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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>How Long Do You Give A Difficult Parent
Unregistered 05:45 PM 12-27-2012
I have been trying to work with a parent for over 6 months and they are just difficult. All of my other parents are amazing and are respectful of me, my home and my family. This parent treats me more like an employee or drop in babysitter. I have been firm and maintained my policies but they don't seem to get it and I am just over the stress of managing them. I just filled my last spot and really don't want to term anyone but I'm not sure what else to do.
Michael 11:25 PM 12-27-2012
Pushing this post back up. Consider becoming a Daycare.com Forum member.
MamaG 12:13 AM 12-28-2012
I have a three strikes rule. Small infractions only. If they do something real rude or bad I terminate on the spot. Ill slam a door right in their face! They sound like chronic trouble. Without much info I can't over any suggestion other then terminate! It's so not worth the stress seriously.
Meyou 03:03 AM 12-28-2012
Honestly, I wouldn't put up with it for 6 months. I will offer a couple of small reminders about policy when new clients first start but overall I expect them to read and follow my handbook to the letter at all times. That's the reason I have it.
Unregistered 03:32 AM 12-28-2012
It is really a personality thing and the parent has their own issues. They are always checking on things (examining my food, looking in the bathroom, being rude to my child) and I don't think trust anyone. Also they question everything and think the policies are open for discussion when they are not. This week was a good example of when children are not scheduled I am not open, so they wanted a refund? I don't sit around all day waiting for kids to get dropped off, I am not a drop off type provider. If you are not scheduled you aren't coming, I will not open so you can go have an adults only lunch, that is not my program. I have a life and my time and my family need respect. So how do I terminate them?
Holiday Park 04:28 AM 12-28-2012
So to those that do the 3 strikes your out, do you put that in writing too. Or is this just something you do regardless , like giving them 2 chances and then saying thats it goodbye. ?
countrymom 04:46 AM 12-28-2012
what are they doing that they are difficult. Sometimes we just don't mesh with the parents and every little thing they do drives us crazy.
itlw8 05:57 AM 12-28-2012
It would depend on what was going on. I assume you already have late policies in place, payment and so on. As long as my rules are followed I can deal with the rest.
MarinaVanessa 06:53 AM 12-28-2012
For me I suppose it depends on what the client is doing. I tend to have a lot of patience and even when one DCM pushed every policy and stretched every thread of patience that I had I still worked through it with her.
The thing is that in my situation the DCM would constantly break my policies then when I would enforce them she would threaten to leave. I couldn't afford to lose the income so I bared with it. Once I had enough clients and could afford to let one go I wasn't afraid of losing her anymore. She tried to dictate which policies she would follow in my daycare so I firmly set my foot down and she again threatened to leave.
By then I was done being patient with her so when I commented about her being late she tried excusing her tardiness and didn't take me serious. I persisted this time and again I firmly told her that she needed to follow my rules to which she replied that she needed me to be more flexible otherwise she would be forced to find another DC. I simply told her that I understood that she needed someone reliable that could work with her schedule and that she needed to do what was best for herself and her family ..... she was nodding her head to this and saying "Yep. yep I do" .... until I said "And just like you need to do what is best for you and your family, I need to do what is best for me, my family and my business. If you think that you need to find someone else that can be more flexible and has longer hours then I completely understand and no hard feelings."
While I said all of that she got very quiet and by the end she had a surprised look on her face and looked like a deer in headlights. Well of course she back paddled and I think that was when she realized that I wasn't backing down anymore. We still had minor issues after that but never again about being late or payments or serious things. Eventually she phased out to drop-in and sometimes she calls me to see if I'm available but 80% of the time that she calls I "don't have space" for that day ... if I can use the extra cash then I sometimes take her
.
So ... moral of the story is that sometimes no matter how hard you try to make things work with a trouble family sometimes it just won't get better especially if you are the only one that's trying to make it work. Issues can fester and you can build resentment and you can find yourself dreading the days that you have to see this client. I find that clients don't respond unless they are being inconvenienced when they think they have the upper hand. Sometimes you just have to be firm and make it clear that either they follow the policies or they need to find different childcare arrangements. Good luck.
The thing is that in my situation the DCM would constantly break my policies then when I would enforce them she would threaten to leave. I couldn't afford to lose the income so I bared with it. Once I had enough clients and could afford to let one go I wasn't afraid of losing her anymore. She tried to dictate which policies she would follow in my daycare so I firmly set my foot down and she again threatened to leave.
By then I was done being patient with her so when I commented about her being late she tried excusing her tardiness and didn't take me serious. I persisted this time and again I firmly told her that she needed to follow my rules to which she replied that she needed me to be more flexible otherwise she would be forced to find another DC. I simply told her that I understood that she needed someone reliable that could work with her schedule and that she needed to do what was best for herself and her family ..... she was nodding her head to this and saying "Yep. yep I do" .... until I said "And just like you need to do what is best for you and your family, I need to do what is best for me, my family and my business. If you think that you need to find someone else that can be more flexible and has longer hours then I completely understand and no hard feelings."
While I said all of that she got very quiet and by the end she had a surprised look on her face and looked like a deer in headlights. Well of course she back paddled and I think that was when she realized that I wasn't backing down anymore. We still had minor issues after that but never again about being late or payments or serious things. Eventually she phased out to drop-in and sometimes she calls me to see if I'm available but 80% of the time that she calls I "don't have space" for that day ... if I can use the extra cash then I sometimes take her
.So ... moral of the story is that sometimes no matter how hard you try to make things work with a trouble family sometimes it just won't get better especially if you are the only one that's trying to make it work. Issues can fester and you can build resentment and you can find yourself dreading the days that you have to see this client. I find that clients don't respond unless they are being inconvenienced when they think they have the upper hand. Sometimes you just have to be firm and make it clear that either they follow the policies or they need to find different childcare arrangements. Good luck.
makap 09:46 AM 12-28-2012
Anyone who is disrespectful of myself or any member of my family in my OWN home would immediately be told that it is not tolerated in any way. Anyone being rude to my child would really set me off! 
I would immediately terminate! I myself would give the real reason for doing terminating.
Their rudeness/lack of respect!
If you are unable to do this can you just tell them that you needed to fill a space with a full time family?
I would immediately terminate! I myself would give the real reason for doing terminating.
Their rudeness/lack of respect!
If you are unable to do this can you just tell them that you needed to fill a space with a full time family?
cheerfuldom 10:39 AM 12-28-2012
Just write a short term letter stating that you dont feel that your program is the right fit for them or their needs and leave it at that.