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  #1  
Old 10-14-2009, 03:14 PM
Heather
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Default HELP ME! 12month Old No Naps

Hey everyone.

So I have this 12month old dcb who started on the 2nd of september. The first week all he did was cry. I eventually would have to just put him in his playpen and ignore him as nothing I did would soothe him and he wanted me carrying him 24/7. It was the only way the other kids and I could have somewhat of our normal routine. We have also stayed out of our normal out of daycare activities (a preschool program where the caregiver attends with the children, gymnastics etc) while i tried to transition him.

Anyways, now he is entering his third week here. He is no longer crying during his awake time. But naps are a nightmare! The little girl that shares a room with him would sleep thru a hurricane and is not bothered by him, but he just SCREAMS at the top of his lungs the entire time. He falls asleep for maybe 15 min. and if there is any noise he is up screaming. All my other dck nap, from 1-4 years old. And they are all on the same schedule. I have never had problems adjusting kids to my 1:00-3:00 napping schedule at all.

Mom insists he naps in the morning from 9:00-10:00 and again after lunch. But then wants him to have a bottle at 2:00??? I have been humouring her requests til now, but I am going to have to tell her simply that her son will be spending the majority of his time here now and although her schedule may have worked well for her when she was at home with him, he is going to have to adjust to what works well for ALL of us in the daycare.

My thoughts are he is probably not sleeping in the afternoon because he isn't tired after that morning nap. Which just doesn't work for me AT ALL. I asked dad at pickup to please pass on to mom (they are not together) that we will be dropping the morning nap and if she could please do so at home as well.

Was this the right thing to do?

Last edited by Michael; 10-14-2009 at 04:30 PM.
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  #2  
Old 10-14-2009, 05:13 PM
laundryduchess@yahoo.com laundryduchess@yahoo.com is offline
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I would drop the morning nap as well. I wouldnt worry about asking her. If she trusts you enough to keep him safe, she should trust you to ensure he gets rest. Here I start from the very beginning trying to get them to one nap a day. I let babies cat nap through the morning from birth but we have a real nap after lunch, they seem to watch the older kids more and more as they grow and just kind of phase into one nap a day by about 9-12 mo.
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  #3  
Old 10-14-2009, 05:22 PM
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Almost every dc child I have had in my care in 10 years has always had a morning and afternoon nap till close to the age of 2. The 2 I have now are 16 mo old and both nap morning and afternoon. I am not going to say much else except that at that age, in my opinion, they still need the 2 naps, and it is just going to take time for him to adjust. I would give the 2 pm bottle earlier though. I would try background music and darkness.
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  #4  
Old 10-14-2009, 07:14 PM
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I have 2 under 2 right now that nap once. They are 15 mo and 18 mo. The 18 mo falls asleep during lunch time in his high chair and I move him downstairs to his crib and he sleep about an hour and a half usually. The 15 month old goes to sleep around 12:30 and is usually out until 2:30-3:00. They've never had 2 naps while in my care, not by MY choice, but because they simply wouldn't go to sleep early enough for 2 and I wasn't about to force it! hehe

I see nothing wrong with dropping the morning nap in your situation. I'd tell Mom that it doesn't work for your schedule OR his while in your care, and that you're going to keep him awake a bit longer in the morning to transition him.
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  #5  
Old 10-15-2009, 03:44 AM
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I,too, once had a mother who wanted her daughter to have 2 naps. She also was a year old, maybe a wee bit older. I tried and it didn't work. There was just to much noise and excitement around her that she wouldn't fall asleep.

Mom would get upset with ME because she wouldn't go down. Mom was telling me how on weekends and days off the daughter would sleep about an hour and half in the morning and about 3 hours in the afternoon. First I am thinking, ok when do you have time for her? But I kept my opinions to myself, for a change haha

Anyway, I just explained to her with the commotion of the other babies and the other parents going in and out, it was impossible. She wanted me to move the babies in the toddler room just so her daughter could sleep! We are talking infants here. I flat out told her no and I am sorry but I will keep on trying. I tried it for the rest of week. Following Monday she came in and was SO upset because the daughter only took 1 nap. Like it was MY fault!

I told her that I would keep trying, I didn't because I had 4 other babies at the time to deal with (now the ratio is 4-1, used to be 5-1) Eventually though Mom got use to it and like I always say...they do grow up!!!!!
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  #6  
Old 10-15-2009, 05:00 AM
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I had this same problem over the summer. Dad wanted the child (12 months)to nap in the am and pm. She wouldn't sleep. AT ALL! She would scream when I put her down for a morning nap. She simply wasn't tired. I hated to pick her up and put her in a crib when she had been playing happily and showed no signs of being tired. It just made no sense to me. I was told that the best way to get her to take her morning nap was to rock her for 30 mnutes or so in a completely dark room. What? I've got 6 other kids here! If she needs to be rocked for 30 minutes to fall asleep, she clearly isn't tired to begin with.

I gave up on even trying with the am nap. It just wasn't going to happen. Dad got angry. So I did something I didn't feel good about. I told him she was napping in the morning even though she wasn't. He was happy and the baby was happy. She went down fine for an afternoon nap and everyone fell asleep peacefully.

