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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Surcharges You WISH You Could Add
Pestle 05:58 AM 12-07-2017
It's fun to dream, right?

First poop of the day is free. Second poop is $2. Third poop is $4. Fourth poop and any thereafter are $10 per poop. If I have to change it, I might as well turn it into gold.

$2 surcharge for any poop that requires more than two wipes.

$7 daily surcharge for children whose frequent and elongated joyful shrieks rattle the eardrums, send the cats running, and make the other kids freeze in place and moan nervously.

$2 surcharge per hour for tiny stuntmen. Alternately, send in a second caregiver to hover with their hands three inches away from the child in a catching position all day long. I'm not gonna cramp your style, baby, but I wish you'd stop trying to kill yourself.

$100,000 surcharge for trying to talk me into lowering my rate for you, who just arrived 27 minutes late for pick up.
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MomBoss 06:18 AM 12-07-2017
Charge for cleaning accidents, vomit, diaper leakage...
Charge for every time a child sneezes or drools on you (I get so grossed out lol)
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midaycare 06:21 AM 12-07-2017
Surcharge for super snotty noses. That just grosses me out sooooo much. Daily purchase while potty training. Actually, I might really do that one!
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Pestle 06:46 AM 12-07-2017
Oh, yeah, for sure--but instead of money, a mini bottle of Jack Daniels at pick up for every instance of bodily fluids that got onto MY body!

Yeah, my first month in this job I learned exactly how fast I can get my pants off, and it's not as fast as baby poop soaks through denim.
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Jupadia 06:47 AM 12-07-2017
Surcharge
For the child that reaches into his diaper 15 min after arrival and says "wipe poop" and presents to wipe his hands on himself. No poop at arrival, just waited till he got here to do it.

Surcharge
For parent that arrives with 2 kids during said incendent while provider trying to clean up 2.5 year old.

Fun start to a day.
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MomBoss 06:57 AM 12-07-2017
Originally Posted by midaycare:
Surcharge for super snotty noses. That just grosses me out sooooo much. Daily purchase while potty training. Actually, I might really do that one!
Yes! Charge for every time you have to wipe a nose and a charge if your child gets me sick lol
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Pestle 07:10 AM 12-07-2017
Originally Posted by Jupadia:
Surcharge
For the child that reaches into his diaper 15 min after arrival and says "wipe poop" and presents to wipe his hands on himself.


Maybe we need a billing chart that cross-references "physically taxing," "emotionally taxing," "unsanitary," and "wastes time."
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Baby Beluga 07:18 AM 12-07-2017
Surcharge for each reminder of a rule that is clearly stated in your handbook. Stated multiple times. That you signed. And initialed. And have a copy of.

I'd have more money than Trump
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midaycare 07:27 AM 12-07-2017
Surcharge for not dropping off in a clean diaper. I have one girl who is soaking wet every day. I mean....gross.
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amberrose3dg 07:43 AM 12-07-2017
Originally Posted by midaycare:
Surcharge for not dropping off in a clean diaper. I have one girl who is soaking wet every day. I mean....gross.
I had a girl like that. I think mom dressed her the night before and i think didn't change her. One time she showed up and had leaked through her clothes completely within 30 minutes of arriving. There is no way she was changed before she brought her.
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Unregistered 07:48 AM 12-07-2017
Surcharge every time a parent says my kid woke up at 4:30 am today and wouldn’t go back to sleep. So kid arrives extra cranky and laying all over the floor whining. Has no appetite because he’s extremely tired which results in a mid morning tantrum.
I will never understand what a parent does with a kid at 4:30 am?!? Do they eat ice cream and watch TV?!? I told my own kids go back to sleep!
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Ariana 09:37 AM 12-07-2017
$20 surcharge for not bringing mittens that fit and take me 10 minutes to get on the child. Every time your child takes off said mittens it is $5.


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Pestle 09:44 AM 12-07-2017
Originally Posted by Ariana:
$20 surcharge for not bringing mittens that fit and take me 10 minutes to get on the child. Every time your child takes off said mittens it is $5.

THIS. This with pants and shoes especially.
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daycarediva 10:45 AM 12-07-2017
great idea!

