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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Does Anyone Else Get Tired Of The Excuses?
taylorw1210 09:37 AM 10-07-2014
Yesterday I had to send a little girl home with a fever of 100.3, with green nasal discharge. Gramma picks her up and says, "She MUST be teething!".

Today I had to send home a little boy for vomiting and a fever of 100.4. Mom says, "Sometimes he throws up when he gets over excited." When I address the fever she says, "His Dr. says he just runs hot."



Why is it never because the kid is actually sick?
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daycarediva 10:03 AM 10-07-2014
It is probably my #1 pet peeve.

I sent home a dcg yesterday when Mom said "She spit up..." as she's trying to baby wipe vomit off of dcg's shirt. She's 2! That's not spit up. She's never been car sick in the 2 minute drive on the way over before, no no, she needs to STAY HOME until she's vomit free for 24 hours. See you THURSDAY. It SMELLED like vomit, too. *gag*
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TickleMonster 10:12 AM 10-07-2014
Yep Ive heard all the excuses. Their teething, its allergies, I had the heater on in the car so thats why his fever must be 101.2, blah blah blah. Nobody can believe that their little one might actually be sick!
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EntropyControlSpecialist 10:22 AM 10-07-2014
I just repeat ad nauseum, "We exclude for symptoms. I will see DCK in 48 hours." if I have to send home.

The other day a child had diarrhea because stressful situations make his stomach anxious?????? Sometimes, all I can do is blink and stare for a good minute or two.

I have a lot of boogery kids here and I know they have colds. I don't exclude for colds, only if their snot cannot be contained and is getting on everything. But, apparently they all have "allergies." So weird. I just text now and ask how long they have had X and Y symptoms for, get a lame excuse text reply, and then let the parent know that I will be contacting them if Z happens to which they NEVER reply back now. Sometimes, I just want to term people because their lies bug me.
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Blackcat31 10:32 AM 10-07-2014
My ears do not hear excuses.

Parent: "She MUST be teething!"

Me: "Well whatever it is, I'm excluding for the fever part so I'll see you 24 hours after he/she is fever free"

Parent: "Sometimes he throws up when he gets over excited."

Me: "Wow, that's a bummer because I exclude for throwing up no matter what the reason. Sure hope you have a good back up plan because it gets pretty exciting here during the day!"

Just bring the conversation back around to WHY you are excluding. If the parent continues to give excuses, just say "I am not a doctor so I don't diagnose, I only exclude when required." and smile FIRMLY but friendly.
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daycarediva 10:33 AM 10-07-2014
Originally Posted by EntropyControlSpecialist:
I just repeat ad nauseum, "We exclude for symptoms. I will see DCK in 48 hours." if I have to send home.

The other day a child had diarrhea because stressful situations make his stomach anxious?????? Sometimes, all I can do is blink and stare for a good minute or two.

I have a lot of boogery kids here and I know they have colds. I don't exclude for colds, only if their snot cannot be contained and is getting on everything. But, apparently they all have "allergies." So weird. I just text now and ask how long they have had X and Y symptoms for, get a lame excuse text reply, and then let the parent know that I will be contacting them if Z happens to which they NEVER reply back now. Sometimes, I just want to term people because their lies bug me.
No lie (haha) this happens to my son and dh. They get horrible cramps and diarrhea when nervous. Dh was LATE to our wedding because he couldn't get off the toilet and ds had an accident on his way to his first ever alone birthday party (at 8 years old!).

Normal everyday routines? Never.
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EntropyControlSpecialist 10:56 AM 10-07-2014
Originally Posted by daycarediva:
No lie (haha) this happens to my son and dh. They get horrible cramps and diarrhea when nervous. Dh was LATE to our wedding because he couldn't get off the toilet and ds had an accident on his way to his first ever alone birthday party (at 8 years old!).

