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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>School Cancels Valentines Day!!??
Country Kids 06:19 AM 02-13-2013
A local school has decided to cancel Valentines Day. The principal sent out a letter to parents/students asking no Valentines/candy/small token gifts not be sent into school.

The principal feels their school practices love and friendship on a daily basis so they don't need a special day for it.

I think its fine and great they practice it on a daily basis but why not celebrate that then big time on Valentines day? Funny they didn't cancel Halloween/Harvest or Christmas/Winter party but the you could use as a very teachable moment on Friendship/love is out the window.

Also, I think how all these schools are starting cancel parties/change names/not letting certain grades participate is just making these kids grow up faster. Let them be children the one time they get to and leave the grown up stuff to the grown ups!
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countrymom 06:28 AM 02-13-2013
yup its happening here too. They didn't cancel it but they said one year to bring no candy because kids don't need it and to bring in a non eatable thing to hand out, which is really expensive. I don't know why all this is going on, its pathetic. Last night i went out and bought candy for my kids to hand out.

one year the last principal decided to cancel halloween because she said the 5 students that don't celebrate halloween would feel like outcast, so the kids all signed a petition, including parents and teachers so she had no choice but to let them continue with halloween. and those kids still got candy and were happy to get it.
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DaycareMomma 06:28 AM 02-13-2013
That is ridiculous if you ask me. Why shouldn't these kids be allowed to have fun with Valentines Day. I think it is actually one of the funnest holidays to celebrate for the kids in school!
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Country Kids 06:29 AM 02-13-2013
Oh, the students/parents did a petition collected like 100 signatures or something but it was still a no go.
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itlw8 06:41 AM 02-13-2013
when our boys were small we had a halloween party at school it started at 6. The goal was to get the kids off the street. It worked wonders fun and trick or treating was over by 6:30

They now have a harvest festival and not on halloween. and instead of giving tons of tickets to the kids they now have to buy them so it is really a fundraiser.

They no longer do a school halloween party either because a few families had problems. That is fine the whole school goes rollerskating and it is free. The kids love it.

There was no Christmas party but they did watch a movie and have treats. Time have changed for the grandkids.
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butterfly 06:43 AM 02-13-2013
I see your point.

Frankly, I think it's wonderful that the school has 'cancelled' the holiday. In our schools, they 'celebrate' valentine's day, but no one is taught the reason for the day or even using that day to teach loving others, etc. It's pretty much just a day to get and eat candy at school. I can see from a teachers' and principle's standpoint how it would be easier to do without this holiday.

Our schools are going away from Halloween as well. They don't dress up at school, except for some of the teacher's pick a theme and everyone is to dress accordingly. i.e. a scarecrow, mad scientist, etc.

Even as daycare providers, we typically don't like our dck's all hyped up on sugar and putting up with the sticky mess. I certainly wouldn't want to multiply that effect by a 100 or so kids....

If you want your kids to learn about valentine's day, it's our job as their parents to teach them.
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CedarCreek 06:45 AM 02-13-2013
All of this makes me so sad. I remember being little and having holiday parties at school and thinking they were the best! We spent most of our time at school, not having any festivities takes the magic out of the holiday. poor kiddos today just don't know how great it used to be.
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mamac 06:51 AM 02-13-2013
Originally Posted by countrymom:
yup its happening here too. They didn't cancel it but they said one year to bring no candy because kids don't need it and to bring in a non eatable thing to hand out, which is really expensive. I don't know why all this is going on, its pathetic. Last night i went out and bought candy for my kids to hand out.

one year the last principal decided to cancel halloween because she said the 5 students that don't celebrate halloween would feel like outcast, so the kids all signed a petition, including parents and teachers so she had no choice but to let them continue with halloween. and those kids still got candy and were happy to get it.
My son's school did the same thing for Valentine's Day regarding the no candy rule. They are also only allowed to send valentines to their own homeroom class. He is in private school and the classrooms are open classrooms. Every other holiday or special occasion has been celebrated with both kindergarten classes combined. For some reason they singled out this holiday to separate the classes. My son is very disappointed because he doesn't want his other friends to feel left out. And the weird thing about the candy is they were allowed to bring in treats for Halloween and birthdays, etc.
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Evansmom 06:54 AM 02-13-2013
You know this is just my observation but public schools keep taking away things from their programs and still things don't get better. Over the years there is less time spent on parties, PE, Art etc and more time spent on testing related material but somehow I don't feel kids are getting a better education.
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Blackcat31 07:00 AM 02-13-2013
On the other side of the coin, can you imagine what an additional hassle ANY holiday or celebration is for school teachers and staff?!?

Ugh, kids complaining because they didn't get a Valentine from so-and-so, kids buying those Valentine's that have lollipops, toys and trinkets attached to them. One kid got one, one kid took another kids', Jimmy brought ones with candy on it and Janie is allergic to the nuts in the candy, Suzie got one from Billy but she doesn't want it etc etc....

I'd want to avoid it at all costs too.
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Country Kids 07:07 AM 02-13-2013
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
On the other side of the coin, can you imagine what an additional hassle ANY holiday or celebration is for school teachers and staff?!?

