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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>What to do with Parents that send poop stained clothing
bork276 10:16 AM 08-03-2012
Help, I need some advice! I have a family that is a major pain in the ass anyways! Well, now they have been sending their 6 month old daughter in poop stain clothes! And not little stains, I am talking the big stains on the back, white socks that now look yellow from poop stain! First time i did it she said oh did she have a blow out i said no there is a huge poop stain i figured you didn't notice it, and she is like oh i know. And the car seat is also stained yellow! What would you do? Should I write a letter? Should I confront her? We often go the park and stuff and as a daycare its embarassing for people to see one of my daycare kids this gross. I feel it makes me look like a bad daycare! Should i not allow her to leave car seat anymore. Her car seat smells so bad i have to put it in the garage. I really would like to terminate them. Anyone else run into this problem.
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cheerfuldom 10:24 AM 08-03-2012
Originally Posted by bork276:
Help, I need some advice! I have a family that is a major pain in the ass anyways! Well, now they have been sending their 6 month old daughter in poop stain clothes! And not little stains, I am talking the big stains on the back, white socks that now look yellow from poop stain! First time i did it she said oh did she have a blow out i said no there is a huge poop stain i figured you didn't notice it, and she is like oh i know. And the car seat is also stained yellow! What would you do? Should I write a letter? Should I confront her? We often go the park and stuff and as a daycare its embarassing for people to see one of my daycare kids this gross. I feel it makes me look like a bad daycare! Should i not allow her to leave car seat anymore. Her car seat smells so bad i have to put it in the garage. I really would like to terminate them. Anyone else run into this problem.
I think you just have to figure out if you are willing to work with them (assuming they make any appropriate changed) or if you would just rather term. If you would rather just term, dont even say all the issues....just give them a notice telling them you can not meet their needs right now and the last date of care is X date.
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My3cents 10:24 AM 08-03-2012
Just send home dirty clothes and ask that they send in clean clothing.

Car seat- sorry no car seats can be left in my home anymore because of space and safety issues. Thank you. I don't allow this. Parents can arrange to transfer car seat or have an extra one if needed. Most car seats come apart so that you can wash them-pain but they do

One word for you


GROSS!

If it keeps up ask her if she has clean clothing, because it is not exceptable to send her child in dirty clothing it is considered a form of neglect. Recommend that she used dreft stain spray on her clothing.

Maybe change the diapers she is using or go up a size-

Then you have to decide if you want to put up with it or not. I am thinking your on the Not side of things. Stinky situation, literally.

Best-
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countrymom 10:40 AM 08-03-2012
blah! omg blah!
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Willow 10:54 AM 08-03-2012
Communication is a huge part of retaining happy long term families IMHO.

Just talk to her, it's not that big of a deal I'm sure.

"Hey mom, can you bring some non-stained clothes because that's what I prefer? And her carseat could use a good wash, I'll send it home with you and you can bring it back next time you come, thank you!"




Personally I prefer parents bring their kids in grubby clothes as long as they're washed grubby clothes. They get filthy here, I don't like worrying about who's getting paint or marker or mud and chalk on this that or the other. If kids don't leave needing a serious bath at the end of the day we didn't do near enough fun stuff.
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Heidi 11:18 AM 08-03-2012
Originally Posted by Willow:
Communication is a huge part of retaining happy long term families IMHO.

Just talk to her, it's not that big of a deal I'm sure.

"Hey mom, can you bring some non-stained clothes because that's what I prefer? And her carseat could use a good wash, I'll send it home with you and you can bring it back next time you come, thank you!"




Personally I prefer parents bring their kids in grubby clothes as long as they're washed grubby clothes. They get filthy here, I don't like worrying about who's getting paint or marker or mud and chalk on this that or the other. If kids don't leave needing a serious bath at the end of the day we didn't do near enough fun stuff.
I'm the same way...if they come clean, they'll probably go home dirty anyway. But, it's FRESH dirt!

As for the poop stain, are we talking washed-but-stained, or are we talking unwashed? Big difference!
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bork276 11:20 AM 08-03-2012
they are washed and stained. car seat i have suggested several times to wash but she says oh a wipe is good enough! I don't mind dirty clothes either so i'm not worrying about markers, etc. but poop stains to me is disgusting even if it washed. and of course she uses unscented so they always reak!
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My3cents 11:33 AM 08-03-2012
Originally Posted by Willow:
Communication is a huge part of retaining happy long term families IMHO.

Just talk to her, it's not that big of a deal I'm sure.

"Hey mom, can you bring some non-stained clothes because that's what I prefer? And her carseat could use a good wash, I'll send it home with you and you can bring it back next time you come, thank you!"