Normal everyday routines? Never.
First time this was ever mentioned to me by this parent and kid had been in several "stressful situations" before and never had diarrhea.
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taylorw1210 11:16 AM 10-07-2014
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
Just bring the conversation back around to WHY you are excluding. If the parent continues to give excuses, just say "I am not a doctor so I don't diagnose, I only exclude when required." and smile FIRMLY but friendly.
I have finally learned to do this. It's taken me some time, but I can do it now. And I still get the ridiculous excuses and the parents seem to always try to get that jab in the next time they drop off. "Oh, Suzie didn't have a fever when we got home." or "Johnny acted just fine when we got home, he must have been faking it!" I am with your kids 50+ hours a week - I think I know when he/she is feeling under the weather.
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EntropyControlSpecialist 11:21 AM 10-07-2014
Originally Posted by taylorw1210:
I have finally learned to do this. It's taken me some time, but I can do it now. And I still get the ridiculous excuses and the parents seem to always try to get that jab in the next time they drop off. "Oh, Suzie didn't have a fever when we got home." or "Johnny acted just fine when we got home, he must have been faking it!" I am with your kids 50+ hours a week - I think I know when he/she is feeling under the weather.
My response is exactly the same every single time they do this (and I agree...with your kid so many hours a week I think I have a grip on how they're doing overall...):
"That's crazy!" *Goes back to doing what I was doing*

Mmm, and on that note I usually have the child tell me later that day, "Ms. ___, I threw up on the table and myself at breakfast yesterday at home and had to change my clothes!" or something similar to which I then text Mom and say, "If Junior throws up again, like he did at breakfast yesterday morning, I will let ya know! Have a nice day!"
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coolconfidentme 11:28 AM 10-07-2014
I had a little girl throw up pink that smelled like Pepto-Bismol & the DCD was quick to say it was strawberry milk. My response was, "I don't care if it was happy juice. Policy says I must exclude." I smiled with arms crossed.
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Sugar Magnolia 11:31 AM 10-07-2014
They think we're stupid.....or they just don't care if you are buying it or not. They have to go to work and will say ANYTHING to make it happen. I'm totally sick of it.
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Blackcat31 11:32 AM 10-07-2014
Originally Posted by taylorw1210:
.... parents seem to always try to get that jab in the next time they drop off. "Oh, Suzie didn't have a fever when we got home." or "Johnny acted just fine when we got home, he must have been faking it!"
"Well I am glad Suzie acted fine when you got home. Whenever I was sick as a child, all I needed was to be with my mom too so I'm glad Suzie is the same way!"

or

"Well Johnny must have really missed you then! I sure hope you are able to get him to stop being such a faker then as it will get pretty hard to have to keep coming to pick him up every time he fakes it when he is here."



......just keep turning it back onto them.

You WILL get really really good at it after while. I promise.
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coolconfidentme 11:40 AM 10-07-2014
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
[i]"Well


......just keep turning it back onto them.

You WILL get really really good at it after while. I promise.
So. True.
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KiddieCahoots 11:57 AM 10-07-2014
Just the thread title of this one has me LOL in a hysterical, crazy lady kinda way.

Ohhhhh..... the never ending excuses.

Like BC mentioned, all we can do is get good at the game of sending the ball back into their court.

Thank goodness for signed contracts! ........
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taylorw1210 12:08 PM 10-07-2014
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
"Well I am glad Suzie acted fine when you got home. Whenever I was sick as a child, all I needed was to be with my mom too so I'm glad Suzie is the same way!"

or

"Well Johnny must have really missed you then! I sure hope you are able to get him to stop being such a faker then as it will get pretty hard to have to keep coming to pick him up every time he fakes it when he is here."



......just keep turning it back onto them.