Ugh, kids complaining because they didn't get a Valentine from so-and-so, kids buying those Valentine's that have lollipops, toys and trinkets attached to them. One kid got one, one kid took another kids', Jimmy brought ones with candy on it and Janie is allergic to the nuts in the candy, Suzie got one from Billy but she doesn't want it etc etc....

I'd want to avoid it at all costs too.
No different then it was for our teachers and they seemed to handle it just fine.

Our kids aren't even allowed to get the Valentines out till later I think (when they get home).

Our parties are at the very end of the day and might last 45 min plus the entire room has to be put entirely back. They seem to have time for all types of parties but not Holiday ones that will be with them their entire lifes. I have also noticed it depends on the teachers-in the 6 years my son has been in school only 2 teachers loved giving parties and we went all out. All the kids still talk about those two teachers and actually dread parties in the grade they are in because the teachers are just not fun.
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Solandia 07:10 AM 02-13-2013
I completely understand the schools on this. It is a horrible time to add yet another distraction to the curriculum. The kids are JUST getting into a good focus after winter break, practice for standardized tests is just gearing up (which for us is the first week in March). Spring Break is end of March...It is a funk time of year anyway, you would think a little party would liven things up, but it isn't worth the fallout at a critical time of year.

...for being such a harmless holiday, it sure causes a crap-ton of social issues, too. There is the candy, the someone who gets left out, the kids who can't afford to give any valentines, or forget them at home...cue the drama tears in elementary school.
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CedarCreek 07:12 AM 02-13-2013
Those all seem like things that they have to deal with any way.

"Johnny took my scissors"

"why did Mary get the blue marker? I want a blue marker!"

Kids complain about everything.

I see how holidays can be a hassle but they aren't everyday. Part of being a kid is having fun. I think as adults we tend to forget that sometimes. I say let them have the darn party. Its not going to kill the teachers. I always do a party here. The kids have a blast.
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Springdaze 07:15 AM 02-13-2013
Sounds like that principal doesnt have a valentine! I agree about lets have Halloween, but not Valentine's Day is messed up! If they didnt have Halloween at school, I could almost skip it, which is what I would almost prefer. I agree with Evansmom about taking out all the fun stuff at school but the kids still not learning what they should. Children can learn alot from Valentines day, as well as other celebrations if it is done right. Ok, I get the no candy thing, but come on! Why not just send the kids to the factory when they turn 5!?
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Blackcat31 07:15 AM 02-13-2013
Originally Posted by Country Kids:
No different then it was for our teachers and they seemed to handle it just fine.

Our kids aren't even allowed to get the Valentines out till later I think (when they get home).

Our parties are at the very end of the day and might last 45 min plus the entire room has to be put entirely back. They seem to have time for all types of parties but not Holiday ones that will be with them their entire lifes. I have also noticed it depends on the teachers-in the 6 years my son has been in school only 2 teachers loved giving parties and we went all out. All the kids still talk about those two teachers and actually dread parties in the grade they are in because the teachers are just not fun.
I disagree with this as far as MY experience goes. The way parties and such are handled and dealt with now days is NOTHING like it was when I was a kid or when my own were kids.

None of the parties are at the end of the day but rather are part of the whole day. Kids opened Valentine's during the day. My kids brought ALL theirs home opened and eaten already (if there was food attached).

May have been completely different for you and if so, I totally see your perspective then but I agree with everything Solandia said.

Originally Posted by Solandia:
I completely understand the schools on this. It is a horrible time to add yet another distraction to the curriculum. The kids are JUST getting into a good focus after winter break, practice for standardized tests is just gearing up (which for us is the first week in March). Spring Break is end of March...It is a funk time of year anyway, you would think a little party would liven things up, but it isn't worth the fallout at a critical time of year.

...for being such a harmless holiday, it sure causes a crap-ton of social issues, too. There is the candy, the someone who gets left out, the kids who can't afford to give any valentines, or forget them at home...cue the drama tears in elementary school.
I totally agree!


Plus, I kind of feel like "love" and the whole idea of Valentine's is something I would feel better about doing with MY own child(ren) privately within my own family.
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CedarCreek 07:17 AM 02-13-2013
Kids being left out happens with Valentines. It happens in life too. At some point they need to learn that.

I'm not one of those "everyone gets a trophy" kind of gals though.
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CedarCreek 07:20 AM 02-13-2013
I will say though that when I was a kid, you got to eat one piece of candy from the Valentines you got and the rest you put in your bag to go home. I think that was a good way of handling it.
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Blackcat31 07:20 AM 02-13-2013
Originally Posted by CedarCreek:
Kids being left out happens with Valentines. It happens in life too. At some point they need to learn that.

I'm not one of those "everyone gets a trophy" kind of gals though.
Me either. But I am one of those, "let's celebrate holidays with family and NOT make everything part of a lesson the kids should have to learn in school" kind of gals.

I celebrate NO holidays in my child care. NONE of my daycare kids are deprived or have any type of emotional baggage because of it.

