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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Spinoff - Parents Leave Then Want to Come Back
AmyKidsCo 11:16 AM 06-09-2016
Lovemydaycare and Childcaremom's posts got me thinking...
There are lots of posts about a family leaving then changing their minds and wanting to come back.
What do you think would happen if WE terminated, then changed our minds and asked the family to come back?
There are lots of posts about a family leaving then changing their minds and wanting to come back.
What do you think would happen if WE terminated, then changed our minds and asked the family to come back?
spedmommy4 11:23 AM 06-09-2016
Does that happen? 
I've termed once and I definitely did not want to see the family again after that. I don't know about others, but it takes a lot to push me to terminate care.
I've termed once and I definitely did not want to see the family again after that. I don't know about others, but it takes a lot to push me to terminate care.
EntropyControlSpecialist 11:23 AM 06-09-2016
I don't know of any terminated family that isn't slightly offended ...so I don't think any would come back. 
lovemydaycare0912 11:39 AM 06-09-2016
Haha, they would curse us out or think we were crazy. I would not ever ask a termed family to come back.
I don't think people understand the power their words have. At one point or another, you have to grow up and learn to speak and communicate effectively as an adult. If you have a concern, learn to voice it in an appropriate manner. Blurting out things doesn't work too well in your favor.
I don't think people understand the power their words have. At one point or another, you have to grow up and learn to speak and communicate effectively as an adult. If you have a concern, learn to voice it in an appropriate manner. Blurting out things doesn't work too well in your favor.
Rockgirl 11:43 AM 06-09-2016
If I'm to the point of terming, I definitely won't be asking them to come back! 
AmyKidsCo 11:51 AM 06-09-2016
Originally Posted by Rockgirl:
If I'm to the point of terming, I definitely won't be asking them to come back!
Me neither! If I'm to the point of terming, I definitely won't be asking them to come back!
So many parents think it's OK to term then expect us to welcome them back with open arms. I was just wondering what if the shoe was on the other foot.
Rockgirl 11:57 AM 06-09-2016
Originally Posted by AmyKidsCo:
Me neither!
So many parents think it's OK to term then expect us to welcome them back with open arms. I was just wondering what if the shoe was on the other foot.
I have one that would come back in a heartbeat. She has hinted numerous times that she wished dcg was still with me. I wanted to say, "Yeah....guess all those late pickups on your days off weren't the best idea, huh?"Me neither!
So many parents think it's OK to term then expect us to welcome them back with open arms. I was just wondering what if the shoe was on the other foot.
Blackcat31 12:04 PM 06-09-2016
It happened to me. 
About three years ago I termed a family with a five-month-old baby. I waffled back-and-forth for a long time before finally deciding to terminate care. NOT because they were a bad family (they were actually very very good) but because I just didn't want a baby in care full-time. I hadn't had a baby in a long time and don't even know why I enrolled the baby in the first place....
Anyways, I made the decision that I wanted to be baby free so I termed the family. I gave them the names of several other providers that had openings so they found other care no problem.
About six months later I ran into the DCM in Target. We got to chatting and she started telling me how she was looking at other day cares because she just wasn't able to find anybody that she was really comfortable with.
Before I even knew what I was saying I said "I have space if you'd like to come back to my care" I had another child that I had been contemplating termination of care for so I figured I would just replace the tough child with this ex-family.
The family gave notice to their current provider and REstarted with me the following week. I still have the child in care today... they one of the best families I've ever had, termed and took back.
So I suppose anything is possible.... especially in this profession.
About three years ago I termed a family with a five-month-old baby. I waffled back-and-forth for a long time before finally deciding to terminate care. NOT because they were a bad family (they were actually very very good) but because I just didn't want a baby in care full-time. I hadn't had a baby in a long time and don't even know why I enrolled the baby in the first place....
Anyways, I made the decision that I wanted to be baby free so I termed the family. I gave them the names of several other providers that had openings so they found other care no problem.
About six months later I ran into the DCM in Target. We got to chatting and she started telling me how she was looking at other day cares because she just wasn't able to find anybody that she was really comfortable with.
Before I even knew what I was saying I said "I have space if you'd like to come back to my care" I had another child that I had been contemplating termination of care for so I figured I would just replace the tough child with this ex-family.
The family gave notice to their current provider and REstarted with me the following week. I still have the child in care today... they one of the best families I've ever had, termed and took back.
So I suppose anything is possible.... especially in this profession.
