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slpender 11:56 AM 08-24-2012
I have a child in care that is 2 1/2 started in late july before child stayed with Grandparents and then was home all summer with mom (she's a teacher). This child know all their colors, shape, numbers and letters etc. (taught by mom with the help of youtube according to mom) my problem is this child has no self help skills and no social skills what so ever. Takes toys right out of others hands, cannot take off orpout on own shoes etc. Know mom wants to potty train I have been trying to work with child pulling pants up and down and put shoes on and off but she just says I can't and whines. HOw do I even begin to potty train. Help please.
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daycare 11:59 AM 08-24-2012
Originally Posted by slpender:
I have a child in care that is 2 1/2 started in late july before child stayed with Grandparents and then was home all summer with mom (she's a teacher). This child know all their colors, shape, numbers and letters etc. (taught by mom with the help of youtube according to mom) my problem is this child has no self help skills and no social skills what so ever. Takes toys right out of others hands, cannot take off orpout on own shoes etc. Know mom wants to potty train I have been trying to work with child pulling pants up and down and put shoes on and off but she just says I can't and whines. HOw do I even begin to potty train. Help please.
what is in your PT policy ??
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slpender 12:27 PM 08-24-2012
Potty Training Policy

I will be more than happy to help assist parents with the potty training experiences, as long as
We both feel that your child is showing some signs of readiness. Signs of readiness are:
1. Your child can pull their pants down.
2. Your child can remove their diaper.
3. Your child can recognize when they are wet.
4. Your child can recognize when they have a BM.
5. Your child can verbalize that they have to go potty.
6. When asked if they are wet or have had a BM, they are able to answer correctly.

Please do not send your child in clothing with snaps, zippers, one piece outfits, bib overalls or long dresses or skirts. While these outfits are cute, they are very hard for little ones to get out of in time. Children will get discouraged if they can’t make it to the potty on their own

Your child needs to remain in diapers during day care hours until they have shown the ability to express their needs to go potty to me by themselves and have shown the ability to remain accident free in my home for a period of at least 3 weeks.

This is for several reasons: children often appear to be trained in a (calmer, quieter)
home situation, but are not yet able to “listen” to their body’s signals when presented with the
distractions of a group care environment.
I will make the final say as to when it is ok to stop sending your child in diapers. Please understand that I have other children to care for and it poses health and sanitation issues when there are potty accident on the floor.

Thank you for your understanding
Sharon

Notice number one is pulling pants down.

Should I be teaching these self help skills or do I need to tell mom they need to work on them at home. I feel it should not be just my job but that it is a joint effort.
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itlw8 12:35 PM 08-24-2012
You help them pull the pants down.. thn afterward you wait...... and wait somemore. after several minutes they will usually try to pull them up.

same with shoes... make sure they are easy to get on you show how with the first one guiding their hands and then you wait.

lots of waiting and ignoring the whining. tell mom what you are doing on weekends she has time to wait also
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cheerfuldom 12:38 PM 08-24-2012
I do work on self help skills but I agree that it should be a joint effort. I dont potty train at all until it is initiated AND having success at home. Parents have to come up with a plan that is reasonable for a group environment. i dont make kids go to the potty....if this child was whining, carrying on and acting difficult, I would back off. Dont feel that you have to raise this child....you are there to support what is already going on in the home.
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daycare 12:43 PM 08-24-2012
Originally Posted by slpender:
Potty Training Policy

I will be more than happy to help assist parents with the potty training experiences, as long as
We both feel that your child is showing some signs of readiness. Signs of readiness are:
1. Your child can pull their pants down.
2. Your child can remove their diaper.
3. Your child can recognize when they are wet.
4. Your child can recognize when they have a BM.
5. Your child can verbalize that they have to go potty.
6. When asked if they are wet or have had a BM, they are able to answer correctly.

Please do not send your child in clothing with snaps, zippers, one piece outfits, bib overalls or long dresses or skirts. While these outfits are cute, they are very hard for little ones to get out of in time. Children will get discouraged if they can’t make it to the potty on their own

Your child needs to remain in diapers during day care hours until they have shown the ability to express their needs to go potty to me by themselves and have shown the ability to remain accident free in my home for a period of at least 3 weeks.

This is for several reasons: children often appear to be trained in a (calmer, quieter)
home situation, but are not yet able to “listen” to their body’s signals when presented with the
distractions of a group care environment.
I will make the final say as to when it is ok to stop sending your child in diapers. Please understand that I have other children to care for and it poses health and sanitation issues when there are potty accident on the floor.

Thank you for your understanding
Sharon

Notice number one is pulling pants down.

Should I be teaching these self help skills or do I need to tell mom they need to work on them at home. I feel it should not be just my job but that it is a joint effort.
i would be telling mom exactly what you are telling me....

The child has not been able to learn the self help skills necessary to start the process, therefore they are not ready.

tell DCM that if she pushes it too soon, that it could backfire.

Also tell her that you are more than happy to help assist, but that she needs to start the process at home first and help the child mater the skills at home too.

Once the child has mastered that then you can start the process.
Give it a try for about a full week and see how it goes. If you see progress, then keep on moving forward. If you don't then don't waste your time and both of you need to stop.

I put that in my PT policy, because I have some that would PT for three weeks with zero signs of progress and the parents want to keep pushing it.....

this is one thing that the child has complete control over, not us. Don't let the kid put you and the parent in a situation where they learn to use it against you, which I do see when a child get pushed too soon. The kid is PT for so long that it begins to frustrate everyone. The child learns that everyone is frustrated, it becomes a negative process and therefore will slow or stop the process all together. I have had kids that will pee or poop their pants just to make mom and dad mad, because this is the one thing that the parents have ZERO control over.

another thing to remember is that PT will only happen when the child is ready, emotional, physically and developmentally. If their bladder is not fully mature, there's no amount of PT in the world that will help.

one other things that I cant recall if I saw it on your list or not was that one of the signs of readiness is that the child is staying dry for long periods of time.
is that happening???
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Lilbutterflie 12:50 PM 08-24-2012
Just as others have said; if Mom is asking about potty training, let her know the two of you need to work on self help skills first. Let it be a joint effort with you and Mom to work on those self help skills; then working on potty training at home first; THEN potty training at daycare.
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