You WILL get really really good at it after while. I promise.
I sure hope so! I'm still in that stage where I am allowing the parents to somehow make me doubt my ability to correctly observe that their child is ill. Self doubt sucks! But now that I'm in my 2nd year it's lessening.
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Shell 01:19 PM 10-07-2014
Oh, I am so very tired of it. I have cycled through a new group of dc parents since some went off to K, one moved away, etc and filled the spot with new families. Interestingly enough, these parents give me the same b.s "teething" and "allergies" excuses- I just brush it off now. I have a few with a cold, like what a pp said- I also don't exclude for a cold, but the excuses... Oh my! "I only had to wipe his nose a few time" (kid dripping with snot all day), "wakes up congested and is fine" (kid coughing most of the day). I just want to yell that I don't need the nonsensical excuse- a minor cold is not going to get your kid sent home!
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renodeb 02:17 PM 10-09-2014
I actually had to send little boy home sick with a fever and mom said "well we were down at the river this weekend" maybe its the river water. That was a new one on me. I get the teething excuse alot. I just smile and nodd. It does get old though.
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taylorw1210 06:28 PM 10-09-2014
I was pretty frustrated today. The same kid I sent home Tuesday for vomiting ("being too excited") and a fever ("being a hot bod") spent an hour and a half coughing - non stop - during nap time. This poor kid could not catch a break to get some relief. I sent the mom 2 videos of her son coughing and she still asked me if she had to come get him. I told her if it was my child that was coughing that frequently with no relief I would be concerned.

She came to pick him up, went on and on about how he must have allergies and this always happens when his nose runs. And then took him to the walk in clinic where apparently he had a chest x-ray, was told he just had "a little gunk in there", and was given antibiotics for preventative measures. And then asked if he could come back tomorrow.

I told her I would be more comfortable letting the antibiotics do their thing for 24 hours before allowing him back.
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NightOwl 07:18 PM 10-09-2014
Originally Posted by renodeb:
I actually had to send little boy home sick with a fever and mom said "well we were down at the river this weekend" maybe its the river water. That was a new one on me. I get the teething excuse alot. I just smile and nodd. It does get old though.
That dang river water will cause a fever every time!
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NeedaVaca 05:27 AM 10-10-2014
Actually you can get sick from river water/lakes/etc. All kinds of germs and organisms/bacteria in the water and it's easily swallowed or can enter through the ear.
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EntropyControlSpecialist 05:59 AM 10-10-2014
Originally Posted by KiddieCahoots:
Just the thread title of this one has me LOL in a hysterical, crazy lady kinda way.

Ohhhhh..... the never ending excuses.

Like BC mentioned, all we can do is get good at the game of sending the ball back into their court.

Thank goodness for signed contracts! ........
You make me laugh!
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KiddieCahoots 06:52 AM 10-10-2014
Originally Posted by EntropyControlSpecialist:
You make me laugh!
Yay!!!!

If we can find a way to laugh about it with each other, hopefully it can help lessen the stress

And daycare seems to have a lot to laugh at these days .......
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hope 06:54 AM 10-10-2014
Originally Posted by KiddieCahoots:
Yay!!!!

If we can find a way to laugh about it with each other, hopefully it can help lessen the stress

And daycare seems to have a lot to laugh at these days .......
Very true!!!
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Unregistered 07:43 PM 10-11-2014
As a parent I can tell you that if I get a call for a fever of 101+ but she has a temp of 98.6 when I get there 20 minutes later then I'm totally going to question any future diagnosis I get. I'm sure none of you do this, butit happens.
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NightOwl 07:55 PM 10-11-2014
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
As a parent I can tell you that if I get a call for a fever of 101+ but she has a temp of 98.6 when I get there 20 minutes later then I'm totally going to question any future diagnosis I get. I'm sure none of you do this, butit happens.
Well, I believe anyone would question that.
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taylorw1210 05:45 AM 10-13-2014
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
As a parent I can tell you that if I get a call for a fever of 101+ but she has a temp of 98.6 when I get there 20 minutes later then I'm totally going to question any future diagnosis I get. I'm sure none of you do this, butit happens.
I agree that anyone would question that.

