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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Potty Training-Signs Of Readiness?
littlemommy 12:15 PM 02-18-2012
What are the big signs of readiness for potty training?

I have an almost 3 yo dcg who just started at home last weekend, and mom makes it sound like she's doing GREAT at home. The girl hasn't told me once when she has to go, and has wet her diapers and pull ups all week. If I smell poop, and ask who is poopy, she runs over to me and turns around, like she wants me to check her, even when it's not her.
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cheerfuldom 12:42 PM 02-18-2012
have you talked to the mom about what exactly she is doing at home and what specific progress she is seeing? I would imagine that by "great", mom means that DCG is being put on the potty constantly all day and is using the potty for that reason. Thats the way a lot of parents potty train and it is just not realistic for daycare.
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momma2girls 02:26 PM 02-18-2012
I start with it here, when the child is ready and tells me they have to go.
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LittleD 04:10 PM 02-18-2012
I am conflicted on this issue! As a parent, who's daughter spent 8-10 hrs at daycare when she was 2-3yrs, (our jobs had long shifts ) and who's provider said I had to train her at home first, I thought it was unrealistic. She only had 4 hrs at night with me and an hour of that was driving to pick up her dad from work. The provider might put her on the toilet 2-3 times a day for a few days and said nope, you do it, she stays in diapers until then. It didn't make sense to me.
As a provider, I do understand we can not be running back and forth to the bath room all day. But we should at least be making an effort to try and help.

May providers require certain readiness skills before they begin. Some signs to look for:
The child is able to TELL you they need to go
Needs to be able to remove/put on own clothing
Have a dry diaper/pull up for extended periods of time
Want to use a toilet/potty (lets face it, you can't hold a kids there and make them go )
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itlw8 04:27 PM 02-18-2012
If you wait to start until the child tells you they have to go, The job is already done and why does the child just go do the job instead of telling you ?

at age 3 it is time to give a bit of a shove. take the child at normal times. like diaper changes, before nap and right after nap. any time you would tell the big kids to go take the trainer.
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littlemommy 04:51 PM 02-18-2012
Originally Posted by cheerfuldom:
have you talked to the mom about what exactly she is doing at home and what specific progress she is seeing? I would imagine that by "great", mom means that DCG is being put on the potty constantly all day and is using the potty for that reason. Thats the way a lot of parents potty train and it is just not realistic for daycare.
Yep, and she told me to take her in to try every 1/2 hour to hour. Kinda tough when you have 4 other kids to take care of!! I ask her every hour or so, and every time she says yes but then doesn't go.

On Thursday her mom said that she was accident free wednesday evening and she was wearing underwear all morning (which wasn't that long cuz she comes at 7:15. She said that she had put a diaper on right before they left for the car ride but she wants me to put underwear on her. I said that I require diapers or pullups until they are accident free HERE for 2 weeks. Mom said "oh ok" and acted annoyed. I said that I cannot scrub carpets all day when other kids are here.
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nannyde 05:55 PM 02-18-2012
Originally Posted by LittleD:
I am conflicted on this issue!
For me, it's not about what is best for the child. It's about what is best for my carpet and what's best for my time.

OP said:
She said that she had put a diaper on right before they left for the car ride but she wants me to put underwear on her.

See this shows that the Mom is thinking the same thing I am. She wants to protect her cloth (car seat) and her time (cleaning up the car seat). The Mom is on the right track but she's only concerned about her cloth and her time.

The provider has to be the one to say it has to be about "my cloth" and "my time". Children will come and go in your child care. Each individual child's potty learning isn't more important than the furniture, carpet, and time of the provider. It's better for it to take a year more in diapers than a day where the provider has to have her carpet or cloth put at risk. Diapers are way cheaper than replacing carpet and carpet pads or furniture. Whether you can clean them or not the day they soiled they will never be as good as the day before.

I've done child care in this house for ten years. I have had TWO potty accidents in my house. The last one was five years ago. I don't take any chances with a "training" child. They are completely trained before I allow them to go in underwear. By trained, I mean "I" know they are. I don't base it on parents words. Only what "I" know for sure.
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saved4always 06:02 PM 02-18-2012
Originally Posted by littlemommy:
Yep, and she told me to take her in to try every 1/2 hour to hour. Kinda tough when you have 4 other kids to take care of!! I ask her every hour or so, and every time she says yes but then doesn't go.

