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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>What Would You Do???
JJPlaycare 06:12 AM 03-07-2012
I have a family who has threatened to leave 3 times in the last 2 years because I won't take their children 15-30 mins early or late each day. She says is all they are asking for is 15-30 mins. and cant seem to understand why I am not willing to do this. I have 3 children and a family of my own. I do childcare for 12 children 10 hours a day. She texted me lastnight when I told her no they couldnt come early and said well then I guess we need to start looking for someone else. All in a text message. I didn't reply, I am not having that type of discussion through text messaging. This am she drops off all pouty, doesn't look at me or say a word to me. I try to kill her with kindness and say see ya later, have a nice day, just as I do every morning she turned around and shut the door and didn't say a word. I have bent over backwards for this family, but I give a little and they take a mile and I am just sick and tired of it and have begun to put my foot down and this is how they treat me. Tired of it.... What would you do, take her idle threats? Wait for a notice? or give her one and don't allow her to have the worthiness of giving me one?
Zoe 06:24 AM 03-07-2012
I would be honest with her and call her on her threats. Just say "hey dcm, are you giving me notice? Because I need it in writing for two weeks with two weeks pay and that will give me enough time to fill dck's spot." If she gets all wishy washy on you and backtracks, tell her that you do not appreciate her threats and you will NOT be changing your policies for her. Any more talk about it will result in an immediate termination notice from you. That's what I would say. I don't like being threatened.
Sunshine44 06:25 AM 03-07-2012
I'd have a term paper waiting if you can afford it. Show them they can't do that to people. Tell her you assumed that was her notice.
nannyde 06:27 AM 03-07-2012
I would take them early and let them be late as long as it was scheduled in advance and paid in advance at a dollar a minute per child.
If they are asking you to do it for free then there is your problem. Attach money to it and they will only use it when they really need it.
Whenever something is for free it just doesn't have any value. When she says "She says is all they are asking for is 15-30 mins. and cant seem to understand why I am not willing to do this." she's saying it's no big deal. It shouldn't be a big deal to you. BELIEVE HER PLEASE.
The big deal is that it's free or very low in price. Set the price high and then you will automatically show her how valuable it is. She just needs to learn that the time itself is valuable and how valuable it really is.
If they are asking you to do it for free then there is your problem. Attach money to it and they will only use it when they really need it.
Whenever something is for free it just doesn't have any value. When she says "She says is all they are asking for is 15-30 mins. and cant seem to understand why I am not willing to do this." she's saying it's no big deal. It shouldn't be a big deal to you. BELIEVE HER PLEASE.
The big deal is that it's free or very low in price. Set the price high and then you will automatically show her how valuable it is. She just needs to learn that the time itself is valuable and how valuable it really is.
MrsB 06:31 AM 03-07-2012
First of all I'd like to say yay for you for having a backbone!
Second, if she has a need, you can't meet. It is well within her right to find care elsewhere that does meet her needs. I would try not to take it personal. Although it is hard sometimes.
The only thing I would do differently is say to her. "These are my available hours and I am not willing to budge on them. I understand if that doesnt meet your needs and you need to find someone else." Let the rest be her problem.
Second, if she has a need, you can't meet. It is well within her right to find care elsewhere that does meet her needs. I would try not to take it personal. Although it is hard sometimes.
The only thing I would do differently is say to her. "These are my available hours and I am not willing to budge on them. I understand if that doesnt meet your needs and you need to find someone else." Let the rest be her problem.
CheekyChick 06:42 AM 03-07-2012
I would have a talk with her and tell her that you're sorry you can't accomodate her needs and that you completely understand that she will need to find a new provider that opens a bit earlier.
JenNJ 06:51 AM 03-07-2012
I would start interviewing for a new family and tell her that if she is giving notice, you need it in writing. Otherwise she needs to stop threatening you.
LittleD 06:54 AM 03-07-2012
30 mins a day= 4.5 hrs/week= (approx) 18 hrs mth= 216 hrs per year (approx)
YES, it is a big deal! And chances are they say 15-30 mins, and maybe some days it will be 10 mins early/late, but chances are it's more likely to be 20-25 mins, cuz lets face it, 20 mins is closer to 15, but if they want to drop off pick up 30 mins, it's already been requested so she can do it.
I can get a lot done in 15 mins, and twice as much in 30. Why do they need all this extra time?
I'm assuming she wants this included in her regular price?
Like Nan says, put a price on what those extra 30 mins a day is worth to you then double or triple it. It's almost a half a shift extra per week for you.
YES, it is a big deal! And chances are they say 15-30 mins, and maybe some days it will be 10 mins early/late, but chances are it's more likely to be 20-25 mins, cuz lets face it, 20 mins is closer to 15, but if they want to drop off pick up 30 mins, it's already been requested so she can do it.
I can get a lot done in 15 mins, and twice as much in 30. Why do they need all this extra time?
I'm assuming she wants this included in her regular price?
