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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>"I Am 21 Years Old. I Can't Be Bothered With This"
permanentvacation 07:16 AM 07-03-2014
Quoted by my 17 month old's mother this morning when I asked why her cousin pays for the baby to go to daycare all day from 9am - 4pm even though the mother is at home all day and only works 5pm - midnight. I know she's tight on money and suggested that she save money by not having the baby in daycare.
The 'this' she couldn't be bothered with is her baby!
My reaction in my mind; WOW!! Poor baby! SAD!! So sad!! I feel so bad for this baby! When I was 20 years old, I had opened my own daycare for the sole purpose of being able to spend the entire day with my baby because I loved her so much that I couldn't bare the thought of not seeing her blink her eyes once without me seeing it! My baby was my WORLD! How sad that you don't want to spend any time with this beautiful little girl!
Of course I didn't say anything like that to her, I just said, "Oh, okay, I just thought it would help you financially to not have to pay for daycare." She said " No, my parents told me the same thing. I just can't be bothered with this all day." So I again said okay, then told her to have a good day.
The 'this' she couldn't be bothered with is her baby!
My reaction in my mind; WOW!! Poor baby! SAD!! So sad!! I feel so bad for this baby! When I was 20 years old, I had opened my own daycare for the sole purpose of being able to spend the entire day with my baby because I loved her so much that I couldn't bare the thought of not seeing her blink her eyes once without me seeing it! My baby was my WORLD! How sad that you don't want to spend any time with this beautiful little girl!
Of course I didn't say anything like that to her, I just said, "Oh, okay, I just thought it would help you financially to not have to pay for daycare." She said " No, my parents told me the same thing. I just can't be bothered with this all day." So I again said okay, then told her to have a good day.
Shell 07:26 AM 07-03-2014
horrible parenting! Good thing you are here for the baby.
kathiemarie 08:02 AM 07-03-2014
I just had a young mom kinda like that. Would bring baby @ 8am not go to work until 2pm. Had her mom pick baby up when I closed, even though the baby's dad wanted to but she wouldn't "let" him because she NEVER go to see the baby because she had to work until 6:30 or 7. I ended up telling her that I would only watch the baby when she was working and had to tell me the Friday before what her schedule was. She ended up terming. Child is still in care 50 hrs. a week when she works 20.
NightOwl 08:06 AM 07-03-2014
There should be a test.....
CedarCreek 08:08 AM 07-03-2014
That makes me so sad. That poor baby deserves better than a mother that "cant be bothered" with her. 
Ugh.
Ugh.
daycare 08:09 AM 07-03-2014
is it possible she suffers from postpartum? I did very badly with my first until she was 2.
jokalima 08:14 AM 07-03-2014
It's not only young parents. Lateley, I have been blessed to have families that care for their children. But I have one family that just won't keep the child one day. They can be home, both of them but child will still come and they will pick up at regular time, my closing time. Not a minute earlier. I can't understand this kind of parenting. 
Blackcat31 08:23 AM 07-03-2014
Well, it's a good thing the baby has a safe, inviting and welcoming place to be all day. 
Little Buttons 08:42 AM 07-03-2014
My heart aches reading that :-\ I am glad the baby has you to love and care for him! As far as not taking the kids on days off i don't get it either. My DCB mom has 4 weeks off this summer and as she said "thats me time i cannot get anything done or go out with friends with him atound"...so he'll be here open to close every day i am quite sure!
permanentvacation 08:43 AM 07-03-2014
I don't know if it's postpartum or not. I really don't know anything about postpartum but the child is 17 months old. I would think that she should have pulled herself out of it by now if it was postpartum.
Whether it's postpartum or not, it's really sad that she only sees her child for an hour in the morning while they are getting up and dressed for the day and a half an hour in the afternoon when she picks her up from daycare, takes her to her cousin's house and gets dressed to go to work for the night. It's just sad.
Whether it's postpartum or not, it's really sad that she only sees her child for an hour in the morning while they are getting up and dressed for the day and a half an hour in the afternoon when she picks her up from daycare, takes her to her cousin's house and gets dressed to go to work for the night. It's just sad.
permanentvacation 08:50 AM 07-03-2014
I have had parents also that take vacation days or a week vacation and bring their children here all day too. It's just sad to me. I've also had people that I don't know that call looking for daycare that would watch their child for an entire weekend - all day, overnight, all weekend - so the parents can go on a vacation out of the area without their child. I do not watch children 24/7, and told them that. But I just can't believe they were even calling daycare providers looking for that type of care.
Meeko 09:45 AM 07-03-2014
Honestly...the future is scary with parents like this so plentiful nowadays.