KiwiKids 12:12 PM 06-09-2016
I termed a family with a high needs infant because I was pregnant and knew that it would be too much for me to handle both babies along with three older preschoolers. I gave them three months of notice ( until my due date ) so they would have plenty of time to find a new daycare. Down the road when they needed care for that same child who was now a 2yr old, they came back and It worked out perfectly.
Second Home 12:17 PM 06-09-2016
Originally Posted by EntropyControlSpecialist:
I don't know of any terminated family that isn't slightly offended ...so I don't think any would come back.
I terminated 1 family because the older child became aggressive towards others . 2 years later dcm calls back and asks if I would watch the younger dck part time . I don't know of any terminated family that isn't slightly offended ...so I don't think any would come back.
I said yes , then her schedule changed and they didn't stay .
Controlled Chaos 12:25 PM 06-09-2016
I termed a pair of twins that were here 2 days a week. I wanted to only do FT. I in reality still have 2 families that share a spot, but I had that hardest time finding 2 MWF families to fill in around the twins, I finally termed to make room for another family's infant and a new dcf. I know if the scheduling worked they would be happy to come back. The only other family I termed was due to them refusing vaccinating, if I changed my rule I know they would be back in a heartbeat. I fortunately have not had to term anyone for not following procedures or behavior...yet 
happymom 01:03 PM 06-09-2016
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
Anyways, I made the decision that I wanted to be baby free so I termed the family. I gave them the names of several other providers that had openings so they found other care no problem.
About six months later I ran into the DCM in Target. We got to chatting and she started telling me how she was looking at other day cares because she just wasn't able to find anybody that she was really comfortable with.
Before I even knew what I was saying I said "I have space if you'd like to come back to my care" I had another child that I had been contemplating termination of care for so I figured I would just replace the tough child with this ex-family.
The family gave notice to their current provider and REstarted with me the following week. I still have the child in care today... they one of the best families I've ever had, termed and took back.
So I suppose anything is possible.... especially in this profession.
I wouldn't be shocked if my ex DCP did this for me. I left because I was having a baby a month after another DCM. She had committed to the other mom first and was unable to have both infants in her care.Anyways, I made the decision that I wanted to be baby free so I termed the family. I gave them the names of several other providers that had openings so they found other care no problem.
About six months later I ran into the DCM in Target. We got to chatting and she started telling me how she was looking at other day cares because she just wasn't able to find anybody that she was really comfortable with.
Before I even knew what I was saying I said "I have space if you'd like to come back to my care" I had another child that I had been contemplating termination of care for so I figured I would just replace the tough child with this ex-family.
The family gave notice to their current provider and REstarted with me the following week. I still have the child in care today... they one of the best families I've ever had, termed and took back.
So I suppose anything is possible.... especially in this profession.
Ultimately we ended up at a center and it meets our needs very well and we are happy, but if we were leaving the center and she had the space I think we'd absolutely be welcomed back with open arms. We love each other so much but I don't think we are a good fit anymore since she now transports children and I am not comfortable with my children being transported.
Ariana 02:35 PM 06-09-2016
Originally Posted by Rockgirl:
If I'm to the point of terming, I definitely won't be asking them to come back!
If I'm to the point of terming, I definitely won't be asking them to come back!
Unregistered 10:03 PM 06-11-2016
No, because I don't term at the drop of the hat as it seems a lot here do. I would never term a good family. All of the families I termed we either manipulators and/or liars. A few have asked to be taken back and I say no.
spud912 01:50 AM 06-12-2016
I have one right now! I took a newborn despite advertising as a preschool. I loved the family and knew the older daughter would leave too if I couldn't take dcb. I quickly learned that it was not going to work out so I termed (while crying!). I actually became friends with dcm, took dcm during school breaks, and now have dcm AND the dcb temporarily over this summer. Dcb is 3 years old now. I wish we could keep him but dcm is pregnant with her 3rd and doesn't want to juggle her already long commute plus multiple child cares.
spud912 01:53 AM 06-12-2016
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
No, because I don't term at the drop of the hat as it seems a lot here do. I would never term a good family. All of the families I termed we either manipulators and/or liars. A few have asked to be taken back and I say no.
I'm not one to term lightly, but it is possible to take back a child, especially if the reasons were similar to mine (child is too young to balance in a prek atmosphere but eventually ages into it).No, because I don't term at the drop of the hat as it seems a lot here do. I would never term a good family. All of the families I termed we either manipulators and/or liars. A few have asked to be taken back and I say no.