Like Nan says, put a price on what those extra 30 mins a day is worth to you then double or triple it. It's almost a half a shift extra per week for you.
lilcupcakes09 07:04 AM 03-07-2012
I agree! I would stand my ground, that extra half hour each day adds up, and we have our own families. The fact that she is threatening you would really tick me off, if you have another family to replace her, I would do so.....if not, keep them, but don't let her "run your business", YOU are the owner of your business and it's your rules. Considering she had done it over the last two years, she is probably just blowing smoke to get you to give in, BUT DON'T!!! Good Luck
Breezy 07:27 AM 03-07-2012
Ask her if she would mind working for 15 minutes off the clock everyday before her scheduled work time
Soupyszoo 08:16 AM 03-07-2012
I would either put a high price on early drop off and late pickup so you could make some extra money. OOOOOR I would start advertising to fill their spot, fill it and term them. I don't like drama. Definitely don't do it for free. And don't take threats.
bunnyslippers 10:12 AM 03-07-2012
I would evaluate how you feel. If you wouldn't mind doing it if she paid you, then I would allow it and charge her $1 per minute. If it is just something you do not have the time or energy for, then hold oyur ground and don't do it. Explain that it is just not something you have time for, and let her know that if she would like to give her two week notice then she should do that.
Sometimes those 15 minutes extra a day can make you want to scream - figure out what is best for you and don't let the pattern continue.
Sometimes those 15 minutes extra a day can make you want to scream - figure out what is best for you and don't let the pattern continue.
daycare 10:57 AM 03-07-2012
not sure if you read my other post about coming early or staying late..
If you take it upon yourself to show up early, sorry, the door wont be open.
If you show up late, I will charge you $1.00 per min each min your late
If you ask me to open early I may do it, but it will cost you $10.00 per child, even if it is 10min early or 1 hour max. I cannot and will not guarantee you that I can even if you ask
If you ask me to stay later you can, but it will cost you $10.00 up to one hour max.
Ever since I started this, no one asks..
If you take it upon yourself to show up early, sorry, the door wont be open.
If you show up late, I will charge you $1.00 per min each min your late
If you ask me to open early I may do it, but it will cost you $10.00 per child, even if it is 10min early or 1 hour max. I cannot and will not guarantee you that I can even if you ask
If you ask me to stay later you can, but it will cost you $10.00 up to one hour max.
Ever since I started this, no one asks..
DBug 11:02 AM 03-07-2012
Manipulative threats like that really get my back up 
I'd say "So how's your search for new care going?" or "I just heard that so-and-so has an opening at her daycare. Here's her number." every once in awhile. Call her bluff, so to speak.
I haven't had mean-spirited threats like this before, but I have had parents doing the wistful looks and outright flattery when they wanted me to go back on changing my hours. I just said "We all have to do what's right for our own families, and if that means you have to look elsewhere, I'd be happy to help. Here's the website of a new center opening up close by."
I'd say "So how's your search for new care going?" or "I just heard that so-and-so has an opening at her daycare. Here's her number." every once in awhile. Call her bluff, so to speak.
I haven't had mean-spirited threats like this before, but I have had parents doing the wistful looks and outright flattery when they wanted me to go back on changing my hours. I just said "We all have to do what's right for our own families, and if that means you have to look elsewhere, I'd be happy to help. Here's the website of a new center opening up close by."
saved4always 11:23 AM 03-07-2012
Totally agree with what others here have said.
If you are willing to do it if she pays more, let her know that you can do it but, like Nan said, it will cost her $1.00 a minute.
If this is not something you want to do for ANY amount of money, tell her that you cannot accomodate longer hours so she should either give her written notice or shut up (I guess you would need to use a little more diplomatic words, but you kwim
).
If you are willing to do it if she pays more, let her know that you can do it but, like Nan said, it will cost her $1.00 a minute.
If this is not something you want to do for ANY amount of money, tell her that you cannot accomodate longer hours so she should either give her written notice or shut up (I guess you would need to use a little more diplomatic words, but you kwim
).
jenn 11:37 AM 03-07-2012
I tell my parents that the only way I do early drop offs is if it is prearranged and the rate is 50 cents per minute. Late pick ups can't always be prearranged due to bad traffic, forced overtime..., but there is a $1 per minute charge, since that takes away my family time. Since they have to pay extra, they only do it when really necessary.
JJPlaycare 08:34 AM 03-08-2012
Do you keep all of your families on the same contract? If I offer this to this family I feel like I have to offer it to all of my families and I am going to have kids here everyday alot longer than planned.
daycare 08:42 AM 03-08-2012
Originally Posted by JJPlaycare:
Do you keep all of your families on the same contract? If I offer this to this family I feel like I have to offer it to all of my families and I am going to have kids here everyday alot longer than planned.
I have all of the same rules, however, I do often have to make changes to individualize each families contract to suit their needs.Do you keep all of your families on the same contract? If I offer this to this family I feel like I have to offer it to all of my families and I am going to have kids here everyday alot longer than planned.
Blackcat31 08:46 AM 03-08-2012
Originally Posted by JJPlaycare:
Do you keep all of your families on the same contract? If I offer this to this family I feel like I have to offer it to all of my families and I am going to have kids here everyday alot longer than planned.
NOPE. Individual families have individual needs so they all have individual contracts. What you offer one family has NOTHING to do with what you offer others. Do you keep all of your families on the same contract? If I offer this to this family I feel like I have to offer it to all of my families and I am going to have kids here everyday alot longer than planned.
I personally would NEVER offer care outside my normal hours but if this is something you are willing to do, I would absolutely place some tough rules attached to it. I would charge a VERY hefty fee and would offer it only with really advanced notice and only if it worked into my personal plans/family life.
wdmmom 08:51 AM 03-08-2012
If you don't have notice by tomorrow, I would hand her a slip of paper on Monday that itemizes out what she owes for the next 2 weeks and tell her that it must be paid in full by Wednesday.
You will be giving her notice. Then maybe she'll get a clue!
You will be giving her notice. Then maybe she'll get a clue!