Why on earth did this "mother" (and I use the term lightly) not give the child up for adoption...as she obviously doesn't want the poor little "thing"? There are many couples out there aching to have a little one to love.
Why on earth did this "mother" (and I use the term lightly) not give the child up for adoption...as she obviously doesn't want the poor little "thing"? There are many couples out there aching to have a little one to love.
permanentvacation 10:07 AM 07-03-2014
Yeah, I don't understand parents like that. I just hope that someone takes this little girl and others like her under their wings as they grow up if their parents continue not showing an interest in being their parents throughout their lives.
I raised about half of my neighborhood a few years ago because I found out that so many of the kids' parents were drug addicts and/or drug dealers. They didn't have food at their home, their parents didn't take them school shopping, clothes shopping, anything. At any given day, I could have up to 20 teenagers in my home. Many of them spent the night different nights. I felt so bad that their parents obviously didn't care to be involved in their lives.
I recently had one of those kids, one of the girls, over my house and she told her girlfriend how much I helped her and influenced her. She said that without me, she doesn't know how she would have ended up. That just made me feel so appreciated and proud of having helped the kids in my neighborhood. When I think of my little kids whose parents don't want to be in their lives, I just hope someone else will be there for them.
I raised about half of my neighborhood a few years ago because I found out that so many of the kids' parents were drug addicts and/or drug dealers. They didn't have food at their home, their parents didn't take them school shopping, clothes shopping, anything. At any given day, I could have up to 20 teenagers in my home. Many of them spent the night different nights. I felt so bad that their parents obviously didn't care to be involved in their lives.
I recently had one of those kids, one of the girls, over my house and she told her girlfriend how much I helped her and influenced her. She said that without me, she doesn't know how she would have ended up. That just made me feel so appreciated and proud of having helped the kids in my neighborhood. When I think of my little kids whose parents don't want to be in their lives, I just hope someone else will be there for them.
nannyde 10:27 AM 07-03-2014
Honestly I would rather have someone come right out and say it then pretend they like being around their kid awake when they don't. Maybe the next wave of parenting will be the in your face "not going to parent because I don't lie it" will become popular.
We should be so lucky. That way we can screen them and not have to find out the hard way.
We should be so lucky. That way we can screen them and not have to find out the hard way.
melilley 10:50 AM 07-03-2014
That's so sad, especially her choice of words about her own daughter and to even say that about her when she doesn't even spend that much time with her. I don't get it. I have a dcb who is here every day, in fact, today dcm dropped off and said that she "was" going to keep dcb home today since she, dcd and the 3 yo. bro. are going to be home today, but dcb is "too busy" and she has things to do. There's 2 of them home! At Christmas time, the whole family was at grandmas making cookies while dcb was here. Dcm also always tells me she needs a time out from her kids so they have a time out away from her. I understand the need for a break every once in a while, but every day that they have off!? Sad.
I agree with nan, parents should just be blunt on how they feel about their kids at interviews, that way we can weed out the not so great parents.
My3cents 10:55 AM 07-03-2014
Originally Posted by permanentvacation:
Quoted by my 17 month old's mother this morning when I asked why her cousin pays for the baby to go to daycare all day from 9am - 4pm even though the mother is at home all day and only works 5pm - midnight. I know she's tight on money and suggested that she save money by not having the baby in daycare.
The 'this' she couldn't be bothered with is her baby!
My reaction in my mind; WOW!! Poor baby! SAD!! So sad!! I feel so bad for this baby! When I was 20 years old, I had opened my own daycare for the sole purpose of being able to spend the entire day with my baby because I loved her so much that I couldn't bare the thought of not seeing her blink her eyes once without me seeing it! My baby was my WORLD! How sad that you don't want to spend any time with this beautiful little girl!
Of course I didn't say anything like that to her, I just said, "Oh, okay, I just thought it would help you financially to not have to pay for daycare." She said " No, my parents told me the same thing. I just can't be bothered with this all day." So I again said okay, then told her to have a good day.
you make it easy for her to not have to take care of her own child. Its one thing if you can't but if you can you should. I stress this to my parents. I don't mind an occasional day to ones self but if your not working or in school come get your kid and parent the kid. If you don't know how sign yourself up for some classes and learn. I would not work with this type of client. The I don't give a poo client is not for me. Quoted by my 17 month old's mother this morning when I asked why her cousin pays for the baby to go to daycare all day from 9am - 4pm even though the mother is at home all day and only works 5pm - midnight. I know she's tight on money and suggested that she save money by not having the baby in daycare.
The 'this' she couldn't be bothered with is her baby!
My reaction in my mind; WOW!! Poor baby! SAD!! So sad!! I feel so bad for this baby! When I was 20 years old, I had opened my own daycare for the sole purpose of being able to spend the entire day with my baby because I loved her so much that I couldn't bare the thought of not seeing her blink her eyes once without me seeing it! My baby was my WORLD! How sad that you don't want to spend any time with this beautiful little girl!