I can see both sides to this argument and don't really care either way but as a business owner I am glad that I have the choice.
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countrymom 07:21 AM 02-13-2013
our parties are at the end of the day and all food goes home (but we are not allowed to send home made stuff anymore anyways and it all has to be nut free) no one opens their stuff in school, and really its about a half hour for the party. My own children love to hand candy out to their friends, they enjoy it and love making kids happy.
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daycarediva 07:25 AM 02-13-2013
Ds's school is doing valentines party at the very end of the day, it should last 30 minutes. The kids are making bags in the morning. They can walk around, hand out their valentines and then sit and eat their cupcakes and drink a cup of juice & then have free play until it's time to leave. Then they go home, well played, teachers. Well played.

Which is PRECISELY when we are having dessert snack at daycare, right before they leave.
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Country Kids 07:26 AM 02-13-2013
"I disagree with this as fara s MY experience goes. The way parties and such are handled and dealt with now days is NOTHING like it was when I was a kid or when my own were kids.

None of the parties are at the end of the day but rather are part of the whole day. Kids opened Valentine's during the day. My kids brought ALL theirs home opened and eaten already (if there was food attached)."

No, ours where throughout the entire day also when I was young and my older kids but now its at the very end of the day, rushed through it, and out the door. Also, some teachers really don't even want parents involvement! Its a shame.

Also, for schools they can have an assemblies/parties for everything but holidays. Also, this is once in a lifetime thing for these kids. If adults can't take an hour or two out of the day to do something special with the kids (showing some enthusiasm) thats sad. What a way to show some "love" and make the kids a good memory and one that will last with them.

Anyway I think this principal will receive some feedback as they named him, the school.
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youretooloud 07:29 AM 02-13-2013
WOw.. those valentines cards were a big deal when I was in school. I loved them. I loved looking at them later, and buying them.
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CedarCreek 07:32 AM 02-13-2013
If that's what floats your boat BC, awesome.

I think it should be acknowledged at school though as well as with family, kids do spend their day at school. It is a place for learning after all. And they can learn a lot from holidays.
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Country Kids 07:48 AM 02-13-2013
Originally Posted by CedarCreek:
If that's what floats your boat BC, awesome.

I think it should be acknowledged at school though as well as with family, kids do spend their day at school. It is a place for learning after all. And they can learn a lot from holidays.

Second paragraph-
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Blackcat31 07:50 AM 02-13-2013
Originally Posted by CedarCreek:
It is a place for learning after all. And they can learn a lot from holidays.
Disclaimer: I have NO personal stake in this. I do have my own personal feelings about it but also love a good discussion about BOTH sides of a topic.

I agree that kids can definitely learn a lot from holidays but where do we draw the line?

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Evansmom 07:57 AM 02-13-2013
I can see both sides of it, I've been a teacher in elementary school classrooms. I know it's a distraction from curriculum to have a holiday party. But I just haven't seen an improvement in academic performance in the schools I have been in after the PE, Art and holiday parties were limited or taken out of the day. So I'm only talking from my personal experience.
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bunnyslippers 07:59 AM 02-13-2013
Our school is doing a Friendship Jam, and it is being performed tomorrow morning. The kids in grades K-2 are singing all sorts of fun songs, and the families get to go watch. I can't wait!
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jessrlee 08:08 AM 02-13-2013
Let the kids be kids! Holiday parties are fun! Our kids need all of the social experience they can get now days!
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Oneluckymom 08:12 AM 02-13-2013
These same holidays are celebrated at my kids school. However, for birthdays, valentines day, etc the candy passed out stays in the cubby until the end of the day. Its eaten at home. The only thing eaten in class are cupcakes, cookies.

In my DD Kindy class they celebrate birthdays by lumping four months of birthdays and celebrate them on a single day...for example the birthdays in NOV, DEC, Jan, and Feb will be celebrated together and the parents who's kids have birthdays at that time will all bring in goodies for the class to share.

I like this idea...otherwise you have so many birthdays a month that it takes away from class time.
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mamac 08:30 AM 02-13-2013
Originally Posted by Solandia:
I completely understand the schools on this. It is a horrible time to add yet another distraction to the curriculum. The kids are JUST getting into a good focus after winter break, practice for standardized tests is just gearing up (which for us is the first week in March). Spring Break is end of March...It is a funk time of year anyway, you would think a little party would liven things up, but it isn't worth the fallout at a critical time of year.

...for being such a harmless holiday, it sure causes a crap-ton of social issues, too. There is the candy, the someone who gets left out, the kids who can't afford to give any valentines, or forget them at home...cue the drama tears in elementary school.
Wow. My son's school must have a much different schedule. This is their last week before winter break. It seems since they've been back from Christmas break they've already had so many days off with teacher appreciation, holidays and snow days. Then spring break is mid-April! I never realized how much time off schools had until mine started this year.
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mrsp'slilpeeps 08:34 AM 02-13-2013
I see everyone's point too, but are we really celebrating the holidays for what they are really for??

Take christmas for example, its all I want, I want, I want. Im sorry but who's birthday is it?

Its too comercialized, Buy your sweetheart a billion dollar piece of gold!!!

