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  #1  
Old 03-16-2018, 11:21 AM
TheMisplacedMidwestMom's Avatar
TheMisplacedMidwestMom TheMisplacedMidwestMom is offline
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Default The Mine-o-Saur

At point do you consider the "mine" phase not typical? I have dcb right now who will be 3 in June. He is territorial to the max and will fly across the room screaming about any objects he's deemed his. If I hand him anything, you can forget it about, it becomes his forever. He just spends so much of his day guarding things. Yesterday the object was invisible. Last week he guarded some snow (we have 3 feet of it). I know to some extent its age appropriate. I've been attempting to redirect and ride it out, but the screeching and constant vigilance is driving me over the edge. He's been here a little over a year now, and its always been this way to some extent.

There are times where he plays just fine with other kids, but will drop what he's doing and fly over if someone gets close to something that is "his". Rarely does he hit, but he will go for the toy with no hesitation... and while doing that awful screech!

Currently he's playing nicely with ds3. But he did not engage until he first hid a bunch of puzzle pieces because the 10 month old was showing interest in them.
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Old 03-16-2018, 12:02 PM
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racemom racemom is online now
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I always reply nope, it's the daycares, and miss director is nice enough to let us play with them. If we cannot share and be nice to them I will have to give them to miss director to share with another room and we won't have those blocks anymore.

Now the snow, I cannot help with as I can't control when it is there or not. Do you think it is a control issue with him? Maybe he sees this as a way to control his environment, in which case he might need to be a leader of something.
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Old 03-16-2018, 12:16 PM
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What's your sharing policy?

Only child?

What's your space like? Is there any where he CAN put special items, or things he isn't done with yet?

I have a dck in care who was booted from a center. She's amazing for me. Same issue (aside from others) What I do- NO forced sharing. He can keep it as long as she wants, and we say "When you're done, can X have a turn?" and help facilitate that when the child puts the toy down. we sing- "YOU CAN TAKE A TURN, AND THEN I'LL GET IT BACK!"

They each have their own bins, they can place toys in there they want to save for later.


How verbal is he? we make name lists for turn taking of popular items.
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Old 03-16-2018, 03:25 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by racemom View Post
I always reply nope, it's the daycares, and miss director is nice enough to let us play with them. If we cannot share and be nice to them I will have to give them to miss director to share with another room and we won't have those blocks anymore.
I've been trying this and he just moves his fixation to the next thing.

Now the snow, I cannot help with as I can't control when it is there or not. Do you think it is a control issue with him? Maybe he sees this as a way to control his environment, in which case he might need to be a leader of something.
Control could definitely play a factor. If he's redirected by or another child tells him no about something he always flips around that it his was choice. "Well I don't want to play with you anymore" even if it was me having him to a new activity or another child trying to get away from him.


Quote:
Originally Posted by daycarediva View Post
What's your sharing policy? Play until you're done with it. If you've left it and moved on to something else someone else can play with it.

Only child? Oh yeah.

What's your space like? Pretty open with different areas (not actual centers). I have a small group of 5 kids including my own, so the space is pretty flexible depending on what they're interested in at the moment. There are a couple spaces that they can "retreat" to. Is there any where he CAN put special items, or things he isn't done with yet?
He does not, this is not something I have tried.

I have a dck in care who was booted from a center. She's amazing for me. Same issue (aside from others) What I do- NO forced sharing. He can keep it as long as she wants, and we say "When you're done, can X have a turn?" and help facilitate that when the child puts the toy down. we sing- "YOU CAN TAKE A TURN, AND THEN I'LL GET IT BACK!" We don't force share either. And handle turns pretty much the same way, only I don't have a fun song.

They each have their own bins, they can place toys in there they want to save for later.
This I am going to have to try. I actually have a shelf that would work great for this.


How verbal is he? we make name lists for turn taking of popular items.
He is very verbal. We've been working on using words instead of screeching, he definitely has the ability.
I responded above in red. Thanks y'all! I'm going to work on bins for each kid this weekend.
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Old 03-16-2018, 03:36 PM
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We had a workshop presenter put sharing into perspective for us. He asked for one of the attendees' keys to their new truck. After she expressed surprise and started asking questions like why, what are you going to do, etc., he showed us how we could relate that to a dck being asked to share something with another child.

If dcks start calling our stuff theirs and not letting anybody play with any of it, I will remind them, as a PP did, that it's not theirs, it's mine and I'm choosing to share with everyone. I try to have multiples of most things like cars, Little People, dinosaurs, so that everyone has some. If a dck wants a doll another dck has, I'll point out that there are still 4 other dolls. 'But I want that one!' Uh, no, dcg has it. I don't make dcks share unless I only have 1 of something, then we'll use a timer.
As for ages, my 3.5 yos are still very much like that. I also have a 4.5 yo that will try to claim back something she might have been paying with 10 minutes ago but left.
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Old 04-10-2018, 12:04 PM
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So I got all the kids their own bin (with their picture on them), and assigned a cube in our cube shelf. My mine-o-saur does not get it, except for now he has something to really guard. The concept just doesn't seem to register.

He's been here less than an hour today and so far:
-The 18 month old was playing on the couch when he decided it was "his". He did not want to sit on it, just wanted her not to.
-He was reading books when the 3 yr old started playing trucks. Dropped the books and gathered as many trucks as he could and began guarding them.
-I got out play dough. Everyone sat down at the table and I gave them each a color. As the other kids started playing he huddled over his play dough and glared at anyone who dared look at it. Eventually he relaxed and played for a bit...
-Then one kid was done and headed back to the playroom. Mine-o-saur quickly put away his dough and rushed out the to the playroom to gather any toys he didn't want them to play with.

55 minutes, he's been here 55 minutes.
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Old 04-10-2018, 02:09 PM
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This seems over the top extreme for me. I’d give it two weeks of consistently trying your new bin thing.....to see if he relaxes a bit. If he doesn’t, I’d talk to parents about an evaluation.
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