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Pestle 10:25 AM 12-19-2016
Ahahahahaha

Image attached.

So I've been babysitting my challenging sibling pair from their house while my house is being repaired after the fire. (This is the dad who shows his kids The Walking Dead.) I'm making no progress with the kicking, and the younger one bit my daughter today--the first time biting in months. Their behavior has really disintegrated since they've been home every day, and I've gotten to see how the mom caves the moment they start screaming or throwing things, and that the toys, furniture, and activities aren't appropriate to their developmental stage.

The family is all New Age woo, and after the morning I showed up and the dad was sitting outside giggling and singing to his dog while burning incense, it was obvious what was going on. But they didn't leave any stuff lying around, so I ignored it.

Until today! I'm here with my kid, since school's out, and am supposed to be sitting from their house. Well, they left out a hash pipe or something similar--I'm not up to speed on my luxury drug paraphernalia --and I'm inclined to think the following actions are warranted:

-Write a check to reimburse them for the remainder of the week and their one-week deposit
-Wait for them to get home, then tell them them I'm terminating care, effective immediately, because I am not comfortable working with drugs in the house

And, if they try to pressure me into taking the kids once my day care reopens, just say that I'd rather break off the relationship.

Thoughts?
Attached: IMG_0099.JPG (106.2 KB) 
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daycarediva 10:28 AM 12-19-2016
ya that's a pipe. Wow. With kids in the house? I would be done. I would hand it to them and tell them this is your last day. You won't have drugs around your children. Hand them a notice that wishes them the best finding child care and lists the resource and referral number for your area.

WOW!
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JackandJill 10:31 AM 12-19-2016
Oh man! I agree with you, I would be done immediately and sever all ties. I would also let them know exactly why you are leaving.

To each their own, what people do at their house on their own time is none of my business. But once my children come into the equation, I have no patience for that kind of behavior and I would be out the door so fast!
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Pestle 10:45 AM 12-19-2016
To be fair, I did choose to bring my child into their home--it's not like they brought the pipe into mine.

Maybe it would be better to send the mom a text in the next hour or so, to give her time to find alternate care for tomorrow? Something like:

"Jane, there's a glass pipe sitting out in the living room. Since I have to provide legal and responsible child care, I don't feel comfortable continuing our relationship. I'll keep watching the kids today and will have a full refund for you when you arrive home."
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JackandJill 10:47 AM 12-19-2016
Originally Posted by Pestle:
To be fair, I did choose to bring my child into their home--it's not like they brought the pipe into mine.

Maybe it would be better to send the mom a text in the next hour or so, to give her time to find alternate care for tomorrow? Something like:

"Jane, there's a glass pipe sitting out in the living room. Since I have to provide legal and responsible child care, I don't feel comfortable continuing our relationship. I'll keep watching the kids today and will have a full refund for you when you arrive home."
Very professional! Good luck
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Unregistered 10:54 AM 12-19-2016
That warrants a call to cps!
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Pestle 11:01 AM 12-19-2016
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
That warrants a call to cps!
I actually don't see anything about drug use covered in the TN or GA mandatory reporting law, other than the fact that child abuse involving drug use will involve a different gov't intervention. I may be missing something obvious or looking at the wrong documents.

My current situation is this: I am not yet licensed, and when I found the pipe I wasn't running an unlicensed day care; I was babysitting out of their home due to a house fire at my home. So if there's mandatory reporting just associated with day care, I'm not sure how to handle it in this situation. I'd rather just cut my losses, cut the check, and clear out.
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Blackcat31 01:10 PM 12-19-2016
Originally Posted by Pestle:
I actually don't see anything about drug use covered in the TN or GA mandatory reporting law, other than the fact that child abuse involving drug use will involve a different gov't intervention. I may be missing something obvious or looking at the wrong documents.

My current situation is this: I am not yet licensed, and when I found the pipe I wasn't running an unlicensed day care; I was babysitting out of their home due to a house fire at my home. So if there's mandatory reporting just associated with day care, I'm not sure how to handle it in this situation. I'd rather just cut my losses, cut the check, and clear out.
"Everyone in Tennessee is a mandated reporter under state law. Any person with reasonable cause to believe a child is being abused or neglected must, under the law, immediately report to the Tennessee Department of Children’s Services or to local law enforcement. The reporter can remain anonymous."

https://www.tn.gov/dcs/article/reporting-abuse-faq
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Pestle 03:53 PM 12-19-2016
Yes, I didn't see that it applied--the house is actually in GA, which has a similar law. I don't think it's really reasonable to report someone for "I'm fairly sure they spank and they're recreational drug users." You'd have to report half the region. Anyway, it's done. And the younger sibling bit me on the butt 15 minutes before the parents got home. It's been an hour and a half and it still hurts to sit down.