Of course I didn't say anything like that to her, I just said, "Oh, okay, I just thought it would help you financially to not have to pay for daycare." She said " No, my parents told me the same thing. I just can't be bothered with this all day." So I again said okay, then told her to have a good day.
Now I have parents that send their child to me because they want social exposure for the kiddo- that is way different then just not wanting to do "this" You don't want to do it then let someone else that does have the chance- your child deserves better then that answer. UGH~
My3cents 10:59 AM 07-03-2014
Originally Posted by Meeko:
Honestly...the future is scary with parents like this so plentiful nowadays.
Why on earth did this "mother" (and I use the term lightly) not give the child up for adoption...as she obviously doesn't want the poor little "thing"? There are many couples out there aching to have a little one to love.
the child is a meal ticketHonestly...the future is scary with parents like this so plentiful nowadays.
Why on earth did this "mother" (and I use the term lightly) not give the child up for adoption...as she obviously doesn't want the poor little "thing"? There are many couples out there aching to have a little one to love.
melilley 11:05 AM 07-03-2014
Originally Posted by My3cents:
the child is a meal ticket
That's so sad. I once had a friend who had a friend who wanted to have another baby just to get more benefits from the state. Sickening.the child is a meal ticket
CedarCreek 11:35 AM 07-03-2014
Originally Posted by melilley:
That's so sad. I once had a friend who had a friend who wanted to have another baby just to get more benefits from the state. Sickening.
This is currently happening in my own family. I have numerous cousins who have children and just live off of the state. It's sickening. That's so sad. I once had a friend who had a friend who wanted to have another baby just to get more benefits from the state. Sickening.
At least one of them finally realized she didn't need anymore and asked me and my husband to adopt her unborn baby. Trust me, I would have in a heartbeat BUT she didn't want to go through the proper legal channels for it. There was NO WAY I was going to take him and love him and raise him just for her to come back one day and take him from us. She gave him to her mother to raise. I think about him a lot. And of course her other children that live with her.
AmyKidsCo 11:47 AM 07-03-2014
I'm so glad she's got you to love her and help her develop self-esteem. It reminds me of that line in "The Help" - "You is smart, you is kind, you is important."
MOM OF 4 12:03 PM 07-03-2014
Originally Posted by permanentvacation:
Quoted by my 17 month old's mother this morning when I asked why her cousin pays for the baby to go to daycare all day from 9am - 4pm even though the mother is at home all day and only works 5pm - midnight. I know she's tight on money and suggested that she save money by not having the baby in daycare.
The 'this' she couldn't be bothered with is her baby!
My reaction in my mind; WOW!! Poor baby! SAD!! So sad!! I feel so bad for this baby! When I was 20 years old, I had opened my own daycare for the sole purpose of being able to spend the entire day with my baby because I loved her so much that I couldn't bare the thought of not seeing her blink her eyes once without me seeing it! My baby was my WORLD! How sad that you don't want to spend any time with this beautiful little girl!
Of course I didn't say anything like that to her, I just said, "Oh, okay, I just thought it would help you financially to not have to pay for daycare." She said " No, my parents told me the same thing. I just can't be bothered with this all day." So I again said okay, then told her to have a good day.
Perhaps this woman should have thought about this ALL before getting pregnant, no? Some parents amaze me...sheesh. It's a good thing YOU care enough for that baby and the child's better off without her selfish "mother".Quoted by my 17 month old's mother this morning when I asked why her cousin pays for the baby to go to daycare all day from 9am - 4pm even though the mother is at home all day and only works 5pm - midnight. I know she's tight on money and suggested that she save money by not having the baby in daycare.
The 'this' she couldn't be bothered with is her baby!
My reaction in my mind; WOW!! Poor baby! SAD!! So sad!! I feel so bad for this baby! When I was 20 years old, I had opened my own daycare for the sole purpose of being able to spend the entire day with my baby because I loved her so much that I couldn't bare the thought of not seeing her blink her eyes once without me seeing it! My baby was my WORLD! How sad that you don't want to spend any time with this beautiful little girl!
Of course I didn't say anything like that to her, I just said, "Oh, okay, I just thought it would help you financially to not have to pay for daycare." She said " No, my parents told me the same thing. I just can't be bothered with this all day." So I again said okay, then told her to have a good day.
e.j. 12:16 PM 07-03-2014
Originally Posted by permanentvacation:
Quoted by my 17 month old's mother this morning when I asked why her cousin pays for the baby to go to daycare all day from 9am - 4pm even though the mother is at home all day and only works 5pm - midnight. I know she's tight on money and suggested that she save money by not having the baby in daycare.