Have you ever heard of just celebrating your love for one another without all the monitary crap that goes with it?

Sorry, just my 2 cents!!
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Childminder 08:38 AM 02-13-2013
Why does the principal get to make this decision? Is it district wide? or just this school.

As to your comment BC about let them celebrate as families, a lot of families don't or won't so the children would miss out on some very important learning opportunities. If it wasn't for school celebrating or at least encouraging holiday celebrations, for instance Mother's Day, I personally would not have received any acknowledgement as a mother. My DH at the time said: "You are not my mother why would I?". Even though I was the mother of his children.

I didn't learn about St Valentine from my parents, I learned at school. Public school. What about Presidents Day? The kids get the day off for that, they aren't learning a thing about it from school. Do you as a parent celebrate and use the day as a learning opportunity?

JMHO
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mamac 08:38 AM 02-13-2013
Originally Posted by Evansmom:
I can see both sides of it, I've been a teacher in elementary school classrooms. I know it's a distraction from curriculum to have a holiday party. But I just haven't seen an improvement in academic performance in the schools I have been in after the PE, Art and holiday parties were limited or taken out of the day. So I'm only talking from my personal experience.
I forgot to add that although my son is not allowed to bring in his own treats to share the school is planning on having a special party and treats for all students during lunch time when it won't affect the class schedule. I'm not upset that he can't bring his own, (less candy the better) but I wish they wouldn't have changed the rules on including both classes for the cards. The rule usually is if you bring invitations or anything to share in to school the entire class has to be included or it has to be done outside of school. He feels like he is being unfair to his other friends.
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Blackcat31 08:47 AM 02-13-2013
Originally Posted by Childminder:
Why does the principal get to make this decision? Is it district wide? or just this school.

As to your comment BC about let them celebrate as families, a lot of families don't or won't so the children would miss out on some very important learning opportunities. If it wasn't for school celebrating or at least encouraging holiday celebrations, for instance Mother's Day, I personally would not have received any acknowledgement as a mother. My DH at the time said: "You are not my mother why would I?". Even though I was the mother of his children.

I didn't learn about St Valentine from my parents, I learned at school. Public school. What about Presidents Day? The kids get the day off for that, they aren't learning a thing about it from school. Do you as a parent celebrate and use the day as a learning opportunity?

JMHO
I understand that alot of families don't or won't but I surely wouldn't expect teachers to make up for families that don't or won't.

I am sorry your DH said that to you and I feel badly that you would have gone without a Mother's Day gift/card but again I just don't feel that should be the schools or teachers responsibility.

I too learned about St Valentine.....but I learned the most about him in church NOT school. I think some of the "commercialism" of holidays that started out as religious celebrations are kind of disrespectful in some sense.

I can see why some families opt to remain neutral and I fully understand why schools simple want to not participate at all. There are way too many cultural beliefs and customs to please everyone all the time.

If schools are simply doing Valentine's Day for the commercial aspect of it...then great...but still what an "additional" pain in the rump for some teachers.
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nannyde 09:02 AM 02-13-2013
I don't think it's very complicated. I don't think it has a fig to do with religion or celebrations. I think it has to do with a declining participation from parents to the point where the school takes on nearly the entire thing on their own. They don't have the budget and the teachers don't want to spend their own money.

I think it's a deal of parents wanting their kid to have it but want someone else to do the work. Some will do the money of buying the pieces of it but want someone else to do the work.

In order to make it a good time and FAIR the teachers are having to do the majority of it. As the years go by the teachers are more like the parents... they don't want the hassle either. The principal most likely responded to a group of adults not wanting to do it.

Look at Bunny's thread: https://www.daycare.com/forum/showthread.php?t=59779

He hands me a bag of the kids valentines cards ( all three kids) and their class lists. He lets me know they need to be filled out before pick-up, and that the SA kids can do his own.

THIS is why. (see above)
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hope 09:26 AM 02-13-2013
Two years ago I made the decision to celebrate everything.....n i do mean everything! My family will now celebrate every holiday, milestone, change of seasons, accomplishment, u name it. My husband was diagnosed with Cancer so I wanted to build as many memories for my children as possible. These celebrations have taught our children so much more than we ever realized. This weekend my four year old daughter took out a map to locate China because we were celebrating Chinese New Year! At four, being special needs, she already knows how to locate other countries n explain their cultures because we made a point to celebrate. Schoos need to keep in mind that children can learn other than from books.
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KDC 09:37 AM 02-13-2013
In my day... (I'm 37), we would pick out a valentine box of cards, or make them all homemade. We weren't too busy with iPads, video games, TV shows, sport practice after sport practice... we were made to write out our OWN valentines. They weren't "goodie bags", they didn't have candy. We WERE able to write names on them in the 'TO' line (now we're told to expedite the hand out, they should remain blank in the 'to' line). I remember trying to sort them, because there was a boy or a girl I really liked and wanted them to get my favorite valentines... and some that I didn't want to send the wrong message too (No "I love you" valentine for the kid in the corner who eats his boogers). This was part of my childhood, and it's a fond memory.

