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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Anyone Not Do Anything For Birthdays?
MotherNature 07:03 AM 04-10-2014
I have a dcg who will be 2 tomorrow. I asked dcm last week if she wanted to make some banana bread or cupcakes or something a little special. She said no, just treat it like a normal day. That was odd to me. I'm just going to say Happy birthday at pick up. They probably either a. want it to be simple & don't want me making a big deal. (Wasn't planning on it..just a special snack.) or b. Don't want any attention on it b/c they want to do all the praise and birtjday stuff. My husband suggested that one b/c dcm is a bit helicopter-y and passive agressive. If it were my kid, I'd be touched that the provider was willing to do something a little special to honour my child. Is it just me?
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KidGrind 07:40 AM 04-10-2014
I buy a present and hand it to the DCPs at pick up. I do not do any sort of celebration, cake or cupcakes.
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TwinKristi 07:45 AM 04-10-2014
I bake cupcakes on birthdays. Depending on who's birthday, we either give a gift at their party or here if we're not going. We've gone to everyone's birthday the last year so we haven't given gifts here. It's my excuse to bake cupcakes really. LOL I make mini muffin cupcakes for the Littles and big ones for the big kids and my family.
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Blackcat31 07:45 AM 04-10-2014
We don't make a big deal of a child's birthday but we do recognize that it is their birthday.

They usually get to plan the meal for the day, be the line leader, the one to chose first etc.. but we don't do anything huge.

No balloons, streamers or cake. The kids are welcome to bring a treat to share with their friends if they wish but certainly don't have to. If they don't I don't make anything special.

A majority of my families (at least 8 out of 10) will keep their child home with them on the child's birthday or at least pick them up early.
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NoMoreJuice! 07:45 AM 04-10-2014
I had a child whose parents were Jehovah's Witnesses. I didn't have any idea what their religious affiliation was until I made treats and bought balloons for their child's second birthday. When they came to the door, they made a huge fuss and said I needed to get rid of all mention of birthdays. They said it was evil to celebrate a birthday and that God looked unfavorably on people who celebrated. I was really taken aback, because I assumed they would have mentioned this a LONG time ago if they had preferences about things like that.

They ended up taking their child home for the day instead of letting him stay at my evil daycare, and termed a week later because they didn't think I was a good fit for their lifestyle.
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Blackcat31 07:48 AM 04-10-2014
Originally Posted by NoMoreJuice!:
I had a child whose parents were Jehovah's Witnesses. I didn't have any idea what their religious affiliation was until I made treats and bought balloons for their child's second birthday. When they came to the door, they made a huge fuss and said I needed to get rid of all mention of birthdays. They said it was evil to celebrate a birthday and that God looked unfavorably on people who celebrated. I was really taken aback, because I assumed they would have mentioned this a LONG time ago if they had preferences about things like that.

They ended up taking their child home for the day instead of letting him stay at my evil daycare, and termed a week later because they didn't think I was a good fit for their lifestyle.
Did they actually say your daycare was evil?
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NoMoreJuice! 07:49 AM 04-10-2014
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
Did they actually say your daycare was evil?
Lol, no. That was me being dramatic.
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Blackcat31 07:58 AM 04-10-2014
Originally Posted by NoMoreJuice!:
Lol, no. That was me being dramatic.
Oh okay.... I was just like "WOW!"

I know a lot of people who are JW's but I've never heard of any of them actually saying someone who celebrated birthdays were evil so I was just clarifying.

I am a non-denominational child care so I try to stay away from any celebration that may offend a child/family's beliefs.

I suppose the family didn't mention their religious beliefs upon enrolling because they assumed you weren't advertising as a specific religion either so.... kwim?
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drseuss 08:04 AM 04-10-2014
I always have a little celebration for my daycare children on their birthdays. A treat, a small gift, we sing the bday song, etc. Nothing over the top or that would steal mom and dad's thunder. I have a happy birthday sign that I hang up for the day, and the kids love seeing the sign when they come in in the morning, seeing that it is somebody's birthday. I also use birthdays as an opportunity to teach the children about months and years, counting etc.
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Unregistered 08:10 AM 04-10-2014
Maybe since its a week day they aren't telling her. Perhaps they are having a family party on a weekend. I used to watch twin girls and the mother didn't tell them it was their actual birthday when they were young unless it fell on a weekend and she was home to do something special with them.
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Crazy8 08:31 AM 04-10-2014
I've had families who were too busy/lazy to bring something in but they weren't against us celebrating. I usually just write it up on the white board so everyone coming in wishes the child a happy birthday and then give them a birthday sticker and paper crown. Sometimes I buy them gifts, nothing more than $5-10 though.
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TwinKristi 08:37 AM 04-10-2014
One of my families is from a JW family. The DCM was raised JW but isn't now and isn't raising her DS in the church but the Nana takes him to church and often brings him and picks him up. He still celebrates and participates in celebrations, holidays, etc.
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jenboo 08:59 AM 04-10-2014
I have a section in my enrollment packet that asks if there any holidays or celebrations they don't want to participate in.
For birthdays, parents can bring a treat if they want... I don't make anything for them. I give them a birthday badge sticker to wear and a page of stickers to take home. They all love it!
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Second Home 09:43 AM 04-10-2014
We sing happy birthday to the child and I do send home a small gift with them but that is all .
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Unregistered 09:35 AM 04-23-2015
What do you do if dcp's bring cupcakes? I generally only reward good behavior... I just can't reward a child who has been in a timeout with a cupcake the same day. Am I being mean?
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Blackcat31 09:37 AM 04-23-2015
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
What do you do if dcp's bring cupcakes? I generally only reward good behavior... I just can't reward a child who has been in a timeout with a cupcake the same day. Am I being mean?
Send it home.

