Default Style Register
Daycare.com Forum
Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Lingering
MomBoss 02:11 PM 02-27-2020
I know there is a million posts about this and Im sure ive posted about this before. But im still having so much problems with parents lingering at pick up. I cant find my voice and dont know how to be nice but assertive and tell this parent to leave.
One of the reasons is that i close at 5 and the parent (last pick up) is here by 4:45. So technically im still open and the parent should be “allowed” to linger while the business is still open. I cant say “oh i have somewhere to run!” Because technically she could have picked up at 5, so there wasnt somewhere i had to be at 4:50. Kwim?
This parent likes to chat with her child, let her child decide what to put on, and chat with me.
I cant have the kid ready because when i have, the child tells their mom they dont want something on so dcm lets her take it off and then the child wants it back on and basicaly dcm is dressing her anyway.
Im just so annoyed.
Reply
Valerie928 02:23 PM 02-27-2020
I COULD NOT TAKE THIS ANYMORE. Yep, it was getting so bad with the lingering parents here that my own kids were questioning why it took so long for them to leave.

My solution was simple. All the kids I look after act up a bit at pick ups. I took that opportunity to implement Nannyde's bye bye outside. Parents text me when they get here. I get child ready, open the door and pass the child off. Always smiling as to not make it harsh or anything. I then text a brief run down of their child's day which in my opinion, is WAY better than having a parent hang out and annoy the heck out of me.

Even if your dck is good at pick up. You could just say to the parent that you need to do a bye bye outside because you have a busy evening schedule.
Reply
Blackcat31 02:39 PM 02-27-2020
For those really stubborn lingering parents I try the stressed out/have some empathy for me approach....

DCP "Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah"

Me: "I'm sorry Linda, I'm trying to listen but by this time of the day, I'm shot. So if you don't mind I'll just see you tomorrow. If you need to talk to me about anything daycare related, you are welcome to email me at any time. My wine is chilling...See you tomorrow! Bye"

Physically turn and start walking away...

*Shuts door*

Drinks wine straight from the bottle
Reply
MomBoss 02:59 PM 02-27-2020
One week i was sick and literally had no voice and she still was trying to have a conversation with me!
Reply
Valerie928 03:06 PM 02-27-2020
I'm telling you, some kinda bye bye outside thing is the way to go. Parents are too duh to get anything else.
Reply
Valerie928 03:07 PM 02-27-2020
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
For those really stubborn lingering parents I try the stressed out/have some empathy for me approach....

DCP "Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah"

Me: "I'm sorry Linda, I'm trying to listen but by this time of the day, I'm shot. So if you don't mind I'll just see you tomorrow. If you need to talk to me about anything daycare related, you are welcome to email me at any time. My wine is chilling...See you tomorrow! Bye"

Physically turn and start walking away...

*Shuts door*

Drinks wine straight from the bottle
Lol! Yes! Straight from the bottle
Reply
Ariana 06:15 PM 02-27-2020
Stop engaging in conversation! At that time of day I just smile and nod and never really reply or add anything. Sometimes I will simply say “ok guys see you tomorrow” and walk into my kitchen.

Absolutely nothing wrong with it and when they leave give yourself a big high five for sticking up for yourself!!
Reply
Josiegirl 03:16 AM 02-28-2020
Oh boy I can relate. I had a couple lingerers that would stick around and chat with each other as if I wasn't even there while their kids took advantage and ran amok.
I was terrible at confrontation. I do like BC's approach but does it handle the issue long term? Because we all know parents don't take the hint.
I think I would send home a newsletter and tell them(but direct it to no one in particular) what the issue is, the reasons why you need drop off and pick up as quick as possible, then tell them how you're going to implement it.
Then enforce it.
It's hard to do. Trust me, I know. I had 1 dcf who'd come in, bring the 2 older sisters and then all 4 of their girls would be back to playing, running around. It wasn't good. But it was all my fault for allowing it. Drop off was almost just as bad when dcm would bring the girls in, they'd beg for a story from dcm, or play ring around the rosie and dcm always complied. I used to get so dang irritated because of course it distracted the other dcks and many times they were already sitting down for breakfast. Oh boy, the memories..... Kids learn, early on, just how much they can play their parents, and that's exactly what your dcg is doing. Dcm needs to regain some of her control, as do you.
Reply
DaveA 04:45 AM 02-28-2020
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
For those really stubborn lingering parents I try the stressed out/have some empathy for me approach....

DCP "Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah"

Me: "I'm sorry Linda, I'm trying to listen but by this time of the day, I'm shot. So if you don't mind I'll just see you tomorrow. If you need to talk to me about anything daycare related, you are welcome to email me at any time. My wine is chilling...See you tomorrow! Bye"

Physically turn and start walking away...

*Shuts door*

Drinks wine straight from the bottle

I use my shop as the excuse- "Really I'd love to set & chat, but I have to go build an axe!"
Reply
Rockgirl 07:07 AM 02-28-2020
I put a section into my written policies, addressing this. They know from the beginning how I expect pickup to be.

Or, say, “Sorry—I haven’t had a chance to use the restroom for hours—gotta go!”
Reply
Snowmom 11:04 AM 02-28-2020
What is your set up?

Are you a split level home? Enter directly into daycare?

Personally, I would walk child to mom, say "Avery had a wonderful day, see you tomorrow" and walk away.

Unless there are specific concerns (which they should schedule some one-one time for anyway), I don't chat. My focus needs to be elsewhere and I'll let them know that.

"Have a good day Karen, I need to get back to the daycare space." still chatting... "If you need to email me, I'm happy to address that. Right now, my focus needs to be on clean up/daycare children/my children/paperwork".
Reply
AmyKidsCo 02:20 PM 02-28-2020
I used to be a lingerer. Partly because I was desperate for adult conversation after teaching elementary music all day, partly because I figured she was desperate for adult conversation too, and partly because I thought I was being a "good mom" getting to know my provider. I actually used to follow her through her apartment to keep talking with her.
Reply
Unregistered 02:41 PM 02-28-2020
I have one mom in particular who always wants to know how her daughter’s day was and what she did that day. Do you guys share that with the parent every day? I feel like if I don’t I’m being rude but pick up time is so chaotic.
Reply
Tags:backbone, bye bye outside, enforcing policies - consistency, lingering, lingering parents
Reply Up