I have a few questions for the more experienced providers out there. I've been watching 3 girls (from the same family) in my home for several months now with great success. They love it here and I enjoy having them in my home. They only come once a week, however, so I took in a sister and brother three days a week. They are ages 5 and 3 1/2. I'm really struggling with these two and feel terrible that I mentally groan when they show up. Neither one of them speak very well. It's not speach impediment. That I could live with. It's a complete lack of vocabulary. The five year old has no knowledge of letters. When the parents finally returned the start up paper work, they completely skipped the child information sheets that asked what the children are interested in, their likes and dislikes, their abilities, and other information. The 3 and 1/2 year old is not potty trained. I know that boys take longer and can still be learning past the age of three, but they have not yet started other than switching from diapers to pull-ups. I made the mistake when I met them and assumed when they told me he was 3 1/2 that he was already potty trained. I didn't even ask. Bad move on my part, I know. I don't usually take kids that aren't potty trained. I'm pregnant right now and changing his dirty diapers is literally making me ill. I'm really feeling torn right now because I really want to help these kids learn since they are obviously not getting any type of instruction at home (they only want to watch movies and they get upset if we try to do other activities) but I'm to the place where trying to figure out what they are saying for 8 hours a day is just exhausting me and the diaper changing is making me sick. I'm new at this and have no idea if I'm totally overreacting and expecting too much out of these kids or if my suspicion that their parents are "lazy" is correct. I also have to keep a very close eye on the boy to prevent him from pushing, kicking, hitting, biting, and hissing at the other kids (including my own two). So far, no injuries but we've had some close calls. Sorry this was so wordy. Any help would be very much appreciated.

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I'll tell you the same thing my husband reminds me of frequently. You can't save each and every child. Sometimes you have to realize no matter how hard you try it's not going to make a difference. Cut your losses and run.

I had a family of three kids. Much like you, I'd dread the days that they were here. The oldest wasn't too bad, the middle was quite a handful, the youngest was borderline special needs. I felt sooooo bad for these kids, but after a while I realized that they were not only destroying the belongings in my house (my couch is now ruined thanks to the youngest) but they were also destroying my sanity. I'm much happier now that they're gone.

I was very new when they started with me. I was licensed in March '09, they started in May or June, I had to let them go the beginning of December. When I did I felt a huge weight lifted off my chest. I too was pregnant and wondered if my patience was just thin in general. I'm even more pregnant now (delivering in 3 weeks) and nope, those kids just weren't the right fit for my daycare.

I hate to say it, but from what I've seen/experienced, if you DREAD the days they are in your care then it's in both yours and their best interest that they move on.

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I agree - not every child/family is going to be a good match in your home. This is a fact that I specifically state to parents during interviews. Whether it's the child's or the parent's needs or personalities, sometimes they just don't mesh well with you or your group. It's in everyone's best interests at that point to give them notice and move on.

I think it's in our nature - those of us that choose daycare as a profession - to want to help every child and be of great service to every family that interviews with us. But my husband needs to remind me at times - as Greta's does her - that we can't always *fix* every child. We have to know our abilities and our limits.

If dealing with these two is just too much for you, I'd give them their two-week notice on Monday, and send them on their way. You'll be amazed how remarkably better you'll feel when they're gone.

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Like my wife said (Greta), if you dread those days they are going to be there, it's not good.

Not good for not only your mental health, but your mental health directly affects your physical health.

Look at the people who hate their jobs....they're always gray, sickly people. Now look at the people who enjoy their jobs (even in the same workplace, doing the same tasks)....they're always a much healthier person.

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I totally agree as well. If you dread the daycare child coming on the certain days they come, it is totally not worth it any longer!! I have had to say goodbye to a 3 1/2 yr. old almost 4, and boy what a difference without her!!!!!!!

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Thanks for the advice. I talked it over with my husband and we both agreed that it was time to give this family their two week notice. I just don't know if I should wait until they bring their kids on Wednesday to tell them or if I should call them before hand.

Thanks again for all the advice.

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I agree with the other posters. If you dread the thought of them coming then it is affecting your ability to have a good day! Say good-bye & the sooner you move on the easier your days will become. Good luck.

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It may be a little late (it is Wed AM) for this advice, but I would tell them in person, and give them notice in writing, and have them sign and date a copy of that notice for you to keep on file.

The old rule, "Document, document, document"

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