I have done this for over 20 years and here's what I have found. Sometimes it's easier to tell the parents what they want to hear and do what you feel is best for the child. I don't feel good about it, but honestly, sometimes they just don't listen to what you tell them. They don't want to believe that their caregivers know their children just as well or better than they do. They can back you into a corner. You want to follow their wishes, but when those wishes make no sense and they won't listen to reason? I say the hell with it. You can flame me for this if you want to, but it doesn't change the fact that sometimes, parents just don't know best.
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Old 10-15-2009, 05:06 AM
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No flaming here, I agree with you 100% When a child is in our care more than the parents during their waking/daytime hours, sometimes we just have to do what is best for all involved.
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  #8  
Old 10-15-2009, 06:07 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mac60 View Post
Almost every dc child I have had in my care in 10 years has always had a morning and afternoon nap till close to the age of 2. The 2 I have now are 16 mo old and both nap morning and afternoon. I am not going to say much else except that at that age, in my opinion, they still need the 2 naps, and it is just going to take time for him to adjust. I would give the 2 pm bottle earlier though. I would try background music and darkness.
My kids took 2 naps until they were close to 2. Most days, they would go on the sofa and lay down on their own. Last year I had a 1 1/2 yr old dcg who would also take a morning nap as well as an afternoon nap. She would just go in the "nap" room and lay down and go to sleep. IMO, kids do need 2 naps. Sometimes it's not convient for us, but it's not about us. It's about the kids
The kids are now 2 1/2 and older so we do all of our activities in the morning. Preschool, crafts, b-day/holiday parties because the kids don't all just sleep 2 hours. They wake up at different intervals, anywhere from 1 hr-3 hours. I normally let them sleep until they wake up on their own.
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  #9  
Old 10-15-2009, 06:58 AM
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My one DCB quite taking a morning nap around the time he turned 1yr. Each child is different. I have another DCB that I just recently have been able to get him to nap at my house, he has been here for 10 months now. He does not take a morning nap or he would not take his afternoon nap. I agree if you can keep him up till noon nap do so. I would not ask the parents to adjust what they do at home they will do what works for them & as the child adjust to his new schedule he will carry it on at home too.
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  #10  
Old 10-15-2009, 08:26 AM
judytrickett
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CRY-IT-OUT (CIO). Yep, find a different room other than where the other kids are (just until he is transitioned) and put him down on YOUR nap schedule and let him cry it out until he goes to sleep.

It is YOUR daycare and therefore YOU set the routine. If YOU want all the kids to sleep at the same time in the afternoon (and I can't blame you there) then so be it.

I think it unfair for a parent to expect you to not have any time to relax and regroup during the day. And that is what nap time is for the daycare provider - her only break during the ten hour day.

Do what YOU have to do to make it work. ANd if mom isn't on board then she can look elsewhere. Daycare is GROUP care and that means doing what is in the best interest of EVERYONE. If a parent doesn't like that then they are free to hire a nanny.

Get him in a seperate room, put him down and close the door and walk away. If he screams, let him. And he only gets up once he figures out that sleep and then waking without screaming gets him out of the playpen.
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  #11  
Old 10-15-2009, 09:06 AM
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I have the same issue here. I have a 1 yr old who is supposed to take 2 naps. One at 10:00 and one at 2:00. I have found that when she gets here at 7:30 she is more than ready to go back to sleep for an hour. Then she stays up until after lunch when all the other kids go back to sleep. She sleeps a little more than 2 hours and its all fine and dandy. She gets two naps... but on MY schedule.
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Old 10-18-2009, 12:06 AM
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You mentioned that the slightest noise wakes him up....have you tried a "white noise" in the room, such as a radio tuned to mellow music, or a CD of something similar to drown out any transient noises that may emit from other parts of the house?

I've found it works not only on kids, but on me, too!
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  #13  
Old 10-19-2009, 03:32 PM
Heather
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So I dropped the morning nap!! And it was a complete success. The poor thing was crying uncontroablly everytime i put him down, and it was simply because he was not tired. The first day he stayed up and played perfectly fine the entire morning. He did cry at nap time, but fell asleep on his own after about 10 mins.

I do have white noise (i run the washer/dryer, dishwasher and a heater with a fan in that room during naps) to drown out the house noise from upstairs (my daycare in in the basement suite). Typically works well, but not with a kid who is totally not tired.

Today he went to bed with a little murmour and slept from 12:30 to 3:15. It was perfect!
Thanks for your help everyone!
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  #14  
Old 10-19-2009, 04:54 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Heather View Post
So I dropped the morning nap!! And it was a complete success. The poor thing was crying uncontroablly everytime i put him down, and it was simply because he was not tired. The first day he stayed up and played perfectly fine the entire morning. He did cry at nap time, but fell asleep on his own after about 10 mins.

I do have white noise (i run the washer/dryer, dishwasher and a heater with a fan in that room during naps) to drown out the house noise from upstairs (my daycare in in the basement suite). Typically works well, but not with a kid who is totally not tired.

Today he went to bed with a little murmour and slept from 12:30 to 3:15. It was perfect!
Thanks for your help everyone!

Yippy! I am so happy things worked out for you! That's why I love coming here. I love this forum and everyone in it! (hugs)
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  #15  
Old 10-20-2009, 05:51 AM
Tiffer Tiffer is offline
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My son naps twice with me on the weekends, but only once at daycare. It's just what he's used to. Getting this child used to that shouldn't be an issue.
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  #16  
Old 10-20-2009, 08:26 AM
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I think all children are different. I've had some that are 18 mo and still take both naps fine, but others seem to ween the morning nap out at 12 or 13 months. Nap time in the afternoon is precious time to me so if it took taking the morning nap away to get them to nap in the afternoon better I'd do it. Not all kids need both naps until 2.
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