Ariana 09:17 AM 03-08-2012
Originally Posted by nannyde:
I would take them early and let them be late as long as it was scheduled in advance and paid in advance at a dollar a minute per child.
If they are asking you to do it for free then there is your problem. Attach money to it and they will only use it when they really need it.
Whenever something is for free it just doesn't have any value. When she says "She says is all they are asking for is 15-30 mins. and cant seem to understand why I am not willing to do this." she's saying it's no big deal. It shouldn't be a big deal to you. BELIEVE HER PLEASE.
The big deal is that it's free or very low in price. Set the price high and then you will automatically show her how valuable it is. She just needs to learn that the time itself is valuable and how valuable it really is.
This exactly! If she's wanting extra time over and above her contracted time then she pays extra. Sounds pretty simple to me!!I would take them early and let them be late as long as it was scheduled in advance and paid in advance at a dollar a minute per child.
If they are asking you to do it for free then there is your problem. Attach money to it and they will only use it when they really need it.
Whenever something is for free it just doesn't have any value. When she says "She says is all they are asking for is 15-30 mins. and cant seem to understand why I am not willing to do this." she's saying it's no big deal. It shouldn't be a big deal to you. BELIEVE HER PLEASE.
The big deal is that it's free or very low in price. Set the price high and then you will automatically show her how valuable it is. She just needs to learn that the time itself is valuable and how valuable it really is.
I wouldn't allow someone to treat me like this anyway and I'd be serving her the term papers if I could afford to do it!!
JJPlaycare 11:29 AM 03-08-2012
I need help writing a termination letter. Any help??
wdmmom 11:37 AM 03-08-2012
Dear Family,
Please allow this to serve as notice. The daycare will no longer be able to provide services for your family after (date).
It has been a pleasure working for you for the past (number of years.)
As always, I wish your family the best on all future endeavors.
(Your name)
Short, sweet and to the point.
Please allow this to serve as notice. The daycare will no longer be able to provide services for your family after (date).
It has been a pleasure working for you for the past (number of years.)
As always, I wish your family the best on all future endeavors.
(Your name)
Short, sweet and to the point.
Blackcat31 11:44 AM 03-08-2012
Originally Posted by JJPlaycare:
I need help writing a termination letter. Any help??
I am assumming this is for the family that is wanting extra hours....I need help writing a termination letter. Any help??
Dear Family;
This letter is written notice of my intent to discontinue providing childcare services.
IN light of your current needs, I feel that I am not a good fit and it would be best if you could find a provider who is better able to meet your schedualing needs.
Here is the number to our local Child Care Resource and Referral: (***)***-***x.
The last day I will be able to provide services is March, xx, 2012.
Sincerely, Child Care Provider.
JJPlaycare 08:00 AM 03-09-2012
I wrote them a letter stating why I have contracted hours and why I need to stick to them. I said if they are truely leaving then I will need their 2 week notice in writing on Monday. A little more than that, but that pretty much sums it up. Thanks for all your help ladies
JJPlaycare 10:28 AM 03-12-2012
Dear _____________ Family,
I understand the need for longer hours of care as your workplace schedule and location have changed. I am unsure if you are needing the extra 15 minutes you speak of on a daily basis or a here and there type of thing. We never communicated or discussed any sort of scheduling change. My childcare operates from 7am-5pm, Monday through Friday and you are well aware of this. I asked you if my hours were going to work when you informed me of your job change and its location. You assured me that they would and that you would make my hours work. At that point in time I thought we had an understanding that the boys would be here from 7am-5pm, Monday- Friday which are my regular daycare hours.
Since you have taken the new job staying late or coming early has been a daily occurrence. Your job has a start and a stop time and I hope that you can respect that mine deserves to have one too. I dedicate 10 hours a day to childcare on a daily basis and the remaining hours in a day needs to be dedicated to my family. I have contracted hours for a reason and I need to stick to them. Before 7am I am busy getting my children ready for school and after 5pm I am busy taking my children to their activities and having my own family time. I am willing to do an occasional extension of hours, if it works out into my schedule. There will be an additional fee for the extended amount of time.
Ultimately you need to do what is best for your family as I will do what is best for mine. If finding different childcare is what you feel needs to happen, then I will need this in writing by Monday, March 12, 2012 to serve as your 2 week notice. Childcare is my job and my source of income and I will need to contact a family off my waiting list to fill your spot if you are choosing to leave and I hope that you can understand this. I would love to continue to work with your family as it has been a pleasure, but if your new schedule doesn’t coincide with mine then I wish you the best of luck.
Thank you,
I understand the need for longer hours of care as your workplace schedule and location have changed. I am unsure if you are needing the extra 15 minutes you speak of on a daily basis or a here and there type of thing. We never communicated or discussed any sort of scheduling change. My childcare operates from 7am-5pm, Monday through Friday and you are well aware of this. I asked you if my hours were going to work when you informed me of your job change and its location. You assured me that they would and that you would make my hours work. At that point in time I thought we had an understanding that the boys would be here from 7am-5pm, Monday- Friday which are my regular daycare hours.
Since you have taken the new job staying late or coming early has been a daily occurrence. Your job has a start and a stop time and I hope that you can respect that mine deserves to have one too. I dedicate 10 hours a day to childcare on a daily basis and the remaining hours in a day needs to be dedicated to my family. I have contracted hours for a reason and I need to stick to them. Before 7am I am busy getting my children ready for school and after 5pm I am busy taking my children to their activities and having my own family time. I am willing to do an occasional extension of hours, if it works out into my schedule. There will be an additional fee for the extended amount of time.