$10 for every time I touch bodily fluid
$2 every time your child has to be reminded of a rule immediately after I just told them.
$5 every time your child attempts to hit/bite/scratch/push/pull etc
$1 for every time your child says "IMMMM DOONNNNEEE."
$1 every time your child says GROSS to vegetables
$50 every time you fail to bring supplies
$5 every time you ask me about a policy you're already aware of.
$50 every time you ask if you have to pay for a day your child was absent
$25/day illness fee for those symptoms that aren't exclusionary, just annoying.
$100 every time a parent is caught in a lie
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storybookending 10:53 AM 12-07-2017
Charge for any time your potty trained child has an accident I have to clean up.

Charge for any time I suspect your child didn’t get put to bed at a reasonable hour.

Charge for wasted food

And I echo the keeping the mittens on except my issue is one child and socks!!
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Hunni Bee 10:54 AM 12-07-2017
-Crying at drop off fee - $20 per incident
-Failure to provide necessary items (nap mat, cap/mittens, etc) - $10 per item per day
-Not picking up after child has been told a certain time - $5 per minute after time child is screaming about
-Inappropriate toy fee - $5 per item
-Teacher Chat Fee - $250 per instance
-Silent Drop Off/Pick Up Fee - $50 per incident
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Leigh 11:49 AM 12-07-2017
$300 per incidence of sending a child to me in a pull up (not allowed here) that will NEVER contain the child's massive poops that happen 10 minutes after drop off.

$1000 per incidence of sending a child to daycare in underwear who isn't potty trained. $1000 more when I find out about underwear by seeing a wet spot on my couch under your child.

$25,000 for asking me to hold your check for 2 weeks because you would like some extra spending money while on your trip to paradise (while I am wondering how people can afford vacations).

$1000 for each incidence of "I didn't know that she was sick" when your child gets sick at 11:30 am every.dang.time. $5000 When you ask if same child can return the next morning after puking on my carpet while pooping her underwear, especially after hearing "i had medicine this morning" after the vomit, and the child was diagnosed with Ebola at the doctor the afternoon before (No, Susan, I do not miss having you as a client).


Stupid surcharge of 6 hits by me with a broom for every time you leave my front door open and let the puppy out. This will multiply by 3 with each incidence. It will multiply by 20 and be accompanied by a monetary fine for when this happens and you don't bother to tell me that puppy is running around the neighborhood because of you.

Surcharge of $100 and penalty of me tattooing reminder on your face for each day you "forget" to return necessary paperwork.

I could do this all day. LOL.
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Pestle 12:32 PM 12-07-2017
Surcharge of one yurt for letting your child sleep in until 9:30 am and sending them in with no breakfast and no chance they'll nap today.

Yes, a yurt. By close of business, I'm going to need a nap myself, and I want to do it on a pile of rugs in a genuine yurt and pretend I'm in Mongolia and won't have to spend my evening cleaning in preparation for tomorrow's hurricane o' children.
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flying_babyb 04:34 PM 12-07-2017
$100 when you drop off at 1135 (Lunch time) and then grandma says " Oh she just got up, she's not gonna nap"

"$7 daily surcharge for children whose frequent and elongated joyful shrieks rattle the eardrums, send the cats running, and make the other kids freeze in place and moan nervously. "
Must be higher! How about $3 a advil I must take just to survive the shrieks!
$10 for EVERY time your child throws a chair
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HappyEverAfter 05:44 PM 12-07-2017
$25 for each time your child points and screeches "BALL" at the top of her lungs. Extra if there isn't even a ball in sight.

$25 for each time your child screams when I am not in their sight. Extra if this screaming causes other children to scream too.

$25 for any child that refuses to nap or at the very least, be quiet during nap time. Extra if they cause other children to wake up.

