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  #1  
Old 05-12-2016, 08:54 AM
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KristinsHomeCC KristinsHomeCC is offline
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Red face Quarter Life Crisis...Long

Hey ladies and gents! So I'm always awful at posting because I forget to include important things or points so I'm going to give this one my best shot. I need help.

I am 26 y/o, in great health (besides my PP about my little anxieties), have a 2 yo son, engaged and have been with him for 8 years next month, no money issues (he could support us on his own). But I am UNHAPPY.

I posted earlier in the week, we won't need to go into all that -- but a lot of you had me thinking about my cameras. Ever since my post on Monday, I will catch myself feeling concerned almost. In my head I will go, "oh jeez, DCG is awake in her pin and crying" while I'm dealing with the infamous blow out diaper. I will actually catch myself being concerned. But I'm not sure if it's just having the cameras or if it's because I *know* my new DCBs parents are watching. I checked the cameras yesterday at 1pm (opened for 6 hrs by that point) and it was checked 19 times. I feel as though that is excessive as I only have 3 children I care for, and one wasn't here yet and one I KNOW her mother doesn't even have the app for anymore because she really didn't care for it, too busy at work all day anyways. So that's new DCBs parents, 19 times. I have no way to know if it was open for 5 mins or 5 seconds. They are not new to daycare, their son has been in another home child care since 10 weeks. Are they monitoring me or watching their child play? He was sleeping 4 out of those 6 hrs yesterday so...hmph. I know it can be nerve wracking but I don't want your kid if you don't trust me when leaving them here!

I think its making me unhappy. I feel like I was happier 2 weeks ago before this child started. I also have 2 9-month olds now as opposed to one, so of course things are a little more hectic. I guess I just needed to type it all out because I can't figure out what to do guys

The cameras did NOT bother me before DCD of new DCB mentioned how he was always in a certain spot. I almost felt like they were giving him a sense that I was his employee or something. Not sure. I am going back and forth on terming him. Tomorrow is his last trial day. I haven't bonded with him at all and really couldnt care less if he came back Monday, hopefully it doesn't sound too heartless. Like previously mentioned, DCD left a bad taste in my mouth with that nonsense!

*If* I keep him, I'm going to send out a notice saying cameras will only be for security use/liability reasons and not for parent use. Then, Im sure I will lose them anyways if they check that often.

Seeking advice on what to do about business aspect of it. I advertise that and people who contact me love that about my place. I makeit known at interview they are *not* nanny cams, they are play cams. Also, my PT family uses it from time to time if I will text them when she's doingsome thing cool. Do I lower rate since they signed up with that amenity?
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  #2  
Old 05-12-2016, 09:11 AM
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I would not have cameras that allow the parents to see the children at daycare. I operate a very good daycare, but I would feel sub-conscience about everything that the kids and I did all day long if I knew that parents or anyone was able to constantly watch everything that happened here. Just like you said, you were doing your job of changing a diaper, and since the baby was crying in her ( I think you meant) playpen, and you knew that a parent might be watching and upset that the baby is crying and you weren't tending to him/her, you got all flustered. You can't be good at your job while you are flustered.

If you want cameras, I would use them, like you said, for YOUR purpose of proof that you did nothing wrong if something happens and a parent wants to claim you liable.
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Old 05-12-2016, 09:14 AM
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I don't know what you should do but it sounds like this is really bothering you. I think these parents had a bad experience in the past and are likely checking in to see how things are going with you. Maybe you are adding the negative internal dialogue and this is not what the parent is thinking. I know I would also want to check in on my kid if it were an option and it wouldn't be because I don't trust the provider. I know dad did say something negative but it might just be him feeling he has to do the best for his son. I think in time you will find them checking less and less and they will have confidence in you.

Having said all of that if this is stressing you out then they need to be terminated. Just let them know that you don't feel they trust you and it makes you feel like the relationship is getting off to a rough start. I know that if I had cameras the parents would be nitpicking every single thing I did all day long because parents don't understand group care like we do and most parents are very permissive with discipline etc. Bottom line is that I am the provider and they are at work.

Last edited by Michael; 05-12-2016 at 08:53 PM.
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Old 05-12-2016, 09:32 AM
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My advice is to go with your gut. Nothing has changed in the last two weeks except this family. If you change the camera policy, and they stay at dayacre, it makes me wonder what the next issue is that they will find.

I have let a few families go at the end of the trial period. I used to ignore my instincts, but now I have found if a family or child rubs me the wrong way in those two weeks, tweaking the situation only puts it on hold until the next problem.

