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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>DCP Asking to Cut Nap Almost in Half...
Boymom 05:48 AM 05-19-2016
It's only 7:45 and I already have a question!

Ok so I have a 9 month old that takes about 1hr-1:15 nap in the morning and about a 2 hour nap in the afternoon. Dcm just asked if I can shorten the naps because he woke up in the middle of the night ONE night. She wants me to shorten the nap in the morning almost in half. What would you say? Should I just try it and see if it works? And it's not that I'm being lazy LOL, dcb is just so tired in the mornings. And I actually wake him up at 10. He would sleep longer if I let him.
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lovemykidstoo 05:56 AM 05-19-2016
I have had people with a baby under a year old ask before to shorten naps and my response has always been, I do not wake a sleeping infant. Infants sleep on demand.
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Blackcat31 05:56 AM 05-19-2016
Originally Posted by Boymom:
It's only 7:45 and I already have a question!

Ok so I have a 9 month old that takes about 1hr-1:15 nap in the morning and about a 2 hour nap in the afternoon. Dcm just asked if I can shorten the naps because he woke up in the middle of the night ONE night. She wants me to shorten the nap in the morning almost in half. What would you say? Should I just try it and see if it works? And it's not that I'm being lazy LOL, dcb is just so tired in the mornings. And I actually wake him up at 10. He would sleep longer if I let him.
How many days a week and hours per day is he in care?
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Boymom 06:00 AM 05-19-2016
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
How many days a week and hours per day is he in care?
He's here every day from 7:30-5:30
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lovemykidstoo 06:05 AM 05-19-2016
Originally Posted by Boymom:
He's here every day from 7:30-5:30
Classic 50 hour a week family that picks up at 5:30, drives home, dinner, bath and put baby to bed and gets upset that the child gets up once in the night. I would not wake the baby up. No way.
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Crazy8 06:06 AM 05-19-2016
I wouldn't do it, I would tell them at 9 months old a baby sleeps when they are tired still and that the naps they are taking are very typical for that age. Maybe they tried to put baby to sleep too early one evening or maybe baby had a bad dream or a wet diaper or any other reason that they woke up ONE night.
When I got the request I would have asked what time baby went to sleep that one night, if they said 8pm I would say well why don't you try putting them to sleep at 9pm for a while and see if that helps.
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JackandJill 06:13 AM 05-19-2016
Ahh, that's so frustrating! Did you let her no that you are already limiting nap time, as you said he could sleep longer than he already does?

My youngest did not consistently sleep through the night until he was 17 months. I would remind her that its not completely unusual for small children to wake up here and there in the middle of the night.
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Boymom 06:16 AM 05-19-2016
Originally Posted by JackandJill:
Ahh, that's so frustrating! Did you let her no that you are already limiting nap time, as you said he could sleep longer than he already does?

My youngest did not consistently sleep through the night until he was 17 months. I would remind her that its not completely unusual for small children to wake up here and there in the middle of the night.
I did tell her that I wake him up at 10 already and she said she still wants the nap cut in half. I was like ooookkkkk! And I also told her that my own baby still wakes up a couple of times and he hardly takes a nap because he is such a light sleeper! Her baby could have had gas or something and it woke him up! This is the second parent that has done this to me.
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Boymom 06:17 AM 05-19-2016
Originally Posted by Crazy8:
I wouldn't do it, I would tell them at 9 months old a baby sleeps when they are tired still and that the naps they are taking are very typical for that age. Maybe they tried to put baby to sleep too early one evening or maybe baby had a bad dream or a wet diaper or any other reason that they woke up ONE night.
When I got the request I would have asked what time baby went to sleep that one night, if they said 8pm I would say well why don't you try putting them to sleep at 9pm for a while and see if that helps.
I seriously wish I would have thought to ask her that LOL! I would love to see the look on her face when I ask her to keep her baby up longer hahahahaha!
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racemom 06:30 AM 05-19-2016
Nope, wouldn't do it. I probably wouldn't tell mom I didn't, just smile and nod if she mentions it again. Baby needs his sleep, mom needs to think you are doing what she wants, you need a happy baby! You need to do what works for your group.