Personally I prefer parents bring their kids in grubby clothes as long as they're washed grubby clothes. They get filthy here, I don't like worrying about who's getting paint or marker or mud and chalk on this that or the other. If kids don't leave needing a serious bath at the end of the day we didn't do near enough fun stuff.




I love this and this is me too! I would just mention dreft stain spray. It works well and is gentle.

Talk to her and if she tries to blow you off or make no big deal of it, just settle with her and say look this really bugs me can we please try here.

Another idea is to ask her for a bunch of clothes that are kept with you and just wash them yourself, or pick up a supply cheap. Not ideal but it might ease your mind that the child is at least clean at your house.

Best- let us know how you make out with this one
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Blackcat31 12:11 PM 08-03-2012
Originally Posted by bork276:
they are washed and stained. car seat i have suggested several times to wash but she says oh a wipe is good enough! I don't mind dirty clothes either so i'm not worrying about markers, etc. but poop stains to me is disgusting even if it washed. and of course she uses unscented so they always reak!
I know poop stains are gross but if it is cleaned and only stained...then not much you can really do unless you simply want to be blunt and tell her she can't bring her child in stained clothing.

Hints aren't going to cut it as you are finding out with the car seat.

If it really bothers you (as it would me too) you will just have to stop suggesting and hinting and start insisting.

"DCM, this car seat is really dirty and I refuse to use it while your daughter is in my care. You will need to take it home and wash it thoroughly or I will not allow it to stay on my property. Thank you."


If she says a wipe is good enough you can say "Maybe by your standards but not for mine" and smile sweetly as you physically hand the seat to her.

People behave how YOU allow them to. Stop allowing her to do something you aren't ok with. If she is not ok with your rules, she can find other care. If you are unhappy with her behavior, require that she change it (and the stained clothing) and if she won't, then term.

Otherwise, the only other option would be to simply deal with it.
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momma2girls 12:21 PM 08-03-2012
Reading this post- made me think of a good question for everyone-
Do you allow infant car seats into your daycare home? I think they are a pain in the butt, to leave in the foyer area of my house. THere are times I have two of them!!!
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Blackcat31 12:33 PM 08-03-2012
Originally Posted by momma2girls:
Reading this post- made me think of a good question for everyone-
Do you allow infant car seats into your daycare home? I think they are a pain in the butt, to leave in the foyer area of my house. THere are times I have two of them!!!
NOPE. I do NOT allow them on my property at all. If a daycare family has one parent who drops off and another who picks up, getting the car seat from one parent to the other is their problem.

I refuse to assume ANY type of liability. Plus car seats aren't meant to be removed repeatedly.

I don't transport and I don't allow infants to spend ANY time in them while in care, so there is no need for the seat to be on property at all.
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momma2girls 12:34 PM 08-03-2012
I know it is a pain to have the sit in the foyer area all day. Plus the other kids play with them, try to get in them, etc...
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My Lil' Monkeys 12:42 PM 08-03-2012
Originally Posted by momma2girls:
Reading this post- made me think of a good question for everyone-
Do you allow infant car seats into your daycare home? I think they are a pain in the butt, to leave in the foyer area of my house. THere are times I have two of them!!!
Yes, I do. But I do TONS of field trips (with permission slips signed by parents every time) and my daycare parents left me a base. So, they just bring the car seat with the baby everyday and the base is installed in my van.
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momma2girls 12:45 PM 08-03-2012
Originally Posted by momma2girls:
I know it is a pain to have the sit in the foyer area all day. Plus the other kids play with them, try to get in them, etc...
I do not travel at all with any daycare children. So I do not need them here at all.
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Country Kids 12:51 PM 08-03-2012
Originally Posted by Willow:
Communication is a huge part of retaining happy long term families IMHO.

Just talk to her, it's not that big of a deal I'm sure.

"Hey mom, can you bring some non-stained clothes because that's what I prefer? And her carseat could use a good wash, I'll send it home with you and you can bring it back next time you come, thank you!"




Personally I prefer parents bring their kids in grubby clothes as long as they're washed grubby clothes. They get filthy here, I don't like worrying about who's getting paint or marker or mud and chalk on this that or the other. If kids don't leave needing a serious bath at the end of the day we didn't do near enough fun stuff.
Totally me!!!! In fact in my revised handbook I'm going to be adding in bold, capital letters-NO WHITE CLOTHING!!!!!!!
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cheerfuldom 01:58 PM 08-03-2012
I only take one child under 12 months at a time so there is only one infant car seat here at a time. I prefer the parent to leave it so I can have their child strapped in and ready to go at the end of the day. Otherwise they take 20 minutes just to get the kid in the car seat!

But I also dont travel with my other daycare kids so there are no other car seat issues.
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momma2girls 02:01 PM 08-03-2012
Originally Posted by cheerfuldom:
I only take one child under 12 months at a time so there is only one infant car seat here at a time. I prefer the parent to leave it so I can have their child strapped in and ready to go at the end of the day. Otherwise they take 20 minutes just to get the kid in the car seat!