...and no, not mean at all.
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Gemma 09:40 AM 04-23-2015
Originally Posted by MotherNature:
I have a dcg who will be 2 tomorrow. I asked dcm last week if she wanted to make some banana bread or cupcakes or something a little special. She said no, just treat it like a normal day. That was odd to me. I'm just going to say Happy birthday at pick up. They probably either a. want it to be simple & don't want me making a big deal. (Wasn't planning on it..just a special snack.) or b. Don't want any attention on it b/c they want to do all the praise and birtjday stuff. My husband suggested that one b/c dcm is a bit helicopter-y and passive agressive. If it were my kid, I'd be touched that the provider was willing to do something a little special to honour my child. Is it just me?
I don't do anything for the first 2 B-Days, (I feel the kid really doesn't understand the concept, and I don't need to do things just to impress the parents) I start celebrating from the 3rd B-Day on....we bake cupcakes and I buy something I know the B-Day child would love, then at snack tome we have a little party.
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Blackcat31 09:44 AM 04-23-2015
Originally Posted by Gemma:
I don't do anything for the first 2 B-Days, (I feel the kid really doesn't understand the concept, and I don't need to do things just to impress the parents) I start celebrating from the 3rd B-Day on....we bake cupcakes and I buy something I know the B-Day child would love, then at snack tome we have a little party.
Not a biggie as the info is always relevant but the person you quoted (the thread OP) posted over a year ago.

...just in case you were expecting a reply.
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Gemma 09:50 AM 04-23-2015
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
Not a biggie as the info is always relevant but the person you quoted (the thread OP) posted over a year ago.

...just in case you were expecting a reply.
Oh man I can't sneak one passed you, can I?
and no I really never expect replies, unless I'm asking a question...I was just posting here and there while on break, I never really read the whole thread (or dates for that matter), just the Title
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Mom o Col 10:05 AM 04-23-2015
I used to go all out for each kid's birthday (I never have more than four). Call me jaded but I've stopped doing more than maybe a little crown for them to color and darting happy birthday. The kids didn't seem to care and the parents never thanked me. I would have a special treat, favors, balloons, and a gift. Not worth the hassle and effort for me anymore.
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Annalee 10:07 AM 04-23-2015
Usually, the parent of birthday child will send extra treat for snack, but no gifts or decor are added. Some have birthday party on weekend and each daycare child will get an invitation as will I, but I avoid attending for fear of leaving someone out later.
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Thriftylady 10:08 AM 04-23-2015
Parents can send a special treat for snack time if they like for birthdays. I give an age appropriate book when they leave.
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Josiegirl 10:15 AM 04-23-2015
Originally Posted by Gemma:
Oh man I can't sneak one passed you, can I?
and no I really never expect replies, unless I'm asking a question...I was just posting here and there while on break, I never really read the whole thread (or dates for that matter), just the Title
I'm glad this topic was resurrected because I've been wanting to change my policies to downsize the dcks' birthdays. I do balloons, special treat(either we make them or dcp brings them), sing HB at snack time and I buy them a gift. I really would like to back away from it, especially the balloon part and replacing the $20-25 gift I currently buy with stickers and a birthday crown. I really can't afford it anymore and My dog tries to eat the balloons. I can tell the only thing the dcks care about is 'what'd ya get me' type of attitude. But I wish I could think of some way to replace the gift-giving part with something that might hit home with them that they have more than enough already and are very lucky kids. KWIM?
Guess I'm just getting old and witchy in my ways these days.
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laundrymom 10:17 AM 04-23-2015
Here we sing happy birthday and birthday child gets chocolate milk w lunch. Easy peasy.
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Annalee 10:18 AM 04-23-2015
Originally Posted by Josiegirl:
I'm glad this topic was resurrected because I've been wanting to change my policies to downsize the dcks' birthdays. I do balloons, special treat(either we make them or dcp brings them), sing HB at snack time and I buy them a gift. I really would like to back away from it, especially the balloon part and replacing the $20-25 gift I currently buy with stickers and a birthday crown. I really can't afford it anymore and My dog tries to eat the balloons. I can tell the only thing the dcks care about is 'what'd ya get me' type of attitude. But I wish I could think of some way to replace the gift-giving part with something that might hit home with them that they have more than enough already and are very lucky kids. KWIM?
Guess I'm just getting old and witchy in my ways these days.
Buy something needed/wanted for child care explaining to the kids how at each birthday, ALL the kids will enjoy something together and forever as long as they are in your program....not necessarily something to play with, it could be a rug, curtains, chair, etc.
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Thriftylady 10:22 AM 04-23-2015
Originally Posted by Annalee:
Buy something needed/wanted for child care explaining to the kids how at each birthday, ALL the kids will enjoy something together and forever as long as they are in your program....not necessarily something to play with, it could be a rug, curtains, chair, etc.
LOVE this idea.
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mommiebookworm 10:32 AM 04-23-2015
All I do, is make cupcakes or muffins. And we sing Happy Birthday. I do okay it with the parents first.
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MsLisa 11:46 AM 04-23-2015
I nonchalantly ask my SA kids their favorite candy when I notice their birthday is coming up. I then get them a bigger than normal size box/bag of it (from the Dollar Store usually) and give it to them on their bday when they get picked up. Plus a good ol' hug.

