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Parents and Guardians Forum>Daycare Withholding Information
Unregistered 02:21 PM 01-30-2013
My ex wife and I got divorced about a year ago. In the divorce order, I am required to pay her directly a certain percentage of the monthly cost of the day care given that she provides me with copies of receipts. All was ok in the begining, I was getting 4 receipts every month, then it cut back to one receipt for the whole month. I started to get an inkling that the receipts were fake. The receipts that are given to me are the basic kind you can buy anywhere that sells office supplies, so they're easy to make up. Long story short, every month the daycare costs seem to be rising and whenever I ask the daycare how much his weekly rate is, they tell me they cannot give me that information and I'm only allowed information about Tuesdays and Fridays which are the days I pick up my son. They claim they are only not telling me because my ex told them not to share any information with me regarding payment. Sounds fishy right? I've told them numerous times that I feel that they are taking her side by not providing me with this information and they insist they are doing nothing wrong. They do not want to tell me anything about the payment history, I had to ask them for 4 months for his attendance records, it's a never ending story with them.

My point is, can they legally withhold this information from me? I live in Florida where there is no "primary" and "secondary" parent so shouldn't we both be required to sign paperwork and have any information requested regarding our child?
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Blackcat31 02:35 PM 01-30-2013
Personally I would ONLY provide information to the parent who enrolled the child and signed all the enrollment paper work.

I would ONLY give information to the non-custodial parent if there were court orders or custody papers telling me I was required to do so.

It is NOT your child care providers responsibility to keep track of total costs or amounts you paid or your ex-wife paid. The child care is ONLY obligated to supply you (or the paying parent) with a W-10 form and even that is suppose to be given to the provider by the parents. The provider is only required to give her EIN or SS# on the form.

I am sorry you are feeling like you are getting the run around but it sounds like your child's provider is doing what she is suppose to be doing which is ONLY communicating and giving information to the parent who enrolled and signed the contract.

If you did not directly pay the provider, she is not obligated to tell you anything.

If I were you, I would get the paperwork that details who is responsible for what costs and take your ex to court to ensure she is doing as the courts directed her to do.
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daycare 02:48 PM 01-30-2013
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
Personally I would ONLY provide information to the parent who enrolled the child and signed all the enrollment paper work.

I would ONLY give information to the non-custodial parent if there were court orders or custody papers telling me I was required to do so.

It is NOT your child care providers responsibility to keep track of total costs or amounts you paid or your ex-wife paid. The child care is ONLY obligated to supply you (or the paying parent) with a W-10 form and even that is suppose to be given to the provider by the parents. The provider is only required to give her EIN or SS# on the form.

I am sorry you are feeling like you are getting the run around but it sounds like your child's provider is doing what she is suppose to be doing which is ONLY communicating and giving information to the parent who enrolled and signed the contract.

If you did not directly pay the provider, she is not obligated to tell you anything.

If I were you, I would get the paperwork that details who is responsible for what costs and take your ex to court to ensure she is doing as the courts directed her to do.
I would have to say the same, however in my state of CA if you wanted to come in and fill out state papers giving you the right to all of this information I would have to let you. With or without a custody agreement.

the only way that I could deny you, if there was court docs saying that you had no rights to your child or something to this degree....

I hope that things work out for you...
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itlw8 03:09 PM 01-30-2013
You could go back to court or a mediator and ask for a bill from the childcare and a reciept signed by them.
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JenNJ 03:53 PM 01-30-2013
Take your ex back to court. It sounds bad, but legally if you didn't sign the payment paperwork, they don't have to share.
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Hunni Bee 04:39 PM 01-30-2013
I agree with previous posters. If you are paying your ex-wife directly for daycare, and she is the one whom you are believing to have made up the receipts, then your issue is with her.

You are not paying the daycare, so they really dont have to share payment information with you.

I agree with Jen, if you believe you're being taken by your ex-wife, you should go back to court
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Unregistered 07:41 PM 12-26-2016
I am a non custodial parent. My ex and I are back in court on a child support revision and the one thing that has me very concerned is her refusal to provide my child's daycare schedule to me. I have reason to believe that she is having the daycare center falsify records to bill me for more time, for either non work related daycare and for days that the child is in the care of grandparents or stepdad and not at the daycare. She gets very weird when I ask for the attendence schedule and says I have no right to that information....but I can't help but wonder, why would she care about providing the schedule to me unless she is falsifying the records to get more money?
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spedmommy4 05:37 AM 12-27-2016
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
I am a non custodial parent. My ex and I are back in court on a child support revision and the one thing that has me very concerned is her refusal to provide my child's daycare schedule to me. I have reason to believe that she is having the daycare center falsify records to bill me for more time, for either non work related daycare and for days that the child is in the care of grandparents or stepdad and not at the daycare. She gets very weird when I ask for the attendence schedule and says I have no right to that information....but I can't help but wonder, why would she care about providing the schedule to me unless she is falsifying the records to get more money?
Address it in court. Let the judge know that you have been concerned about the fluctuating costs and would like to see if their is a way to get receipts, or a copy of the contract that outlines policies/payments, directly from the provider. (So you can budget for your child's care) It's a reasonable request.
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Cat Herder 08:32 AM 12-27-2016
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
I am a non custodial parent. My ex and I are back in court on a child support revision and the one thing that has me very concerned is her refusal to provide my child's daycare schedule to me. I have reason to believe that she is having the daycare center falsify records to bill me for more time, for either non work related daycare and for days that the child is in the care of grandparents or stepdad and not at the daycare. She gets very weird when I ask for the attendence schedule and says I have no right to that information....but I can't help but wonder, why would she care about providing the schedule to me unless she is falsifying the records to get more money?
It sounds like you may be asking the wrong questions. It is possible that your childs daycare does not attach attendance to tuition rate; like many of us.

