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Old 07-03-2019, 09:05 AM
happymom happymom is online now
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Default Child Making Threats

I am not a child care provider, so this information is coming from my 7 year old.

Our daycare center has a summer program that my son goes to. He's pretty well liked and gets along with the other kids, but he doesn't have any good close friends there like he does in school.

When I picked him up yesterday, he ran and hid by the front desk and I found him with his head between his knees and very upset. I took him to the car and talked on the way home. He told me that everyone was mean, not just to him but to a lot of the kids. I asked for examples and he told me that one child was making threats like "I'm going to kill you" (not directed toward my son) and that they meant it. My son was crying. He told me that after the main teacher leaves for the day, the other kids turn mean. So from what I gather, this is happening specifically when a certain staff member (who is new) is there.

I mentioned I would talk to the director and he was crying and begged me not to. He is extremely worried that this bully-kid is going to find out he told someone.

I called the center immediately and talked to the assistant director. I mentioned about my son's fear. He's not in daycare for the rest of the week, but they said they'd follow up with me next week.

I feel really bothered by the whole thing. My son is upset with me that I told the director. I didn't want to lie to him. I told him when stuff like this happens we need to tell an adult and through tears he told me that's why he is telling me. I feel guilty.

I do not know ANYTHING about the child who made the treats, except a name.

I'm mostly just venting/talking. I hope I didn't blow anything out of proportion.
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Old 07-03-2019, 10:20 AM
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I don't think you're overreacting. I would have done the same thing. If your child is that upset, and it's an abnormal reaction for him, then something in the environment has changed. Bringing it to the director's attention and just finding out if there's some more oversight they can give at that time of the day, will hopefully put a stop to it. And I know you feel bad, but it's just part of the parenting gig. We have to protect our children, even when they don't want us to. And if your efforts help get it resolved, he will be very grateful for you stepping in in the end.
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Old 07-03-2019, 10:41 AM
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Thank you.

I know they will resolve it. I'm not actually worried about a child killing another child in the center, but it's crappy that any kid doesn't feel safe.
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Old 07-03-2019, 11:10 AM
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Does the owner know about what is going on? If not, I would let the owner know as well. Im like you I would,not be very happy to know that was happening. Is the staff watching the children and not distracted? Are they playing on their phones when they are suppose to be watching children?
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Old 07-03-2019, 11:21 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by springvalley112 View Post
Does the owner know about what is going on? If not, I would let the owner know as well. Im like you I would,not be very happy to know that was happening. Is the staff watching the children and not distracted? Are they playing on their phones when they are suppose to be watching children?
I have never ever seen a staff in the daycare playing on their phone when they were supposed to be watching children. They have a very strict no cell phone policy and I believe it is adhered to.

I did not let the owner know, but I know that the director will bring it up to her.
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Old 07-03-2019, 12:43 PM
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I think you are not overreacting.

If this doesn't get dealt with to your satisfaction, I would get firm with them all up the line of authority, and I would talk to the owner.

That center has the ability to term aggressive kids, just like the rest of us do.

But it sounds like the problem is the teacher. Most of us have a rule that says if a kid can't play nice, they don't get to play. They can just have a quiet reading time by themselves or coloring.
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Old 07-03-2019, 01:55 PM
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Originally Posted by Mom2Two View Post
But it sounds like the problem is the teacher. Most of us have a rule that says if a kid can't play nice, they don't get to play. They can just have a quiet reading time by themselves or coloring.
I agree with this. I don't want to throw people under the bus, but if it helps identifies the problem, I mentioned that I believe there is a problem with the teacher.
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Old 07-03-2019, 02:58 PM
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Something similar happened with my 6yr old a few months ago at school. She all of a sudden was afraid to go to school and started talking non stop about an Xavier kid. I let it go giving her some tips on how to stand up for herself but when she started waking at night with nightmares I knew something was way off.

Luckily the teachers were great and made my daughter feel safe again at school. Their main strategy was to get her to play with Xavier while no one else was around. It wasn’t forced or anything they just participated in an activity together and got to know each other a bit better. This gave my daughter the confidence to stand up to him because now he was a person she knew rather than “the monster”.

In your situation I think it is just lack of supervision by this new teacher and I would absolutely say so. I might even be tempted to go spy on the yard if they are outside. I have done this before and found teachers all chatting with each other barely supervising
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Old 07-03-2019, 04:22 PM
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Here's our cell phone policy
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