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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>2 Year Old Girl Cries All Day... Almost
has_my_heart 09:45 PM 10-08-2014
I recently took on a 2 year old girl half-days two days a week, she is a child of a friend/acquaintance. She really is a cutie but she is seriously struggling in the daycare setting and it has been over a month now. I kept thinking she would warm up and adjust to the changes but she cries loudly most of the time she is here (5 hours). She gets pretty inconsolable. Unless, I sit down and hold her in my lap or she is napping she is either crying or on the verge. It totally changes the dynamics of the day (at least while she is here). I really do feel like it upsets some of the other littles and honestly it stresses me out. I talked to her parents about it and asked them what they do at home when she gets upset so that I could try and keep her routine as consistent as possible. I've tried their suggestions. Sometimes dcg asks to go to bed and I typically comply because it calms her down but I also wonder if that throws her routine off more. What would you do? Do you think she needs more time to adjust?
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Unregistered 05:19 AM 10-09-2014
I have her twin sister she is part time three days a week. Has been here for almost two months with no improvement. I don't know what to do with her anymore. I wish I had advice for you.
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EntropyControlSpecialist 05:48 AM 10-09-2014
All 2-day part timers I have EVER had pretty much never adjust. They simply grow older and cope better (usually around 3.5).

To be honest, I think having your (any DCP) child enrolled in group care 2 days per week is extremely cruel. It is so hard on a child to be somewhere else 5 days per week and then in an environment where there are MANY needs and not many caretakers 2 days per week. All 3-day part timers have done a smidge better. Still hard for them but at least being here MWF was a little less difficult for them as it was 3 days here and 4 days elsewhere (home, usually). I would ask if they could try MWF with you to see if it improves it at all. Otherwise, you may be in for a long year.
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CraftyMom 06:16 AM 10-09-2014
Originally Posted by EntropyControlSpecialist:
All 2-day part timers I have EVER had pretty much never adjust. They simply grow older and cope better (usually around 3.5).

To be honest, I think having your (any DCP) child enrolled in group care 2 days per week is extremely cruel. It is so hard on a child to be somewhere else 5 days per week and then in an environment where there are MANY needs and not many caretakers 2 days per week. All 3-day part timers have done a smidge better. Still hard for them but at least being here MWF was a little less difficult for them as it was 3 days here and 4 days elsewhere (home, usually). I would ask if they could try MWF with you to see if it improves it at all. Otherwise, you may be in for a long year.
This has ben my experience as well. The 2 day/week kids seem to never adjust well and are always on the verge of tears. I have one right now that is 2.5 and wimpers most of the day. He apparently likes it here and gets excited to come, but really hasn't adjusted after a month. Nothing major that I would term over and the parents are aware. He started bringing his own blanky and pillow for nap and that has helped a bit. Maybe your dcg has something special she could bring for nap so she has that to look forward to?
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cheerfuldom 06:27 AM 10-09-2014
same here. i dont take 2 day a week kid. centers are a better fit for them because they have multiple staff to handle these criers but it is just me here. I would tell the parents this is no longer working. Either they up her hours for more consistency (on a trial basis) or they take her to a bigger center with more staff OR a babysitter/nanny situation where there is one-on-one attention. two mornings a week and i would expect her to cry for at least 6 months, maybe a year before she gets old enough to be able to handle the random days.
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TheGoodLife 06:35 AM 10-09-2014
I agree with PPs, and seeing that she is only there for half days twice a week, it is going to make it even harder for her (and everyone else) unfortunately. No advice there, unless you want to discuss lengthening her time with you for her benefit or consider terming for everyone's sake, but I wanted to wish you luck. I hope she is able to adjust soon and can enjoy her daycare experience!
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preschoolteacher 06:47 AM 10-09-2014
I agree. I had several two year olds sharing one FT spot last winter, so I had five kids who each came 1 day/week. One was by far the coolest kid I've ever had, but she was used to daycare FT and I was filling in for a day they couldn't get coverage for. The second kid adjusted fine from the beginning. The third never followed rules and became aggressive. the last two cried SO much. It got better after 6 months, but barely, and by then I filled the spots they were sharing with a full time kid.

I found, for the crying kids, it was too much work on my part. While they were here they demanded so much of me since they never participated and we're often crying. When they were gone I was spending too much time talking to their moms about how to make things better for them when the only real solution would have been to send them more frequently.
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Unregistered 08:38 AM 10-14-2014
I take a lot of part timers. You said you have done a few of their suggestions.... what have you tried so far? Do you want suggestions on what to do to help her transition better, because that will take a lot of effort on your part and its okay if you would rather term but I have found that with a ton of effort on your part, you can help the child adjust.
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Play Care 09:19 AM 10-14-2014
I find that most of my kiddos are weaned in by week 2 - I have a 3 yo boy who just started here one day a week - he's been great. Two months is too long, IME to have a child still crying through the day - even if they are only there two days a week. Is mom aware that the child is crying most of the day? How are the other children coping with that?
Personally I would NOT be holding her. I would set up a cozy spot away from the group but where I could still see her. "When you are ready to be fun and cheerful, come join us!" And then engage the other kids in the usual fun activities. If she is still consistently crying through the day/not participating I would term. That type of environment is way too stressful for everyone!
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Unregistered 08:39 AM 10-15-2014
I respectively disagree with most of the above posters. I would not hold the child all day, but I would do everything in my power to help the child feel secure. You don't build a secure attachment by separating yourself from the child, or secluding her. In my experience it helps more to make the child feel safe. It is a new place with new kids, etc.... I hold the child more, sit with them while they play, I even take them with me when I am getting lunch ready. Over time, they realize I am not leaving them, I am going to be a safe person and my house is a safe place.
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