But I also dont travel with my other daycare kids so there are no other car seat issues.
I actually do this also. I have thought about it, and thought, it would be nice not to have this in my small entry way. They have actually chipped my brown paint numerous times, pushing it back, getting their children out, or the daycare kids playing with it.
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Crystal 02:05 PM 08-03-2012
Originally Posted by Willow:
Communication is a huge part of retaining happy long term families IMHO.

Just talk to her, it's not that big of a deal I'm sure.

"Hey mom, can you bring some non-stained clothes because that's what I prefer? And her carseat could use a good wash, I'll send it home with you and you can bring it back next time you come, thank you!"



Personally I prefer parents bring their kids in grubby clothes as long as they're washed grubby clothes. They get filthy here, I don't like worrying about who's getting paint or marker or mud and chalk on this that or the other. If kids don't leave needing a serious bath at the end of the day we didn't do near enough fun stuff.
I completely agree about preferring they come in clothes that are not their sunday best, as they get VERY dirty here, but I think their is a HUUUUUGE difference between clothing stained from playing and clothing stained from feces. I can almost guarantee the parent does not dress her child that way when SHE takes her places.

I would be LIVID that the parent shrugged me off the way she has with the OP. I would , very matter-of-factly, tell the parent that under no circumstances is she to bring her child in feces stained clothing again, and that if she does, she will be turned away at the door. I would tell her to either completely wash AND sterilize the car seat or buy a new one that she can leave at care.....THAT is disgusting AND can cause illnesses that I don't even want to imagine.

Thinking about it more, I'd border on calling CPS. This is neglect, plain and simple. If Mom isn't embarrassed enough to clean the car seat, I can imagine what the inside of her home looks like. (insert barfing emoticon here)
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spud912 02:15 PM 08-03-2012
Maybe it's the infant seat I have, but I thought it was pretty easy to wash. You unstrap it, throw it in the washer (I would do it alone with bleach), and then air dry it. I also spray off the plastic portion as well with sanitizer spray and wipe it down.

I'm sure what happened is that the baby had a blow out in the car and the mom was too busy (aka lazy) to wash it properly . I would wash it this one time and make a point of it to mom: "Hey dcm, I washed the car seat since there was old feces throughout the cloth part. In the future, it's fairly easy to properly wash it and I can give you some pointers if need be."

As far as poop stained clothes, it's kind of yucky to look at, but not unsanitary if it was washed properly. I guess those stains never bothered me too much (but I personally would never use those clothes outside of the house). My older dd used to have explosive bm's almost everyday, regardless of the size or type of diaper. She just had a lot of feces to get out . Anyway, she managed to one by one ruin almost every outfit she had because her feces was really good at staining her clothes, despite using lots of stain remover. I used to still use the mildly clothing at home when we weren't going anywhere.
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sharlan 02:50 PM 08-03-2012
Originally Posted by spud912:
Maybe it's the infant seat I have, but I thought it was pretty easy to wash. You unstrap it, throw it in the washer (I would do it alone with bleach), and then air dry it. I also spray off the plastic portion as well with sanitizer spray and wipe it down.

I'm sure what happened is that the baby had a blow out in the car and the mom was too busy (aka lazy) to wash it properly . I would wash it this one time and make a point of it to mom: "Hey dcm, I washed the car seat since there was old feces throughout the cloth part. In the future, it's fairly easy to properly wash it and I can give you some pointers if need be."

As far as poop stained clothes, it's kind of yucky to look at, but not unsanitary if it was washed properly. I guess those stains never bothered me too much (but I personally would never use those clothes outside of the house). My older dd used to have explosive bm's almost everyday, regardless of the size or type of diaper. She just had a lot of feces to get out . Anyway, she managed to one by one ruin almost every outfit she had because her feces was really good at staining her clothes, despite using lots of stain remover. I used to still use the mildly clothing at home when we weren't going anywhere.
My little one came in the other day and she had turned her bottle upside down. Both her shorts and her infant seat were soaked. Not an issue for me. I changed her clothes and put the carseat cover into the washer with a load of towels. I wiped the seat down with Clorox wipes and put it back together before Mom picked up.

As for the stained clothes, I would have them keep an outfit or two at your house to change the baby into before you go out. Just change the baby back into whatever Mom sent her in in the morning.
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EntropyControlSpecialist 04:42 PM 08-03-2012
If the children come dirty, I change them into their change of clothing.

In fact, today I had a child wear the same outfit that they had worn yesterday. It was covered in food and unwashed. I simply changed that child as soon as the parent left. Parent came to pick the child up and said, "Oh! Did we have a blow out?" I said, "No, we were just really dirty!"
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