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Old 02-16-2018, 09:32 AM
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My children's grandma comes over & helps me one day each week. My dcks love her to pieces & she has a background check & everything. Our family refers to her as "Mimi" & that is her preference. The dcks call her that as well. However I have a parent who is very upset over this & wants his child to call her Miss so & so. He says it's a respect issue & he feels that it is wrong for me to allow my own children to call her Mimi as well. The appropriate respectful response would be "grandma."

I personally feel it is disrespectful to call someone a name they don't want. She has adamantly stated that she doesn't want to be miss so & so. She prefers Mimi. Also, I feel offended that another parent feels the right to tell me what my own children should call their grandparents in our own home.

I stated that I would address her as miss so & so when talking directly to the child, but not when addressing her to the group as a whole, but she was upset with that b/c she doesn't want to be called by that name at all. The dcd said if I don't address the issue he will start disciplining his child at home for referring to Mimi when at their house.

I'm at a loss here. I feel he needs to be okay with the title she prefers or find alternate care, but this child is related to me & has been with me since he was a newborn so my heart feels like it is being ripped out of me. Am I wrong in thinking he is the one being disrespectful? How do you handle titles in your daycare?
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Old 02-16-2018, 09:38 AM
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People are so stupid. How old is the child? Start calling dcd Grandpa when he picks up and see how he likes it. My own grandma comes and visits my dcks a lot when the weather is nicer. They all call her grandma because that is what I call her. Would they be okay with calling her “miss Mimi”? Do they refer to you as “miss yourname”?
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Old 02-16-2018, 09:58 AM
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Originally Posted by storybookending View Post
People are so stupid. How old is the child? Start calling dcd Grandpa when he picks up and see how he likes it. My own grandma comes and visits my dcks a lot when the weather is nicer. They all call her grandma because that is what I call her. Would they be okay with calling her “miss Mimi”? Do they refer to you as “miss yourname”?
The child is 2 & only recently became verbal enough to discuss daycare at home. Thus the sudden problem with it. He's been calling her Mimi since he started talking so I'm thinking this would be a hard habit to break even without all the other kids saying it all day.
I can ask about the Miss Mimi thing.

The child is actually my nephew so he calls me Auntie which is ok since it's my real title & a term of respect.
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Old 02-16-2018, 10:10 AM
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The child is 2 & only recently became verbal enough to discuss daycare at home. Thus the sudden problem with it. He's been calling her Mimi since he started talking so I'm thinking this would be a hard habit to break even without all the other kids saying it all day.
I can ask about the Miss Mimi thing.

The child is actually my nephew so he calls me Auntie which is ok since it's my real title & a term of respect.
In this case I’d be telling my brother/sister to get over it.
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Old 02-16-2018, 10:31 AM
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My mom is my backup provider. Because my kids call her granny, the daycare kids call her granny. The parents dont mind and thats what my mom prefers. She says “Im everyones granny” lol
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Old 02-16-2018, 10:42 AM
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In this case I’d be telling my brother/sister to get over it.
My sister's husband is the one who is upset...makes it trickier.
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Old 02-16-2018, 11:11 AM
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My sister's husband is the one who is upset...makes it trickier.
I'd have your sister deal with her own husband. Sillyness.
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Old 02-16-2018, 11:16 AM
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My sister's husband is the one who is upset...makes it trickier.
My thoughts are that this really has nothing to do with the subject and more to do with your BIL wanting to be in control.

Having his wife bring up the topic vs discussing it with you himself says more than it doesn't.
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Old 02-19-2018, 10:47 AM
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My sister's husband is the one who is upset...makes it trickier.

I haven't finished reading everyone's responses, but this guy can pound sand!
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Old 02-16-2018, 10:09 AM
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Originally Posted by mamamanda View Post
My children's grandma comes over & helps me one day each week. My dcks love her to pieces & she has a background check & everything. Our family refers to her as "Mimi" & that is her preference. The dcks call her that as well. However I have a parent who is very upset over this & wants his child to call her Miss so & so. He says it's a respect issue & he feels that it is wrong for me to allow my own children to call her Mimi as well. The appropriate respectful response would be "grandma."

I personally feel it is disrespectful to call someone a name they don't want. She has adamantly stated that she doesn't want to be miss so & so. She prefers Mimi. Also, I feel offended that another parent feels the right to tell me what my own children should call their grandparents in our own home.

I stated that I would address her as miss so & so when talking directly to the child, but not when addressing her to the group as a whole, but she was upset with that b/c she doesn't want to be called by that name at all. The dcd said if I don't address the issue he will start disciplining his child at home for referring to Mimi when at their house.

I'm at a loss here. I feel he needs to be okay with the title she prefers or find alternate care, but this child is related to me & has been with me since he was a newborn so my heart feels like it is being ripped out of me. Am I wrong in thinking he is the one being disrespectful? How do you handle titles in your daycare?
This sounds like an issue the parent needs to address with the child.

Personally I would refuse to correct the child but would respect the parent's wishes so if the child called her Miss Mimi I would be okay with that but if she just said Mimi like everyone else I would not correct her and would just continue on.

If the parent insists, it's up to the parent to teach their child. It's a family issue nothing to do with you.

If the parent still persists, then perhaps your program is not the right fit for this family.
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Old 02-16-2018, 10:44 AM
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Originally Posted by Blackcat31 View Post
This sounds like an issue the parent needs to address with the child.

Personally I would refuse to correct the child but would respect the parent's wishes so if the child called her Miss Mimi I would be okay with that but if she just said Mimi like everyone else I would not correct her and would just continue on.

If the parent insists, it's up to the parent to teach their child. It's a family issue nothing to do with you.

If the parent still persists, then perhaps your program is not the right fit for this family.
This is how I feel exactly. If they want to teach him that at home it's fine, but I shouldn't be told how to address my mil in my own home. Thank you for stating it this way. I was just worried I was being too sensitive b/c it's family. Sometimes we don't see it as clearly when our emotions are involved.
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Old 02-16-2018, 11:13 AM
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Well, your brother thinks his way is the only way. And he's wrong. In my family, his saying "Grandma" would be disrespectful. We said, "Grandmother" growing up! It would have felt totally ridiculous for me to say the word "Grandma" to my grandmother!

Really, everyone wants to be called what they want and why not acquiesce? It's not his decision to make. I could see if the child was calling her "Mimi" and she didn't want him to.
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