Ultimately you need to do what is best for your family as I will do what is best for mine. If finding different childcare is what you feel needs to happen, then I will need this in writing by Monday, March 12, 2012 to serve as your 2 week notice. Childcare is my job and my source of income and I will need to contact a family off my waiting list to fill your spot if you are choosing to leave and I hope that you can understand this. I would love to continue to work with your family as it has been a pleasure, but if your new schedule doesn’t coincide with mine then I wish you the best of luck.
Thank you,
JJPlaycare 10:29 AM 03-12-2012
I gave the letter to them Friday morning. I fully expected SOMETHING this morning, but to my surprise nothing. She walked in, quit the silent treatment and acted as though nothing has gone on, dropped the boys off and left! Now I am unsure what to do......
MrsB 10:31 AM 03-12-2012
Originally Posted by JJPlaycare:
Dear _____________ Family,
I understand the need for longer hours of care as your workplace schedule and location have changed. I am unsure if you are needing the extra 15 minutes you speak of on a daily basis or a here and there type of thing. We never communicated or discussed any sort of scheduling change. My childcare operates from 7am-5pm, Monday through Friday and you are well aware of this. I asked you if my hours were going to work when you informed me of your job change and its location. You assured me that they would and that you would make my hours work. At that point in time I thought we had an understanding that the boys would be here from 7am-5pm, Monday- Friday which are my regular daycare hours.
Since you have taken the new job staying late or coming early has been a daily occurrence. Your job has a start and a stop time and I hope that you can respect that mine deserves to have one too. I dedicate 10 hours a day to childcare on a daily basis and the remaining hours in a day needs to be dedicated to my family. I have contracted hours for a reason and I need to stick to them. Before 7am I am busy getting my children ready for school and after 5pm I am busy taking my children to their activities and having my own family time. I am willing to do an occasional extension of hours, if it works out into my schedule. There will be an additional fee for the extended amount of time.
Ultimately you need to do what is best for your family as I will do what is best for mine. If finding different childcare is what you feel needs to happen, then I will need this in writing by Monday, March 12, 2012 to serve as your 2 week notice. Childcare is my job and my source of income and I will need to contact a family off my waiting list to fill your spot if you are choosing to leave and I hope that you can understand this. I would love to continue to work with your family as it has been a pleasure, but if your new schedule doesn’t coincide with mine then I wish you the best of luck.
Thank you,
Dear _____________ Family,
I understand the need for longer hours of care as your workplace schedule and location have changed. I am unsure if you are needing the extra 15 minutes you speak of on a daily basis or a here and there type of thing. We never communicated or discussed any sort of scheduling change. My childcare operates from 7am-5pm, Monday through Friday and you are well aware of this. I asked you if my hours were going to work when you informed me of your job change and its location. You assured me that they would and that you would make my hours work. At that point in time I thought we had an understanding that the boys would be here from 7am-5pm, Monday- Friday which are my regular daycare hours.
Since you have taken the new job staying late or coming early has been a daily occurrence. Your job has a start and a stop time and I hope that you can respect that mine deserves to have one too. I dedicate 10 hours a day to childcare on a daily basis and the remaining hours in a day needs to be dedicated to my family. I have contracted hours for a reason and I need to stick to them. Before 7am I am busy getting my children ready for school and after 5pm I am busy taking my children to their activities and having my own family time. I am willing to do an occasional extension of hours, if it works out into my schedule. There will be an additional fee for the extended amount of time.
Ultimately you need to do what is best for your family as I will do what is best for mine. If finding different childcare is what you feel needs to happen, then I will need this in writing by Monday, March 12, 2012 to serve as your 2 week notice. Childcare is my job and my source of income and I will need to contact a family off my waiting list to fill your spot if you are choosing to leave and I hope that you can understand this. I would love to continue to work with your family as it has been a pleasure, but if your new schedule doesn’t coincide with mine then I wish you the best of luck.
Thank you,
MrsB 10:35 AM 03-12-2012
Originally Posted by JJPlaycare:
I gave the letter to them Friday morning. I fully expected SOMETHING this morning, but to my surprise nothing. She walked in, quit the silent treatment and acted as though nothing has gone on, dropped the boys off and left! Now I am unsure what to do......
Sometimes silence is compliance. Why do you need to do something? I would say that since you didnt get 2 weeks notice, maybe she decided to make your hours work. Or maybe she is finding another provider before she gives you 2 weeks notice. Just make sure you follow through with any lateness.I gave the letter to them Friday morning. I fully expected SOMETHING this morning, but to my surprise nothing. She walked in, quit the silent treatment and acted as though nothing has gone on, dropped the boys off and left! Now I am unsure what to do......
JJPlaycare 10:40 AM 03-12-2012
I just felt like she would at least apologize or give me notice, but just to go on like nothing..... If they are looking for childcare then so be it, but that is another way they are disrespecting me when and if they find it, by not talking to me or telling me their plans, or giving me notice when I requested it!
wdmmom 11:01 AM 03-12-2012
Did they come in early? See if they stay late tonight?
If they aren't in compliance with your rules, give them notice this Friday that next Friday will be their last day.
If they aren't in compliance with your rules, give them notice this Friday that next Friday will be their last day.
MrsB 11:19 AM 03-12-2012
I do not mean any disrespect, just trying to play devils advocate and speaking from personal experience.
The reason they didnt apologize is probably one of 2 reasons.