However, when I take a temperature 3x and then double check my thermometer's accuracy on other children, and then notify the parent of a fever and they tell me they didn't have one when they got home - I would hesitate to believe the parent is telling the truth about the child. Unfortunately this has happened to me a few times with the same family.
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EntropyControlSpecialist 05:54 AM 10-13-2014
Originally Posted by taylorw1210:
I agree that anyone would question that.

However, when I take a temperature 3x and then double check my thermometer's accuracy on other children, and then notify the parent of a fever and they tell me they didn't have one when they got home - I would hesitate to believe the parent is telling the truth about the child. Unfortunately this has happened to me a few times with the same family.
This happens here, too. I take a temp with two different thermometers at different times while waiting for the parent. Unfortunately, it seems as though my in-home is a fever producer and their homes are magical fever reducers. Still curious about that one. Not curious enough to ponder on it for long, though. Just long enough to say, "Oh, crazy!"
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redmaple 07:14 AM 10-13-2014
I run into the problem where parents do not realize that they need to add a degree if taking an axillary temperature reading.
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Blackcat31 07:19 AM 10-13-2014
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
As a parent I can tell you that if I get a call for a fever of 101+ but she has a temp of 98.6 when I get there 20 minutes later then I'm totally going to question any future diagnosis I get. I'm sure none of you do this, butit happens.
When I text/call/contact a parent for pick up due to a fever, I take a picture of the thermometer and send the photo with the text.

I don't re-temp kids in front of parents to "prove" my honesty.

I also consider other factors such as overall behavior of the child and their ability to participate in regular activities.
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taylorw1210 08:00 AM 10-13-2014
Originally Posted by redmaple:
I run into the problem where parents do not realize that they need to add a degree if taking an axillary temperature reading.
I run into the same problem.

Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
When I text/call/contact a parent for pick up due to a fever, I take a picture of the thermometer and send the photo with the text.

I don't re-temp kids in front of parents to "prove" my honesty.

I also consider other factors such as overall behavior of the child and their ability to participate in regular activities.
I also take a photo of the thermometer with their child in the background (so they know it's a current photo). Hard to argue - but I've still had families get a jab in about how they were "just fine" at home.

On another note - one of the families that I vented about in this thread is now terminated. Such a relief to get rid of families who constantly fight policy!
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LD14 07:54 PM 10-13-2014
I had a dub who is about 15 months who was dropped off this morning and DCD told me he got up earlier than normal today because they had to take someone to the airport, so he is a bit tired. Well an hour into him being here he wasn't acting like himself, I fed him breakfast and then put him on the couch. He fell asleep shortly after and slept for about 5 hours.... FIVE! He woke up once and he didn't want to play like normal, I picked him up and held him for a minute and right back out he went. I took his temp and it was in the 99* range, well about an hour before pickup I took it again and it was 100.7* I called DCD and he didn't answer but was here within 5 minutes (he was early picking up today!) I told him he was sick and I would see him Wednesday... He can't come back until he is fever free for 24 hours. He says, oh, well he just didn't really sleep that well last night and got up early, he's tired. In my head I'm thinking-HE JUST SLEPT FOR 5 HOURS and now he has the fever. NO... he's sick. See ya Wednesday!
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daycarediva 03:37 AM 10-14-2014
Originally Posted by taylorw1210:
I agree that anyone would question that.

However, when I take a temperature 3x and then double check my thermometer's accuracy on other children, and then notify the parent of a fever and they tell me they didn't have one when they got home - I would hesitate to believe the parent is telling the truth about the child. Unfortunately this has happened to me a few times with the same family.
YES!

Also the parents don't take temperatures correctly. I had a dcm use an underarm thermometer, but the end was not UNDER dck's arm, it was sticking out.
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Unregistered 01:11 PM 10-15-2014
Originally Posted by daycarediva:
YES!