I think there are all the rule breakers that make it NO fun. The parents who put pressure on all the other kids to give out goodie bags to be part of the in crowd, always up-ing the anty. It's either big party, or nothing. School should be about learning social skills (how to make and keep a friendship -- this is a huge part of life), how to take time out from yourself to be nice to others... not just the academic learning. Taking the time to write out valentines for others, not just what candy you get. More about the message than the gifts. I try to encourage this in my daycare... we learn to to interact with each other on a social level -- no bullies, be nice, do things for others feels good & and learn academically through play.

It's sad that schools would just rather cancel a holiday rather than place limits. Children with allergies shouldn't be made to feel bad, Children with less fortunate financial situations should not be made to feel bad -- You CAN celebrate Valentines day without candy or extravagance. Just my thoughts, and opinion...
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Country Kids 09:49 AM 02-13-2013
UPDATE:

A friend of mine has a cousin that attends this school. The mom is very up in arms because the school celebrated Chinese New Years. She is fine celebrating it but not taking away Valentines, either do all or none.
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My3cents 09:53 AM 02-13-2013
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
Disclaimer: I have NO personal stake in this. I do have my own personal feelings about it but also love a good discussion about BOTH sides of a topic.

I agree that kids can definitely learn a lot from holidays but where do we draw the line?
  • Jan 1 New Year’s Day
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If your not happy with your school deciding to not do holidays or what not, join the PTA- PTO and get involved in the decision making-

I celebrate. I will do anything for a cupcake Do I celebrate all the above- no, I pick and choose and hope to not offend anyone. My celebrations are small. I have the kids take home Valentines, Birthday presents, and Christmas presents to open with their parents. Celebrating special days is fun and tradition and just something I want to do. If I had a Jewish kid, I would celebrate some of that and sometimes I do celebrate or talk about it just because I Want to. I also ask that parents are involved but if someone chooses to not be involved I don't let it bother me or make drama out of it. Another thing is I feel like I am a stepping stone to school and if they learn to take part here, hopefully they will take part when they go school and be involved in the little's schooling. No Guarantees-

With my family I celebrate to the ability that I am able to. Some years we have not had the money to do anything and others are more fun.

When my kids were young a few years we made valentines. I pulled out the craft stuff and we made each class member one, maybe stuck a lolly on the back of it. Some years I was lazy and bought them.

I say do what floats your boat. I do see teachable moments but I also see fun and memories for something that comes around once a year and the majority of peeps take part in on some level.

Now Shamrock shakes........ come on how fun is that!!!
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Country Kids 09:57 AM 02-13-2013
Originally Posted by My3cents:
If your not happy with your school deciding to not do holidays or what not, join the PTA- PTO and get involved in the decision making-

I celebrate. I will do anything for a cupcake Do I celebrate all the above- no, I pick and choose and hope to not offend anyone. My celebrations are small. I have the kids take home Valentines, Birthday presents, and Christmas presents to open with their parents. Celebrating special days is fun and tradition and just something I want to do. If I had a Jewish kid, I would celebrate some of that and sometimes I do celebrate or talk about it just because I Want to. I also ask that parents are involved but if someone chooses to not be involved I don't let it bother me or make drama out of it. Another thing is I feel like I am a stepping stone to school and if they learn to take part here, hopefully they will take part when they go school and be involved in the little's schooling. No Guarantees-

With my family I celebrate to the ability that I am able to. Some years we have not had the money to do anything and others are more fun.

When my kids were young a few years we made valentines. I pulled out the craft stuff and we made each class member one, maybe stuck a lolly on the back of it. Some years I was lazy and bought them.

I say do what floats your boat. I do see teachable moments but I also see fun and memories for something that comes around once a year and the majority of peeps take part in on some level.

Now Shamrock shakes........ come on how fun is that!!!

The thing is with this particular school and other schools in the area I'm noticing that the final decision is now up to the principal. We have had things change alot due to a new principle and how they want things run. The pta, pto has to have it approved first and if its something the priciple doesn't want its a no go.
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Play Care 10:01 AM 02-13-2013
I do celebrate some of the holidays at dc because I tie them into our monthly themes. The kids do learn about the history and meaning behind the day. BUT I'll admit I have scaled back, although for probably the opposite reason most would think - my parents went overboard with it. Every holiday was a gift bag full of toys and treats, and they would keep reminding the kids about the party, etc. I would go all out - playing special games, making special treats, etc. only to have the kids seem let down that there wasn't more to it!

I guess I would be annoyed since they made this decision so close to the day and many of the kids probably already had their Valentine cards made out. I think it they are going to make those blanket bans, then it should be done prior to the start of the school year.
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EchoMom 10:05 AM 02-13-2013
Until 2 years ago I was an elementary classroom teacher. Until a few months ago my mom was a classroom teacher for 20+ years. This is something we talk about often...

This is rarely rarely the parents, teacher, or principal's fault. This is a result of the political pressure on education in our country overall. TEACHERS are not the policy makers, politicians are. They don't understand whatsoever what it takes to teach children, and that children are very very different depending upon the demographic they come from.

