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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>You Won't Believe What This DCM Did To Her Baby!
KatieG 08:58 AM 05-21-2014
Ok, so at drop-off this morning, one of my dcm's put her 7mo boy on the floor. He isn't "officially" crawling yet, just lunging & army crawling. So anyway, he got up onto his hands & knees and started rocking, then moved one arm...you all know what comes next! But it's what dcm did that shocked me - she put her foot (with her shoes on) onto her baby's back & pushed him down, saying "No, don't crawl yet! Stay my sweet baby forever!"

Besides the obvious issues with this, I also watch her almost 3yo girl (only for 2 more weeks, she starts at a center next month when she turns 3). This girl has been super aggressive with the other baby that is in my care, and now I think I know why!
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Blackcat31 09:10 AM 05-21-2014
I have no words...

...but you can bet I am dizzy from rolling my eyes...
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LadyK8 09:14 AM 05-21-2014
I literally gasped out loud. Literally.
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ihop 09:16 AM 05-21-2014
(picks jaw up off floor) oh my God!

That is totally absurd. IM sorry you even had to experience that. That poor baby, being pushed down after doing something so great!
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MotherNature 09:21 AM 05-21-2014
wow! Did you say anything to her? She apparently doesn't see how that looks abusive from the outside. She probably thought she was making a joke. Pretty awful though.
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renodeb 09:21 AM 05-21-2014

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drseuss 09:22 AM 05-21-2014
Have you ever seen or heard any other behaviors that might be indicative of abuse?

I once termed a family whose little girl did that to a baby in my care.
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llpa 09:51 AM 05-21-2014
After I did this then I did this every time I think I have have heard it all re dcp then something even more horrid comes up. This is child abuse to me.
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SSWonders 09:53 AM 05-21-2014


Unbelievable.
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countrymom 09:56 AM 05-21-2014
omg what the bleep!
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Shell 10:09 AM 05-21-2014
That is horrible!!! Wonder what other things she does that you haven't seen. I'm debating whether I think you should report her...
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playground1 10:28 AM 05-21-2014
Maybe you should tell her that what she did isn't appropriate and why?
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craftymissbeth 10:29 AM 05-21-2014
I had a parent joke about doing that once, but she was clearly joking about how sad it was to see her baby becoming more independent. She actually told ME to kick him over if he starts crawling. But again, it was clearly a joke. I never once felt like she was serious or would ever do it.

If this dcm felt comfortable enough to do that in front of a mandated reporter I can't imagine what happens when no ones looking
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tehck_1013 10:29 AM 05-21-2014
WHAT!? Who does that! If she thought this was acceptable to do in front of people just imagine the careless and abusive things she does in her own home... omg.


Just......no.

Did you say anything to her?
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KatieG 10:41 AM 05-21-2014
The baby wasn't injured in any way - dcm thought she was being cute by pushing him down. I was in shock, so all I really said was "stop doing that"! I'm more concerned with her daughter modelling mom's behavior, but not knowing when she's being too rough. I have observed this little girl trying to step on the other baby in my care, but didn't know why she was doing it until today.
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EntropyControlSpecialist 11:41 AM 05-21-2014
OMG. I would have been tempted to sucker punch her in the throat. That made me sick to my stomach to read.
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My3cents 11:52 AM 05-21-2014
Originally Posted by KatieG:
The baby wasn't injured in any way - dcm thought she was being cute by pushing him down. I was in shock, so all I really said was "stop doing that"! I'm more concerned with her daughter modelling mom's behavior, but not knowing when she's being too rough. I have observed this little girl trying to step on the other baby in my care, but didn't know why she was doing it until today.
you need to talk to this parent and I would tell her if she ever did anything like that again in front of you that you would report it. Your a mandated reporter. Not funny!
Sad-
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Sunchimes 12:00 PM 05-21-2014
I have 2 dcks with delays. I wish this mom knew how hard their teams worked and how hard we prayed for these kids to crawl. She ought to be cheering and rejoicing that her baby reached this milestone on time. Too bad she doesn't understand how vital crawling is to a child's overall development, not just as a step to walking. This makes me so angry.
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KatieG 12:14 PM 05-21-2014
Originally Posted by Sunchimes:
I have 2 dcks with delays. I wish this mom knew how hard their teams worked and how hard we prayed for these kids to crawl. She ought to be cheering and rejoicing that her baby reached this milestone on time. Too bad she doesn't understand how vital crawling is to a child's overall development, not just as a step to walking. This makes me so angry.
Unfortunately, she seems more concerned with her needs than her children's. This same mom went back to work at 4 1/2 weeks, but took the baby to work with her until he was 3 1/2 months old. She works at our church, so they allowed this. And no, she wasn't nursing. She just wanted to snuggle with him throughout the day. So by the time I got him, he was used to being held ALL DAY LONG and couldn't sleep on his own for about 2 months. In fact, he was inconsolable most of the day. He also to this day will not finish a bottle in one sitting - he's a "sipper" because Mommy would just let him drink just enough to hold him over long enough for her to finish whatever she was working on at work, and when he fussed again in a few minutes (because he's still hungry, duh!), she'd let him sip a little more.

