Hello!

My son attends a home daycare one day per week. He has been potty trained since his 3rd birthday. He is now 3.3 months old. He still has to wear a pull up at daycare (which I am fine with), because he will have an accident there. He does tell me at home that he has to go and if it has been ages, I do ask him if he has to go. I asked the provider if she would be willing to tell him he needs to use the bathroom, as I am guessing he may be too shy to ask her, or just go on his own, because he comes home with a soaked pull up. She told me she sees him doing the "potty dance", but misses it, because she gets busy with the other children. And when I asked her if she wouldn't mind telling him to use the toilet after some time has passed, she said her 7 month old grandson keeps her busy, so it is hard for her to ask or tell him. She cares for 6 children at a time.
My question to you...is it normal for a child my son's age, to have full control over the bathroom (going into the bathroom on his own), or does a daycare or provider usually assist with this in the beginning? Like having a set bathroom break time.
I know daycare is busier than home. I completely understand this. My son can pull up and down his pants and underwear himself. He just needs some assistance hopping on the toilet. I'm just unclear as what is normal? Any input would be helpful. Thanks!

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I take children to the potty when they tell me they need to go.

We do go potty upon arrival, after meals/snacks, before and after playground time and before and after naptime as routine.

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I work in a center with 2 and 3 year olds, so lots of new potty training and trained. We have set times we go potty, and if we see anyone showing signs send them to go potty. We also have a small stepstool, so everyone can get on the toilet unassisted, but we also watch to see if they need assistance.

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She sounds lazy imho

I have kids go potty when we do diaper changes. Outside of that, I take them when they ask.

I do not take kids every 20 mins but it's not sounding like you are asking her to do that.

If she is too busy to take kids potty at regular transition times, I would wonder what else she is too busy to do...

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I wouldn't jump to the conclusion that she's lazy.
I would want clarification on what her potty training policy is- especially if it's not written in a handbook or contract.

I will say, if a child couldn't vocalize the need to go and physically get on the toilet by themselves, they wouldn't be toilet training here.

The only time I tell kids "take a bathroom break" is right before nap and that's purely for selfish reasons.

I have a nearly 4 year old who has been in a pull up for almost a year here. He still has accidents 2-3 times a week.
I'm not going to remind him to go. He needs to recognize that for himself. I'm not doing him any favors by taking over the process. Yes, there are some days he goes home in a wet pull up too. I ask him if he stayed dry after nap or outside and he tells me yes (although sometimes that's not true- he just doesn't want to tell me). Sometimes I double check if I visually see it's full but most of the time, I don't. I also don't assist in the bathroom after the first week of PT. I might observe, but don't assist unless absolutely necessary.

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I think it is fair if the provider at least helps. Three year olds are just that, three.

My 6 year old FINALLY decided to stop peeing herself many times a day-she doesnt power struggle for control with other adults so a simple reminder was all she needed with others (not me, it was a battle until I recently decided she should handle it herself, and now Im able to ask if she needs to go without a tantrum.)


To the PP-when my daughter was almost 5 she started a new center (I switched jobs and she came to my childcare) and what the teacher did was wake her in the middle of nap to pee and after a couple of days she stopped nap time peeing. She pee'd right before nap, too.

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If your provider is telling you she cannot take him all the time then that is what you have to work with unless you find other care. What I do personally should not have any impact.

It sounds to me like your child is not potty trained at all and is waiting for an adult to tell him when to go. Your provider is likely trying to send you a message that this is the case. I do not bring kids to the toilet either. When they are potty trained enough to be out of a pullup they go on their own completely. I come in to help wipe a BM but that is it. If a child never asks to go and soaks a pullup every day they are not potty trained. The only reason he is dry at your house is because you are in control of his bodily functions.

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I send all kids to potty & wash hands before breakfast and lunch, and after nap, which is right before snack. For some, those are the only times they go during the day. Others go 6-8 times. But I think it’s reasonable to expect the provider to have him go a few times, especially since he’s doing so great at home. I love having daycare parents who have put in the work at home, and I’m definitely willing to support that. I’d rather assist a child in the restroom than keep changing their diapers.

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You said it was her grandson...maybe there is some favortism there. It isnt hard to verbally tell a child to go

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