Also the parents don't take temperatures correctly. I had a dcm use an underarm thermometer, but the end was not UNDER dck's arm, it was sticking out.
I'm the parent who was complaining about the kid not having a fever when I arrived to get her. I took her temp myself at the center in front of the admins with an ear-canal thermometer that I had put in my purse the week before due to a similar incident. The temp on it read 97.6 so adding the degree would make it 98.6. I've always suspected that someone called in and they were over ratio. Thank God I've found alternate arrangements.
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Blackcat31 01:21 PM 10-15-2014
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
I'm the parent who was complaining about the kid not having a fever when I arrived to get her. I took her temp myself at the center in front of the admins with an ear-canal thermometer that I had put in my purse the week before due to a similar incident. The temp on it read 97.6 so adding the degree would make it 98.6. I've always suspected that someone called in and they were over ratio. Thank God I've found alternate arrangements.
Did you ever point out the discrepancy to the staff?

If so, what did they say?

I am guessing that more than likely your suspicions are correct....as that seems to be a common thing in some centers. At least in my experience here.

I am wondering though, why your child? Was your child the most part time? Last dropped off? Youngest?

Honestly if you suspected this was happening, I would have made other arrangements immediately. Most times your instincts are correct.
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Cat Herder 01:31 PM 10-15-2014
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
I'm the parent who was complaining about the kid not having a fever when I arrived to get her. I took her temp myself at the center in front of the admins with an ear-canal thermometer that I had put in my purse the week before due to a similar incident. The temp on it read 97.6 so adding the degree would make it 98.6. I've always suspected that someone called in and they were over ratio. Thank God I've found alternate arrangements.
Straight from the manufacturer.

"Q. Why do we get inaccurate and inconsistent patient temperature measurements when using our ear thermometers?


A. Most likely, your problems are not related to the thermometers themselves—rather, they are likely the result of an inadequate understanding of the limitations of ear thermometry.

Ear temperature can vary greatly because of environmental factors (e.g., if the patient's ear has not warmed up from being outside in cold weather) and because of variations in patient ear anatomy. Consequently, a single ear-temperature measurement will not reliably establish the presence or absence of a fever.

We discourages the use of ear thermometers to make treatment decisions based on a single measurement. We also discourage the assessment of ear-thermometer readings using protocols and target values that have been established for other temperature-measurement. Ear thermometers should be used only for tracking or trending of patient temperature status. Even this use can be compromised by inconsistent user technique (i.e., failing to position the thermometer at the same depth and angle in the ear canal for each measurement). Inconsistency will result in significantly varied measurements from patients whose temperature status is in fact unchanged.

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kitykids3 05:08 PM 10-15-2014
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
As a parent I can tell you that if I get a call for a fever of 101+ but she has a temp of 98.6 when I get there 20 minutes later then I'm totally going to question any future diagnosis I get. I'm sure none of you do this, butit happens.
If that really happens, then you should question the staff. This is why I take the temp with 2 different thermometers and send a pic of it with the text that they need to go home. Perhaps if you doubt in the future you could just ask them to do that.
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Unregistered 06:26 AM 10-16-2014
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
Did you ever point out the discrepancy to the staff?

If so, what did they say?

I am guessing that more than likely your suspicions are correct....as that seems to be a common thing in some centers. At least in my experience here.

I am wondering though, why your child? Was your child the most part time? Last dropped off? Youngest?

Honestly if you suspected this was happening, I would have made other arrangements immediately. Most times your instincts are correct.
Staff just kind of shrugged their shoulders when I pointed out the difference.

I think that one of the reasons that it was my kid was that they knew that I was one of the parents who could get there the fastest. This was a center that was attached to my job. I work at a manufacturing facility, but have an office job. They could call my office directly while some of the other parents don't have direct phone lines. It would require a call to that parent's manager, who would inform the line supervisor, who would tell the parent. And then, more than likely, that parent wouldn't be allowed to leave until the part that he or she was working on is complete and their tools are checked back in.

I also don't think it was just my kid. I know of at least one other parent who made complaints about excessive exclusions. I think that their child is still at the center so maybe it's gotten better.
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