So...am I reading this right? The mother's cousin pays for the child to go to day care and the mother is home all day? The mother isn't even paying for her own child to attend day care?? If I've read it correctly...Wow! It's so sad that the mother can't be bothered to spend time with her own child but I really have to wonder what the cousin is thinking! As much as I love my cousins, there's no way I'd pay for their kids to attend day care because they couldn't be bothered to raise their own kids.Quoted by my 17 month old's mother this morning when I asked why her cousin pays for the baby to go to daycare all day from 9am - 4pm even though the mother is at home all day and only works 5pm - midnight. I know she's tight on money and suggested that she save money by not having the baby in daycare.
permanentvacation 12:36 PM 07-03-2014
I actually had a 3 year old daycare boy on THANKSGIVING DAY!!! His grandmother went to his house to help his mother cook Thanksgiving dinner. His mother asked me to watch him because he would "just be in the way". The child was devastated! He knew his grand mom was at his house helping his mommy cook and he just wanted to help them cook. So I told him he could help me cook Thanksgiving dinner. He stirred a bowl of mashed potatoes for a good hour!! He was happy as a lark stirring those potatoes! It was so sad that his mother wouldn't just give him a bowl of potatoes to let him experience helping his own family make dinner.
permanentvacation 12:45 PM 07-03-2014
The cousin has paid me so far. They said that after the mother works a couple of weeks and is able to, she will start paying for the childcare herself.
As far as me letting the mother not be a parent, if I don't watch the child, she will just hire someone else. With the child coming to my daycare, I get my space filled and I know the child is going to a daycare where she is taken care of well, loved, wanted, safe, etc. If a parent like this is unable to find childcare for their child that they know they either don't want to take care of or can't handle taken care of, it is more likely that the parent will get frustrated with the child and harm them. So, yes, by allowing her to hire me, I am enabling her to not be forced to be the mother that she should be, but I might also be saving the child from the mother eventually losing it and harming her.
As far as me letting the mother not be a parent, if I don't watch the child, she will just hire someone else. With the child coming to my daycare, I get my space filled and I know the child is going to a daycare where she is taken care of well, loved, wanted, safe, etc. If a parent like this is unable to find childcare for their child that they know they either don't want to take care of or can't handle taken care of, it is more likely that the parent will get frustrated with the child and harm them. So, yes, by allowing her to hire me, I am enabling her to not be forced to be the mother that she should be, but I might also be saving the child from the mother eventually losing it and harming her.
Meeko 02:20 PM 07-03-2014
The cousin may know that the child is better taken care of and loved at daycare that with the mother. So that's why she pays.
drseuss 06:22 PM 07-03-2014
Originally Posted by permanentvacation:
I actually had a 3 year old daycare boy on THANKSGIVING DAY!!! His grandmother went to his house to help his mother cook Thanksgiving dinner. His mother asked me to watch him because he would "just be in the way". The child was devastated! He knew his grand mom was at his house helping his mommy cook and he just wanted to help them cook. So I told him he could help me cook Thanksgiving dinner. He stirred a bowl of mashed potatoes for a good hour!! He was happy as a lark stirring those potatoes! It was so sad that his mother wouldn't just give him a bowl of potatoes to let him experience helping his own family make dinner.
This made tears flow from my eyes instantly. How sad. I actually had a 3 year old daycare boy on THANKSGIVING DAY!!! His grandmother went to his house to help his mother cook Thanksgiving dinner. His mother asked me to watch him because he would "just be in the way". The child was devastated! He knew his grand mom was at his house helping his mommy cook and he just wanted to help them cook. So I told him he could help me cook Thanksgiving dinner. He stirred a bowl of mashed potatoes for a good hour!! He was happy as a lark stirring those potatoes! It was so sad that his mother wouldn't just give him a bowl of potatoes to let him experience helping his own family make dinner.
Controlled Chaos 10:55 PM 07-03-2014
This is the thing I have more experience with. The parents who love their children, but can't do anything with them. If the parents have a day off the kids is with me because they have to clean, or run errands etc. which I get but EVERYTIME? Maybe I am just jealous I don't ever get day off from my family and kids? If I want to clean it is with the DCKs or my 3. I haven't had Thanksgiving day before but other holidays. Kids can help! Put them to work! Teach them! So sad...
Josiegirl 03:13 AM 07-04-2014
Some parents are so selfish and feel it's all about 'mememe'. Can't be bothered? Omg. Technically, 21 is still so young, their frontal lobe not being fully developed and all that but still, that affects another person coming into this world and will continue to affect future generations of that family. A child not feeling loved....such a sad thought.
A child not feeling loved....such a sad thought.