I'm down $430 and I'm freeeeeeeeeeeeee. And typing while lying on my tummy.
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Blackcat31 08:04 PM 12-19-2016
Originally Posted by Pestle:
Yes, I didn't see that it applied--the house is actually in GA, which has a similar law. I don't think it's really reasonable to report someone for "I'm fairly sure they spank and they're recreational drug users." You'd have to report half the region. Anyway, it's done. And the younger sibling bit me on the butt 15 minutes before the parents got home. It's been an hour and a half and it still hurts to sit down.

I'm down $430 and I'm freeeeeeeeeeeeee. And typing while lying on my tummy.
'Reasonable cause to believe' really is only something you can answer... you don't seem the type to look the other way if you truly thought there was danger.


sorry you're out the money.
but glad you're free
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Pestle 05:10 AM 12-20-2016
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
'Reasonable cause to believe' really is only something you can answer... you don't seem the type to look the other way if you truly thought there was danger.
It's blurry, the differences between "You are parenting in a way I don't approve of" and "You are parenting in a way the State doesn't approve of" and "You are parenting badly." Just look at the nastiness over vaccinations. And I see danger EVERYWHERE. "Furniture not secured to wall. . . access to gas fireplace. . . no knob covers on gas stove. . . stair balusters 11" apart. . . no driveway gate. . . um, and a hash pipe. Okay, totally different problem."

Now I want a reality show where I go babyproof other people's houses. I'll wear a pencil skirt and look scornfully down my nose at their toxic ornamental plants. "Dig this up!"
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Baby Beluga 07:10 AM 12-20-2016
Originally Posted by Pestle:
It's blurry, the differences between "You are parenting in a way I don't approve of" and "You are parenting in a way the State doesn't approve of" and "You are parenting badly." Just look at the nastiness over vaccinations. And I see danger EVERYWHERE. "Furniture not secured to wall. . . access to gas fireplace. . . no knob covers on gas stove. . . stair balusters 11" apart. . . no driveway gate. . . um, and a hash pipe. Okay, totally different problem."

Now I want a reality show where I go babyproof other people's houses. I'll wear a pencil skirt and look scornfully down my nose at their toxic ornamental plants. "Dig this up!"
I'm curious, what did you tell mom and how did she react?
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MarinaVanessa 07:41 AM 12-20-2016
I'm curious too
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Pestle 07:13 PM 12-20-2016
Exactly what I said here--"Found the pipe on the living room table," etc. Her husband was actually very classy about it--texted back right away, said it was his and he took full responsibility. I told them I wasn't going to report them and could email them links to care referral agencies, and they said yes please; I handed her the check when she arrived home, nobody said a word, all done. Very painless.

And this opens my availability for hourly babysitting while construction continues--I already have three kids booked for the remainder of the week and will end up more than making back the money I refunded.
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Baby Beluga 06:19 AM 12-21-2016
Originally Posted by Pestle:
Exactly what I said here--"Found the pipe on the living room table," etc. Her husband was actually very classy about it--texted back right away, said it was his and he took full responsibility. I told them I wasn't going to report them and could email them links to care referral agencies, and they said yes please; I handed her the check when she arrived home, nobody said a word, all done. Very painless.

And this opens my availability for hourly babysitting while construction continues--I already have three kids booked for the remainder of the week and will end up more than making back the money I refunded.
Glad everything worked out well!
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Blackcat31 06:28 AM 12-21-2016
I can't even read this thread without this song playing in my head...


"Oh, come on and kick me
Come on and kick me
You've got your problems
I've got my eyes wide
You've got your big G's
I've got my hash pipe"



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_9BGLtqqkVI
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Pestle 06:57 AM 12-21-2016
Oh, come on and BITE me
Come on and BITE me


Seriously, though--don't show your toddlers The Walking Dead. They'll try to eat the babysitter.
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