1. They didnt know they upset you. No where in your letter did you let them know that you felt taken advantage of or that you felt disrespected.
or
2. They are the type of people that try to avoid conflict or discussion on uncomfortable situations at all cost.
If you wanted them to discuss it with you, then you should have requested that in your letter. I have learned alot in this business that alot of parents wont talk unless asked directly. Especially, if it is because they have been reminded/told/updated on policy or rules. If you want to discuss it, maybe at pickup you should mention it.
The reason they didnt apologize is probably one of 2 reasons.
1. They didnt know they upset you. No where in your letter did you let them know that you felt taken advantage of or that you felt disrespected.
or
2. They are the type of people that try to avoid conflict or discussion on uncomfortable situations at all cost.
If you wanted them to discuss it with you, then you should have requested that in your letter. I have learned alot in this business that alot of parents wont talk unless asked directly. Especially, if it is because they have been reminded/told/updated on policy or rules. If you want to discuss it, maybe at pickup you should mention it.
daycare 11:47 AM 03-12-2012
Originally Posted by MrsB:
I do not mean any disrespect, just trying to play devils advocate and speaking from personal experience.
The reason they didnt apologize is probably one of 2 reasons.
1. They didnt know they upset you. No where in your letter did you let them know that you felt taken advantage of or that you felt disrespected.
or
2. They are the type of people that try to avoid conflict or discussion on uncomfortable situations at all cost.
If you wanted them to discuss it with you, then you should have requested that in your letter. I have learned alot in this business that alot of parents wont talk unless asked directly. Especially, if it is because they have been reminded/told/updated on policy or rules. If you want to discuss it, maybe at pickup you should mention it.
I do not mean any disrespect, just trying to play devils advocate and speaking from personal experience.
The reason they didnt apologize is probably one of 2 reasons.
1. They didnt know they upset you. No where in your letter did you let them know that you felt taken advantage of or that you felt disrespected.
or
2. They are the type of people that try to avoid conflict or discussion on uncomfortable situations at all cost.
If you wanted them to discuss it with you, then you should have requested that in your letter. I have learned alot in this business that alot of parents wont talk unless asked directly. Especially, if it is because they have been reminded/told/updated on policy or rules. If you want to discuss it, maybe at pickup you should mention it.
Well said...
COMMUNICATION IS KEY....
Blackcat31 11:58 AM 03-12-2012
I would ask mom straight out at pick up if she read the letter and then I would ask her if she is ok with that and whether or not I should take her silence as a sign of understanding.
I would never just allow her to gloss over this issue with silence. I don't care what type of person she is. I want to know she heard, understood and is agreeing to follow my policies.
I would never just allow her to gloss over this issue with silence. I don't care what type of person she is. I want to know she heard, understood and is agreeing to follow my policies.
JJPlaycare 12:27 PM 03-12-2012
Thats exactly how I feel BlackCat and I plan on asking them if they recieved/read my letter and if they understand everything in it. I believe they need to tell me something one way or another, or at least that would be the respectful thing to do! 
Today they actually arrived 20 mins late and didn't seem in any sort of hurry. 
I have ALWAYS had good communication with all of my families except with this one family and it is throwing me through the ringer, I don't know if I am comming or going with them! I believe communication is a key aspect in ALL relationships and I truely believe this family thinks I am a mind reader. Not judging, they can be who they are, its just different for me on the communication aspect and I am having a hard time understanding it. Its like they pout for a week and then act like nothing went on and life goes on, REALLY, I have lost sleep over all this. I get what you are saying by not showing myself being disrespected or taken advantage of in the letter. I wanted to be professional in my letter, but wanted to be honest and straight forward with them in why I have hours and so forth and I thought at the very least they would come talk to me about it, but instead I still don't know what is going on and just have to I guess go with it. I am going to bring it up for my own good and sanity and see what they say.
Today they actually arrived 20 mins late and didn't seem in any sort of hurry. I have ALWAYS had good communication with all of my families except with this one family and it is throwing me through the ringer, I don't know if I am comming or going with them! I believe communication is a key aspect in ALL relationships and I truely believe this family thinks I am a mind reader. Not judging, they can be who they are, its just different for me on the communication aspect and I am having a hard time understanding it. Its like they pout for a week and then act like nothing went on and life goes on, REALLY, I have lost sleep over all this. I get what you are saying by not showing myself being disrespected or taken advantage of in the letter. I wanted to be professional in my letter, but wanted to be honest and straight forward with them in why I have hours and so forth and I thought at the very least they would come talk to me about it, but instead I still don't know what is going on and just have to I guess go with it. I am going to bring it up for my own good and sanity and see what they say.
MrsB 12:43 PM 03-12-2012
Originally Posted by JJPlaycare:
Thats exactly how I feel BlackCat and I plan on asking them if they recieved/read my letter and if they understand everything in it. I believe they need to tell me something one way or another, or at least that would be the respectful thing to do! Today they actually arrived 20 mins late and didn't seem in any sort of hurry. I have ALWAYS had good communication with all of my families except with this one family and it is throwing me through the ringer, I don't know if I am comming or going with them! I believe communication is a key aspect in ALL relationships and I truely believe this family thinks I am a mind reader. Not judging, they can be who they are, its just different for me on the communication aspect and I am having a hard time understanding it. Its like they pout for a week and then act like nothing went on and life goes on, REALLY, I have lost sleep over all this. I get what you are saying by not showing myself being disrespected or taken advantage of in the letter. I wanted to be professional in my letter, but wanted to be honest and straight forward with them in why I have hours and so forth and I thought at the very least they would come talk to me about it, but instead I still don't know what is going on and just have to I guess go with it. I am going to bring it up for my own good and sanity and see what they say.