Schools are EXPECTED to have ALL children reach a level of achievement success, primarly marked by testing. EVERYONE is feeling the effects of this and it is ruining childhood education, IMO. Believe me, it is horrible for everyone. There is no TIME for parties because of the constant assessing and the way the curriculum has been so pushed down to raise the measurement standards to younger and younger children, whether they're ready or not. It's awful, IMO.

This affects not only parties, but recess, art time, fun time, social time, etc etc etc. But don't even get me started, I could really go on and on about the state of education and what it's become...
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mom2many 10:27 AM 02-13-2013
I think it's sad that this school has decided to stop celebrating Valentine's Day. I remember having fond memories of exchanging valentine cards with classmates, but back then, candy and other sweets were not part of it...just simple little cards.

I can totally understand limiting the sugar intake during class time! I know what it is like to have my S/A dcks come home after "celebrating"...& if it's a rainy day & they can't play outside, I'm really in trouble!

I always do a simple little valentine craft with the younger ones to take home to their parents and depending on the age I have, I make heart shaped sugar cookies for them to decorate w/frosting & sprinkles. However, this is a morning activity and the S/A get a "healthy" snack when they get home, since they are usually sugared out anyways.

I don't ever make a huge deal with individual valentines for them either. Just something little. This year I got teddy grahams to put in little cellophane bags and am attaching a heart shaped tag that says, "Bear Hugs from _____ Happy Valentine's Day!" (Gotta LOVE pinterest for ideas, since I am "creativity handicapped"!)

I'm all about finding a reason to make every day special & fun and simply use this day to celebrate love & friendship!
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Evansmom 10:28 AM 02-13-2013
Originally Posted by EchoMom:
Until 2 years ago I was an elementary classroom teacher. Until a few months ago my mom was a classroom teacher for 20+ years. This is something we talk about often...

This is rarely rarely the parents, teacher, or principal's fault. This is a result of the political pressure on education in our country overall. TEACHERS are not the policy makers, politicians are. They don't understand whatsoever what it takes to teach children, and that children are very very different depending upon the demographic they come from.

Schools are EXPECTED to have ALL children reach a level of achievement success, primarly marked by testing. EVERYONE is feeling the effects of this and it is ruining childhood education, IMO. Believe me, it is horrible for everyone. There is no TIME for parties because of the constant assessing and the way the curriculum has been so pushed down to raise the measurement standards to younger and younger children, whether they're ready or not. It's awful, IMO.

This affects not only parties, but recess, art time, fun time, social time, etc etc etc. But don't even get me started, I could really go on and on about the state of education and what it's become...


This is what I was trying to say but you said it much, much, better.
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juliebug 10:32 AM 02-13-2013
My kids are going to be so hyped up on candy that i would love their school to cancel they did change things up this year and shortened all partys are at the end of the day and only for 30min so that really changed they used to last 1hr or more. i really don't see why the kids need more candy sugar or treats. if it was exchanging cards, playing games, sure but every party around here centers on food and candy!!! none of it healthy either!
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jokalima 10:36 AM 02-13-2013
It was so nice for me as a child to grow up celebrating all these things, we looked forward to giving our friends special cards and just seeing decorations, it made us happy I want my child to have that same experience during his childhood, everything is so grown up for them lately, I want him to enjoy being a kid.
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Country Kids 10:39 AM 02-13-2013
Our school is very frustrating when it comes to parties. It wasn't when my older kids went there but now-uugghh

We have only had two "fun" teachers in six years for parties. The rest-blah.

Kindergarten-kids had to still do work during parties and parents are just standing around not sure what to do. ( I was room mom)

1st grade-Very limited on what we could/couldn't do (me and another mom were room moms)

2nd grade-What a Blast (I was room mom) and this teacher let me do what ever I wanted. We had stations set up with different activities and all. The kids all said how much fun they had and the teacher loved that they had to do very little in party way. Said they never had such a wonderful turn out!

3rd grade-same as second grade!

4th grade-another mom was room mom and tried but teacher just didn't seem into it.

5th grade-by this time no one seems to want to participate and the moms that are trying to put it together are frustrated by this.

5th grade has by far been the hardest-No costumes for Harvest party and not allowed to participate with rest of school in costume parade. Nothing to refer to Christmas at all during the month/party(party planning mom was told this), yet another grade had a Christmas tree! Wasn't really welcoming to parents it felt like. Valentines day-parents welcome to join, sent a note home for us to say what we could bring. No moms want to help at this point! We still have two big activities for the year and none of the kids are excited which is sad to me.
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SilverSabre25 10:41 AM 02-13-2013
And here we reach another reason why I feel that homeschool is about to be the best choice for my family. I feel that all the "fluff" is as valuable as the "meat"--and it's poor "meat" at that these days what with all the dumb standardized tests, NCLB, etc.

