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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Breaks My Heart Every Time.....
Unregistered 08:34 AM 12-04-2017
I have a 4 year old who has two school age siblings (6 and 8). I had his siblings in care as well until they went to Kindergarten. Every time there is a day off of school, mom takes the day off to stay home with the older two children and sends the 4 year old to my daycare. This past Friday and today are non school days.
I do give my full time families 5 vacation days to use throughout the year. So in instances like this, they could keep him home to spend the day with his family and not have to pay me for the day. They choose instead to pay me and send him every time! I just don't and won't ever understand this choice. 🙁 On some of the non school days, he is the only one here (They know this ahead of time), so he is spending the day with me and my kids instead of at home with his family. I have mostly families with parents who work for the school district, so this is the case more often than not.
An ironic part of this situation is that this family is always asking me about discounts (wanting to save money). I do give discounts for children who go to preschool outside of my daycare, but other than that have never discounted for other situations. So when they have an opportunity to save money by keeping him home with them for a day and don't do it, that just blows me away.
This child is also a big attention seeker and can be quite the handful to deal with. I have to believe that these behaviors directly stem from not spending a lot of time with his family.
This morning at drop off, mom said he was sad because he didn't want to leave his house. I bit my tongue, but was thinking, of course he didn't want to leave his siblings and mom to come here. He wants to be with his family! 😢 How do parents not see this and how it affects their children?!
I do give my full time families 5 vacation days to use throughout the year. So in instances like this, they could keep him home to spend the day with his family and not have to pay me for the day. They choose instead to pay me and send him every time! I just don't and won't ever understand this choice. 🙁 On some of the non school days, he is the only one here (They know this ahead of time), so he is spending the day with me and my kids instead of at home with his family. I have mostly families with parents who work for the school district, so this is the case more often than not.
An ironic part of this situation is that this family is always asking me about discounts (wanting to save money). I do give discounts for children who go to preschool outside of my daycare, but other than that have never discounted for other situations. So when they have an opportunity to save money by keeping him home with them for a day and don't do it, that just blows me away.
This child is also a big attention seeker and can be quite the handful to deal with. I have to believe that these behaviors directly stem from not spending a lot of time with his family.
This morning at drop off, mom said he was sad because he didn't want to leave his house. I bit my tongue, but was thinking, of course he didn't want to leave his siblings and mom to come here. He wants to be with his family! 😢 How do parents not see this and how it affects their children?!
Blackcat31 08:40 AM 12-04-2017
Sadly many parents can't manage all of their children at home at one time. I'd say that is probably the case with 4, 6 and 8 year olds.....especially if the 4 yr old is a handful.
If this bothers you, stop participating. I know you said you don't charge for staying home and the parent can easily save money by not attending, why not just tell the parent that the 4 yr old can not attend on no-school days?
There are several providers in my community that provide care for teachers or those that work in the school district and they state right in their policies that care is not available on no school days or days the provider knows the parent does not have to work.
If this bothers you, stop participating. I know you said you don't charge for staying home and the parent can easily save money by not attending, why not just tell the parent that the 4 yr old can not attend on no-school days?
There are several providers in my community that provide care for teachers or those that work in the school district and they state right in their policies that care is not available on no school days or days the provider knows the parent does not have to work.
Cat Herder 08:40 AM 12-04-2017
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
This child is also a big attention seeker and can be quite the handful to deal with.
He wants to be with his family! �� How do parents not see this and how it affects their children?!
They do see it. They simply confuse cause and effect. This child is also a big attention seeker and can be quite the handful to deal with.
He wants to be with his family! �� How do parents not see this and how it affects their children?!
Also, the evenings with the older kids is probably more about homework, book bag checks and vocabulary words. They may need some personal time that this provides.
storybookending 08:57 AM 12-04-2017
I’ve seen this as a common theme on here.