Im so glad you have made a stand against this family! I definately think that you deserve an apology. You are such a great provider for realizing the importance of communication. Unfortunatley, not everyone is that great at it!Thats exactly how I feel BlackCat and I plan on asking them if they recieved/read my letter and if they understand everything in it. I believe they need to tell me something one way or another, or at least that would be the respectful thing to do!
Today they actually arrived 20 mins late and didn't seem in any sort of hurry. I have ALWAYS had good communication with all of my families except with this one family and it is throwing me through the ringer, I don't know if I am comming or going with them! I believe communication is a key aspect in ALL relationships and I truely believe this family thinks I am a mind reader. Not judging, they can be who they are, its just different for me on the communication aspect and I am having a hard time understanding it. Its like they pout for a week and then act like nothing went on and life goes on, REALLY, I have lost sleep over all this. I get what you are saying by not showing myself being disrespected or taken advantage of in the letter. I wanted to be professional in my letter, but wanted to be honest and straight forward with them in why I have hours and so forth and I thought at the very least they would come talk to me about it, but instead I still don't know what is going on and just have to I guess go with it. I am going to bring it up for my own good and sanity and see what they say.
I was just trying to make that point. Some people aren't that great at communication, and if you want something specific from them, you have to spell it out. Which is kind of said, but is what it is. You can still be professional and tell them you feel like they have taken advantage of you and your policies. Best of luck!I have different relationships with my DCFs. Some I can talk about anything, we are friendly, they stay and we chat about life, family,etc. Then their are those that think that being friendly means, you dont have to follow my rules. Sounds like this family might be the second type.
Blackcat31 12:59 PM 03-12-2012
Originally Posted by JJPlaycare:
Thats exactly how I feel BlackCat and I plan on asking them if they recieved/read my letter and if they understand everything in it. I believe they need to tell me something one way or another, or at least that would be the respectful thing to do! Today they actually arrived 20 mins late and didn't seem in any sort of hurry. I have ALWAYS had good communication with all of my families except with this one family and it is throwing me through the ringer, I don't know if I am comming or going with them! I believe communication is a key aspect in ALL relationships and I truely believe this family thinks I am a mind reader. Not judging, they can be who they are, its just different for me on the communication aspect and I am having a hard time understanding it. Its like they pout for a week and then act like nothing went on and life goes on, REALLY, I have lost sleep over all this. I get what you are saying by not showing myself being disrespected or taken advantage of in the letter. I wanted to be professional in my letter, but wanted to be honest and straight forward with them in why I have hours and so forth and I thought at the very least they would come talk to me about it, but instead I still don't know what is going on and just have to I guess go with it. I am going to bring it up for my own good and sanity and see what they say.
with this added info on how this family behaves not only would I say something about the letter but I would say something like Thats exactly how I feel BlackCat and I plan on asking them if they recieved/read my letter and if they understand everything in it. I believe they need to tell me something one way or another, or at least that would be the respectful thing to do!
Today they actually arrived 20 mins late and didn't seem in any sort of hurry. I have ALWAYS had good communication with all of my families except with this one family and it is throwing me through the ringer, I don't know if I am comming or going with them! I believe communication is a key aspect in ALL relationships and I truely believe this family thinks I am a mind reader. Not judging, they can be who they are, its just different for me on the communication aspect and I am having a hard time understanding it. Its like they pout for a week and then act like nothing went on and life goes on, REALLY, I have lost sleep over all this. I get what you are saying by not showing myself being disrespected or taken advantage of in the letter. I wanted to be professional in my letter, but wanted to be honest and straight forward with them in why I have hours and so forth and I thought at the very least they would come talk to me about it, but instead I still don't know what is going on and just have to I guess go with it. I am going to bring it up for my own good and sanity and see what they say."Ya know Joann, I feel like I am a pretty open kind of person and I know that when something is bothering me I will address the issue right away. I am sort of feeling like you have been unhappy or maybe not entirely ok with things here sometimes and I would like to make sure that you know that I want very much for you to come to me when you have a question or if something is up.
I can't guarantee that I will always be able to accommodate you but I would atleast like to open the lines of communication so that we can work together while we share this time in Billy's life."
Maybe not so lengthy and wordy (
) but you get the point.
daycare 01:08 PM 03-12-2012
Originally Posted by JJPlaycare:
Thats exactly how I feel BlackCat and I plan on asking them if they recieved/read my letter and if they understand everything in it. I believe they need to tell me something one way or another, or at least that would be the respectful thing to do! Today they actually arrived 20 mins late and didn't seem in any sort of hurry. I have ALWAYS had good communication with all of my families except with this one family and it is throwing me through the ringer, I don't know if I am comming or going with them! I believe communication is a key aspect in ALL relationships and I truely believe this family thinks I am a mind reader. Not judging, they can be who they are, its just different for me on the communication aspect and I am having a hard time understanding it. Its like they pout for a week and then act like nothing went on and life goes on, REALLY, I have lost sleep over all this. I get what you are saying by not showing myself being disrespected or taken advantage of in the letter. I wanted to be professional in my letter, but wanted to be honest and straight forward with them in why I have hours and so forth and I thought at the very least they would come talk to me about it, but instead I still don't know what is going on and just have to I guess go with it. I am going to bring it up for my own good and sanity and see what they say.
So Sorry that you are going through this. I know it takes time to develop a back bone, but trust me when I tell you how much happier you will be when you put your foot down and just say NO. The more you do it, the easier it will get.Thats exactly how I feel BlackCat and I plan on asking them if they recieved/read my letter and if they understand everything in it. I believe they need to tell me something one way or another, or at least that would be the respectful thing to do!