On Thursday her mom said that she was accident free wednesday evening and she was wearing underwear all morning (which wasn't that long cuz she comes at 7:15. She said that she had put a diaper on right before they left for the car ride but she wants me to put underwear on her. I said that I require diapers or pullups until they are accident free HERE for 2 weeks. Mom said "oh ok" and acted annoyed. I said that I cannot scrub carpets all day when other kids are here.
I had a parent who started training over a break and who demanded that I was to put her 2 1/2 yo on the potty every 30 to 45 minutes when he returned to care. I personally call this "parent-trained". She also claimed he was "doing great at home and only had 2 accidents in his underwear the day before and only one today" (yippee ) and she also wanted to send him in underwear without me ever even having seen if there was actually enough progress for me to allow that in MY home. I had 4 other younger children that I was watching at the time so putting a child on the potty every 30 minutes seemed way too often to me. I am more of a mind that they should be reminded to go at each transition and should not have to be "put" on the potty or forced to go. She did not feel that I should have any say in when he could wear underwear in my home. This was a deal breaker for me. I did not allow my own children to pee all over my furniture or carpets....I sure wasn't going to allow a parttime dck do it. I was really considering terming (she was being very overbearing and uptight about this potty thing plus I really did not like thier schedule at all) and she decided herself not to come back that following week. Still don't know how he actually was doing with the potty but is it mean of me to kinda hope they had to replace thier sofa or something? Not that I am bitter or anything...lol!
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saved4always 06:08 PM 02-18-2012
Originally Posted by nannyde:
For me, it's not about what is best for the child. It's about what is best for my carpet and what's best for my time.

OP said:
She said that she had put a diaper on right before they left for the car ride but she wants me to put underwear on her.

See this shows that the Mom is thinking the same thing I am. She wants to protect her cloth (car seat) and her time (cleaning up the car seat). The Mom is on the right track but she's only concerned about her cloth and her time.

The provider has to be the one to say it has to be about "my cloth" and "my time". Children will come and go in your child care. Each individual child's potty learning isn't more important than the furniture, carpet, and time of the provider. It's better for it to take a year more in diapers than a day where the provider has to have her carpet or cloth put at risk. Diapers are way cheaper than replacing carpet and carpet pads or furniture. Whether you can clean them or not the day they soiled they will never be as good as the day before.

I've done child care in this house for ten years. I have had TWO potty accidents in my house. The last one was five years ago. I don't take any chances with a "training" child. They are completely trained before I allow them to go in underwear. By trained, I mean "I" know they are. I don't base it on parents words. Only what "I" know for sure.
This is EXACTLY how I feel about. You can never deep clean carpets or furniture enough after an accident to make them the same as they were before the accident. That is beyond normal wear and tear!

And I didn't even think about it from the point of view that she put the diaper on her child to protect her car but then wanted the provider to risk her own fabrics!
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busymommy0420 06:45 PM 02-18-2012
I am a provider and have been training my daughter for almost 3 weeks now. In the 3 weeks my almost 2.5 year old daughter has went from me putting her on the potty EVERY 30 min to now asking to go. I put her in panties at all time with a pull up over them. She does not feel the pull up against her skin (so it does not feel like a diaper) she feels the panties. If she is wet I will know and my furniture will not pay the price. This has worked great for me. I have extra panties available so if she is wet, I just put a new pair on and replace the pull up over it. She went from 10 accidents a day to now maybe one or two a day. I will continue this practice for awhile just to be sure. I am a provider of my own 3 children and between 2-5 DCK's daily. It is a challenge going every 30 min but well worth it in the long run! I have two more children to train my other daughter who is 2 and a DCG who is almost 3. I will be glad to help them both. The DCG is here 10 hours a day M-F. How could I expect her Mommy to train her?? Except the weekends.
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Hunni Bee 06:46 PM 02-18-2012
Originally Posted by itlw8:
If you wait to start until the child tells you they have to go, The job is already done and why does the child just go do the job instead of telling you ?

at age 3 it is time to give a bit of a shove. take the child at normal times. like diaper changes, before nap and right after nap. any time you would tell the big kids to go take the trainer.
I've ALWAYS thought that. Once the kid (at least most of the kids I've trained) is able to tell me they have to go, they are usually on the tail end of getting potty trained. In some kids brain, telling mom/dad/me that they have to go to the bathroom = having to stop playing and go potty. And they don't want to, so sometimes they'll opt to pee in the pullup instead. And waiting for them to stop thinking that way, to me, is wasting valuable training time.

Even if they're not actually peeing that much, practice getting on and off the potty, managing clothing, learning to wipe...all that is good. That said, I don't run them back and forth to the potty every ten minutes either. I just take them when the other kids go.
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nannyde 07:19 PM 02-18-2012
Originally Posted by itlw8:
If you wait to start until the child tells you they have to go, The job is already done and why does the child just go do the job instead of telling you ?

at age 3 it is time to give a bit of a shove. take the child at normal times. like diaper changes, before nap and right after nap. any time you would tell the big kids to go take the trainer.
Nobody is saying wait to start until the child tells you they have to go. They are saying wait to put in UNDERWEAR without protection until the child tells you they have to go.

Big difference

At my house the child can't just go and do the job instead of telling me. That's one of the huge differences between potty training at home and in multi-level aged group child care. Here we have to SUPERVISE the child when they go. They can't have free access to a toilet without an adult being involved. At home they can go in and out of the bathroom without the parent even knowing where they are in the house. Here we have to supervise at all times.

For this reason they must tell us they have to go before they go. By "tell" I mean say the WORDS "I have to go potty" not by doing body language or sign language but the actual WORDS "I HAVE TO GO POTTY".
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Country Kids 08:06 PM 02-18-2012
Here is my situation, any input would be great!