I used to babysit for a family that had an “accidental” pregnancy. Their other two children were 9 and 12 (ish) when this child was born. Mom refused to admit even to herself that she was pregnant for the first 7 months. I mean this lady is a doctor and so is her husband, she knew it but just refused to admit it to ANYONE. I had this child 3-4 nights (not overnights) a week the first 1-1.5 years of her life because it was just “too hard” for them to work a baby into their routine. They also had a nanny and child attended daycare during the days. She’s almost 2.5 now it’s it’s very rare that I’ll get a call to watch her. The mom told me her husband sat her down and told her she needed to do a better job of including the youngest now that she’s getting older.
I used to babysit for a family that had an “accidental” pregnancy. Their other two children were 9 and 12 (ish) when this child was born. Mom refused to admit even to herself that she was pregnant for the first 7 months. I mean this lady is a doctor and so is her husband, she knew it but just refused to admit it to ANYONE. I had this child 3-4 nights (not overnights) a week the first 1-1.5 years of her life because it was just “too hard” for them to work a baby into their routine. They also had a nanny and child attended daycare during the days. She’s almost 2.5 now it’s it’s very rare that I’ll get a call to watch her. The mom told me her husband sat her down and told her she needed to do a better job of including the youngest now that she’s getting older.
amberrose3dg 09:12 AM 12-04-2017
Same thing here. Parents are so "overwhelmed" they send their kids when they are off work. Next thing you know, they will be grown. Enjoy that time.
Cat Herder 09:13 AM 12-04-2017
Originally Posted by amberrose3dg:
Same thing here. Parents are so "overwhelmed" they send their kids when they are off work. Next thing you know, they will be grown. Enjoy that time.
940 Saturdays. Same thing here. Parents are so "overwhelmed" they send their kids when they are off work. Next thing you know, they will be grown. Enjoy that time.
That is all you get if you are one of the lucky ones.
daycarediva 09:35 AM 12-04-2017
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
Sadly many parents can't manage all of their children at home at one time. I'd say that is probably the case with 4, 6 and 8 year olds.....especially if the 4 yr old is a handful.
If this bothers you, stop participating. I know you said you don't charge for staying home and the parent can easily save money by not attending, why not just tell the parent that the 4 yr old can not attend on no-school days?
There are several providers in my community that provide care for teachers or those that work in the school district and they state right in their policies that care is not available on no school days or days the provider knows the parent does not have to work.
Sadly many parents can't manage all of their children at home at one time. I'd say that is probably the case with 4, 6 and 8 year olds.....especially if the 4 yr old is a handful.
If this bothers you, stop participating. I know you said you don't charge for staying home and the parent can easily save money by not attending, why not just tell the parent that the 4 yr old can not attend on no-school days?
There are several providers in my community that provide care for teachers or those that work in the school district and they state right in their policies that care is not available on no school days or days the provider knows the parent does not have to work.
Originally Posted by Cat Herder:
940 Saturdays.
That is all you get if you are one of the lucky ones.
YES! 940 Saturdays.
That is all you get if you are one of the lucky ones.
I remember when my kids were young, being in the 'thick of it', the hardest, most demanding parenting years, the least amount of sleep, and then special needs on top of it.
I never sent my kids to daycare if I was off. They NEVER had a babysitter that wasn't grandma, and that was a rare occurance.
midaycare 11:33 AM 12-04-2017
Preaching to the choir over here. Every parent I have drops the kiddos off on there vacation days. Even if older siblings are at home. Most of it is they can't handle all the kids. By the time Monday comes around, after a weekend without my help, most parents are waiting at my door before opening time 
But yeah...I remember having DS in daycare. I would be so excited to get off 30 minutes early, and I would race over to see him. If I was ever even 5 minutes late, I darn near had panic attacks.
But yeah...I remember having DS in daycare. I would be so excited to get off 30 minutes early, and I would race over to see him. If I was ever even 5 minutes late, I darn near had panic attacks.
Lil_Diddle 11:47 AM 12-04-2017
I have the same exact DCG here. It's heartbreaking. Mom always says "I need to give the older child some one on one time" but sadly the younger never gets that one on one time. And it breaks my heart when mom says she is taking the older girl to do something fun, because the younger child is at an age where she can participate.
Blackcat31 12:58 PM 12-04-2017
I have 12 DCK's.