Josiegirl 03:09 AM 06-12-2016
Something similar to BC happened to me. I took on a 9 mo sibling but she was extremely needy and during the 2 week trial I knew it wasn't working out at all! She always wanted to be picked up, slept 45 minutes the first day and never at all after that. I was so stressed out. 
I told dcps it just was not working out.
So they took her to a center, 4 months later said her sleeping was very good, etc. So I was very glad they asked me again and I chanced it. What a world of difference in that child! That was over 2 yrs. ago and I still have her.
All the others that I've termed, no way at all would I have accepted them back. And the ones that decided to leave on their own and wanting to come back, I never took them back either. If I wasn't meeting their needs the first time around, I'm sure nothing much had changed.
I told dcps it just was not working out. So they took her to a center, 4 months later said her sleeping was very good, etc. So I was very glad they asked me again and I chanced it. What a world of difference in that child! That was over 2 yrs. ago and I still have her.
All the others that I've termed, no way at all would I have accepted them back. And the ones that decided to leave on their own and wanting to come back, I never took them back either. If I wasn't meeting their needs the first time around, I'm sure nothing much had changed.
Unregistered 05:21 PM 06-12-2016
Originally Posted by spud912:
I'm not one to term lightly, but it is possible to take back a child, especially if the reasons were similar to mine (child is too young to balance in a prek atmosphere but eventually ages into it).
I don't think you should have taken the child to begin with. If the situation was reversed, you took the child but the parents felt the child was too young after being there, you wouldn't like it. Like I said, I don't do things the way a lot of posters do here.I'm not one to term lightly, but it is possible to take back a child, especially if the reasons were similar to mine (child is too young to balance in a prek atmosphere but eventually ages into it).
Unregistered 05:39 PM 06-12-2016
I like the original question. In my mind it runs like this:
Provider: You did/didn't do xyz and therefore I hereby terminate service.
Parent: Oh, please please please don't. Oh, and now I hate you.
Provider: You are definitely terminated!
2 days later:
Provider calls parent: I was just mad, didn't mean it, please please please come back!
Parent: -----------------I imagine silence here, but YOU fill in the blanks-----
Provider: You did/didn't do xyz and therefore I hereby terminate service.
Parent: Oh, please please please don't. Oh, and now I hate you.
Provider: You are definitely terminated!
2 days later:
Provider calls parent: I was just mad, didn't mean it, please please please come back!
Parent: -----------------I imagine silence here, but YOU fill in the blanks-----
sharlan 08:14 PM 06-12-2016
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
I like the original question. In my mind it runs like this:
Provider: You did/didn't do xyz and therefore I hereby terminate service.
Parent: Oh, please please please don't. Oh, and now I hate you.
Provider: You are definitely terminated!
2 days later:
Provider calls parent: I was just mad, didn't mean it, please please please come back!
Parent: -----------------I imagine silence here, but YOU fill in the blanks-----
I like the original question. In my mind it runs like this:
Provider: You did/didn't do xyz and therefore I hereby terminate service.
Parent: Oh, please please please don't. Oh, and now I hate you.
Provider: You are definitely terminated!
2 days later:
Provider calls parent: I was just mad, didn't mean it, please please please come back!
Parent: -----------------I imagine silence here, but YOU fill in the blanks-----
I don't know of any family that would come back under those circumstances.
I termed a family 30 years ago because they had a new baby. I didn't want a newborn infant. SIDS has always worried me. When the baby was 6 mos old, they called and asked if they could come back yet. That baby turned 30 last week.
spud912 07:31 AM 06-13-2016
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
I don't think you should have taken the child to begin with. If the situation was reversed, you took the child but the parents felt the child was too young after being there, you wouldn't like it. Like I said, I don't do things the way a lot of posters do here.
Except that all parents know that I have a 2 week trial period. Every parent should know there's a possibility things might not work out. And if it did work out, I would have been able to keep a family I had for 2 years. Either way there were no hard feelings....obviously because they are back I don't think you should have taken the child to begin with. If the situation was reversed, you took the child but the parents felt the child was too young after being there, you wouldn't like it. Like I said, I don't do things the way a lot of posters do here.
. It was a win/win for all parties involved and I don't think any of us would have done thinks differently.
daycarediva 10:14 AM 06-13-2016
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
It happened to me.
About three years ago I termed a family with a five-month-old baby. I waffled back-and-forth for a long time before finally deciding to terminate care. NOT because they were a bad family (they were actually very very good) but because I just didn't want a baby in care full-time. I hadn't had a baby in a long time and don't even know why I enrolled the baby in the first place....