Children are having their childhood stolen from them, and it's a terrible thing. School should not be sit down at your desk filling out worksheets and listening to the teacher drone, for six hours, with a break for lunch. That's prison, not school. But, that's what we're moving more and more towards. Take away parties, take away crafts, take away recess, take away gym and music and art, take away birthdays, take away holidays...what's left?
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Evansmom 11:00 AM 02-13-2013
Originally Posted by SilverSabre25:
And here we reach another reason why I feel that homeschool is about to be the best choice for my family. I feel that all the "fluff" is as valuable as the "meat"--and it's poor "meat" at that these days what with all the dumb standardized tests, NCLB, etc.

Children are having their childhood stolen from them, and it's a terrible thing. School should not be sit down at your desk filling out worksheets and listening to the teacher drone, for six hours, with a break for lunch. That's prison, not school. But, that's what we're moving more and more towards. Take away parties, take away crafts, take away recess, take away gym and music and art, take away birthdays, take away holidays...what's left?
So true and I agree which is one of the many reasons why I got out of the classroom. My first two went through public schools, second one will graduate in 3 years but my youngest is only 5 and we are homeschooling him. Plus part of my business is offering classes to other homeschoolers and its been a joy to get to teach them!
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SilverSabre25 11:34 AM 02-13-2013
Originally Posted by Evansmom:
So true and I agree which is one of the many reasons why I got out of the classroom. My first two went through public schools, second one will graduate in 3 years but my youngest is only 5 and we are homeschooling him. Plus part of my business is offering classes to other homeschoolers and its been a joy to get to teach them!
I was supposed to be an elementary school teacher by now and I would for SURE be one of the fun teachers. But that didn't work out for us, and now I"m not so sure I will ever go into the classroom. Too much politics, not enough love of children and learning.

I may someday open up my own affordable MOntessori/Reggio/RIE/etc inspired preschool/center. Maybe.
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Evansmom 11:46 AM 02-13-2013
Originally Posted by SilverSabre25:
I was supposed to be an elementary school teacher by now and I would for SURE be one of the fun teachers. But that didn't work out for us, and now I"m not so sure I will ever go into the classroom. Too much politics, not enough love of children and learning.

I may someday open up my own affordable MOntessori/Reggio/RIE/etc inspired preschool/center. Maybe.
Can I work with you?! I'm greatly inspired by Montessori/Reggio/Waldorf and pull heavily from those in my work.

I'm probably going to try to expand my business as my son grows too but less child care and more teaching homeschool classes. We have a lady here in town who we take classes from who teaches Robotics with Legos. My son has a blast and her classes are always booked!
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DCBlessings27 12:57 PM 02-13-2013
Originally Posted by SilverSabre25:

Children are having their childhood stolen from them, and it's a terrible thing. School should not be sit down at your desk filling out worksheets and listening to the teacher drone, for six hours, with a break for lunch. That's prison, not school. But, that's what we're moving more and more towards. Take away parties, take away crafts, take away recess, take away gym and music and art, take away birthdays, take away holidays...what's left?
I agree with this. I taught high school, but I made it a point to have a celebration at the end of the semester because the kids don't really get to have fun/relaxed atmosphere in school anymore. The first school I taught had a plan (down to how many weeks spent on each story/book)for every teacher teaching that class for the whole district. It was very limiting on me creatively.

I don't run my daycare by sitting the kids down with worksheets because I feel they need to be kids before sitting at desks for 13 years. I'd rather and do teach my daycare kids and my odd without sitting her at a desk and taking the fun out of learning.
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DCBlessings27 01:03 PM 02-13-2013
This situation makes me sad for my daughters' future schooling. I had planned to make time to help out in the classroom for events such as Valentine's parties, and I'll be sad if all schools start canceling holiday parties.
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Country Kids 03:07 PM 02-13-2013
http://www.kval.com/news/local/Schoo...190941081.html

Here is the link to the actual news link.

I do find it funny that nothing was said about them not celebrating anything at the school when they were doing the interview-now it says they don't do any type of celebrating holidays or birthdays. If the kids know this why raise such a stink and the parents also. I find it funny that they would pick one holiday to raise such a fuss about.

Yet they have a holiday food policy memo! Why do this if you don't allow any type of holiday parties.

All I have to say is I'm very glad my kids do not attend that school-it seems that can't decide what they do and don't do!
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Childminder 08:53 PM 02-13-2013
Hmmm...is the principal a Jehovah's witness?
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Kaddidle Care 04:42 AM 02-14-2013
Originally Posted by nannyde:
I don't think it's very complicated. I don't think it has a fig to do with religion or celebrations. I think it has to do with a declining participation from parents to the point where the school takes on nearly the entire thing on their own. They don't have the budget and the teachers don't want to spend their own money.

I think it's a deal of parents wanting their kid to have it but want someone else to do the work. Some will do the money of buying the pieces of it but want someone else to do the work.

In order to make it a good time and FAIR the teachers are having to do the majority of it. As the years go by the teachers are more like the parents... they don't want the hassle either. The principal most likely responded to a group of adults not wanting to do it.

Look at Bunny's thread: https://www.daycare.com/forum/showthread.php?t=59779

He hands me a bag of the kids valentines cards ( all three kids) and their class lists. He lets me know they need to be filled out before pick-up, and that the SA kids can do his own.