Right now I have:
Basically, leaving one or all your kids at daycare when not really necessary is very common now days and the only people that "see" anything wrong, upsetting or heartbreaking about it are child care provider's.
Right now I have:
- a sibling set scheduled to be here everyday this week. BOTH parents are on vacation and home together.
- a 2.5 yr old here 8-5 every day. Single parent. Works 2-3 days a week until 2:30.
- a sibling set that attend 2X per week. One parent is a stay at home parent and doesn't work.
- a 15 month old that attends 5 days a week until 5PM. Parent works night shift but let's the other parent pick up so they don't have to get dressed and make the the whole 6 block trip over here.
Basically, leaving one or all your kids at daycare when not really necessary is very common now days and the only people that "see" anything wrong, upsetting or heartbreaking about it are child care provider's.
Mom2Two 01:39 PM 12-04-2017
What do they do during Summer and long school breaks? If your contract is full-time, I don't know how you would word it to cover this situation. Like: "Care is for school days only with care during school breaks subject to approval." ??? It sounds weird to try to put it in words. I can't think how to word it in a way that doesn't seem weird and intrusive.
Two of my dck (twins) have always been here during at least part of school breaks, even when mom was a sahm. They have two older, teen children, and mom always said that she wanted to give the teens some one-on-one.
I used to wish that they would work it out and include the little ones (they started at 2 years and are now in K). But over the years, I've gotten to know that they have truly had some struggles with the teens, and the parents have been doing the best they can.
But the kids haven't been too difficult to watch and the parents have been really great in every way so I don't feel bad about it.
I do have some families that I am more willing to say "yes" to when they ask for extra care, but that's part-time families who are asking for extra care, not disagreeing with how they use their days off.
Two of my dck (twins) have always been here during at least part of school breaks, even when mom was a sahm. They have two older, teen children, and mom always said that she wanted to give the teens some one-on-one.
I used to wish that they would work it out and include the little ones (they started at 2 years and are now in K). But over the years, I've gotten to know that they have truly had some struggles with the teens, and the parents have been doing the best they can.
But the kids haven't been too difficult to watch and the parents have been really great in every way so I don't feel bad about it.
I do have some families that I am more willing to say "yes" to when they ask for extra care, but that's part-time families who are asking for extra care, not disagreeing with how they use their days off.
Unregistered 01:46 PM 12-04-2017
The mom has also "joked" and told me DCD tells her "you wanted a third child and now we never take him anywhere". She has also commented on the fact that when he is looking through pictures when he is older, he will wonder why he isn't in them. (Pictures of vacations, etc) This is sadly true as they have gone on vacations, done special family outings, and other everyday things that he is not included in because "he is too young". He is always left to spend his time split between me, grandparents, aunts and uncles and family friends while they do these things with their older children.
amberrose3dg 04:07 AM 12-05-2017
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
The mom has also "joked" and told me DCD tells her "you wanted a third child and now we never take him anywhere". She has also commented on the fact that when he is looking through pictures when he is older, he will wonder why he isn't in them. (Pictures of vacations, etc) This is sadly true as they have gone on vacations, done special family outings, and other everyday things that he is not included in because "he is too young". He is always left to spend his time split between me, grandparents, aunts and uncles and family friends while they do these things with their older children.
I would of tried hard not to roll my eyes at her.The mom has also "joked" and told me DCD tells her "you wanted a third child and now we never take him anywhere". She has also commented on the fact that when he is looking through pictures when he is older, he will wonder why he isn't in them. (Pictures of vacations, etc) This is sadly true as they have gone on vacations, done special family outings, and other everyday things that he is not included in because "he is too young". He is always left to spend his time split between me, grandparents, aunts and uncles and family friends while they do these things with their older children.
My kids are 2 and 6. I take both of them on EVERY vacation or place we visit. My two year old is with me in the daycare everyday. I have a hard time understanding parents that can't deal with their children. I have my own plus 11 of other people's children.I can tell you from experience those kids will grow up and resent their parents. My mom was hardly around "working" when we were kids. My sister barely talks to my mom as an adult and has little to do with her.I don't understand why have more kids if you cant handle them?
