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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>which family would you choose?
iheartkids 11:54 AM 10-06-2011
So here is my situation...

My BIL has a 4 month old and wants to bring him to my daycare. Actually, he is demanding to bring him here cause he is very adament about NOT taking him to a complete stranger. Even though I have an open spot I can't take him cause I am at my max for babies. I'm not even sure what the hours would be cause his GF is in between jobs and is heehawing around looking for one cause she wants to stay home. But he is telling her she needs to find one (they just moved into a bigger house, bought a newer car, etc. so they need the second income). And considering that she is a nurse her hours may not be ideal daytime hours. So I basically told them no but if something were to happen (such as another baby leaving) I would let them know.

Yesterday I just got a phone call from a man who's wife is expecting. Around the time that they would need daycare would be the time my oldest baby will turn 2, therefore opening an infant spot. I haven't called him back yet so I don't know exactly what they would be needing (fulltime/parttime) but it is so hard talking to people who are expecting because they have soooo much time to think about whether they want to choose me and I'm left sitting around waiting for that phone call!

So I don't know if I should give my BIL a heads up about possibly filling my spot and offer it to them first? Even though his GF doesn't even have a job yet and when she does we have no idea what hours??? I feel she is putting it off cause she doesn't have someone to watch him, but I don't want to say yes to them (so she'll go find a job) and then it turns out to be a 2nd shift job.

*IF the circumstances were ideal I would like to have my nephew here because I KNOW I'm the best place for him. Plus it would be a lil easier watching an older baby with all my toddlers than a newborn. Just not sure what to tell the perspective parents when I call them back
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cheerfuldom 12:00 PM 10-06-2011
Are you SURE that you want to mix business with family? I think the vast majority of experienced providers will BEG you to NOT do this to yourself. Especially when the parents have no idea what exactly they are even needing and there is no job in place. I would never, ever commit to taking a relatives baby and would not commit to an expectant parents baby unless they are almost due and willing to officially enroll now.
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Blackcat31 12:02 PM 10-06-2011
I can't tell you which family would be more ideal but just from what little info you did give about your nephew, I would not have family for clients. You might be the best place for him but there are too many red flags such as the GF doesn't appear to want to work, she may not have good hours for your care setting and if they have so many payments due on their bigger home, new baby, and new car, they aren't going to view paying you as a priority because your family.

Most providers do not take friends or family on as clients because they learned the hard way what happens in those situations.

As far as the expecting family goes, ask them what hours they are seeking and go from there. Plus, I would have them pay you a deposit that is non-refundabe if you are worried that they may change their minds with so much time to think it over.
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Cat Herder 12:02 PM 10-06-2011
What would I do.....

#1 definite NO.

#2 Would need more info, a signed contract and a substantial deposit to consider.
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Crazy8 12:05 PM 10-06-2011
Originally Posted by cheerfuldom:
Are you SURE that you want to mix business with family? I think the vast majority of experienced providers will BEG you to NOT do this to yourself. Especially when the parents have no idea what exactly they are even needing and there is no job in place. I would never, ever commit to taking a relatives baby and would not commit to an expectant parents baby unless they are almost due and willing to officially enroll now.
all of this. Based on what you've posted so far about your BIL & his GF there isn't a chance in you know where that I'd take them. I don't take family period, but if I did I STILL wouldn't take this one. I know its your nephew but it sounds like BIL will be very hard to work with. I'd run far away from that one.

As for the pregnant one... talk to them, find out what they need, what kind of time frame they are looking at for needing care. How long will it be till they need care/till your little one turns 2?? If its months away I would just let them know that you MAY have an opening by the time they need it but they'll need to contact you closer to their due date.
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iheartkids 06:50 PM 10-06-2011
I figured you would all say that about my BIL :/ I worry about all of that but I figured when it came to payments I could throw it back in their faces that his paycheck was always on time when he worked for my husband. But that probably won't matter. As far as the other family, I just called them back and found out they live in another town about 15-20 minutes away depending on where exactly they live. So the dad left it as "we will think about the commute and give you a call back" so basically....no. UGH! I want to fill my spot! But I know it's not a smart idea to take my nephew (as much as I would love to watch him). All your points make COMPLETE sense.
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Tags:deposit agreement, expecting parents, provider - family, provider burnout risk, working with family
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