If they bring in something like cupcakes or cookies I usually pass them out as the kids leave. Sugar them up and send them home!

I will also give them simple stuff like extra computer/Wii time or line leader for the gym that day.
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Unregistered 01:01 PM 04-23-2015
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
Send it home.

...and no, not mean at all.
Ok, good! I question it because I feel like the parents expect me to do it just because it's their birthday. Maybe it's all in my head! LOL If they want something special then do it after daycare huh
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Unregistered 01:03 PM 04-23-2015
Originally Posted by MsLisa:
I nonchalantly ask my SA kids their favorite candy when I notice their birthday is coming up. I then get them a bigger than normal size box/bag of it (from the Dollar Store usually) and give it to them on their bday when they get picked up. Plus a good ol' hug.

If they bring in something like cupcakes or cookies I usually pass them out as the kids leave. Sugar them up and send them home!

I will also give them simple stuff like extra computer/Wii time or line leader for the gym that day.
I like that! Candy present to take hom sounds perfect.
Cupcake out the door, nice!
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Unregistered 01:04 PM 04-23-2015
Originally Posted by Thriftylady:
LOVE this idea.
Those cute plastic lawn chairs just came to mind
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originalkat 03:52 PM 04-23-2015
Parents can bring treats if they want to. We sing Happy Birthday at snack time and I send them home with a birthday certificate with a little piece of candy attached. That is all we do and it seems sufficient.
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Thriftylady 04:01 PM 04-23-2015
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
Those cute plastic lawn chairs just came to mind
OH my group would destroy those lol.
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lovemykidstoo 05:07 PM 04-23-2015
Originally Posted by Josiegirl:
I'm glad this topic was resurrected because I've been wanting to change my policies to downsize the dcks' birthdays. I do balloons, special treat(either we make them or dcp brings them), sing HB at snack time and I buy them a gift. I really would like to back away from it, especially the balloon part and replacing the $20-25 gift I currently buy with stickers and a birthday crown. I really can't afford it anymore and My dog tries to eat the balloons. I can tell the only thing the dcks care about is 'what'd ya get me' type of attitude. But I wish I could think of some way to replace the gift-giving part with something that might hit home with them that they have more than enough already and are very lucky kids. KWIM?
Guess I'm just getting old and witchy in my ways these days.
I'm with ya. i have 8 dck's and they all have spring birthdays, so i am busted! i usually buy them about a $10-$15 gift. Then one of them i forget about because they're one after the other and I'm running to the store late at night. It's getting ridiculous. A couple of times lately the parent has told me "oh Johnny's birthday is Thursday". So they make sure I don't forget. It's something expected now and I don't like that. The thing that really irritated me and I know it shouldn't and it's honestly not why I buy the kids gifts, but the kids were all talking about my birthdya coming up and all my parents wished me happy birthday on Facebook. One of my parents gave me a nice card with a gift card in it. I thought it kinda bugged me that I buy their children gifts for Christmas and birthdays and not so much as a card from them. A bouquet of flowers. Just something thoughtful you know? I know it shouldn't bother me, but it made me think why do I do it? I think I'm going to stock up on books and just give the kids a $5 book from here on out.
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Thriftylady 05:13 PM 04-23-2015
Originally Posted by lovemykidstoo:
I'm with ya. i have 8 dck's and they all have spring birthdays, so i am busted! i usually buy them about a $10-$15 gift. Then one of them i forget about because they're one after the other and I'm running to the store late at night. It's getting ridiculous. A couple of times lately the parent has told me "oh Johnny's birthday is Thursday". So they make sure I don't forget. It's something expected now and I don't like that. The thing that really irritated me and I know it shouldn't and it's honestly not why I buy the kids gifts, but the kids were all talking about my birthdya coming up and all my parents wished me happy birthday on Facebook. One of my parents gave me a nice card with a gift card in it. I thought it kinda bugged me that I buy their children gifts for Christmas and birthdays and not so much as a card from them. A bouquet of flowers. Just something thoughtful you know? I know it shouldn't bother me, but it made me think why do I do it? I think I'm going to stock up on books and just give the kids a $5 book from here on out.
