I didn't answer many of her questions and she knew that some I couldn't answer because of privacy etc. but she asked them anyway KWIM? I get the feeling that she was trying to judge my response in a way. I did answer questions as it pertained to me like offering help and resources and mentioning it to DCM. Now I'm concerned that my food program rep may think to call CPS.

I know that to most this might seem like a big assumption but you didn't get questioned by her. She seemed VERY disturbed that DCB still had not been evaluated at minimum. I suppose I should also say that my food specialist came out about 6 months ago and remembers the same DCB, there has been no real dramatic improvement in his speach and I should also mention that this child is family so it does matter to me if CPS is called.

Reply

First of all, make a note in his file at jot down the conversations you have had with mom, her responses, and dates as close as you can recall.

Next, call a meeting with mom. Empathize that you understand that this is hard to think about, but early intervention is SO important, and you know she wants the best for her child. If it's nothing, then you were wrong, and you'll shut up.

I would tell her that the food program person, who sees hundreds of children every week, mentioned she was noticing something. Again, the earlier someone evaluates him and gets him support, if needed, the better. At 3 or 4, there is no stigma, but if he is still struggling with this later in grade school, he will suffer more socially. Kids can be mean! (I know, not a newsflash)

My own son was in speech therapy at 4. Although his vocabulary was that of a 2nd grader, I was the only one that could understand him, and only half the time. I remember how frustrated he used to get at repeating and repeating. One reason I think his vocabulary was so good is because it was a way to try to say it differently, hoping I would understand.

He graduated from speech therapy (and OT and PT) in grade school. Today, at 19, he is a sniper in the army, a job that requires not only physical stamina, but mental stamina and excellent communication skills.

Reply

He is 3. Both of my 18mo DCK's can speak in 2-3 word sentences and can say words clearly. This DCB can only say maybe 25 words, if that and the only sentences that he does say are those that start with "No".
"No dupper" Doesn't want to wear a pull-up.
"No greck" Doesn't want a drink.
"No peepee" etc.

I'm not even expecting him say them correctly. Some words are more of an attempt to say a word but I know what it means and I even count those words (muddy means potty, greck means drink etc). He literally has 25 words in the whole of his vocabulary.
Et, Eat
Muddy, Potty
Greck, Drink
Peepee
Caca
Amgry, Hungry
Ball
Buhball, base ball
Ess, Yes
No
TV
And those are the ones that I can think of right now. I know there are more but not many more. I know that parents and regular caregivers should understand about half of a child's speech at 2 years and about three quarters at 3 years but other than what I've listed I can't understand what he tells me and he usually just gestures, grunts and points to what he wants even when I try to get him to try to say it.

I have a 4yo DCB that's in speach therapy and his mom has commented on how her son had a speach delay of 40% at the other DCB's age and he was already in speach therapy and spoke more words than this DCB. That's what worries me. But I dunno, I guess I'll talk to her one more time and then wait and see what happens?

Reply

That's all you can do....

Reply