$25 for any child who comes with an obvious cold. Extra for each other child who catches that cold. Extra if you lie and say it isn't a cold, just allergies.
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sahm1225 06:00 PM 12-07-2017
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
Surcharge every time a parent says my kid woke up at 4:30 am today and wouldn’t go back to sleep. So kid arrives extra cranky and laying all over the floor whining. Has no appetite because he’s extremely tired which results in a mid morning tantrum.
I will never understand what a parent does with a kid at 4:30 am?!? Do they eat ice cream and watch TV?!? I told my own kids go back to sleep!
I had a parent tell me Tuesday that dkg woke up at 5:30an and how Mom was so tired. She says ‘it’s not like there was anything I could do’. She seemed genuinely shocked when I asked why she didn’t just send her back to bed!
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Pestle 06:03 PM 12-07-2017
We kept our kid's room babyproofed with a gate on the open door, and she slept on the floor instead of in a crib. So if she woke up, she was free to wander around all she wanted.

Now that she's a preschooler, she still gets up before we do and usually wanders into the kitchen for a snack and settles down in the living room. I am NOT getting up at five in the morning.
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Mom2Two 12:40 PM 12-08-2017
You guys are funny.

I do charge for "body fluid accidents" $20 and also for no diaper bag/missing supplies $2-$5. But I reeeeaaally want to double the body fluid fee for when it's a poop paint. I've had a few of those... eww!

Sometimes parents seem to assume that something doesn't bother me at all if I don't have a fee attached. If I'm charging for it, they seem to figure out that I mean it!
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Blackcat31 01:19 PM 12-08-2017
I'd love to charge for every text "checking in" on little Snowflake.

I have one family (two parents) that text a half dozen times each day (EACH PARENT) asking how Snowflake is....

Nevermind that Snowflake has been attending full time/daily for over a year and a half now.

It takes every ounce of restraint to not text back "Snowflake who?" or "Oh, Snowflake is here today?" but I don't.......
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MomBoss 01:25 PM 12-08-2017
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
I'd love to charge for every text "checking in" on little Snowflake.

I have one family (two parents) that text a half dozen times each day (EACH PARENT) asking how Snowflake is....

Nevermind that Snowflake has been attending full time/daily for over a year and a half now.

It takes every ounce of restraint to not text back "Snowflake who?" or "Oh, Snowflake is here today?" but I don't.......
When I have parents do this, I make sure I dont text back for a long time (like an hour or so or wait til naptime). Im busy taking care of kids, teaching, meal prep..i dont have time to chat. They can ask how they did at pick up.
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Josiegirl 02:43 AM 12-09-2017
Wear and tear on my home-endless costs
My constant mental state of chaos and confusion and noise disturbance-20 bucks every hour
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LysesKids 06:59 AM 12-11-2017
Originally Posted by Pestle:
Oh, yeah, for sure--but instead of money, a mini bottle of Jack Daniels at pick up for every instance of bodily fluids that got onto MY body!

Yeah, my first month in this job I learned exactly how fast I can get my pants off, and it's not as fast as baby poop soaks through denim.
I totally get that one lol... I take of nothing but babies
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daycarediva 10:10 AM 12-11-2017
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
I'd love to charge for every text "checking in" on little Snowflake.

I have one family (two parents) that text a half dozen times each day (EACH PARENT) asking how Snowflake is....

Nevermind that Snowflake has been attending full time/daily for over a year and a half now.

It takes every ounce of restraint to not text back "Snowflake who?" or "Oh, Snowflake is here today?" but I don't.......
THIS is why I love you! (among other things!)

Can you imagine?

I DO NOT text parents anymore. Everything goes through the app. I do NOT respond until nap time unless it's an emergency. Ain't nobody got time for dat.
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Snowmom 12:34 PM 12-11-2017
Originally Posted by Leigh:

$1000 for each incidence of "I didn't know that she was sick" when your child gets sick at 11:30 am every.dang.time. $5000 When you ask if same child can return the next morning after puking on my carpet while pooping her underwear, especially after hearing "i had medicine this morning" after the vomit, and the child was diagnosed with Ebola at the doctor the afternoon before (No, Susan, I do not miss having you as a client).

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Ariana 12:44 PM 12-11-2017
Originally Posted by Pestle:
Surcharge of one yurt for letting your child sleep in until 9:30 am and sending them in with no breakfast and no chance they'll nap today.

Yes, a yurt. By close of business, I'm going to need a nap myself, and I want to do it on a pile of rugs in a genuine yurt and pretend I'm in Mongolia and won't have to spend my evening cleaning in preparation for tomorrow's hurricane o' children.

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Tags:fees - inconvenience
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