Today they actually arrived 20 mins late and didn't seem in any sort of hurry. I have ALWAYS had good communication with all of my families except with this one family and it is throwing me through the ringer, I don't know if I am comming or going with them! I believe communication is a key aspect in ALL relationships and I truely believe this family thinks I am a mind reader. Not judging, they can be who they are, its just different for me on the communication aspect and I am having a hard time understanding it. Its like they pout for a week and then act like nothing went on and life goes on, REALLY, I have lost sleep over all this. I get what you are saying by not showing myself being disrespected or taken advantage of in the letter. I wanted to be professional in my letter, but wanted to be honest and straight forward with them in why I have hours and so forth and I thought at the very least they would come talk to me about it, but instead I still don't know what is going on and just have to I guess go with it. I am going to bring it up for my own good and sanity and see what they say.I hope that everything works out for you....
JJPlaycare 06:56 AM 03-13-2012
Well I asked dad at pickup if they got my letter. He said yes. I said did you read it he said she did and then just told him that they can only be there from 7-5. I said we need to communicate about everything alot better and felt like I was talking to no one as he sat and stared into the carseat the whole time. He didn't answer any of my questions and his body language showed me he didn't want to talk to me about it. I said a bit, but then asked if he would have mom call me because we need to chat. She did call me on her way home. I asked about the letter and she said yes she got it and she understands and I said well I felt as though you were upset all last week and I don't feel there is anything you should be upset at me about. I don't know what is going on as we never sat down and discussed anything. She said she was more embarrassed then upset. She said her text was uncalled for and completely rude and she didn't even know what to say last week cause she was embarrassed. She said she was just having one of those days and she shouldn't have ever snapped and texted me like that. So she was very apologetic, we got some things cleared up and I think we are on the same page now. She was able to talk to her boss and he is willing to be flexible with her hours so they are able to make the 7-5 work. We ended up having a very good conversation and she even told me that her and her husband sat down and had a talk about their own communication because she didn't even know he was late those two days till she got my letter. He has never really down any of the drop off/pick up. Here and there yes, but not alot and she said he just needed to be told how important 5-15 minutes really is and she said she made him well aware of that. Anyway, thank you all for your advice. I think for now we got this all cleared up and hopefully we can continue. This morning went really good and she was very jolly and even spoke to me! Thanks again ladies
Blackcat31 07:05 AM 03-13-2012
Originally Posted by JJPlaycare:
Well I asked dad at pickup if they got my letter. He said yes. I said did you read it he said she did and then just told him that they can only be there from 7-5. I said we need to communicate about everything alot better and felt like I was talking to no one as he sat and stared into the carseat the whole time. He didn't answer any of my questions and his body language showed me he didn't want to talk to me about it. I said a bit, but then asked if he would have mom call me because we need to chat. She did call me on her way home. I asked about the letter and she said yes she got it and she understands and I said well I felt as though you were upset all last week and I don't feel there is anything you should be upset at me about. I don't know what is going on as we never sat down and discussed anything. She said she was more embarrassed then upset. She said her text was uncalled for and completely rude and she didn't even know what to say last week cause she was embarrassed. She said she was just having one of those days and she shouldn't have ever snapped and texted me like that. So she was very apologetic, we got some things cleared up and I think we are on the same page now. She was able to talk to her boss and he is willing to be flexible with her hours so they are able to make the 7-5 work. We ended up having a very good conversation and she even told me that her and her husband sat down and had a talk about their own communication because she didn't even know he was late those two days till she got my letter. He has never really down any of the drop off/pick up. Here and there yes, but not alot and she said he just needed to be told how important 5-15 minutes really is and she said she made him well aware of that. Anyway, thank you all for your advice. I think for now we got this all cleared up and hopefully we can continue. This morning went really good and she was very jolly and even spoke to me! Thanks again ladies
That is fantastic!!!!!! Well I asked dad at pickup if they got my letter. He said yes. I said did you read it he said she did and then just told him that they can only be there from 7-5. I said we need to communicate about everything alot better and felt like I was talking to no one as he sat and stared into the carseat the whole time. He didn't answer any of my questions and his body language showed me he didn't want to talk to me about it. I said a bit, but then asked if he would have mom call me because we need to chat. She did call me on her way home. I asked about the letter and she said yes she got it and she understands and I said well I felt as though you were upset all last week and I don't feel there is anything you should be upset at me about. I don't know what is going on as we never sat down and discussed anything. She said she was more embarrassed then upset. She said her text was uncalled for and completely rude and she didn't even know what to say last week cause she was embarrassed. She said she was just having one of those days and she shouldn't have ever snapped and texted me like that. So she was very apologetic, we got some things cleared up and I think we are on the same page now. She was able to talk to her boss and he is willing to be flexible with her hours so they are able to make the 7-5 work. We ended up having a very good conversation and she even told me that her and her husband sat down and had a talk about their own communication because she didn't even know he was late those two days till she got my letter. He has never really down any of the drop off/pick up. Here and there yes, but not alot and she said he just needed to be told how important 5-15 minutes really is and she said she made him well aware of that. Anyway, thank you all for your advice. I think for now we got this all cleared up and hopefully we can continue. This morning went really good and she was very jolly and even spoke to me! Thanks again ladies
I am so glad that you decided to just put it all out there and help them open up with you more about communicating.
I think if I were that mom and dad I would feel as though your actions show you care very much about their family and didn't just write them off!!