I so get it. The parents care if it is them or their kid getting something, if it comes from their pocketbook, forget it. I would love a card, or a sandwich from subway (the only food place in our town) for lunch. But they are just put out that they actually have to pay me.
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lovemykidstoo 05:35 PM 04-23-2015
Originally Posted by Thriftylady:
I so get it. The parents care if it is them or their kid getting something, if it comes from their pocketbook, forget it. I would love a card, or a sandwich from subway (the only food place in our town) for lunch. But they are just put out that they actually have to pay me.
Yes, oh my gosh you're right, even a Sub sandwich would be nice. They all know I drink coffee. A cup of coffee would be wonderful too! Even so much as a $.99 card would be nice. It's the thought behind it. They make sure I don't forget their childs birthday. It's not about the monetary value, but the thought. Next time I'm out and see a bin of discounted books, I'm buying a crapload of them to have on hand. No more $15 birthday gifts. I just can't afford it and it's not appreciated, but expected and that takes the fun out of it for me.
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NoMoreJuice! 06:40 PM 04-23-2015
So glad someone resurrected this post. Today was a big birthday for my (now) five year old dcg. Big like, we've been talking about it since December big! So her sweet parents brought helium-filled balloons to give to each of her friends and right off the bat this morning she starts screaming to her parents that they CAN'T give away her balloons or she'll DIE! Omg, talk about a case of the birthdays.

Fast forward to this afternoon, after cupcakes and singing, everyone was given a balloon (after much coaching on my part, she decided to be sweet and give her friends a balloon). Three separate pickups, three balloons fly away, three children melting into puddles of tears, three parents promising to take their kiddos straight to the store for a new balloon. ::sigh::
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Unregistered 08:19 PM 04-23-2015
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
What do you do if dcp's bring cupcakes? I generally only reward good behavior... I just can't reward a child who has been in a timeout with a cupcake the same day. Am I being mean?

Yes I think it is mean. Is the kid supposed to be punished all day? Time out was his punishment. Once time out is over its a fresh slate imho.

If I was the parent of the birthday child that didn't get a cupcake and the other kids did I would be furious.
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childcaremom 01:34 AM 04-24-2015
I have a birthday crown that gets worn by the child for the day and we sing happy birthday in circle time.

If parents want to send in cupcakes, I will serve them as a late afternoon snack but I don't bake them for the kids.
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Blackcat31 07:01 AM 04-24-2015
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
Yes I think it is mean. Is the kid supposed to be punished all day? Time out was his punishment. Once time out is over its a fresh slate imho.

If I was the parent of the birthday child that didn't get a cupcake and the other kids did I would be furious.

If I was the parent of the birthday child I would probably have taken the day off and spent it with my child but that's just me.

If I wasn't able to take the day off, I would never in a million years hand over cupcakes to my provider and expected her to take over the responsibility of her normal day to day activities and manage MY child's birthday.

That would be mean.
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spud912 08:10 AM 04-24-2015
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
If I was the parent of the birthday child I would probably have taken the day off and spent it with my child but that's just me.

If I wasn't able to take the day off, I would never in a million years hand over cupcakes to my provider and expected her to take over the responsibility of her normal day to day activities and manage MY child's birthday.

That would be mean.
Oh how I wish most parents felt like you. One thing for sure is that I will definitely be changing up how I interview any new clients. My dck's are with me rain or shine, sickness or health (this part will be changing asap though). I had one dck who got sick the day before her birthday and dcm was bummed she would not be here on her birthday since I "make it so fun." I told dcm I think dck would probably rather be with her on her birthday anyway (and yes, I did say that....). It sounds like it's time to un-fun the birthdays. I guess I just feel bad because the parents obviously don't make the actual day special for them and they soooo look forward to their special day that I feel like I want them to at least have fun while on my watch.
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