She didn't behave this way with her daughter at all. She & her hubby have decided this is their last baby, so she's clinging. She doesn't realize the long-term effects this will have on the baby.
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TwinKristi 12:18 PM 05-21-2014
Originally Posted by My3cents:
you need to talk to this parent and I would tell her if she ever did anything like that again in front of you that you would report it. Your a mandated reporter. Not funny!
Sad-
I agree. I know it will be a very uncomfortable conversation but it needs to be done. She may think it's all funny and cute to do that, but maybe if you let her know DCG has been doing it as well as other aggressive behaviors she will realize, while funny to her, she's setting an example for DCG and can't do that anymore. Also, while you understand she's kidding and you've never suspected abuse, some other mandated reporters may see that as a reason to report her. Clarify that you're not reporting her because you KNOW she's just kidding around.

I know a mom who claims she would push her daughter down whens she'd try to walk because she didn't want her to start walking until after their big camping trip. Once they got back she didn't discourage her anymore. She's one of those loud "I don't give a bleep" sassy sounding women. I know she's trying to be funny and I don't think she was doing this in an abusive way, but more of a sassy, young mom way.
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KatieG 12:42 PM 05-21-2014
Originally Posted by TwinKristi:
I agree. I know it will be a very uncomfortable conversation but it needs to be done. She may think it's all funny and cute to do that, but maybe if you let her know DCG has been doing it as well as other aggressive behaviors she will realize, while funny to her, she's setting an example for DCG and can't do that anymore. Also, while you understand she's kidding and you've never suspected abuse, some other mandated reporters may see that as a reason to report her. Clarify that you're not reporting her because you KNOW she's just kidding around.

I know a mom who claims she would push her daughter down whens she'd try to walk because she didn't want her to start walking until after their big camping trip. Once they got back she didn't discourage her anymore. She's one of those loud "I don't give a bleep" sassy sounding women. I know she's trying to be funny and I don't think she was doing this in an abusive way, but more of a sassy, young mom way.
I will be having a chat with her today at pickup - while she knows that she's joking and doesn't intend any harm to her baby, her daughter is too young to know the difference. And even though her daughter won't be in my care beginning June 2, I will still have the baby. Plus, the other 2 dck's that I watch (2yo boy and 8mo girl siblings) are from a family that is best friends with these parents. So the kids have lots of contact with each other, even outside my house. This behavior can't go on.
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Starburst 08:37 PM 05-21-2014
Did you report it, or at least document it? She might think it's funny, but she went too far when she stepped on his back.
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KatieG 03:37 PM 05-22-2014
Originally Posted by Starburst:
Did you report it, or at least document it? She might think it's funny, but she went too far when she stepped on his back.
I didn't report it, but I did document. And I did have a serious talk with her at pickup - she seemed to get it. I'll be keeping a close eye on this one!
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