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Old 10-04-2011, 10:49 AM
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Default Aggressive 2 1/2 Year Old

How do you handle a child this age that you spend the majority of you day pulling off other kids. He scratches, hits and pinches. He is the oldest and I have tried time out and had no success. The other parents are getting frustrated because their kid keeps being the victim. I feel like I can't turn my attention to any other child because he will hurt someone else.


I talked to mom and all I got was he doesn't do that at home. I am frustrated and I need advice.
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Old 10-04-2011, 11:08 AM
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i don't deal with children like this. In the past 8 years I have had one child that was aggressive (not so much towards the kids) and he lasted two days.

You have to think about your other families. Is it worth keeping this one chld that has already upset all of your other families? You may run the risk of losing a good family becuase of this child. Don't let a child become a "Hazard" to the other children. If I were you, I would term this child right away.
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Old 10-04-2011, 11:16 AM
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Oh yes he does do it at home!

We all get the " he never does it at home" speech. "He must have learned it from daycare" excuse.

Sooo not worth it. I had 2 in my care (brothers) and they were horrible. ALL of my other families threatened to pull their kids out.

Terminate and do it quickly. You and the other kids will be happier.

TRUST US!!!!
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Old 10-04-2011, 11:53 AM
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Other than shadowing him all the time there's nothing you can do about kids like this, especially if the parents are in denial about the situation and aren't offering any help whatsoever.
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Old 10-04-2011, 12:14 PM
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Separate him.

Give him a place to play where is in not in contact with the other children.

Invite him to join in but the minute he starts to behave aggressively, he needs to be removed from the group and isolated until he learns acceptable social behaviors.

Repeat until he understands that he must behave in order to be part of the group.



Ariana.....I disagree that you have no means of teaching this child without the support of the parents. Obviously parental support is ideal but it isn't necessary when teaching a child how to behave while in your home/care. I have many children who have parents allow a vast array of unacceptable behaviors at home but the children all know how to follow the rules here. They are smarter than we think.

Last edited by Blackcat31; 10-04-2011 at 12:18 PM.
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Old 10-04-2011, 12:21 PM
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Agree with black cat.
Start day with him playing with others. Tell them ALL what you want and dont want them doing. Like I love when you all play together nicely, but I get sad when one of you touches your friends. Lets play nice. The minute he touches anyone else ( because he already is known for doing this) he will play by himself the rest of the day. he will either get real bored fast or shape up. Do not let this kid out of your sight. When you go potty, he will stand outside of door and repeat the alphabet so you can hear him. If he moves away from the door then put him in play pen ( i know he is too old but maybe he will listen then), etc. He will learn its not fun to be your shadow and not trusted.

If this doesnt work, terminate, because i would hate for you to lose other families because of this.
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Old 10-04-2011, 12:55 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Blackcat31 View Post
Separate him.

Give him a place to play where is in not in contact with the other children.

Invite him to join in but the minute he starts to behave aggressively, he needs to be removed from the group and isolated until he learns acceptable social behaviors.

Repeat until he understands that he must behave in order to be part of the group.



Ariana.....I disagree that you have no means of teaching this child without the support of the parents. Obviously parental support is ideal but it isn't necessary when teaching a child how to behave while in your home/care. I have many children who have parents allow a vast array of unacceptable behaviors at home but the children all know how to follow the rules here. They are smarter than we think.
I totally agree. I had to do this with a DCG about 6 months ago. She was specifically violent to her sister but I treated it just the same. I set up a seperate area with a few toys and some books. If she was violent she was sent there for the rest of the morning/afternoon and we tried again the next day. It didn't take very long at all for her to stop.
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Old 10-04-2011, 01:07 PM
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Maybe he gets one chance in the morning, and if he blows it, seperate. Then, after nap a clean slate? I think the rest of the day would be too much for him to understand if he does it in the morning.

Maybe he is someone who likes alone time. I would seperate him if he hurts someone, but also give him the option of going into his area by choice B4 he does. Does he seem to have any interest in playing with the other kids? Does he play at all? I mean, will he drive a car around and go brmmm brmm, or build something with blocks, or anything?

I had a boy years ago who was very aggressive. I ended up letting him go after 14 mo of trying. He was very bright, ended up being "gifted and talented". He's moved away, but seems to be doing well. He just didn't like going with the flow...marched to his own drummer. He was really sweet one-on-one though. It was wierd how sweet he could be.
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Old 10-04-2011, 02:07 PM
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I "Just' noticed it was a 2 1/2 year old. I dont know why I thought was a 4 year old. In the case of a 2 1/2 year old I agree start over after nap!
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