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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>If She Comes One More Week In Diapers....
iheartkids 11:39 AM 10-23-2012
I don't know how I will contain my frustration! UGH! My oldest DCG is 3 1/2 years old and still not potty trained! I only see her every other week because of how the custody plan is layed out and this is the classic case of both parents being lazy and hoping the other parent will do it on their week! She is smart, she is verbal and she completely understands the concept but every week that she comes back she is STILL in pull ups and she STILL has a rash all over her backside from the pull ups! I take her potty right along with the 3 TWO year olds that I have potty training right now and she can do it all by herself, I don't even need to be in the room with her. AND THEN she will poop. UGH! This girl is not only 3 and 1/2 but she could pass as a kindergartner! I feel kind of...inappropriate changing her poopy diaper cause she is so big! Ugh! Just needed to vent....
Willow 11:54 AM 10-23-2012
Sounds like no one is on the same page, and unfortunately your pushing isn't going to do anything but confuse her more.
Just because she could pass as a kindergartner and can go sometimes when prompted doesn't mean she is at all ready. My goddaughter is 1 1/2 and is fascinated with the process but obviously isn't ready just yet. It has nothing to do with age, or size, but rather cognitive ability. Some kids don't develop the sense or readiness until they are older and there is nothing wrong with that.
Have you talked to the parents? Perhaps they aren't lazy at all but rather prefer to take the child's lead?
Are you prepared to terminate? Reason I ask is this is nothing that can (or should) be forced on any child. If you are uncomfortable with continuing to change her of course that's ok, but you may not have the option to stop if you continue caring for her.
Just because she could pass as a kindergartner and can go sometimes when prompted doesn't mean she is at all ready. My goddaughter is 1 1/2 and is fascinated with the process but obviously isn't ready just yet. It has nothing to do with age, or size, but rather cognitive ability. Some kids don't develop the sense or readiness until they are older and there is nothing wrong with that.
Have you talked to the parents? Perhaps they aren't lazy at all but rather prefer to take the child's lead?
Are you prepared to terminate? Reason I ask is this is nothing that can (or should) be forced on any child. If you are uncomfortable with continuing to change her of course that's ok, but you may not have the option to stop if you continue caring for her.
LK5kids 05:31 PM 10-23-2012
I hate this trend of letting kids stay in pull-ups forever! I did fdc for 10 years and have been out of it 14 yrs. In those days every kid was trained during their second year and it was easy. No forcing kids, no trauma, no tears...and in all those years I never knew a kid still in diapers at age three. Why has it become such a drawn out process? I also owned a large center for two years and the same there-trained before age three-no problem.
I want to put in my handbook that my goal is to have kids out of diapers by age three and I'd like parents to agree to that also.
Do you think it's possible?
I don't want to change BIG kids' diapers
I want to put in my handbook that my goal is to have kids out of diapers by age three and I'd like parents to agree to that also.
Do you think it's possible?
I don't want to change BIG kids' diapers
daycare 05:37 PM 10-23-2012
I have been dealing with this issue with one of my DCK for almost one year now, except my dck is 4.5....................
THis is what it came down to.
I can't control what the parents do, which is obviously like willow said (no one on the same page) so my DCK will go to the bathroom only if I tell them to. They cannot and will not do it on their own. So I had to make a choice. Either don't ask them and end up changing dirty diapers of an also very large 4.5 DCK or I can just ask DCK to use the toilet when they are here and not have to change them. At home DCK wears diapers...
I had to stop caring that the parents were not doing anything about it. Try to shift your focus on to only having to worry about what happens at your house. Do what works for you and DCK at your house and then let it go.
Trust me when I tell you that I feel your pain. Come the first of the year, it will be one year that I have been dealing with the potty drama with my DCK..... I just recently decided a few weeks ago that it was going to be this way and now all is golden....
best of luck to you
THis is what it came down to.
I can't control what the parents do, which is obviously like willow said (no one on the same page) so my DCK will go to the bathroom only if I tell them to. They cannot and will not do it on their own. So I had to make a choice. Either don't ask them and end up changing dirty diapers of an also very large 4.5 DCK or I can just ask DCK to use the toilet when they are here and not have to change them. At home DCK wears diapers...
I had to stop caring that the parents were not doing anything about it. Try to shift your focus on to only having to worry about what happens at your house. Do what works for you and DCK at your house and then let it go.
Trust me when I tell you that I feel your pain. Come the first of the year, it will be one year that I have been dealing with the potty drama with my DCK..... I just recently decided a few weeks ago that it was going to be this way and now all is golden....
best of luck to you
DCBlessings27 07:18 PM 10-23-2012
Ok, this is what I did because I was in a similar position.
