Hi -

We have a live-out nanny who's been with us for just over 5 months. She's great with the kids, tidies up their stuff, does the kids' laundry, makes their meals, etc. We found out today that she's been doing her own family's laundry at our house. She's bringing her own detergent (not sure if that makes a difference).

I'm kind of put out by this but don't want to make a big deal of it. Does anyone else find this odd? She hasn't asked us if she could and a while back I found a shirt in our laundry room which she said she spilled something on and it was just drying. Now i suspect she's been doing her laundry for a while. Why not just tell me when I found the shirt?

Anyways, my husband and I both hate conflict but find this behaviour odd and would like some opinions from others.

Thanks
Stumped

Reply

So...you just found one shirt but you think she's been doing all her family's laundry at your house for months now? I don't understand...

Maybe she really did just spill something on the shirt...and maybe she just washed that one shirt. Have you asked her if she's doing her laundry there?

Reply

I think that maybe an occasional small load or 2 wouldn't hurt anything. Now if she was washing load and loads then i would have a problem with it!

Reply

I do find it odd and think she should have asked first. Just come out and ask her, you are entrusting your childs care to her, and if she lies about that, then do you really know whats going on when you're not there? However, if she is great, then sometimes you need to take the good with the bad. If doing her laundry during the day, to make it easier on herself when she gets home to take care of her own family makes her less stressed, she will be better with your kids without the feeling of falling behind when she gets home, then maybe it's worth it. If you are not comfortable asking her about something so minor, then maybe she is not the right person to take care of what should be your most valuable asset.

Reply

So my husband stayed home yesterday and actually saw her big laundry bag full of clothes. He asked her about it and she said that her own washing machine was broken and she's only been doing her laundry for a couple of weeks. It would have been nice if she'd asked me first. That's just common courtesy. Anyways, thanks for your input. I'm going to talk to her about being more honest with us going forward.

Thanks.

Reply