So I have been sick for 2 mos on and off. I had a girl come inane get sent home with croup. I finally got into the dr this am and I have croup, bronchitis and athsma. I took my meds and now feel even worse than before. Hubs watched the kids while I went to the dr but is now up watching tv. I'm just so down! I feel like crap, I have to make something for a wake, I have kids all day tomorrow, church on Sunday and then back to work. I'm really sick of life today. I KNOW hubs wont think to plan dinner or volunteer for me to nap so I have to suck it up. Boooooo hoooooooooo!!!!!!

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((((hugs))) hope you are feeling better soon!

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Live in Cincy oh? I'll come and help out! I have a 3yr ds but he loves new things at people's homes lol. El hub is busy with a friends wedding and I have no plans. I'd help out if I could :/

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I would never simply suck it up, but maybe that's just me lol



Men can be thick. My husband is one of those. Unless I literally tell him to, he won't have a clue that I'm wanting or needing him to jump in and take over.

Be kind, but clear:

"Honey, I really need to rest, can you help me out for just a bit so I can squeeze in a small nap?"

"I've just got nothing left here because this medicine is making me feel worse, can you take care of dinner tonight please?"



If that doesn't work be more forward and blunt:

"Get off your freaking duff and help me or I'm going to keel over and then you can find a way to raise the children alone and pay all of our bills by yourself."



You're sick. He's your husband. There's no reason why he can't pick up the slack and help you out.

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Right on Willow

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I always feel awful when I read posts like this because my husband would never not help, or at least offer help (as a matter of fact, he's been watching the kids all day because I didn't get much sleep lastnight)! Then again, I wouldn't put up with a husband who didn't help/offer.

I agree with Willow, you need to ask your husband for help - and if that doesn't work TELL him to help you. What's the point in being married to someone you can't rely on or count on in time of need?

Hang in there.

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I have a question though and please do not take it wrong but does your husbands not work-Willow and Miss Muffet?

My hubby has to work 8-5, so if I'm sick I still have to do it by myself or take the day off.

It just gets me the way you guys talk about others husbands-wow. I respect my husband and know he puts up with alot so that we can have the daycare and I have been able to stay home to do this. I would not ever think of disrepting my husband or talking to him the way you guys say to.

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My husband usually works out of state. He's either gone Monday through Thursday and has rest of Thursday through the weekend off, or he works Monday through Saturday/Sunday and then has the whole following week off.

If I'm sick and he's home, you bet he's going to help me. Not because I ask him, but because he loves me. Just like I will always pick up the slack for him when he needs me to. To me, that's what a marriage is.

The very sarcastic way we talk to each other is all in jest and fun. If/when I tell him to get off his duff it's said with a smirk on my face and he'll usually return fire by slapping me on the @ss when I turn back around. But then you bet he'll get up and help me, again, not because I told him to, but because he likes to be there for me when he can (even though at times it's not an easy situation for him to pick up on initially). He'd be beyond ticked if I ever just put up and shut up, refusing to tell him I was struggling and then went on to suffer through something alone.

We are incredibly light hearted teasers.
Life is too short not to be the way we see it. The goofy tongue-in-cheek is just our style and there is nothing wrong with it. It works quite well for us.

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OK, sounds like me with my hubs!

I really want this house that I have been dreaming about for a few years. He finally was truthful and said I just honestly don't know where we can get the money for the down payment. I looked at him, told him-you have two good kidneys and walked away. He said loudly-what if one of the kids would need one!

The other night he was watching a movie on his phone-. I honestly didn't know he could do this! He has been wanting a flat screen tv for so long but I just can't bear getting one when our tv works just fine.
Anyway, I told him I could mount his phone on the wall-.

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EXACTLY!!!