Edited to add: or shorten afternoon nap so she gets crabby baby instead of you!
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Leigh 07:05 AM 05-19-2016
The child needs at least that much sleep during the day at that age. I'd just say no. If it continues to be a problem, then I'd tell them to start a later bedtime. I do think, as already mentioned, that they are probably putting the kid to bed too early if waking is a problem.
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Blackcat31 07:11 AM 05-19-2016
Ask mom to put him to bed an hour later than normal FIRST and if after a month or so you can revisit the subject.

I ALWAYS require parents to adjust times/schedules on their end before asking me to adjust anything.

They are ONE family with ONE child that age, I am a GROUP provider with multiple children in one age group so it only seems fair and logical for the family to adjust times/schedules on their end before expecting their GROUP provider to accommodate INDIVIDUAL requests.
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JackandJill 07:13 AM 05-19-2016
Can I just say, I hate when daycare gets the blame for the parent's schedule being interrupted or inconvenienced. Not sure when parental responsibility became a thing of the past God forbid the parents have to take care of their own children!!

End of rant.
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Boymom 07:19 AM 05-19-2016
Thank you all! I just wanted to make sure I wasn't letting him sleep too much! He's only 9 months, not 4 years old!!! Parents crack me up. Plus, when he sleeps in the morning, that's when I do circle time, songs, abc's etc.

I want to tell this family, either your baby sleeps (like he needs to) or your older kid won't be able to learn as much (since I will have to cut learning time short (since their baby is pretty high maintenance.) And this is the family that is concerned that their other child is skipping his numbers. Ugh.

My older son went to 2 in-home daycares and 1 center. (The only reason we left the home daycares is because we moved.) We NEVER tried to micro-manage our daycare providers!!!!
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Snowmom 07:20 AM 05-19-2016
Originally Posted by lovemykidstoo:
I have had people with a baby under a year old ask before to shorten naps and my response has always been, I do not wake a sleeping infant. Infants sleep on demand.
That would be my response as well.
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Laurel 07:38 AM 05-19-2016
Originally Posted by racemom:
Nope, wouldn't do it. I probably wouldn't tell mom I didn't, just smile and nod if she mentions it again. Baby needs his sleep, mom needs to think you are doing what she wants, you need a happy baby! You need to do what works for your group.

Edited to add: or shorten afternoon nap so she gets crabby baby instead of you!

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DanceMom 08:32 AM 05-19-2016
Biggest request of my daycare life ! Parents always want naps cut shorter Because "they have a hard time getting child to sleep at night".... I hate being dishonest but I always just say I do and when I ask the next day how it went putting them to bed - I'd always get a "soooo much better they went right to sleep" response - when in reality I never changed the nap times. Happens every single time with every single parent :
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Boymom 08:51 AM 05-19-2016
Originally Posted by DanceMom:
Biggest request of my daycare life ! Parents always want naps cut shorter Because "they have a hard time getting child to sleep at night".... I hate being dishonest but I always just say I do and when I ask the next day how it went putting them to bed - I'd always get a "soooo much better they went right to sleep" response - when in reality I never changed the nap times. Happens every single time with every single parent :
That's exactly what I was thinking and exactly what I'm going to do! I don't like to lie but I also don't like being told how to run MY daycare! Especially because he didn't sleep for ONE night. Shoot, even my older (4) son still wakes up in the middle of the night and tries to get in bed with us and he doesn't take a nap at all! That's a whole other story lol!
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Rockgirl 08:56 AM 05-19-2016
I don't lie to parents about napping....I just let them know what I'm willing or unwilling to do--they can decide if it will work for them.
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Blackcat31 09:03 AM 05-19-2016
Originally Posted by Boymom:
That's exactly what I was thinking and exactly what I'm going to do! I don't like to lie but I also don't like being told how to run MY daycare! Especially because he didn't sleep for ONE night. Shoot, even my older (4) son still wakes up in the middle of the night and tries to get in bed with us and he doesn't take a nap at all! That's a whole other story lol!
What option you decide to go with is completely up to you but don't you think lying to her is just a band-aide for a little problem that could potentially be bigger later?

