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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Constant Fighting
miabellamom 07:51 PM 04-18-2010
I have a problem with my own 3 year old boy fighting constantly with this 2 year old dcg. It is ALL DAY long, taking toys from each other, hitting, pinching. It is mostly my own son who gets mad because she is playing with his toys. I give him time outs in his bedroom and make him stay there till I say he can come out and then it starts all over again! I am sorry to say I even spanked my own child a few times and sent him to his room. I would never spank my dcg, but I feel bad that she has seen me do this. I am just at my breaking point. He does not learn his lesson so now my dcg screams every time he goes near her cuz she thinks he will hit her or take her toy. She is only here 3 days a week and I have only been watching her a few weeks so they are not very used to each other, but geez what should I do about the fighting? I have taken the toys away they are fighting over, made them sit in time out. I am exhausted. Any ideas?
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melskids 04:02 AM 04-19-2010
i am having the same issues with 2 - two year olds, and also my 7 year old son with another 7 year old girl. i think its because they are so close in age. with the little ones, i use a lot of redirection, and try to stay in between them as much as possible. having alot of the same toys, instead of just alot of toys, seems to help. (like two balls, two baby strollers, etc.). when i have to feed the baby , or change a diaper, or cook lunch, or whatever, one of them comes with me as a "helper". i must say....it can be exhausting

now with the older ones, i'm at a loss..... the girl is very spiteful. she goes over and kicks the toys my son is playing with, steals stuff and hides it from him, etc. then he completely loses it and screams and pushes her. ( i dont blame him, really, but it is still unacceptable(SP). i try to keep them seperate too, but she is very sneaky. nothing is working, short of terminating her. it may have to come to that sadly. its not like i can term. my son...lol but he gets along with all or the other kids....its just her
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TGT09 04:26 AM 04-19-2010
I had this issue with two 2 year olds in the beginning. Then, it seemed like one day they just snapped and they were the best of friends. Now, they do the gang up thing on me. :-)
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momofsix 04:54 AM 04-19-2010
I would also make sure, if you're not already, that your son is not having to share ALL his toys with day-care kids. Make sure he get to keep some special toys in his room or somewhere else the other kids won't get to. It is a lot that we ask of our own kids when we do daycare!
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MarinaVanessa 05:50 AM 04-19-2010
Originally Posted by momofsix:
I would also make sure, if you're not already, that your son is not having to share ALL his toys with day-care kids. Make sure he get to keep some special toys in his room or somewhere else the other kids won't get to. It is a lot that we ask of our own kids when we do daycare!
I totally agree here. I made sure that my daughter's room is her own and that her toys are her own. She has the option of letting the DC kids play in her room or toys or not but a rule that I have is "everyone or no one". Everybody gets invited to play in her room or with her toys or no one can. This helps her feel like she hasn't lost everything to the daycare (her mom, her house, her space and her toys). I have seperate toys for the daycare that we all share and she has her own.

I also treat her like I really need her help and like I absolutely cannot to anything without her. She is more like my assistant than another DC kid and that really boosts her confidence. I think it makes her feel like mommy needs her and hasn't forgotten about her. I think for your situation maybe involving him more with activities such as asking him what he would like to do the next day and having him help put everything together or maybe even having a say in what you'll all be eating the next day. You can give him options to choose from and he can have the final pick. Even helping out by bringing you diapers or supplies. Good luck.
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sahm2three 02:42 PM 04-23-2010
OMGosh! I could have written your post! My own son who is almost 4 fights with this other DCB who is 3. My son thinks he is SOOOOOOOOOO much older than him! LOL! They are almost a year apart, but my son acts like it is years difference! He told me that he can't play with him because he isn't on his level!! What a card! I told him that he didn't have to play with him but he did have to talk kindly! KIDS!
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Tags:3 year old, fighting
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