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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Mean Girl & Early Riser ?
KDC 08:51 AM 01-31-2014
Hi I have 2 questions that I'm hoping you ladies can help with.

1. I have a DCG that I've had since she was 6 months, she is now 8 and in 2nd grade. We live in a cul-de-sac and I watch DCG-8 and other neighbor DCG-6 before school for about an hour. The two of them were planning a play date at DCG's lake house and was very snotty towards my kids (also age 8&6). My son who isn't phased by much told me 'he hates that I do daycare', because of feeling left out. I first video'd the naughty kids behavior (DCG can act sweet as pie, then lie and parents do not always believe an adult because thier sweetie pie wouldn't lie, ever!) then I simply said they needed to have this conversation another time because it was rude, she argued, I asked how she would feel in my kids position, she continued to whisper in which I told her I would be having a conversation with her parents, she snidely rolled her eyes until I told her I had her on video, where her eyes bugged out Today her father texted and let me know she wasn't feeling well and wouldn't be here before school. Should I bring it up with parents, or leave it be? Kids will be kids, but my blood was boiling at the disrespect. I haven't seen that behavior since she was three... she waited for me to turn around back then!

2. I have a DCB who just turned two. Mom dropped him off this morning saying he woke up at 4 am today and he may be tired so I may have to put him down early this morning. My issue... Nap is at 1 and she knows this, I do not just willy nilly put kids down to nap. He's a total nightmare so far this morning. How does anyone else deal with this? He may just pass out on the floor, then not make the transfer and fight me at 1 for a nap. Do I just deal? WWYD? They're always so inconsistent, drives me mad.
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Cat Herder 09:06 AM 01-31-2014
Originally Posted by KDC:
Hi I have 2 questions that I'm hoping you ladies can help with.

1. I have a DCG that I've had since she was 6 months, she is now 8 and in 2nd grade. We live in a cul-de-sac and I watch DCG-8 and other neighbor DCG-6 before school for about an hour. The two of them were planning a play date at DCG's lake house and was very snotty towards my kids (also age 8&6). My son who isn't phased by much told me 'he hates that I do daycare', because of feeling left out. I first video'd the naughty kids behavior (DCG can act sweet as pie, then lie and parents do not always believe an adult because thier sweetie pie wouldn't lie, ever!) then I simply said they needed to have this conversation another time because it was rude, she argued, I asked how she would feel in my kids position, she continued to whisper in which I told her I would be having a conversation with her parents, she snidely rolled her eyes until I told her I had her on video, where her eyes bugged out Today her father texted and let me know she wasn't feeling well and wouldn't be here before school. Should I bring it up with parents, or leave it be? Kids will be kids, but my blood was boiling at the disrespect. I haven't seen that behavior since she was three... she waited for me to turn around back then!

2. I have a DCB who just turned two. Mom dropped him off this morning saying he woke up at 4 am today and he may be tired so I may have to put him down early this morning. My issue... Nap is at 1 and she knows this, I do not just willy nilly put kids down to nap. He's a total nightmare so far this morning. How does anyone else deal with this? He may just pass out on the floor, then not make the transfer and fight me at 1 for a nap. Do I just deal? WWYD? They're always so inconsistent, drives me mad.
1. IMHO. Take what you want, leave the rest, not intended to sound harsh.

** This situation is not going to get better. In your shoes I'd go ahead and end the daycare relationship. It has already affected your child's friendships, your relationship with your neighbors and could become a bigger issue at the public school playground. (the video taping could also come back to bite you legally if you did not have permission. )

2. I would have laid him down for an hour when he first arrived. I do it anytime I forsee them being too groggy to eat, play and participate well due to an occasional rough night. Nightmares can be pretty common at this age.


I hope next week goes better for you!!!
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Play Care 09:09 AM 01-31-2014
I had a similar situation with a SA DCG, in that she was a disrespectful, rude child but mine was super sneaky as well so I didn't even realize the terrible untrue things she was saying about me to her parents.
TERM. It won't get any better. Trust me on that.

I've put kids down a little early, if it will save my sanity. But I won't do any more than that.
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LadyPearl 09:14 AM 01-31-2014
I am also having issues with a set of parents who think their kids can take naps whenever they want. So today I put them down at Dad's suggested time and after an hour, one of them is still awake. Not sure how to handle this! The younger one is an absolute nightmare when he's tired and I can't let him nap whenever he wants. I'm new to daycare and trying to construct a schedule. It's impossible to have a routine when I'm putting kids down early or literally fighting with a miserable child because he wants to nap 2 hours before nap time. Here's the kicker, Dad's suggested nap time conflicts with me having to pick up their other child from play school.
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Blackcat31 09:14 AM 01-31-2014
That pretty much sums up why I don't take SA kids. I would feel even more adamant about it if I had young kids of my own in the mix.

SA kids are mean. I don't care who they are or how they are raised. They're mean.
It's part of how they learn about themselves, their peers and the social world around them (with the help of natural consequences...).

Just not something I want to get into because as you said parents are NEVER going to see "your" side of it. Even with video to support it....

I would take CH's advice and end the relationship. It isn't worth the stress and stuff it puts on you and your child.

As for the early riser....again, I agree with CH. I wouldn't fight a parent on an occasional bad night but if it were a habit, I'd address it and nip it in the bud immediately.
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KDC 09:21 AM 01-31-2014
Yep... I am certainly feeling the relationships suffer as a result of doing daycare. What used to be a friendly convenient way to help has become somewhat of a tricky situation. I feel bad because they are neighbors and we spend so much time with them in the summer just based almost purely on location. As the kids grow and have different interests it's all changing. I've learned to not talk behind anyones back, especially in the cul-de-sac circle. No matter how tempting, you can't do it - it will bite you in the a$$. It's a shame the others haven't learned this yet. The kids are learning from the parents and it's a shame. This will be my last year for taking on SA's. It's too difficult of a relationship to manage.

I do have a waiver that everyone signs for video/pictures because I typically use the footage for a DVD for x-mas for all the families. It also covers any of the pictures I use for my website or daycare Facebook.

I have low attrition rate because I always try to work out the issues, even when I should probably give up. The kids have formed relationships and we've become a little family. It's helpful to hear you put them down for an hour and that typically resolves the issue. I can try that and see if it works. In my head he screams as soon as I put him to bed. Can't be any worse than him screaming his head around everyone else!
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Tags:development, naptime routine, neighbors, providers own child, stress, video monitors
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