I don't think she is trying to tell you how to run your business.....she is trying to figure out how to manage her child and their bed time schedule/routine. Her request isn't spiteful or controling...

It seems to me the logical thing to do is to explain how group care works and what the consequences of what she is asking you do to will be.... child will be cranky on your watch, won't cure the getting up in the middle of the night issue (common for kids his age)

Educating parents is a better and more productive way to go than lying IMHO.
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Blackcat31 09:06 AM 05-19-2016
Originally Posted by Rockgirl:
I don't lie to parents about napping....I just let them know what I'm willing or unwilling to do--they can decide if it will work for them.

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Boymom 09:10 AM 05-19-2016
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
What option you decide to go with is complete up to you but don't you think lying to her is just a band-aide for a little problem that could potentially be bigger later?

I don't think she is trying to tell you how to run your business.....she is trying to figure out how to manage her child and their bed time schedule/routine. Her request isn't spiteful or controling...

It seems to me the logical thing to do is to explain how group care works and what the consequences of what she is asking you do to will be.... child will be cranky on your watch, won't cure the getting up in the middle of the night issue (common for kids his age)

Educating parents is a better and more productive way to go than lying IMHO.
You're right. I wouldn't have been able to actually lie anyways because I was already feeling bad about even saying that! I just am having a rough day and I need a vacation so incredibly bad. In fact, I'm going to schedule a vacation. Little things are starting to get to me and I'm not myself. So I apologize for saying that! It's always better to tell the truth! I am just having other probs with this family and this was just the cherry on top!
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MrsSteinel'sHouse 09:23 AM 05-19-2016
No, no, no.
"I am so sorry if I keep him up or wake him early he is falling asleep in his lunch!" would be my response.
and at my house afternoon nap is 3 hours most days! I put the babies down 11:15- 11:30 and they are asleep until 2:30 sometimes 3. But, as I tell my parents- we play hard and sleep hard! But, most of my kids will not be in bed before 8:30-9 at night so it all works out. I always tell me parents in interviews that I am sure to give the kids "early naps" so they will go to bed at night for them! (I have a friend who puts her own kids down 4-6!! eek!)
Good luck.
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Play Care 09:24 AM 05-19-2016
Originally Posted by Rockgirl:
I don't lie to parents about napping....I just let them know what I'm willing or unwilling to do--they can decide if it will work for them.
This.
Though in this case I would tell mom "State regulations prohibit me from waking a sleeping infant." I think my analyst would flip if I were to wake an infant so they could be on a "schedule" as the only acceptable schedule for infants is an infant led one...
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Blackcat31 09:51 AM 05-19-2016
Originally Posted by Boymom:
You're right. I wouldn't have been able to actually lie anyways because I was already feeling bad about even saying that! I just am having a rough day and I need a vacation so incredibly bad. In fact, I'm going to schedule a vacation. Little things are starting to get to me and I'm not myself. So I apologize for saying that! It's always better to tell the truth! I am just having other probs with this family and this was just the cherry on top!

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Unregistered 10:43 AM 05-19-2016
It's funny how parents want you to cut nap time shorter. Not napping or taking shorter naps is not an option for me. During the morning if a baby is here before 9:30 they take a morning nap because that's when I do lessons. In the afternoon I'm cleaning up after lunch, trying to eat lunch really fast myself and if I'm lucky I get a few minutes to sit and relax with a little bit of peace and quiet. My age group ranges from infant to 4 so I never know how long "resting" time is going to last. If she's worried about he or she taking shorter naps tell her to use her lunch break to come keep him or her up and entertained.
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thrivingchildcarecom 10:49 AM 05-19-2016
I have had this problem repeatedly over the years. I finally came up with what I think is a satisfactory response. Check out this response I sent to a mom who felt her 2.5 yr was out of the nap phase:

“I want you to know I completely understand how hard it is to get young children to go down at night, especially with their increased need for independence. And although I would agree that some children do just fine without a daily nap, unfortunately, in daycare settings we are mandated to provide children with a Rest & Relaxation period during the course of our day. What usually happens here is due to our constant morning activities a child will fall asleep. If, however, they do not fall asleep they can get up and resume their day. What I would suggest is that you tell Johnny that if he is not sleepy he does not have to take a nap, but just to relax his body during that time of day. I hope this helps.”