My dcg turned 3 in August. She's not super big; she's just solid. So, it's not the most fun to change diapers for her. However, she'd just cry and refuse if asked to try to potty. Her parents were trying, but she and her dad just butted heads about it and ended up in screaming matches. She would literally hold her potty either until nap time or even all day before finally exploding and leaking into her diaper and clothes.
I was worried bc I have her infant sister plus her and had planned on taking some maternity time. I didn't want someone to charge them for two infants or at a non-potty trained rate just bc dcg wasn't potty trained. So, I did what I could since I love this girl and have had her since 8 months.
I asked other providers what worked for them. One mentioned the Potty Time app. I downloaded it to my phone and told dcg that she'd get a stamp for every time she went potty. I started in the morning after I'd downloaded the app. She stayed dry and actually told me when she needed to potty that very day. She stayed dry too at home. She's been telling me when she had to potty every day since then and staying dry except for a few accidents this past weekend and during nap the last couple days. We have had the issue of her now holding #2 in, so we're working on that. I was amazed that my stubborn little dcg went from crying and holding it in to telling me when she needed to potty in a day.
I highly recommend the Potty Time app if you have a smartphone or an iPad or something. They can watch videos, play games, call Rachel (who tells them great job), and track progress. It's been great. I also came up with the idea for the stamps because her parents had tried all sorts of bribes like candy without any luck.
It might be that your dcg isn't ready, but it might just take the right amount of luck like mine. Some support from the parents is always good though. Good luck. She's not 100%, but it's such an improvement!
My dcg turned 3 in August. She's not super big; she's just solid. So, it's not the most fun to change diapers for her. However, she'd just cry and refuse if asked to try to potty. Her parents were trying, but she and her dad just butted heads about it and ended up in screaming matches. She would literally hold her potty either until nap time or even all day before finally exploding and leaking into her diaper and clothes.
I was worried bc I have her infant sister plus her and had planned on taking some maternity time. I didn't want someone to charge them for two infants or at a non-potty trained rate just bc dcg wasn't potty trained. So, I did what I could since I love this girl and have had her since 8 months.
I asked other providers what worked for them. One mentioned the Potty Time app. I downloaded it to my phone and told dcg that she'd get a stamp for every time she went potty. I started in the morning after I'd downloaded the app. She stayed dry and actually told me when she needed to potty that very day. She stayed dry too at home. She's been telling me when she had to potty every day since then and staying dry except for a few accidents this past weekend and during nap the last couple days. We have had the issue of her now holding #2 in, so we're working on that. I was amazed that my stubborn little dcg went from crying and holding it in to telling me when she needed to potty in a day.
I highly recommend the Potty Time app if you have a smartphone or an iPad or something. They can watch videos, play games, call Rachel (who tells them great job), and track progress. It's been great. I also came up with the idea for the stamps because her parents had tried all sorts of bribes like candy without any luck.
It might be that your dcg isn't ready, but it might just take the right amount of luck like mine. Some support from the parents is always good though. Good luck. She's not 100%, but it's such an improvement!
Willow 05:44 AM 10-24-2012
Originally Posted by Kinder Haus:
I hate this trend of letting kids stay in pull-ups forever! I did fdc for 10 years and have been out of it 14 yrs. In those days every kid was trained during their second year and it was easy. No forcing kids, no trauma, no tears...and in all those years I never knew a kid still in diapers at age three. Why has it become such a drawn out process? I also owned a large center for two years and the same there-trained before age three-no problem.
I want to put in my handbook that my goal is to have kids out of diapers by age three and I'd like parents to agree to that also.
Do you think it's possible?
I don't want to change BIG kids' diapers
I hate this trend of letting kids stay in pull-ups forever! I did fdc for 10 years and have been out of it 14 yrs. In those days every kid was trained during their second year and it was easy. No forcing kids, no trauma, no tears...and in all those years I never knew a kid still in diapers at age three. Why has it become such a drawn out process? I also owned a large center for two years and the same there-trained before age three-no problem.
I want to put in my handbook that my goal is to have kids out of diapers by age three and I'd like parents to agree to that also.
Do you think it's possible?
I don't want to change BIG kids' diapers
Because:
1.) we have evolved and learned that forcing a child to potty train before they're ready damages the human psyche
2.) parents are making a lot room and time in their lives for their kids
As a parent I would never contract for care with someone who would institute a policy that forced any developmental skill. Every child is different, you cannot put a time limit on how an individual child processes life and comes to achieve personal success in different areas of their development.