Anyways, I made the decision that I wanted to be baby free so I termed the family. I gave them the names of several other providers that had openings so they found other care no problem.
About six months later I ran into the DCM in Target. We got to chatting and she started telling me how she was looking at other day cares because she just wasn't able to find anybody that she was really comfortable with.
Before I even knew what I was saying I said "I have space if you'd like to come back to my care" I had another child that I had been contemplating termination of care for so I figured I would just replace the tough child with this ex-family.
The family gave notice to their current provider and REstarted with me the following week. I still have the child in care today... they one of the best families I've ever had, termed and took back.
So I suppose anything is possible.... especially in this profession.
It happened to me.
About three years ago I termed a family with a five-month-old baby. I waffled back-and-forth for a long time before finally deciding to terminate care. NOT because they were a bad family (they were actually very very good) but because I just didn't want a baby in care full-time. I hadn't had a baby in a long time and don't even know why I enrolled the baby in the first place....
Anyways, I made the decision that I wanted to be baby free so I termed the family. I gave them the names of several other providers that had openings so they found other care no problem.
About six months later I ran into the DCM in Target. We got to chatting and she started telling me how she was looking at other day cares because she just wasn't able to find anybody that she was really comfortable with.
Before I even knew what I was saying I said "I have space if you'd like to come back to my care" I had another child that I had been contemplating termination of care for so I figured I would just replace the tough child with this ex-family.
The family gave notice to their current provider and REstarted with me the following week. I still have the child in care today... they one of the best families I've ever had, termed and took back.
So I suppose anything is possible.... especially in this profession.
Same thing happened to me- I termed my high needs screamer baby. This child is the reason I will never accept another infant, ever. Fast forward over a year, dcm responded to my ad and enrolled dcb again. worked out great!
DaveA 10:48 AM 06-13-2016
I've had a couple families move for work over the years that I would reenroll in a heartbeat. The rest of my former DCFs should stay just that......FORMER DCFs
Unregistered 10:51 AM 06-13-2016
Originally Posted by sharlan:
I don't know of any family that would come back under those circumstances.
.
Right!? Just as no provider wants to take back someone who left in a huff.I don't know of any family that would come back under those circumstances.
.
AmyKidsCo 01:11 PM 06-14-2016
Originally Posted by sharlan:
I don't know of any family that would come back under those circumstances.
Yup, that was my thought. All these families who leave in a huff for what they think will be greener pastures, realize how good they had it and want to come back, then get mad when they can't. It made me wonder how they'd feel if the shoe was on the other foot.I don't know of any family that would come back under those circumstances.
Shawn 06:54 AM 06-15-2016
That's crazy. I have terminated a number of families mostly those who voided their contract agreements, but I never wanted them back.
Now I have experienced those who wanted to come back. A recent dcd who gave notice on a Wednesday that his children's last day will be that Friday, then at pick up on Friday he asked could the kids continue to come. I told him that I have already contacted families from my waiting list to come in for an interview to fill his spots.
I also have had parents who I terminated or they left because they felt I wasn't doing something wrong, try so hard to come back. Even to the point of stalking me. On Facebook, at Walmart, or just driving by my house. Thankfully, I just moved. And it has died down.
Now I have experienced those who wanted to come back. A recent dcd who gave notice on a Wednesday that his children's last day will be that Friday, then at pick up on Friday he asked could the kids continue to come. I told him that I have already contacted families from my waiting list to come in for an interview to fill his spots.
I also have had parents who I terminated or they left because they felt I wasn't doing something wrong, try so hard to come back. Even to the point of stalking me. On Facebook, at Walmart, or just driving by my house. Thankfully, I just moved. And it has died down.
Shawn 08:07 AM 06-15-2016
Originally Posted by daycarediva:
Same thing happened to me- I termed my high needs screamer baby. This child is the reason I will never accept another infant, ever.
Fast forward over a year, dcm responded to my ad and enrolled dcb again. worked out great!
I too had to terminate an 18 month old bitter. His mom kept me informed on his progress. He came back when he was 3 years old. He stayed until entering kindergarten. Same thing happened to me- I termed my high needs screamer baby. This child is the reason I will never accept another infant, ever. Fast forward over a year, dcm responded to my ad and enrolled dcb again. worked out great!
I had an infant who screamed. He was the final straw, I nolonger accept infants.