Good luck!
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Old 05-12-2016, 10:23 AM
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"I" would never have a camera in my home that could be monitored by anyone else, ever. The liability factor is just way too high for me.

IMHO, keep your cameras but deny parents access. Allowing the parents access allows for them to have visual access to other children. That is an invasion of their privacy.

I have a camera set up in my playroom, but none of the parents know it exists.
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  #6  
Old 05-12-2016, 10:23 AM
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Maybe some time in the next week or so, your cameras will "stop working." When you get new ones a few weeks later, they will be only for your eyes.
At some point in the future IF YOU WANT TO, you can announce a "play time viewing" for parents during a specified 15 min or half hour.

This all assumes that your camera viewing policies are in your policy book, which you can change, and not part of your contract. If it's part of your contract you need to have parent-signed addendums to change it.
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  #7  
Old 05-12-2016, 10:59 AM
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Get rid of those cameras, asap.

They broke. Sorry dcp's!

No way. I am a goofball with my littles and I would NEVER behave that way with an adult in the room.

I have had parents FREAK OUT when the pick up and Susie is crying. Susie was just spoken to about doing X, Y, Z but they rush to Susie and comfort her like I am the biggest monster in the world for saying no. I can ONLY IMAGINE how my day would be scrutinized and how many phone calls I would get to 'discuss' it if I had cameras up.

Also- privacy! As a parent I would NOT want my child to be viewed by strangers! their conversations with you are not private.

My own family privacy. Dh and I spell talk to each other when littles are here. I do NOT want dcp's to know about my personal life.
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  #8  
Old 05-12-2016, 11:02 AM
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Life's too short to be so unhappy and frustrated in your job. If this family is making you uncomfortable and unhappy, term them after the trial period. If the cameras worked for you without this family, keep them. That might work great for other families, but it seems like these guys are overusing it. It's making you uncomfortable and making it difficult to do your job. Families don't really understand how working with a large group of kiddos works for us providers. Sometimes, a kid will have to cry while you do something else. Sometimes, a child is crying over nothing and just needs to be left alone to cry it out. Parents don't see things that way all the time.
Basically, what I'm saying is that you need to do what you feel will help you get back the comfort level you were at before. A different family and maybe a different policy about your cameras might help. Good luck!
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  #9  
Old 05-12-2016, 11:06 AM
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If tomorrow is the end of the trial, then I would simply let them go as it is not a good client/provider fit. I would not mention anything about the cameras at all to the clients you are letting go.

It is your daycare business and you can decide which services you wish to provide going forward, and who you wish to provide those services to.

You should not be this unhappy in your own home.
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  #10  
Old 05-12-2016, 11:09 AM
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Oops --forgot to add there is NO sound! I can't even imagine how many times I'd get myself in trouble for that!

I think I am going to term and find a family I mesh better with. I may give a week for them to find other care out of kindness, obviously with no camera priveledges.
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  #11  
Old 05-12-2016, 11:20 AM
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"Dear Parents,
Due to privacy concerns I will no longer be streaming video throughout the day. Thank you for understanding "

Ms provider.

My reasoning::
You wouldn't allow everyone at dcp work to come sit and watch the kids play. You wouldnt let them videotape and distribute it to whomever they feel would like to see. Right??
No background checks. No guarantee a cellphone isn't recording snippets.
No safety net whatsoever.

Not here. Nope.
If I use cameras it will be for personal protection. Not parental entertainment.

I only send photos of kids to their parents. No one else. Group shots are from behind. Always.

There are sick people out there.
They will steal $3 late fees from you. You think they won't do something bigger?

Nope. Not worth it.
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  #12  
Old 05-12-2016, 11:44 AM
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Get rid of the cameras if they stress you out so much.

But I wanted to touch on the fact that this child is asleep 4 out of the 6 hours he had been there? How old is he again? That's alot. Only newborns, imo, sleep that much. If I were the parent I would be thinking WTH! Just my 2 cents anyway.
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  #13  
Old 05-12-2016, 12:11 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Unregistered View Post
Get rid of the cameras if they stress you out so much.