THIS is why. (see above)
Ding, Ding, Ding! What she said! ^
If a Party is so important, there's no reason why the parents can't get together and have an after school party for their kids! ♥

What used to annoy me was the Halloween Parade in my child's school where everyone got to participate EXCEPT the 5th graders! That was just rotten.

But.. alas.. thanks to a moron with a gun, there will be no more Halloween parades at school around here.
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CedarCreek 04:59 AM 02-14-2013
Originally Posted by Kaddidle Care:
Ding, Ding, Ding! What she said! ^
If a Party is so important, there's no reason why the parents can't get together and have an after school party for their kids! ♥

What used to annoy me was the Halloween Parade in my child's school where everyone got to participate EXCEPT the 5th graders! That was just rotten.

But.. alas.. thanks to a moron with a gun, there will be no more Halloween parades at school around here.
Holy crap, what?! What happened with a gun at the parade?
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Kaddidle Care 06:02 AM 02-14-2013
Originally Posted by CedarCreek:
Holy crap, what?! What happened with a gun at the parade?
No.. nothing here - the Connecticut shooting.

They have vamped up security big time in our schools. It's only going to keep the honest people honest - just like the locks on your doors.

We, as parents cannot enter the school without an appointment, anything that you need to drop off to your child is to be dropped in a container in front of the school, etc., etc.

One school a few miles away now has an armed security guard.
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Country Kids 06:36 AM 02-14-2013
Originally Posted by Kaddidle Care:
Ding, Ding, Ding! What she said! ^
If a Party is so important, there's no reason why the parents can't get together and have an after school party for their kids! ♥

What used to annoy me was the Halloween Parade in my child's school where everyone got to participate EXCEPT the 5th graders! That was just rotten.

But.. alas.. thanks to a moron with a gun, there will be no more Halloween parades at school around here.


That our school-the 5th graders have a party but no costume, no parade=
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UrKidnMe 07:28 AM 02-14-2013
Originally Posted by KDC:
In my day... (I'm 37), we would pick out a valentine box of cards, or make them all homemade. We weren't too busy with iPads, video games, TV shows, sport practice after sport practice... we were made to write out our OWN valentines. They weren't "goodie bags", they didn't have candy. We WERE able to write names on them in the 'TO' line (now we're told to expedite the hand out, they should remain blank in the 'to' line). I remember trying to sort them, because there was a boy or a girl I really liked and wanted them to get my favorite valentines... and some that I didn't want to send the wrong message too (No "I love you" valentine for the kid in the corner who eats his boogers). This was part of my childhood, and it's a fond memory.

I think there are all the rule breakers that make it NO fun. The parents who put pressure on all the other kids to give out goodie bags to be part of the in crowd, always up-ing the anty. It's either big party, or nothing. School should be about learning social skills (how to make and keep a friendship -- this is a huge part of life), how to take time out from yourself to be nice to others... not just the academic learning. Taking the time to write out valentines for others, not just what candy you get. More about the message than the gifts. I try to encourage this in my daycare... we learn to to interact with each other on a social level -- no bullies, be nice, do things for others feels good & and learn academically through play.

It's sad that schools would just rather cancel a holiday rather than place limits. Children with allergies shouldn't be made to feel bad, Children with less fortunate financial situations should not be made to feel bad -- You CAN celebrate Valentines day without candy or extravagance. Just my thoughts, and opinion...
As I was reading everyone's responses I had all these thoughts going through my head and then I read yours, you must have been reading my mind! My hubby and I just talked about the same exact things. I am 35 and I have the same exact memories of my school Valentine's party! I am kind of sad that my kids wont grow up with the same memories. Their school has not cancelled Valentine's Day but they might as well. They dont get time to enjoy the day. They can't pick out special Valentine's for each friend. Just write their name on it and hand them out. It would take too much work and time if they had to hand each card out to a specific person. No more home made treats. Only store bought because of allergies. And of course we have to sign a permission slip for the kids to be able to participate in case we dont believe in celebrating. I am not saying I dont agree with some changes, just that things have changed! Someone else said that taking these things away is another way for kids to grow up too fast. I agree. I wish so much that kids just got to be kids! Yes it is more work to do class parties. What job is out there that there aren't days that are a little more difficult. I celebrate with my daycare kids. Yes, it gets messy and there is more to clean up, yes, it is more work for me and they do bicker. But it is all a part of life! In the end they have had a fun day and it is memories they will always have. It is a day in the middle of the week that we can take a break from our normal routine and let the kids have fun. School is hard work for the kids too. I just dont think it is fair to take away more and more from them every year. I understand that school is a place for learning and education but there is also room for fun and a break from the everyday schedule.
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safechner 08:15 AM 02-14-2013
My youngest daughter's school have NO holidays party. School districts' policy is not allowed for anyone to bring candy, cupcakes, or any junk foods due to allergies. I also heard from my daughter that they are not allowed students give special to the teachers. However, they do allowed exchange valentine's day cards with pencils, toys, etc.., that would be it. That sucks! My daughter always said it is NOT fair because my oldest daughter goes to private school and she does have a lot of holidays party. She brings cupcakes to school for parties sometimes.
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