OT but hubs has been pushing me to buy (yet another) fourwheeler, I'm so stealing your "you have two good kidney's" jab.....he'll pee himself laughing if I can manage to keep a straight face lol

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I'm grateful for all of the support ( and offers to help). It actually turned out better than I imagined. Hubs took the kids outdoors and I got an hour and a half and dd "cooked" her specialty spaghetti o's and grilled chz with fruit. I'm feeling a lot better and I wish I had gone to the dr about my breathing years ago! She gave me an inhaler because she thinks I might have athsma and my chest hasn't felt this clear in forever! Sorry about grouching, I am a terrible patient

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Glad you got a bit of a break! Also happy to hear your family pitched in and everything turned out well!

I am a terrible patient too and spend a good deal of time in denial that I even feel sick...I'm usually better by the time I admit that I don't feel well so it all works out in the end.

I am really glad to hear you are addressing your breathing issues too
....doesn't sound like something you want to ignore or put off!

Hope you have a nice weekend!

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He sure does work 40+ hours a week. His schedule varies, but he mostly works days - and weekends - so he's usually home with us 2 days a week. He gets paid sick/personal days so we lose less income if he takes a day off/leaves early instead of me closing. I do get 5 paid sick/personal days, but they go quick some years.

Anyways, that's besides the point - the OPs husband WAS HOME WATCHING TV when she needed to be resting/taking it easy. He wasn't off at work.

I am extremely respectful of my husband, he's treated like a king... but that's because he treats me like a queen. I would never have married someone who would sit around watching television while I was sick and depressed and clearly needed help. Now THAT'S disrespectful

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I feel you! I have been sick for 3 weeks now with a head cold that will not go way! I thought I was finally over it and then Friday night (of course my weekend!) my nose started running and my head plugged up again!

Personally I don't think it's disrespectful to ask (or tell ) your DH to help out if he's watching TV and you're not feeling well. If I felt sick and my DH came home (he works 8-5 M-F), expecting me to make dinner and deal with our DD while he watched TV... I'd definitely be telling him to get off his rear and help! It is a partnership, not just me doing everything. We, like the rest of you have said, have a pretty sarcastic banter/joking but he (and I) knows respect is a two way street.

Although when it comes to DCKs I do not expect him to help out, I feel like that is my responsibility. I do think that it is AWESOME that some of you have DH's that will help out so much with DCKs! My DH likes DCKs and does help out if needed. He always wants to come along on field trips (he'll take a sick day) and always wants me to bring the DCKs to activities going on at his job (he's a park ranger at a local state park) but I really try not to make him feel he needs to help out. When he get home he's in charge of DD while I handle the rest of the DCKs until they leave (45mins or so) and then make dinner but I don't feel like he's doing me a favor or doing anything above and beyond by watching DD instead of sitting on the couch playing on his computer, I feel like he's doing his part in helping raise our DD.

I'm a horrible patient as well!!

That's great your DH helped out so you could rest!! And super cute that your DD cooked you dinner! Hope you are feeling better!

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*snicker* sounds SO MUCH like DH and I. We tease, poke fun, etc ALL the time. His family does.not.get. our relationship. Today at the pumpkin patch (MIL came with us) I found a big pumpkin that was kind of funny looking and I commented to DH, "Hey sweetie! This should be yours! It looks just like you! It's huge, warty, AND ugly!" and of course I was grinning while I said it (note: DH is neither ugly nor warty or overly large). He laughed and teased me back and MIL just looked scandalized (despite being exposed to our relationship for 7+ years now) and said, "Gosh (DH), with friends like that who needs enemies?" in a very snotty and disapproving tone.

She of course always manages to turn her back or otherwise not be around when we do cute cuddly things (like thirty seconds later when I jumped into his arms and kissed him). But then, she's a very shut down and wounded person. The whole family is, really. It's a wonder that DH is as normal as he is (well...comparatively...he fits in perfectly with my family anyway), growing up with all that.

I still find it amazing that his family still doesn't get us.

Didn't mean to derail the thread, OP. I'm glad you got your break! Hope you keep feeling better. I know with my DH I have to pretty much rub his nose in anything that needs done or wants done or anything like that...he's very clueless. I love him more than anything...but he needs careful keeping.

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