But I wanted to touch on the fact that this child is asleep 4 out of the 6 hours he had been there? How old is he again? That's alot. Only newborns, imo, sleep that much. If I were the parent I would be thinking WTH! Just my 2 cents anyway.
Wakes up between 4 and 5 a.m., gets here at 7. Falls asleep between 7 and 8, takes a 1.5 or 2 hr nap in morning, then back down again around 11 or 12 for his afternoon nap. Not sure why that was relevant at all but hey, thanks! I don't hold babies back from sleeping when they are tired.
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Old 05-12-2016, 12:29 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by KristinsHomeCC View Post
Wakes up between 4 and 5 a.m., gets here at 7. Falls asleep between 7 and 8, takes a 1.5 or 2 hr nap in morning, then back down again around 11 or 12 for his afternoon nap. Not sure why that was relevant at all but hey, thanks! I don't hold babies back from sleeping when they are tired.
This sounds reasonable, especially since he wakes up so early in the AM.
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Old 05-12-2016, 12:38 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by KristinsHomeCC View Post
Wakes up between 4 and 5 a.m., gets here at 7. Falls asleep between 7 and 8, takes a 1.5 or 2 hr nap in morning, then back down again around 11 or 12 for his afternoon nap. Not sure why that was relevant at all but hey, thanks! I don't hold babies back from sleeping when they are tired.
Really normal sleeping pattern. Infants in my care always sleep the majority of time in my care especially if they have short days. Nothing wrong with it, normal awake times are max 2 hours at a time and that's pushing it sometimes.
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Old 05-12-2016, 12:40 PM
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The first thing I would do is get rid of parents having access to cameras. If you want to keep them and record for your use, that is one thing, but I would never have parents watching all the time as they choose. They can see one thing and think it something else and cause you a huge issue, from having you closed down to having you do jail time.

If families left due to that, so be it. That may get rid of some of your problems also.

Then I would start looking for new families, maybe before you sign anyone make some new policies if you choose. But as someone else posted, life is to short to be unhappy especially when there are things you can do to change it!
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Old 05-12-2016, 12:58 PM
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Really, thanks for all your advice. Life IS too short to be anything but happy, especially in my own house doing what I do! I have definitely decided to quit cameras. Going to type a new policy today. I love the suggestion of offering a 15 to 20 mins window of play time every now and then. My fiancÚ suggested maybe do a tues and thurs play hour where from 2-3 (for example) on Tuesdays and Thursdays they can log in and see a certain activity we are doing. Maybe. I like the idea.

As far as new DCF..I think I may give them the heads up about the camera policy today, that is starts Monday. If they are using the cameras in any way but seeing their child play, I'm sure I'll lose them and thats OK. He will be the only one I lose.
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Old 05-12-2016, 01:08 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by KristinsHomeCC View Post
Really, thanks for all your advice. Life IS too short to be anything but happy, especially in my own house doing what I do! I have definitely decided to quit cameras. Going to type a new policy today. I love the suggestion of offering a 15 to 20 mins window of play time every now and then. My fiancÚ suggested maybe do a tues and thurs play hour where from 2-3 (for example) on Tuesdays and Thursdays they can log in and see a certain activity we are doing. Maybe. I like the idea.

As far as new DCF..I think I may give them the heads up about the camera policy today, that is starts Monday. If they are using the cameras in any way but seeing their child play, I'm sure I'll lose them and thats OK. He will be the only one I lose.
I honestly would not let them view the cameras at all. Just to much trouble can be caused. Remember, the parents don't make the policies, YOU do. They are not your employer, you are SELF employed!
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Old 05-12-2016, 01:22 PM
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Morally, do I shave a few dollars off the weekly rate? It feels like I should because thats something they were promised at sign up. But, it is a PRIVELEDGE and I'm still providing the same awesome care!
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Old 05-12-2016, 02:38 PM
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I think it's been your policy, and your policy changes if needed. Do you have a book? Change it, date it, hand it out.
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Old 05-12-2016, 02:39 PM
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And no rate change.
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Old 05-12-2016, 02:58 PM
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No rate change. If they don't like it they are free to find new care, with proper notice of course since you are not mistreating their children. Just write it up, tell them it is "a service I am no longer able to offer". If they leave, maybe good riddance.
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Old 05-12-2016, 03:03 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by KristinsHomeCC View Post
Morally, do I shave a few dollars off the weekly rate? It feels like I should because thats something they were promised at sign up. But, it is a PRIVELEDGE and I'm still providing the same awesome care!
I don't change rates when changing policies.

I don't change rates when changing services, unless I am adding to my services and then I increase rates.

"I no longer offer this service as of x date." and done.
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Old 05-12-2016, 04:10 PM
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I like your fiance's idea and no rate change!
You know, if this dcf just isn't right for you, don't feel badly about letting them go. Just tell them it doesn't feel like it's working. Even if you change your camera policy, will you still be feeling uneasy with dcd and not thrilled with dcb? That could be the crux of your unhappiness, not the camera at all. (I'd still change the camera situation) I think any new dcparents would still be thrilled with an hour or two a week of doing special activities with their child.

And Kristen, get happy!!!!
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