One with limited language and almost 3. Parents have been trying to potty train (I have no problem helping). Child though really doesn't speak alot and I think has no idea what it means to have to go to the bathroom. When they are on the toilet and don't go, they will say no go, but to actually tell me they have to go, not happening. I really would like to see the child doing this because they are getting way to heavy to be lifting up and down changing diapers. Also, less diapers for me to be changing!

Next child, very broad vocabulary but same situation. Has no clue to tell me they have to go to the bathroom.

I take them in with the diaper changers (about every two hours) and most of the time they will go, sometimes they won't. They kicker is they are probably dry 90% of the time. This indicates to me they are ready but don't know they have to go. So I'm perplexed on how to get them to know they have to go to the bathroom.
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littlemommy 07:31 AM 02-19-2012
Originally Posted by nannyde:
Nobody is saying wait to start until the child tells you they have to go. They are saying wait to put in UNDERWEAR without protection until the child tells you they have to go.

Big difference

At my house the child can't just go and do the job instead of telling me. That's one of the huge differences between potty training at home and in multi-level aged group child care. Here we have to SUPERVISE the child when they go. They can't have free access to a toilet without an adult being involved. At home they can go in and out of the bathroom without the parent even knowing where they are in the house. Here we have to supervise at all times.

For this reason they must tell us they have to go before they go. By "tell" I mean say the WORDS "I have to go potty" not by doing body language or sign language but the actual WORDS "I HAVE TO GO POTTY".
This mom even told me thay she doesn't tell her she has to go at home, she just takes her in there every 30 minutes and makes her sit there and try. I think doing it this way is more for the parents..I don't really get how it's teaching the child. I could be wrong. Doing it that way just won't woork in my house! Especially when (like Nannyde said) the child must be supervised every time.
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LittleD 08:47 AM 02-19-2012
Originally Posted by saved4always:
This is EXACTLY how I feel about. You can never deep clean carpets or furniture enough after an accident to make them the same as they were before the accident. That is beyond normal wear and tear!

And I didn't even think about it from the point of view that she put the diaper on her child to protect her car but then wanted the provider to risk her own fabrics!
yes I didn't see it like that as well!
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Sprouts 10:02 AM 02-19-2012
Originally Posted by Country Kids:
Here is my situation, any input would be great!

One with limited language and almost 3. Parents have been trying to potty train (I have no problem helping). Child though really doesn't speak alot and I think has no idea what it means to have to go to the bathroom. When they are on the toilet and don't go, they will say no go, but to actually tell me they have to go, not happening. I really would like to see the child doing this because they are getting way to heavy to be lifting up and down changing diapers. Also, less diapers for me to be changing!

Next child, very broad vocabulary but same situation. Has no clue to tell me they have to go to the bathroom.

I take them in with the diaper changers (about every two hours) and most of the time they will go, sometimes they won't. They kicker is they are probably dry 90% of the time. This indicates to me they are ready but don't know they have to go. So I'm perplexed on how to get them to know they have to go to the bathroom.
For the 3 year old I wouldn't even pick for a changing table, in our Montessori training they taught us to stand a child on a stool while we sit on a stool and change them standing. For poops obviously this could get quite messy but if you catch them before they sit on it and get squished it ps easy if not then just put the changing pad on the floor and lay them down. It's also helpful to do this in front of a mirror so they can see what your doing and help them to be less distracted and also helps with teaching body parts.
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cheerfuldom 11:59 AM 02-19-2012
So this kid held it for a few hours one evening and maybe did an hour another morning.....how is that potty trained??? This mom sounds pushy. I would have backup diapers at your house just in case. Wouldn't surprise me if this mom sends the kid with only underwear even though you said no. I would use my backup diapers and then charge her. Forget what she is saying....the actions of her daughter show that she is not ready to be in underwear yet (and may not even be ready to potty train) and the actions of the mom says that she wants you to do the potty training at your house.
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momma2girls 12:20 PM 02-19-2012
I assist with it, when the child tells me they have to potty. I have a little 2 1/2 yr. old supposively going thru potty training at home. They say they put him on it once a night, and goes each time they put him on it. He is with me for 8 1/2-9 hrs. a day. He is home with them the rest of it, probably an hr. in the am, and about 4 hrs. in the evening. Then also every weekend. They need to have child learn to use it at home, and when he is ready, and say I have to potty, I will assist with it here as well. I do not have time to place child on the potty every 1/2 hr. also for them to be supervised sitting on the potty about 10 min. to see if they will go.
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littlemommy 07:36 AM 02-20-2012
I think I'm going to put a note with my potty training "rules" in her bag tomorrow. How does this sound?

"I am happy to help in the potty training process when your child is ready. Parent must supply 2 changes of clothing, diapers and/or pullups. Child must wear clothing that they can pull up/down themselves. Child can wear underwear after they are accident free at daycare for 2 weeks."

Should I add something about the communication of the child telling me they have to go and how often I can take them in to try?
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Tags:bathroom assistance, potty-training, pull ups, readiness, signs of readiness, toilet training
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