Blackcat31 02:15 PM 06-23-2020
Originally Posted by CeriBear:
I do this as well. I’m often commenting and praising the kids who follow the rules rather than getting after those who do little things that are wrong. If a couple of kids are messing around with each other during circle time I might say something like “look how nice and quiet John and Suzie are being. Sitting like big kids, voices off, listening to Ms. Ceri.” Usually everyone else follows suit.
It’s the aggressive behaviors that are hard to deal with. When he gets upset or frustrated he becomes aggressive towards others. I’ve tried telling him that it’s okay to be upset or angry but that he needs to just take some deep breaths and calm down before reacting. Does kicking another child really help even if the other child grabbed his green crayon? How else could he have solved the problem.
Aggressive behaviors are common for littles with limited verbal skills and those with delayed development but at 4 it is unacceptable for him to behave that way.
The FIRST time he was aggressive towards another child, he would be immediately separated from the others (except when he is directly by my side). He would shadow me all day and would need to earn back his right to play with the others.
A documented report would be sent home to the parents as well. I would outline the possibility of termination should the behavior continue.
The FIRST time he hit/kicked or became aggressive towards myself or another adult, he would be sent home immediately. Three times and he would be terminated.
Aggressive and violent behavior is not something I am willing to tolerate nor correct without the lead from a parent. I will support and assist the parent in teaching their child to use alternate methods of expression but I will not do it alone nor will I shoulder the bulk of the responsibility.
I am sorry you are dealing with this issue.
It's one of the toughest we deal with in group care but it's also one that isn't taken seriously enough by adults IMPO and that is part of the issue as well.