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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Adjustment Period
Chambermaid08 09:27 AM 09-14-2012
Hello all,

I've been running an in home daycare since April 12. I currently have 3 kids, my DD, and 2 8 month olds. One of the 8 month olds is either having a really hard time adjusting or is just not a good fit. I'm trying to figure out which it may be. She's been in my care since Mid May. She did well for the first month, then was gone on vacation for 2 weeks and there has been trouble pretty much ever since. She has good days but most days are horrible. If she's not asleep, she's crying. I tried wearing her but like everything else I've tried, after a few days, it stopped working. The only time she stops crying is when I'm playing with her, by herself. No other kids around. She won't sit by me and play. I feel heartless saying this but I've tried letting her just cry but she will escalate until she vomits, then the cycle starts over again. She does this all.day.long. I've had several long conversations with both of her parents and a soon-to-be step mother about the situation and all say they have no issues at home, that she's just got bad separation anxiety. I'm not convinced that this is the issue (at least not 100%) because she is fine when she is dropped off and is fine when she and I are 1:1. Is she just not adjusting or is she a bad fit? I feel bad for the other children because I spend 90% of my day trying to appease one child. When this LO gets in one of her crying jaunts, the others start crying or getting upset. I'm worried that it's negatively affecting my relationship with the other two. I feel terrible for my daughter because her needs are often met last. TIA!
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rhymia1 10:12 AM 09-14-2012
It may very well be separation aniexty, but you can't be with her 100% of the time at the expense of the other children. She may do better off in a center with more staff or a nanny situation where she can have one on one care. I know it isn't easy to admit we are not the provider for a certain child (I'm in the middle of that now ) but better for the kids to be in a place that can meet their needs.
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Chambermaid08 11:25 AM 09-14-2012
Thank you very much for your reply. I've been strongly considering terminating care. I guess i just need to hear it from another care provider that she may benefit from another situation.
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rhymia1 01:08 PM 09-14-2012
Originally Posted by Chambermaid08:
Thank you very much for your reply. I've been strongly considering terminating care. I guess i just need to hear it from another care provider that she may benefit from another situation.
She very well may. But the one thing you do know is that she isn't doing well now - despite you doing everything you can and then some to make it happen. A very wise provider once told me that we do not have the "key" to every child and it's not fair to the child to keep them on in that case. Often providers keep children who are obviously not happy because they need the income or don't want to hurt their reputation. But keeping the child has ramifications also, and that needs to be considered.
Good Luck!
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Tags:adjustment period, separation anxiety
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