** Flat rate tuition is common place as it provides the most stable income for small providers. **

The information you want is your contracted tuition rate, not attendance schedule. You should have that information on your copy of the signed childcare contract if you also have contracted for services with the same provider.

Requesting a childs attendance schedule during the other parents time may imply that you intend to micromanage the other parents lifestyle or use that information to somehow become high conflict. While most likely not true in your case, you'd be shocked at how many times this situation comes into play.
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Cat Herder 08:49 AM 12-27-2016
Another thought: If your childs daycare uses the sliding fee "contracted hours" model, you can respectfully request to have reimbursed childcare expenses limited to the rate of 9 hours per day.

** That gives 8 working hours and 30 minute, each way, commute time. It would prevent marathon stays (which benefits the child the most ) and unexpected costs for extra services. If either parent requires more on their time, they foot their own bill. If either requires less, they have the savings to use during the extra time spent with the kiddo (benefits the child the most )

If presented correctly (no emotions, calm/rational, mutually beneficial approach), it really is the most fair option for both parents and especially the child. I can't imagine a scenario where a judge would see it as anything other than fair.
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daycarediva 11:14 AM 12-27-2016
Originally Posted by spedmommy4:
Address it in court. Let the judge know that you have been concerned about the fluctuating costs and would like to see if their is a way to get receipts, or a copy of the contract that outlines policies/payments, directly from the provider. (So you can budget for your child's care) It's a reasonable request.
I would ask your lawyer for a copy of the child care contract with weekly rate outlined. She legally has to prove how much she is paying.

Originally Posted by Cat Herder:
It sounds like you may be asking the wrong questions. It is possible that your childs daycare does not attach attendance to tuition rate; like many of us.

** Flat rate tuition is common place as it provides the most stable income for small providers. **

The information you want is your contracted tuition rate, not attendance schedule. You should have that information on your copy of the signed childcare contract if you also have contracted for services with the same provider.

Requesting a childs attendance schedule during the other parents time may imply that you intend to micromanage the other parents lifestyle or use that information to somehow become high conflict. While most likely not true in your case, you'd be shocked at how many times this situation comes into play.
YES, exactly this. My parents pay a contracted set rate.

Originally Posted by Cat Herder:
Another thought: If your childs daycare uses the sliding fee "contracted hours" model, you can respectfully request to have reimbursed childcare expenses limited to the rate of 9 hours per day.

** That gives 8 working hours and 30 minute, each way, commute time. It would prevent marathon stays (which benefits the child the most ) and unexpected costs for extra services. If either parent requires more on their time, they foot their own bill. If either requires less, they have the savings to use during the extra time spent with the kiddo (benefits the child the most )

If presented correctly (no emotions, calm/rational, mutually beneficial approach), it really is the most fair option for both parents and especially the child. I can't imagine a scenario where a judge would see it as anything other than fair.
and they pay extra for anything over 10 hours, most centers are open 6-6, so this would qualify as additional/unneeded expense.

Also, do you know what child care the child attends? Can you call as an interested parent and ask what their rates are?
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hwichlaz 07:31 PM 01-24-2017
I'm in California. I have to give information about my facility and the child to both parents...but financial information/contract is between me and the party I'm contracted with. So I'd give you all of the info you wanted about your child's day and a copy of my policies and let you see your child's records...but the actual contract and money issues only get discussed with the person that pays me.
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Unregistered 04:19 PM 08-21-2017
In the State of Michigan if you have Joint Legal custody, and not physical custody, you have a right to request all documentation from healthcare, daycare, babysitter, and schools, period. If your daycare cantor supply you with documentation it is the recipients of the daycare supports responsibility to supply that information. You might want to hire an attourney to subpoena your ex to provide checks or cancelled checks form there bank or financial institution. It is the responsibility of daycare or babysitters to notify both parents of increase in charges. It is your legal right to have equal access to these institutions.
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Cat Herder 06:11 AM 08-22-2017
"Confidentiality Policy

Information concerning you, your child, and your family is private and personal. Trust and confidentiality are essential to building trusting relationships. We are committed to maintaining your privacy and protecting your personal information. We will not disclose information except as required by law or when there is a threat to the health and safety of the individuals and families we serve."


*All non-custodial parents, please, get us legal paperwork instead of threatening or harassing us. We are not the enemy. We are stuck between a rock and a hard place and required to follow confidentiality rules with the parents we contract with. If you were not there for the interview, enrollment and we have never met you, that is your fault. Just get the paperwork and stay involved in your childs life regularly. We have the same goal for your child, both parents fully engaged. We don't want to withold information, we just don't want chaos in our private living rooms or in front of your children.
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