After that note, she completely understood my position and told her child he could just rest his body at naptime. Of course, most of the time he fell asleep.

I try to use our regulations and mandates to my advantage whenever I can.
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Ariana 11:02 AM 05-19-2016
Originally Posted by JackandJill:
Can I just say, I hate when daycare gets the blame for the parent's schedule being interrupted or inconvenienced. Not sure when parental responsibility became a thing of the past God forbid the parents have to take care of their own children!!

End of rant.
Agree! I never adjust my schedule or childs schedule to accommodate parents lack of education and knowledge about sleep. I am the expert in this situation. I just tell them flat out that I do not do that.
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daycarediva 02:44 PM 05-19-2016
Originally Posted by lovemykidstoo:
Classic 50 hour a week family that picks up at 5:30, drives home, dinner, bath and put baby to bed and gets upset that the child gets up once in the night. I would not wake the baby up. No way.
My FIRST question when presented with this is "When is bedtime?"

Before 8:30, they're lucky not to be laughed at honestly. Spend time with your child. Get into a great routine. GO OUTSIDE and play after dinner, tire them out (like I do for rest time! ) give them a great warm bath, a book snuggles and they WILL fall asleep.

IMHO- kids resist sleep at older ages because they aren't getting enough parental attention during the day. When you solve that and push bedtime back to GIVE them the attention, it magically fixes bedtime issues.
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lovemykidstoo 05:10 AM 05-20-2016
So was this mentioned at pickup last night or drop off this morning?
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nannyde 05:17 AM 05-20-2016
"I don't provide service to children who don't need a full afternoon nap."
"I don't provide service to infants who don't need a morning nap and a full afternoon nap."
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WAHMderful_Life 08:10 AM 05-30-2016
Originally Posted by JackandJill:
Can I just say, I hate when daycare gets the blame for the parent's schedule being interrupted or inconvenienced. Not sure when parental responsibility became a thing of the past God forbid the parents have to take care of their own children!!

End of rant.
Exactly how I feel. I hate parents that are like my 2yr old won't go to bed early. I just want to say ok well my 2 yr old was up until 10/11pm and didn't start going to bed earlier until about 3. Why do they expect kids to form to adult society? why the hell did they have kids if they don't want to spend any time in the evening with them? And why in the bloody blue moon do they expect them to sleep through the night???? my 4yr old gets up at least once one or 2 nights a week, add a cold or sickness and its every night. She also got up 1-3 times night until she was 3 or so. I just don't understand peoples high standers? Rule of thumb DO NOT WAKE A SLEEPING CHILD LOL! Their brains are growing when they sleep and if you look it up most children will actually sleep worse at night if you interrupt their need to sleep during the day it backfires! IF u want to be a working mom u need to expect that you will still be woken up at night or have late/early mornings. I run a daycare my kiddo still wakes me up am I complaining to you that 8am is to early to start my day since I had to wake up last night or my kid stayed up late No no i am not!
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MunchkinWrangler 08:39 PM 05-30-2016
I have been blessed with my DS who sleeps 12 hours a night all the way through(unless he's sick) and still needs a 2.5 to 3 hour nap in the afternoon. I will not accept any child who disrupts this schedule for my own child much less the other dck's as they are all pretty cranky if woken up before schedule.

But tbh, I think they are just trying to pull a fast one on you. I am like a lot of posters above and mention changes at home not on my time. It has taken some time for me to just be frank with people that my schedule during the day is MY schedule AND their child's. I hope that you have figured this one out for the sake of you and all of your dck's.
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Tags:nap issues, parents - don't cooperate
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