I am soooo happy things worked out and hope after all of this you end up building a great, open and honest relationship with this family.
MrsB 07:06 AM 03-13-2012
Originally Posted by JJPlaycare:
Well I asked dad at pickup if they got my letter. He said yes. I said did you read it he said she did and then just told him that they can only be there from 7-5. I said we need to communicate about everything alot better and felt like I was talking to no one as he sat and stared into the carseat the whole time. He didn't answer any of my questions and his body language showed me he didn't want to talk to me about it. I said a bit, but then asked if he would have mom call me because we need to chat. She did call me on her way home. I asked about the letter and she said yes she got it and she understands and I said well I felt as though you were upset all last week and I don't feel there is anything you should be upset at me about. I don't know what is going on as we never sat down and discussed anything. She said she was more embarrassed then upset. She said her text was uncalled for and completely rude and she didn't even know what to say last week cause she was embarrassed. She said she was just having one of those days and she shouldn't have ever snapped and texted me like that. So she was very apologetic, we got some things cleared up and I think we are on the same page now. She was able to talk to her boss and he is willing to be flexible with her hours so they are able to make the 7-5 work. We ended up having a very good conversation and she even told me that her and her husband sat down and had a talk about their own communication because she didn't even know he was late those two days till she got my letter. He has never really down any of the drop off/pick up. Here and there yes, but not alot and she said he just needed to be told how important 5-15 minutes really is and she said she made him well aware of that. Anyway, thank you all for your advice. I think for now we got this all cleared up and hopefully we can continue. This morning went really good and she was very jolly and even spoke to me! Thanks again ladies
I am so glad that you got the apology that you deserved!Well I asked dad at pickup if they got my letter. He said yes. I said did you read it he said she did and then just told him that they can only be there from 7-5. I said we need to communicate about everything alot better and felt like I was talking to no one as he sat and stared into the carseat the whole time. He didn't answer any of my questions and his body language showed me he didn't want to talk to me about it. I said a bit, but then asked if he would have mom call me because we need to chat. She did call me on her way home. I asked about the letter and she said yes she got it and she understands and I said well I felt as though you were upset all last week and I don't feel there is anything you should be upset at me about. I don't know what is going on as we never sat down and discussed anything. She said she was more embarrassed then upset. She said her text was uncalled for and completely rude and she didn't even know what to say last week cause she was embarrassed. She said she was just having one of those days and she shouldn't have ever snapped and texted me like that. So she was very apologetic, we got some things cleared up and I think we are on the same page now. She was able to talk to her boss and he is willing to be flexible with her hours so they are able to make the 7-5 work. We ended up having a very good conversation and she even told me that her and her husband sat down and had a talk about their own communication because she didn't even know he was late those two days till she got my letter. He has never really down any of the drop off/pick up. Here and there yes, but not alot and she said he just needed to be told how important 5-15 minutes really is and she said she made him well aware of that. Anyway, thank you all for your advice. I think for now we got this all cleared up and hopefully we can continue. This morning went really good and she was very jolly and even spoke to me! Thanks again ladies
Cheers to moving in the right direction!
MarinaVanessa 07:32 AM 03-13-2012
That's wonderful that everything worked out great. You gave them some perspective and cleared the air to start again. Isn't it great when things turn out for the best?!
Unregistered 09:23 AM 03-13-2012
I guess it depends on how many hours the children are in your care. My hours are from
7am-5pm. (This ensure the maximum amount a child is in my care is 10 hours)
I can take children in at any time between those hours without any extra fees or charges even if a child normally comes at 8:30 and is picked up at 4:30 on most days. They are welcome to be dropped off or picked up anytime between my hours of operation without any questions asked. If however the children need to come @ 6:30am one day or stay until 5:30pm another. I charge an extra 5$ per 30 minutes. So normal rate is 25$ per day full days but if child requires care from 6:30-5:30 it is 35$. Works good for me and I don't mind taking the kids a little early or a little late because I know I am making a little extra pocket money. BUT it needs to be a prior agreement between dcp and myself. (Outside my normal operating hours I mean). If there was no prior agreement to keep child past regular hours it is 1$ per minute. Same deal goes for early drop offs. If you show up on my doorstep @ 6:40am with no prior notice I will charge you 1$ for every minute that your child is in my care until 7am.
I also have 3 children of my own and need to have things planned out properly in order to get my older kids out the door to school in the morning or in order to plan our evenings. I do not like surprise pop ins or surprise late pick ups.
7am-5pm. (This ensure the maximum amount a child is in my care is 10 hours)
I can take children in at any time between those hours without any extra fees or charges even if a child normally comes at 8:30 and is picked up at 4:30 on most days. They are welcome to be dropped off or picked up anytime between my hours of operation without any questions asked. If however the children need to come @ 6:30am one day or stay until 5:30pm another. I charge an extra 5$ per 30 minutes. So normal rate is 25$ per day full days but if child requires care from 6:30-5:30 it is 35$. Works good for me and I don't mind taking the kids a little early or a little late because I know I am making a little extra pocket money. BUT it needs to be a prior agreement between dcp and myself. (Outside my normal operating hours I mean). If there was no prior agreement to keep child past regular hours it is 1$ per minute. Same deal goes for early drop offs. If you show up on my doorstep @ 6:40am with no prior notice I will charge you 1$ for every minute that your child is in my care until 7am.
I also have 3 children of my own and need to have things planned out properly in order to get my older kids out the door to school in the morning or in order to plan our evenings. I do not like surprise pop ins or surprise late pick ups.